YaoiYuriHentai
by Jodeh
Summary: In a world of perverted humor, fueding friends and complicated love, Kitsune, Dinah, Momo, Garret and Flavia appeared. Driving the land of ninja insane, friendship wobbles and death hangs in the air... DeidaraxOC HidanxOC ItachixOC MadaraxOC PeinxKonan OCxTemari
1. I lost the baby!

_WAAAAAAAAH! WAAAH WAAAAAAH!_

I groan loudly, covering my face with my hands and digging my nails into my skin. That's it. I'm gonna lose it. I'm gonna blow my fucking brains.

Forget the money, I don't even _like_ kids.

"I JUST WANNA SLEEP!" I scream into a pillow.

The stupid baby pulls my long, red hair again. I snap my head to glare at the baby so fast, I'm amazed I didn't give myself whiplash.

"STOP IT!" I yell.

And of course, this just makes the baby cry louder. Boy, am I a terrible babysitter.

I pick up my phone and call my friend, Momo. "PLEASE HELP ME, MOMO! I NEED HELP, IM SUFFERING AND-AHHHH!"

"Lemme guess you're babysitting? Again." Momo questions. You could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "Whatever, I'll be right over."

Momo was my brunette friend. She's kind of a night person and has a thing for anime.

I then dial Flavia's number, because why not? Everyone should suffer with me.

"Hey Flavia... You know how we're like best friends." I say in a sing-songy voice. "Can you come over here and bring Garret with you? He's like, really good with kids."

"Yeah, and I'd better be getting a cut of your pay." Flavia groaned. "I was sleeping, asshole..."

"It's only midnight~"

"Whatever."

"I love you too, baby."

She hangs up in my face. So at that point, I just had to sit and wait for them to show up.

Flavia has jet black hair that's usually up in a ponytail. It's really short though, so it always looks stupid.

There's a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I yell.

"IT'S HENTAI-CHAN! OPEN UP, YAOI-CHAN!" Flavia yells back.

I laugh and tug the door open, the baby momentarily forgotten. "Hey guys!"

Momo holds up a bag of Takis. "I brought something for you, Yaoi-chan."

I gasp dramatically. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU! ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, YURI-SAMA!"

"I'm glad you like it so much." Momo rolls her eyes and scoffs. "I mean, it's not like I like you or whatever. B-Baka."

There's a pause, then the 3 of them burst into laughter. At that point, my younger brother Garret barges in.

"What's with you guys' nicknames..." He shakes his head slowly.

"What's with your blonde hair?" I snap back the first thing to come to mind.

"What's with your red hair?"

"What's with-"

"Kitsune, where's the baby." Flavia interrupts.

"What?!" I do a double take. "SHIT. NUU, IM SO FUCKING DEAD."

"Language!"

"Aw shit, not again." Momo facepalms. "Really, Kitsune?"

"Shut up and help me look!" I throw a pillow at her. "Why now, of all times, did it have to stop crying?!"

"Don't worry, we'll visit you in jail." Garret teases.

Flavia sighs. "Maybe-"

_WAAAAAAH_

Faint crying could be heard from the backyard. Kitsune turns on her heel and bolts outside.

We all run out to the backyard, only to see a what seemed like a crack in the... In the universe, I guess.

"Woaah." Garret cooes.

"Totally." Momo agrees.

"This is cool as dicks!" I announce, running at it. "LETS TOUCH IT!"

I put my hand on the crack, but my hand goes right into it,

"KITSUNE!" Flavia grabs free hand.

"What in hells name?" Momo grabs Flavia's hand.

Garret just stares curiously.

"THE TV! IT'S EVILLLLLLLL!" I scream as we all get sucked in.

The word "evil" echoes around us.

"Woah..." Garret's voice echoes.

"What's going on?" Flavia.

"WHERE'S THE BABY!" Me...

"WHO THE FUCK LOSES A BABY!" Momo yells at me.

"Apparently, I do." I mumble.

* * *

><p>We all land HARD on the ground, surronded by trees.<p>

"Is it them?"

"They don't seem like it..."

"Are you sure you put it in the right place?"

"Pretty sure."

Voices echo around us, asking a million questions a minute.

"FUCK OFF!" I scream. "I hate being stared at!"

Flavia mutters something.

"Huh?" I stare confused.

She whispers it again.

"Huh? OH! RUuun!" I jolt up and run thorugh the forest, dodging about a million trees!

"What's with all the trees!" Garret yells.

"Where are we?" Momo yells back.

_**The Narutoverse.**_

A voice echoes in the back of my mind.

"A CREEPY VOICE IN MY HEAD SAYS WE'RE IN THE NARUTOVERSE!" I announce. "I THINK WE SHOULD TRUST IT!"

We all hide in a cave, my friends staring at me.

"What?" I cross my arms.

"A creepy voice in your head?" Flavia feels my forehead.

"Told you we were in the...?" Momo looks around.

"Narutoverse?" Garret stands up. "You must've fallen on your-"

"IT'S JUST LIKE THE FANFICTIONS! WE GOT SUCKED INTO SOMETHING AND ENDED UP IN THE NARUTOVERSE!" I cheer. "I WANNA MEET THE AKATSUKI!"

"You've lost your mind." Garret huffs.

"I have not!"

"You do realize they'd probably kill us on sight?"

"Well..."

"Yeah, your right. You haven't lost your mind." Flavia pats my head. "You've read waay to many fanfics."

"NO! I'm serious!"

**_Watch out behind you_**

I whip around, listening to the voice. Only to see Garret about to throw a handful of mud at me. That little jerk.

"I now trust the voice in my head!" I laugh.

"How come I didn't get one?" Momo pouts.

"Because _I'M the _special one!" I clap.

"Yeah, the chosen one!" Flavia laughs.

"Nah, i couldn't be the chosen one." I joke. "I'd probably trip and fall in the middle of fighting whoever I'm 'spose to fight!"

"Yeahhh..." My friends and brother agree.

"HEY!"

"Who's in here, un?" A voice echoes through the cave.

It may have been DARK and all, but I used my fangirl senses to sniff out the terrorist blonde!

"EEEEEEE!" I squeal jumping on Deidara's back. "IT'S REALLY HIM! MY WISH IS COMING TRUE!"

_**You're insane...**_

_Am not!_

**_You're hugging an S-ranked criminal!_**

_I'm not hugging him! I'm GLOMPING him!_

"What the fuck, hm?" Deidara protests.

"Please excuse my sister, she's very... friendly." Garret rubs his head tiredly.

"What're you 4 kids doing out here?" Deidara questions.

"We got sucked through a portal! Then in some ripple in time, we landed at the feet of some weirdo's staring at us, so then we ran an hide here!" I explain happily.

"You can explain all that...?" Flavia questions. "But you can't pass a stupid science quiz?"

"SCIENCE IS STUPID!" I hop off of Dei's back. "NARUTOVERSE ROCKS!"

"Yaoi-chan, calm down." Momo holds her hands up.

"Hentai-chan! Yuri-chan's telling me to calm down!" I joke.

"Why do I have to be Yuri-chan?" Momo complains.

"We've been through this, it was the last one left!" Flavia laughs.

"Why aren't you part of this, hm?" Deidara turns to Garret.

"Cause, I'm not a girl." He rolls his eyes. "And also, I'm not fucking insane."

"What's that gotta do with anything?"

"I'm not a hentai fan, not a yuri-fan, not a yaoi fan, and not a FANGIRL." Garret plops down on a rock.

"WELL, FUCK YOU TOO THEN!" I yell, faking offense.

Us three girls start cracking up right then and there.

"Hey blondie, can you tell us where we are?" Momo says between laughs.

"Nope."

"Fine! I'll figure it out myself!" I run deeper into the cave.

**~~~(Flavia's P.O.V)~~~**

Kitsune runs deeper into the cave, to the point that I couldn't even see her anymore.

Not that I could see her so well when she was over here. It is pretty dark...

"If we're where we think we are..." Momo mutters.

"3... 2... 1..."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kitsune squeals.

"That girl has got some lungs, hm." Deidara starts walking deeper too.

We follow after eagerly.

**~~~(Kitsune's P.O.V)~~~**

After my very loud squeal, I stop to catch my breath.

"ZOMG! I'M IN THE AKATSUKI BASE!" I cheer. "...AND THERE'S SASORI!"

"Er... Yaoi-chan, hm! Quit screaming before you wake everyone up!" Deidara grabs me before Sasori sees me.

"Hey cool, he calls you Yaoi-chan now!" Flavia points out happily.

"Shut up, hm."

Deidara leads us up a flight of stairs, then turns to stare at me.

I was about to collapse at the top of the stairs.

"Your weak, un." He points out. "We're not even there yet."

"Carry me?" I plead, giving him Bambi eyes.

"No."

"I'll be quiet if you do!"

"No."

"DEIDARA!" I whine. "WHY WON'T-"

He shoves his hand over my mouth and picks me up bridal style.

I try to use my awesome mind powers to send a message to him.

_YOU CAN MOVE YOUR HAND NOW!_

Like I have any mind powers. Though, I try a lot.

As we're going up the second flight of steps, which was a lot shorter, i start struggling to move his hand away. Why? Because that mouth on his hand was getting a LITTLE to close! If ya know what I mean.

"MM-AAAA-RAAA!" I pull again.

"What, un?"

After another tug I get his hand off my mouth.

"To close. Way to close." I gasp for air.

He drops me on the floor of his bedroom.

"What's your problem, hm?"

"My problem is that I don't want my first kiss done by a hand!" I huff.

"Ahh..." He nods and walks off to another part of the room and plops down on the bed.

"First kiss?" Momo and Flavia chime.

"I thought you already had one!" Momo questions.

"Umm... I lied."

"Your 14 right?" She questions.

"Ahhh... yes?" I shrug. "So?"

"You need to be kissed." Flavia gets to the point.

"I'll get kissed when I get another boy friend, ok!"

"You never had one!" Garret points out.

"AHH! GARRET SHUT UP!"

"I'm out, un." Deidara stands up as I turn to say something to him.

He goes into the bathroom, and the sound of shower water comes on.

There's a moment of silence.

"I DARE you." Garret says. "Any of you."

"Nope, not me! I'm not that big a Dei-fan!" Momo holds her hands up.

"What?" I glance up. "I'm all Akatsuki fangirl and all, but I won't do it alone."

I get a few stares.

"What! Quit staring!" I huff.

"I'll do it with you!" Flavia whispers.

We slap high-fives, then crawl to the bathroom door.

"Perverts." Momo snickers.

I turn the door knob slowly and push the door open some.

I nod to Flavia to peek in.

She takes a look in timidly, then crawls away blushing. THAT just makes me curious. I peek in too, then turn a light shade of pink. I close the door silently, then crawl over to my friends.

"What'd you see?" Momo presses.

"I saw everything." Flavia covers her eyes snickering.

"Meh, I saw some." I pout.

"Your such a pervy fangir-"

Someone starts pounding on the door.

"Deidara! What the fuck are you doing in here?" A voice huffs.

I glance over to Garret and give him pleading eyes.

He sighs quietly, then uses his BEST Deidara impression, "What the fuck do you mean, hm?"

"I heard a bunch of female yells and voices... what're you doing in there?"

"Who is it, hm?" Garret continues.

"..."

I put my ear to the door to hear the voice better.

"Annoying brat." The voice mutters.

"Its Itachi!" I whisper in Garrets ear.

"Go away, Uchiha."

The bathroom door opens, and Deidara flips on the light.

I hiss quietly, "That fucking burns, asshole! Turn off the light!"

"Itachi's at the door..." Momo whispers.

"Fuck off, hm!" Garret continues using Deidara's voice.

Deidara gives him a funny look.

I listen for the foot steps walking away.

"OK, he's gone." I announce.

"You are insane, hm."

"Am not."

"HIDE AND SEEK!" Flavia announces.

"No. No hide and seek." Deidara instructs.

"Get us some food blondie!" Garret orders.

"And some clothes!" I add, noting the baby barf on my current shirt.

"And something to do!" Momo also adds.

"And some blankets and pillows!" Flavia finishes.

"I can only get you two things on that list, hm." Deidara walks out, leaving us alone.

"Well, I'm in the shower if you need me!" I announce going through Deidara's drawers.

I pull out on of his shirts and some boxers.

"Your just gonna go through his stuff like that?" Garret points out.

"Yup." I walk into the steamy bathroom and turn on the shower after some figuring out.

**~~~(Momo's P.O.V)~~~**

"So, how long until we all fall in love?" I joke, making a pretend checklist. "I mean, we're already at the Akatsuki base so we are waaaay ahead of schedule."

"Oh shut up, this isn't a fanfiction." Garret grunts.

Deidara comes back in after awhile with some food and a few blankets and pillows.

"Your welcome, hm." He says sarcastically.

"Thanks, Dei!"

"..." He looks around. "Where's the other one?"

"Shower." I answer.

"I thought she didn't have any clothes, un?"

The shower squeaks off, and you could hear Kitsune muttering the words to poker face.

"She found some." Flavia starts playing slide-baby with Garret. "Slide baby one, baby two, baby i love you."

Deidara sighs and sets all the stuff on the ground and goes back to his bed.

"I smell fooood!" Kitsune says in a sing-song voice.

**~~~(My P.O.V)~~~**

I sit on the ground around the food.

"It actually fits on you?" Garret asks.

"Eh, So-so." I shrug taking a piece of chicken.

"Whaddya mean, so-so?" Flavia pulls on the shirt.

"The bottoms fit fine, the top... not so much." I fix the shirt again.

"Its just a little low, that's all." Momo assures.

"Yeah, a little low is a lot to me, in a house full of guys." I huff.

"Greeaaat, a 14 year old girl can fit my clothes, hm." Deidara says sarcastically.

It was now bedtime!

And boy was I tired, i mean, it IS 2 in the morning!

"Heads up, Deidara. Kitsune likes to do things to you while you sleep," Flavia warns.

"I do not!" I protest.

"So try and sleep light." Momo adds.

"They're lying!" I huff.

"Go to sleep, Yaoi-chan." Flavia pats my head.

"Good night, Hentai-chan! Sleep tight, Yuri-chan! Don't let the Zetsu's bite!" I joke.

We laugh quietly.

When everyone's asleep, I tip-toe downstairs and grab a squid from the fish tank. I wander around, peeking into rooms until i find Hidan's room. I'm such a pervy fangirl...

I take the squid and stick it in his pants, then rush out the room. The next room over was Deidara's, so I skip it and go to Kisame's.

Everyone's gonna be pissed in the morning.


	2. Hey Deidara!

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p><strong>Momo's P.O.V<strong>

When i wake up in the morning, I'm awakened by a scream.

"FUCK!" A guys voice.

Then another girl scream.

"What the fuck is going on, hm?" Deidara yawns.

"Yaoi-chan did some baaad things..." Flavia mutters.

"LEMME GOOO!" Kitsune screams. "I'M INOCCENT I TELL YOU! INNOCENT!"

The three of us(me, Flavia, and Garret) run out the room to investigate.

Itachi had poor Kitsune in a head lock.

I couldn't help but laugh.

Itachi's head shoots up to stare at the three of us laughing our asses off.

"SHUT UP! IT's not funny!" Kitsune huffs.

**My P.O.V**

I got caught trying to draw on Itachi's face .

BOOOOOO!

Now my friends are laughing at me! XD

"Where did all of you come from?"

"UP YOUR ASS AND AROUND THE CORNER!" I snap.

He holds a knife up to my neck, "Answer me, now."

"I'M A LITLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLE! HERE IS MY STOUT!"

"What's with all the racket?" A shadow-figure comes outta nowhere!

"OH hi Pein!" I blurt out. "...oops..."

"dumbass!" My three friends smack me upside the head.

"Sorry!" I blurt out again.

"Who are you three and how did you get in here?" Pein questions.

"Actually, we just wandered in here!" Garret yawns, trying to be loud.

"SASODEI 4EVER!" I blurt out again... couldn't help it! w

"Yaoi-chan! SHUT UP!" Flavia hits me again.

"STOP HITTING ME!" I kick her in the shin.

She starts hopping on one foot, "You little bitch!"

"JASHIN FUCKER!" I huff, hiding my laughs.

Flavia smirks, "PEIN SUCKER!"

I gasp, "OH NO YOU DI'INT!"

"Oh yes I di-id!"

"Your both insane," Garret chuckles. "I can't believe your using that bit at a time like this!"

"I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN A BARBIE WOOOORLD!" Momo sings.

"MY BOOBS ARE PLASTIC! THAT'S FANTASTIC!" Flavia adds laughing.

"YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR, UNDRESS ME EVERY WH-E-E-EEERE!" I finish.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL THE YELLING AND DUMBASS SINGING!" Hidan barges out his room.

"JASHIN FUCKER!" I yell at him.

There's an awkward silence.

"oooohhh!" Garret laughs. "You just insult his god like that? You gonna take that Hidan?"

"HIDAN IS A JASHIN FUCKING BITCH WHO GETS FUCKED IN THE ASS BY KAKUZU EVERYDAY AND NIGHT!" I laugh.

"Why don't we take this downstairs?" Momo offers walking down the steps.

Itachi, Pein, Hidan, and sorta me jump off the side banister.

"BRING IT ON!" I laugh all evil-like.

He raises his eye brow and takes a few steps towards me.

I scream and hide behind the couch.

"What the fuck was that?" He questions.

"PLACE YER BETS! WHO SHALL WIN!" Momo yells as more Akatsuki come downstairs.

My freinds placed bets on me, the Akatsuki placed bets on Hidan.

"That's insulting, yaknowwhatImean?" I huff. "How dare you place bets on Hidan."

"Your the one whoes hiding behind the couch." Sasori points out.

"WHO ASKED YOU!"

"Uh, you did." Tobi adds.

"Shut up Tobi!"

"You sure do know a lot..." Pein mutters.

"That's cause I have smarticals! ...unlike a CERTAIN albino WHO I WILL NOT NAME." I joke.

"How very obvious." Kakuzu points out.

"Thank yoU!"

"Whoes she talking about?" Hidan humors me.

I change subjects, "AWOOOO!" I start crawling aorund acting like a dog. "WOOF WOOF! WOOOOOOOOFFF! WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF!"

"What's wrong with this chick, hm?"

"She's Yaoi-chan! That's what's wrong with her!" Garret laughs.

I growl at him, "RUFF RUFF! don't make me bite you! RUFF RUFF! Cuz I will! RUFF RUFF RUFF!"

"You look retarded," Hidan comments.

"AWOOOOOOO!" I lunge at him and bite his leg.

"You! Little! Bitch! Get off!" Hestarts kicking em with his otehr leg.

I sure as hell don't let go!

I'll let go when i rip his leg off!

Flavia pulls me off and pets my head.

"Good girl!"

I clap my hands happily.

"Weird..." Kisame mutters, then walks up to us. "Do you guys know who we are?"

"Yep." Flavia crosses her arms.

"And... do you fear us?"

"Fuck no!" I laugh. "We're fangirls! You guys are a joke to us... for now..." I laugh evilly then go raid there kitchen.

"A fan girl?"

"A female super fan!" Momo cheers.

"They're a nightmare..." Garret mumbles.

"..."

Everyone just stares at us.

"Stop staring, it's RUDE!" Flavia yells.

I whip out my phone and start reading Uchihacest online.

More specifaccly: BROTHER MY BROTHER.

Momo smirks, "STOP READING BROTHER MY BROTHER!"

"WAAAHH!" I switch to SLAVE RUN.

Momo glances at my phone screen.

"STOP READING UCHIHACEST!"

"WAAAHHHH!" I scream.

"I SAID NOT TO READ IT AROUND ME!"

"BUT IT'S SO AWESOME!"

"I SAID NO!"

I go pout behind the couch with a bag of chips a found.

Deidara walks in from the kitchen with a soda, "...what's with her, un?"

"Hentai-chan won't let me read Uchihacest!" I whine with anime tears streaming down my face.

"What's... Uchihacest, hm?"

"Uhhhh... send all Uchiha's out the room!" I order.

"..."

Of course no one listen's to me, so I just whisper it into his ear.

O.v He stares at me wide-eyed.

"Yeppers, thats me." I shrug.

"PEIN FUCKER!" Momo yells.

"...whoes Pein?" Sasori mumbles. "And why are you accusing each other of fucking him?"

"C'MON HIDAN! LET'S FIGHT!" I change the subject.

Momo rasies her arms up, "LEADER-SAMA EQUALS-"

"SHUT UP!" Flavia smacks the back of her head. "ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT PEIN IS-"

"GUYS! SHUT YOUR FAT ASS MOUTHS!" Garret covers there mouths.

I wonder if these Akatsuki can put 2 and 2 together?

"You guys are trying to get us killed..." I mutter.

"AND YOUR NOT, TRYING TO FIGHT HIDAN!" Garret yells back.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"NO!"

"AT LEAST I'M NOT THE ONE ABOUT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT LEADER-SAMA IS PEIN!" I yell out impulsively.

Everyone stares at me wide-eyed.

"KITSUNE!" My three friends yell.

"Ahhh... no one heard that?" I mutter blushing.

Everyone backs out the room awkwardly.

Except for Pein of course.

"Ahmmm... welll... at least I didn't tell them you were Nagato?" I try and make the situation better.

_AHHH! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT! _ I mentally slap myself.

Pein glares at me... very fiercly...

i was almost afraid of him! ...almost...

"Your an idiot sometimes, I hope you know that." Garret points out.

"Sometimes?" Flavia raises her eyebrow.

"Ok all the time."

"HEY!" I pout. "Meanies..."

I turn to Pein.

"Don't glare at me like that! It wasn't my fault! ...I have... A.S.S..."

"A.S.S?" He stares unbeliving.

"Yeah... Atention... Span... Sucks..." I mutter.

"You do realize that spells ass... right?" Momo points out.

"Shut up." I huff.

"Uh-huh..." Pein mutters. "I don't believe a word you just said."

I start muttering to myself, "Everything in the world is out to get me... First I lost a baby, then I get sucked into a portal, then i end up fighting Hidan... or at least trying to, and now Pein just might kill me..."


	3. Meeting new people

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Turns out 7:00 was just before dinner.<p>

Me and Momo hide in the trees, curious on what the hell would happen.

Sasori got here first... Now where the hell is Deidara?

About 5 minutes later, Sasori is suddenly surronded by Konoha-nins.

"..." I force myself to stay quiet, which was pretty hard.

They attack. "SASORI!" Momo screams in a very Sakura-way.

The nins turn to us, sliding down our tree. They freeze up and stare. I could only recognize Kakashi, Asuma, and Kurenai.

"RAWR!" I raise my arms, then run off. The three i recognize chase after me and Momo.

Once I'm close enough to the base, I scream bloody murder and make a sharp turn.

**Deidara's P.O.V**

Sitting downstairs, looking for something to do, I hear a loud scream.

"What'd that girl do now?" Itachi mutter.

Anyone could recognize that scream.

Its Kitsune.

Momo comes bursting into the living room, looking wide-eyed and worried. "ITACHI! DEIDARA! KITSUNE AND SASORI NEED HELP!" She yells running past us. "Ugh, your no help!"

Kitsune and Sasori need help? What'd they do?

"PEEEEEEIIIIIIINNNN!" She screams at the top of her lungs. Leader pops outta nowhere glaring.

**Momo's P.O.V**

I was still super wide eyed.

"What?" Pein replies.

"Sasori! And- and Kitsune! T-they! And Konoha! Trick! HELP!" I stutter.

His look dosen't change, "English, please."

I take a deep breath, "Me and Kitsune and Flavia were having some fun and kinda tricked Sasori! Th-then Konoha came, and Kitsune- she's getting them off the trail to the base, and O-M-G SASORI MIGHT DIE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Pein sighs and shakes his head slowly, "We don't have time to go chasing after your friend, and Sasori can take care of his self."

I glare daggers at the carrot-topped guy,"Yeah, SASORI can take care of himself. What about Kitsune? Whoes gonna take care of her?"

"Not our problem," Pein walks off. "We didn't invite you to live here."

"Well if you won't help her, I WILL." I growl, running out the room.

**My P.O.V**

Oh gawd, I hate running. I hate karma right now, too.

I come to a dead end from where I was running. I whip around to face my pursuers.

I get the hiccups as Kakashi walks up to me, looking to be checking me out.

I guess i did look a bit suspecting with what I was wearing.

A black short skirt with ripped skinny jeans under. The jeans were light blue and kinda faded near the rips. On my shirt was the word YAOI written in big letters.

Kakashi holds the Akatsuki cloud on my necklace up suspiciously.

I put on my best clueless act. "Who-who are you...?" I give him bambi eyes.

Surprisingly, he didn't answer. "Why do you have this symbol on your necklace," He commands more than questions.

Still playing the shy and confused girl act gives me some time to think of an answer.

My first: "CUZ THEY'RE DAMN AWESOME!" Cue evil laugh.

My second: "I-I found i-it and th-thought it looked p-pretty..."

My third: "I... Don't... Remember..."

"Well?" Kurenai snaps me out my thoughts.

I deciede to go with the third, "I-I... Don't remember..."

"How'd you get here?" Kakashi.

"Why'd you run from us," Asuma.

"And whoes that?" Kurenai.

"I don't know how I-I got here, I ran from y-you cause I-I got scared, and..." I pretend to recognize the person coming out the forest.  
>"Momo! It's you!" I hug my friend. "I thought I lost you forever!"<p>

She gives me a questioning look. "Just go with it," I whisper.

I fake cry just to add extra measures.

"Yeesh, quit being such a wimp," Momo scolds patting my head.

I wipe my eyes, "S-Sorry..." "And who're these people?" Momo points an accusing finger.

Her Akatsuki ring in full view(it was really pretty).

Kurenai glares, "What's with the ring?"

"What's wrong with my ring?" Momo pretends to admire it.

"The symbol on it," Kurenai rolls her eyes. "Where'd you get it?"

"I really just don't remember," Momo mutters.

"So let me get this straight," Asmua rubs his temples. "Your both sporting Akatsuki jewlrey with no idea where it came from, and you expect us to believe you?"

"Yeah pretty much,"

"Y-Yeah..." I love playing shy girl. "B-But it's ok if you d-don't believe us, n-no one ever d-does..."

"I'm sick of it!" Momo snaps. "Everyone thinks just cause we're the alone little girls, dirty and with no memory, that we're always lying! They know nothing about what we've been through! Nothing!"

This gets a few stares, and some nods of sympathy.

Kakashi steps forward, "Come with us, lead a normal life, figure out your past, plan your future,"

The two of us pretend to think about the offer.

"W-we're fi-"

"We'll take you up on your deal!" Momo interupts.

My face heats up with anger from her interuption.

I'm guessing the Konoha nins took it as embarresment, cause Kurenai gives me a pity look.

"O-ok..." I sneak a glare at Momo.

The Konoha nins hop up into the trees, expecting us to follow.

"W-we don't h-have any ninja t-techniques." I glance up at them with my head slightly down.

"I'll carry you," Kurenai smiles. I timidly crawl onto her back with a small smile.

_Gawd, I feel like Hinata with all this stuttering,_ I think.

Momo jumps on Kakashi's back laughing like a maniac.

By night time, we were halfway to Konoha. We stop in a clearing for a break.

"Before I forget." Kakashi turns to me. "What's your name?"

"Uh... Um..." I look away. "M-my name's Kit,"

"No last name?"

"I, uh. Don't r-remember i-it..."

And that was the first and possibly only truth.

I let out a quiet sigh and lean on my tree, holding my akatsuki cloud necklace.

"You seem attached to that necklace," Kakashi grimaces.

I blush, "It just... C-comforts m-me..."

"You do realize that symbol-"

"Kakashi!" Kurenai snaps. "Leave the poor girl be!"

Kakashi backs off... For now. That's when Momo starts taking advantage of my shy act.

"Kit! Go get me some food!" She commands.

"F-from where?"

"Go find some!"

I pretend to shrink back.

She smirks at my reaction.

I stalk off, looking for some food.

As soon as I'm far enough, I start venting my annoyance and anger oon a tree. "That fucking son of a bitch! Ugh I swear! If she wasn't- UGH!- If she wasn't so- AAAGH!"

Some apples fall out the tree.

I gather them, put on the shy act again, and walk back to the clearing. "H-here..." I mumble handing her some apples. "Good job," Momo pats my head. I go and sit alone by a tree, munching on my own apple.

Momo soon falls asleep, along with almost everyone else.

Kurenai took the first watch. "Hey Kit..." Kurenai snaps me out of my thoughts once again.

"Y-yeah?"

"You shouldn't let Momo take advantage of you like that..."

"I-I know, but it's just that... She can get very violent a-and when she fights, a-all her anger goes into i-it and p-practically kills the p-person," I explain timidly.

Kurenai nods understandingly, "So your afraid of her?"

"N-No!" I blush as I realize my loudness.

Kurenai chuckles, "Get some sleep, you have a lot to do tomorrow."

I deciede to do something very Tobi like.

"Hopefully. Being with Momo gets boring."

Kurenai gives me a confused look, "huh?" I use my scary voice,

"I'm not really scared of her, nor weak," I shrug, then go back to shy. "G-Good night Kurenai-chan."

I lay down, inwardly smirking and extremly satisfied.

"What just happened...?"

**~~~ Flavia's P.O.V~~~**

Dinner was very awkward without Kitsune cracking jokes and making light of everything, without Momo getting Kitsune and Garret to fight.

Speaking of Garret, he seems to have really hit it off with Konan and Hidan.

"...where's the other two?" Konan looks around worridly.

Probaly worrying about whether they were destroying the house or not.

I glare at Pein, Deidara had told me what happened.

"Pe- Leader-sama decieded to let Momo go after Kitsune, ALONE! CUZ HE WAS BEING A LAZY BASTARD!" I snap, then stomp off to gain my calm.

I come back, "I'm sorry Leader-sama, and as I was saying: They're probaly captured by now cause they're not ninja like Sasori..."

Pein's glare at me softens.

"I miss them..." I mutter sitting down. "They'd make this dinner sooo funny!"

"Knowing Kitsune as well as I do, she's probaly going Tobi on them," Garret points out.

"What does that mean?" I rub the back of my head.

"It means," He leans over to whisper in my ear. "She's probaly having a split personality, like Tobi. Cause Tobi's really Madara Uchiha, a world domination master mind,"

"SPOILER MUCH!" I exclaim.

"Sorry," He mutters.

"And yeah. your probaly right," I nod. "Kitsune's a pretty good actor."

"Exactly,"

"Tobi's lost!" Tobi exclaims.

"Then our plans working," Garret smirks, happy he confused the so-called mastermind.

**My P.O.V**

I'm shaken awake early in the morning.

Forgetting my shy act, I growl out, "Fuck off." My usual response in the morning.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi glares.

I blush in embarresment, "S-Sorry K-Kakashi, I was having a w-weird dream"

_Nice save!_ I think to myself smiling.

He nods his head, then goes to wake up Momo.

"HOLY HIDAN WAFFLES! WHY THE SASORI ARE YOU TOUCHING ME!" Momo yells, cuss words being bleeped out by Akatsuki names.

Asuma stares wide-eyed at her.

"Hmmm, w-why do those n-names s-seem so familiar?" I stutter, going for another save.

"Idunno," Momo slurs, her mind slowly churning to life. "I kept hearing those names in my dream,"

I soften my voice, "Th-that's weird."

Kurenai puts me on her back again, same with Kakashi and Momo. They dash off, heading towards Konoha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we get to Konoha, we go straight to the hokage office.

Kurenai explains for us to Tsunade.

She points a finger at me, which was a surprise.

I hide behind Kurenai wide eyed.

"D-Don't hurt m-me..." I whimper.

Tsunade raises an eye brow, but makes me come forward.

"Everyone else leave for a moment, please," Tsunade shooes the others out.

"..." I stare, still wide-eyed.

"What is your name?" She asks soothingly.

"K-Kit," I look down at the ground.

"Kit... Where are your parents?"

"I-I don't know..." Another truth, I'm a foster child.

"Kit, please calm down," She wipes a tear off my cheek.

Hell, I didn't even know I was crying.

"Now, why're you sporting an Akatsuki necklace?" She points to it.

"I-I don't remember much, j-just bits and pieces," I look her in the eye this time.

"Well, tell me those bits and pieces,"

"Umm... I r-remember this g-guy... With l-like, a really long t-tounge, kinda snakish." I come up with what would've made a good fanfic. "A-and this black haired guy with a ponytail a-and stress lines on e-either side of his nose. And u-um, a guy with a mask. Ummm... H-he had r-really red e-eyes..."

Tsunade nods, actually BELIEVING that just made fanfic.

"What else?"

"S-some kinds of tests tubes, a-and lots of needles pointed a-at m-me. Th-the guy with a m-mask was doing all th-this to m-me."

Hey look, another truth sorta, that one was a dream!

Scary ain't it?

"Anything else?" I shake my head no.

"Well Kit, you and Momo will be kept safe until you can defend yourselves." Tsunade gives me a pity smile. "For now, you will stay in rooms down the hall some,"

I sit in my room, Momo's room right over. "I can't believe this..." I sigh. They actually BELIEVED ME. I miss my brother... And Flavia.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I jump on teh springy couch laughing my ass off as Garret walks in grimacing, dressed as a play boy bunny.

"C'mon! Hop around some!"

He glares, but complies.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Pein walks in.

"I lost a bet and now I'm being blackmailed," Garret grumbles.

"Sing it! C'mon sing it!"

"But I don't know it that well!" He protest, trying to save whatever was left of his pride. He grumbles something.

"SING IT, SLAVE!"

"I pick all my skirts to be a little.. sexy. Just like al my thoughts, they always get a bit naughty, when I'm out with my boys i always play a bit bitchy! Can't change the way I am, Sexy Naughty Bitchy me!." He sings, then walks off. "All i know."

I grab his arm, then hog tie him on the floor.

Pein walks off awkwardly.

I walk off, leaving Garret to fend for himself.

"FLAVY!" He yells.

And I was still bored.

"Leader sama!" I run to his room. "Can I go on a rescue mission if I can get a few Akatsuki members to come? PLEASE?"

He sighs, "Fine, but good luck getting them to come,"

I do a quick cheer then run to Tobi's room.

"HEY TOBI!" I burst into the room. "WANNA GO RESCUE MOMO AND KITSUNE?"

"YEAH!" He cheers.

"WELL THEN LEAVE YOUR CLOAK AND COME ON!" I run off to go get another member unkown to Konoha.

"DEIDARA! COME HELP US SAVE KITSUNE! LEAVE YOUR CLOAK!" Deidara shrugs off his cloak and slowly follow.

"C'mon Itachi." A different much more different from Tobi's says as The blonde and me leave the room.

Me and my team of 4 head out to Konoha.

My team was me, Garret, Deidara, Tobi and Itachi. I hop on Tobi's back, Garret reluctantly gets on Dei's back.

"To KONOHA!" I cheer.

Tobi runs off rather eagerly.

Hmmm? Why's he so excited? It's just a quick rescue mission.

"Tobi can't wait to see Kitsune!" He announces.

"What about Momo?" Garret asks.

"Yeah, her too." Tobi says with less excitement.

I raise an eyebrow at this, "Why so less excited for Momo?"

"Momo called Tobi's mask ugly!" He pouts.

Is this really spose to be a mastermind in disguise? I think Garret overheard one of our anime talks wrong.

"Your mask isn't ugly!" I assure.

**My P.O.V**

I ws wandering around Konoha, looking for a friend.

I actually attracted a lot of attention being some stranger welcomed into the village.

Hinata, Kiba, and Shino walk up to me curious.

"H-Hello..." I wave timidly, unlike what I actually wanted to do.

Hinata smiles at me, "Hello."

"Hey, whats up?"

"..." Shino stares. "Hi."

"I-I'm Kit, w-what's your n-name?"

"I'm Kiba!" Kiba waves. "Your shy aren't you?"

I look down, "I... Y-yeah I guess I-I'm shy."

_**Why're you lying to these people?**_ The voice in my head questioned sternly.

_I panicked, ok? I got scared and then all this happened!_ Shino continues to stare, making me twitch uncomfortably.

"Hi, I'm Hinata!" Hinata steps up to me. "You seem sweet,"

"Th-Thanks." I hold my arm, unsure what to say.

When Naruto and Sakura come up to me curiously.

"Whoes she?" Naruto yells out.

Sakura bops him on the head, "Don't be so rude, Naruto!"

"Owww..."

"I-It's fine, r-really." I hold back a glare.

Sakura looks me up and down, "So what's your name?"

"I-I'm Kit, I'm n-new here." I give a slight bow.

"Wow! You stutter as much as Hinata!" Naruto points out.

Me and Hinata blush red and look down.

"Naruto!" Sakura bops him on the head again.

"Y-You don't have to hit him e-every time h-he does s-something wrong." I stare, trying to get the blush to go away. "N-nobody's p-perfect. I-i admit i-i stutter a l-lot."

Sakura glares at me, but lets it go.

Then Neji, Tenten, and Lee come up.

"Why hello there, young maiden!" Lee runs up to me. "What is your name,"

"K-Kit." I put my hands behind my back and give him a small smile.

"H-hello," I wave to the two people coming up behind him.

"Hello..." Neji waves awkwardly.

Tenten runs her fingers through my hair, "Your hair is so soft... I'm Tenten, that's Neji."

"H-Hi." I wave at Neji. "Hi T-Tenten."

Momo runs up to the group, "HI! I'M MOMO! I'M KIT'S FRIEND!"

There's more introductions, when Choji, Ino, and Shika come up to us.

"Oh? Whoes this?" Ino points to me.

"I-I'm Kit." I wave.

"I'm Momo!"

"Well I'm Ino, that's Shikamaru and Choji!"

Momo claps her hands, "WE SHOULD HAVE AN ALL GIRLS SLEEP OVER!"

"That could be fun," Sakura contemplates.

"IT'LL BE SOOOO MUCH FUN! WE COULD ALL BE FRIENDS!"

"When will we have it?" Ino questions.

I glance up at the darkening sky, "H-How bout n-now?"

"Great idea, Kit," Hinata gives me a warm smile, then flinches as Momo smacks me upside the head.

"Great idea, dumbass!" Momo laughs. "Everyone to our house!" She runs, headed towards the Hokage building, me and the girls follwoing.

I mentally curse her out, and run to keep up with Hinata.


	4. Chapter 4

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>ok, something happened and i lost chapter 5... but not much happened, heres a briefing:<p>

Kitsune went off on Sakura, Tobi and Itachi and Deidara being back Momo and Kitsune.

That freaks Konoha out.

And... The three girls got stuck waking everyone up, so they put on there wake-people-up outfits... getiing mixed results.

Kitsune's outfit: Blue booty shorts that kept riding up, red lace shirt, bunny ears and tail.

flavia's outfit: Green short skirt, black tube top that stopped under her boobs. Raccon ears and tail.

Momo's outfit: Black mini skirt, orange tank top that was to small. Cat ears and tail.

So... let's continue...

* * *

><p>Aw man, we didn't get to change our clothes! .<p>

Pein's pissed(as usual).

We're getting stared at(Of course).

We were dancing btw.

"Run and hit that pussy like a crash dummy!" Garret starts, refusing to dance.

"Bend it over, touch your toes! Shake that ass for me!" The music.

Me, Flavia, and Momo do as the music says.

"Bounce that ass on the floor, bring it back up,"

Still doing as the music says.

"Hit a split on the dick, shawty act up!"

I'm the ONLY one who could do the splits all the way, which is only from pulling a few muscles so I can't feel it.

"Bring it back" (x8)

"you can act," (x7)

"Now bring it back!"

"Yaoi goin hard! Concrete!" Flavia teases, stopping her dance.

"I can shake my ass! One cheek!" I was to into it to stop.

"Two cheek! Both cheek, both cheek!" Momo does the same as Flavia.

"Got a white girl, freak she gotta no cheek!" (Garret)

I pause, notcing all the feet(remember? I was bending over and touchin my toes again?)

"You fucking perverts!" I exclam, sitting up.

"In our defense, this is the living room." Sasori shrugs. "Where everyone can go, and we heard music and got curious,"

"Ya still coulda said something," Momo pouts. "How long were you watching?"

"We've been watching from... Bend it over, touch your toes. Shake that ass for me," Hidan smirks. "Did you guys plan this? The outfits? The timing? The fucking song?"

"Its not a fucking song! It's a stripper song!" Momo protests.

Garret cracks up and falls backwards off the couch.

"Shut up!" I start suffocating him with a pillow.

"You guys liked that dance, huh!"

"Just come to dinner..." Pein rubs his temples and walks off.

I once again, pull on these retarded shorts.

We crowd the table, reaching for food, arguing.

"Gimme the damn ramen!" Momo snaps.

"No! It's MY RAMEN!" I hug the bowl.

She ends up crawling across the table and attacking me.

I start shoving noodles in my mouth frantically.

"KITSUNE!" She snatches the bowl away and eats some.

I chew slowly and patiently wait for her to finish.

"Oh Yaoi-chan~!" Flavia teases from behind me.

"What?" I turn around and I see a water gun pointed at me. "What's in it?"

"Yorgurt and milk," She gets a perverted and devious look on her face.

"For...?"

She assualts me with the mixture, then forces my mouth open.

For whatever reason, she shoves a hot dog weiner in my mouth.

I was stunned for about 3 seconds, another 2 and I figured out what she made it look like.

I spit the hot dog and mixture out, then glare at her, "You little nasty!"

She cracks up, falling backwards on the table.

The Akatsuki stare at us, plenty entertained.

I snatch the water gun and attack her with the mixture, aiming for her mouth a lot.

She sits up and blocks the nozzel, "Yuck, I think some got up my nose..."

You do get what the mixture was spose to look like?

Momo comes up from behind me and dumps ice down my shirt.

I cry out and attack her with the mixture.

"Ah! It's like rapid-fire!" Momo exclaims.

I take a bite of a pickle, then throw the empty gun away.

Garret sighs, "It's 6th grade church feast all over again..."

"They did this... At a church?" Kakuzu shakes his head in disbelief.

That bitch tied my hands and feet up with sausage links!

"Hey Deidara!" Momo slides me across the slippery table. "Catch!"

She misses her target completely, and I fall off the table.

"THE HELL! WHAT IS WITH YOU AND HORRIBLE AIM!" I snap.

What made it worse, was I was wriggling around on the ground trying to get up, and these shorts weren't helping the situation.

"Since when are sausages so damn strong!" I huff.

Flavia jumps down and gives me a BIG wedgie.

"AH! Flavia!" I struggle to get free. "You fucking fat ass! Why're you so heavy!"

"Struggling just makes it worse!" She teases.

"I'm leaving before this gets worse," Itachi mutters, leaving the kitchen.

Kakuzu and Sasori and Pein follow suit.

"Does this happen on a regular basis?" Konan was making conversation with Garret.

"Sadly, yes,"

"Wow..."

Momo joins in the wedgie, laughing like a maniac.

"You guys, clean the kitchen!" Konan announces, bounding off.

"Fuck!" I finally manage to get my hands free, then start pushing the two girls off. "But Konan!"

"You made the mess,"

The last few males leave the room, looking a bit red.

Giving up on getting free, I grab Momo's underwear and pull.

"Gah!" She glares at me, then turns to Flavia.

She gives Flavia a major wedgie.

"Ok! Flavia stop!" I whine.

"Tell Momo to let go!"

"After Kitsune stops!"

"Not falling for that again!"

I dump ice down her shorts, making her let go and run off, jumping around like a little kid.

Then Flavia let's go, unpicking her wedgie mumbling something about being childish.

I rub my sore ass, "That was uncalled for!"

"I couldn't help it! Your ass was up in the air and your underwear was sticking out!"

"STILL!"

"Cold! Cold! Cold!" Momo was still bouncing around.

"What... A... Mess..." Flavia looks around.

"There's jizz everywhere!" I laugh, unpicking my own wedgie.

"Really? You had to say it? Really, Yaoi-chan?" Momo sighs.

"Yup," 


	5. Chapter 5

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>I was walking through the forest with Tobi.<p>

We were arranging plans for me to go to different villages and get more information.

"Aw man! But that's work!" I pout, whilst crossing my arms.

"It could be fun work," Madara sighs.

"Fun and work do not mix well!"

He pats my head, "You still have to do it."

"Hmph!"

"You can go to Konoha first." He offers. "You will stay in each village for 3 days."

"Only three!" I huff. "That's not much time..."

"Get over it,"

"Is Momo coming?"

"No, not this time,"

"Great," I jump up and try to reach a random tree branch.

I miss by a few feet.

I keep jumping up and down, trying to get it.

"What're you doing?"

"I can't *Jump* reach the *jump* fucking *jump* tree branch!" I snap.

"..."

-.-" He watches me try a few more times before saying, "You need training,"

"What makes you say that?" I lean tiredly on the tree.

"Not only are out of breath from jumping, but you can't even jump up to a tree branch." Madara points out.

"Hell, I don't even know if I have chakra!" I snap. "And I don't know how to check!"

"You yell to much,"

"You yell to! When your Tobi!"

"Still, your normal self yells a lot,"

"SO!" I plop down on a rock next to him.

He places a hand on my forehead, and it starts glowing.

"The hell are you doing?"

"Seeing if you have chakra,"

"And how're you doing that?"

He stop, "Because if you didn't have chakra, I couldn't take any of it,"

"Hey!" I huff.

"Relax, I didn't take much,"

"Its still messed up," I rant. "I wonder if Momo has chakra? Or Flavia! Or Garret! Probaly, cause I have it and we all came here! Tobi! Go check for me!"

He sighs annoyed, "Bring them here,"

~~~~~~~

After a quick run, with 2 breaks, I bring my two friends and brother back.

"Check them!" I order. "...Please?"

With a sigh, he starts the process, three times.

"You all have chakra!" He announces.

"Who has the most?" Flavia asks, eager.

"It's between Garret and Kitsune-chan!"

I understand now, why the Tobi voice could get annoying.

"AW MAN!" Flavia starts trying to jump up to the branch. "But I bet I'm better at using it!"

Her feet start glowing after a few tries, and she jumps 20 feet, straight up.

"Holy crap!" She grabs onto a random branch.

I glare.

"My turn! My turn!" Momo goes under the tree and jumps about 15 feet up, grabbing a branch.

Garret goes next, and after a few tries, he shoots 30 feet up, "HA HA! BEAT THAT!"

I knew this wouldn't end well.

"Bye guys, I'm gonna go pack for my mission!" I wave nervously.

"Hey wait! You didn't jump yet!" Flavia protest.

"Yeah! Yaoi-chan! Jump!" Momo adds.

Deidara and Hidan appear outta nowhere.

"What's all this hype about jumping?" Itachi also comes outta nowhere.

"We're testing our chakra!" Garret explains. "But Kitsune won't jump!"

"OK OK!" I stomp over to the tree.

After about 10 tries, ignoring peoples snickers, I jump to the branch I was aiming for in the first place.

EVERYONE bursts out laughing(except Itachi) at my fail attempt.

That branch was only 9 feet up.

Itachi was hiding behind his cloak, probaly snickering.

"That was fucking fail!" Hidan teases.

I let go of the branch felling my face heat up.

"Shut up!" I stomp off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What to pack... What to pack..." I mumble.

I really didn't have much, so you would think it'd be easy to pack.

It really wasn't.

I end up going around peoples rooms' taking some of their stuff.

I got some shirts from Deidara's room.  
>Some money from Kakuzu's room.<br>Some shorts from Hidan's room.  
>And some food from the kitchen!<p>

All in all, this is the total:

Shirts: 3  
>Shorts: 2<br>Jeans: 1  
>Money: 1000 yen<br>Food: About 3 days worth

The next day, I set off, trying my best to ignore the teasing.

Zetsu was leading me their, btw.

"Try not to strain your ninja-ness!"

"Let's hope you don't have to climb any trees, un!"

"All of you shut the fuck up!" I snap.

~~~(2 Days later)~~~

Zetsu and I were pretty close to Konoha.

"Just walk straight from here, *and don't get lost*..." Zetsu instructs.

"Oki doki!" I wave bye.

"Meet here again in three days," Zetsu disapears into the ground.

I walk forward, lazy slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

I clear my throat and turn to the two guys watching the village gates, "G-Good aftern-noon!"

I wave with a smile.

After more walking, I stop at Ichiraku's.

"C-Can I g-get a-a pork r-ramen, please?" I sit down timidly.

The chick who works their nods her head, and begins cooking, "What size?"

"L-Large,"

After only 5 minutes, a few familiar voices are behind me.

"KIT-CHAN!" Naruto yells, running up to me. "YOUR BACK!"

"H-Hi Naruto-kun," I flinch from his loudness. "Hey, H-Hinata, T-Tenten!"

"How did you escape from the Akatsuki?" Tenten sits next to me.

"O-One of them t-took me o-on a walk a-and I-I ran off," I come up with a cover story.

"A-A walk?" Hinata raises an eyebrow. "L-Like a dog?"

I nod slowly, then smile as my ramen gets here.

"Oh g-god! I-I'm sooo hungry!" I dig in, then with some struggle, use the chopsticks.

"Didn't they feed you at all?" Naruto growls.

"N-Not unless y-you count d-dog food..."

Naruto turns away, growling something.

I finish my ramen with a loud burp, "E-excuse me..."

"We need to take you to the hokage's office!" Tenten suddenly remembers.

"W-Why?"

"Because, you escaped the Akatsuki!"

~~~(3 days later)~~~

"G-Good bye guys!" I wave good bye to all my new friends. "Th-Thanks for seeing me off!"

"I-I'll miss y-you, Kit-chan!"

"I-I'll m-miss you t-too, H-Hinata-chan!" I run and give her a hug.

I notice the sun start to go down.

"B-bye!" I yell out to everyone, then go walking down the road.

I'd gotten some new pants! They're like Tentens, except blue.

Ino did my hair with her bang-style, and Hinata's main style.

After some ways walking, Zetsu appears in front of me.

"Hey, Zetsu!" I wave eagerly.

"You travel to slow, so we'll go my way to Sand," He explains. "Hold on tight,"

I cling to him as we go into the ground.

It's rather scary.

We quickly get to Sand, and he drops me off behind the sweets shop.

"Don't be an idiot," He says before morphing out.

"I'm not an idiot!" I look in a puddle to fix my hair. "I sleeepy..."

But first things first, I'm going to the mini forest.

I play around in the clearing, working on my chakra control until the stars come out.

"Who're you?" Temari steps out the shadows.

"I-I'm Kit," I wave timidly. "Who're y-you?"

Temari gives me a supcious look, "Temari,"

I fall back and stare at the clear sky, full of stars.

"I like your name..." I comment.

"Thanks...?"

"C-Can you take m-me to the k-kazek-kage?" I plead.

Temari nods and leads the way.

'Ha ha! Score one for Kitsune!' I mentally cheer.

~~~~~~~~

Gaara was kinda intimdating at first, but I quickly broke.

"H-Hey!" I wave. "Kazekage-sama."

I then bow as an afterthought.

"Who are you?"

"I-I'm Kit," I explain. "I've b-been traveling a-around for a b-bit and I-I'm really tired. C-Can I s-stay here for a b-bit...?"

"Why should I let you stay here?"

"B-Because I'm really s-scared... Th-The Akatsuki are a-after m-me." I sigh shuddery.

Gaara seems to hold some pity, "You may stay here, but you must be under close watch,"

"Th-Thank you, G-Gaara-sama,"

"How'd you know my name?"

"I-I heard someone s-say i-i-it?"

He lets it go and waves his hand.

Temari leads the way and shows me a boring looking room.

"Th-Thank you," I bow and walk into the room. "T-Temari-sama."

She shuts the door and I hear a click as it locks.

I lay back on the bed, exaushted.

"Chakra fail..." I mutter, falling asleep.

~~~~~~~

When I wake up, it was still dark.

I'm greeted by a pair of yellow eyes, a single blue eye, and a pair of red eyes.

In my defense, I wasn't expecting visitors.

A pillow is shoved into my face as I start screaming and thrashing.

"Baka, hm!" The voice hisses. "Shut up!"

I freeze and stare.

The pillow is moved and a few of the candles get lighted.

"..." I glare. "Way to give me a heart attack!"

"Shh!" Itachi glares back.

"I'm serious! I just about died!" I pout. "Don't sneak up on me like that..."

"Whatever," Itachi rolls his eyes. "So what have you learned about Konoha?"

"You woke me up at 3 in the morning to ask me about Konoha!" I yell-whisper.

"Yes,"

I growl in annoyance, "Konoha has a female hokage whoes fucking surprised that a damned shy-girl escaped the Akatsuki! Sakura sucks at fighting, Ino uses poisinus flowers to fight, Shikamaru uses jitsu's that controls you... Um... Shadow possesion right? Tenten is the master of weapons! Haha! Kiba has a dog he fights with, and Hinata is actually pretty strong when she fights! EXCEPT SHES SOOO SHY!"

I get shushed again as foot steps head our way.

The ninjas blend in as Kankuro and Temari burst in.

"What's going on?" Kankuro scans the room.

"I-I was h-having a n-nightmare..." I turn red in embarresment. "I'm s-sorry!"

The two nod as I lay back down, and leave the room.

Minutes pass and the akatsuki say nothing.

I let out a sigh of relief and go back to sleep.

~~~~

"Kitsune!" A voice hisses.

My eyes shoot open, my heart stops for a split second when a pair of red eyes is inches from me.

"MMMMMMMMM!"

How dare he cover my mouth.

"Are you people TRYING to stop my heart!" I hiss quietly.

"Sorry, Kitsune-chan," Tobi's childish voice rings through the air.

"Gawd, I think you guys killed me with that one..." I be dramatic.

Deidara places a hand on my chest, "Nah, your hearts still beating, un."

"Oh crap..." I rub my head. "You people are giving me a headache... Warn me next time!"

"You never finished your report," Itachi sighs.

"Neji is a bitch to people, talking about destiny this! Destiny that!"

"To loud,"

"He has a byukugan too, stays at the Hyuga compound. Shino is kinda emo and works with bugs. Choji is fat and has expansion jitsus... And dats it." I shrug.

Itachi nods and sighs.

Tobi plops down on the bed next to me, making me bounce.

I throw the covers over my head and try to go back to bed.

"Kitsune-chan?" Tobi pokes me.

"Go awaaay..." I groan. "I tired..."

Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Tobiiiiiii,"

"Kitsuuuuune,"

"Talk to me, like, tomrrow! I sleeeeeepyyyyy!"

Things go silent for a good 5 minutes.

"Finally... Some sleep," I glance around to make sure no one would give me another heart attack.

"Kitsune," Madara taps on my head impatiently.

I jump a foot in the air, not expecting the intruders, "Omg wat!"

"Shhh," He puts a finger on my lips to shush me. "Pein has a message for you,"

I sigh through my nose, "Ok, what is it?"

"Don't blow your cover, stay alive, and... how do you get your brother and your friends to shut up and go to sleep like normal people,"

"Some letter," I roll my eyes. "And has Flavia been drinking soda and energy drinks?"

"Yes,"

"Well, wash it all out with half a gallon of water, she'll throw it all up." I explain. "Then, before bed time, force some warm milk into her."

"And Momo?"

"Play some rock music for her, she'll be out like a light,"

"Garret?"

"Fill him up with food, warm milk, and if that dosen't work, just yell at him and threaten to sick me on him,"

"Great, maybe they'll finally shut the fuck up,"

"And stop sneaking up on me!"

No answer.

I let out on last sigh of relief and turn around.

I let out a yell of shock to see that dumb red eye staring at me.

I freak and fall oit the bed.

Madara chuckles and walks off. 


	6. Chapter 6

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p><strong>[AN: WOOHOO! I FOUND IT!]**

Everyone comes into my room, Momo claiming it was bigger.

We sit in a circle to play Never.

I get some drinks and hand them around.

"I've never... Kissed a guy," Tenten admits.

Momo, Ino, and Sakura take a drink.

_Sakura's such a liar..._ I lean my head Hinata's shoulder and sigh.

"What's wrong?" She whispers so it wouldn't attract attention.

Momo and Sakura start arguing over whther or not Sakura has kissed a guy.

"I-I miss my b-brother and o-other friend," I unlean on her as we continue the game.

It was Ino's turn.

"I've never... Sang in front of a live audience."

Hinata and I take a drink, Earning some stares.

"Wh-what?" I look up.

"It's odd two of the shyest people sang in front of a crowd," Sakura answers.

_Bitch, I didn't question your so-called kissing a guy!_ I mentally huff.

Next was Momo.

"I've never fallen in love with a criminal," Momo smirks at me.

I feel my face heat up as I take another drink, and everyone stared at me.

"Really?" Ino stares.

I nod.

"You? Love a criminal? That's hard to believe," Sakura rolls her eyes.

"I-I actually like two. One of which totally i-ignores me."

"oh yeah, what do they look like?" Sakura challenges.

"One's blonde with long hair. H-he has bangs o-over his left eye. H-he has icy b-blue eyes and mouths o-on the  
>palms of his h-hands." I explain patiently. "The other has green hair, and a black and white s-split f-face." I kept on forgetting to stutter!<p>

"What's there names?" Sakura challenges again.

"Zetsu and Deidara." No stutter what-so-ever.

"Yeah right, those are the dumbest names ever. You just keep your imaginary criminals in your mind so we can continue the game, ok?" Sakura rolls her eyes.

Ino and Tenten roll their eyes, then go to get us some snacks from the vending machine.

.3

Hinata follows them quickly.

Momo sensed the anger building up inside of me and quickly left the room.

"Hey, why's everyone leaving?" She whines.

I use my scary voice again, "Cause your a whiny bitch."

"You heard me, now listen up. You can't tell me who I love and do not love! You can't tell me who exist and does  
>not exist! So i suggest you shut the fuck up BEFORE I CUT YOU!"<p>

"Yeah right," Sakura rolls her eyes again.

"THAT'S IT!" A grab a knife from the kitchen and come at her faster than I thought I could go.

I stab Sakura's arm, then her stomach.

She doubles over and starts cursing quietly.

I give her a sadistic smirk, put the knife back, and put on shy girl again as people start crowding the room.

"S-Sakura-chan!" I fake gasp.

"Tell anyone about our little meeting and I'll do more than shank you," I growl so only she could hear.

"Wh-What happened?" I stare wide-eyed.

"I... I just had a little accident," Sakura mumbles.

"A little accident?" Tenten questions. "That's not so little."

Sakura just sighs, and sits down on the floor again.

"L-Lets just continue the game." I offer.

Everyone sits in a circle again, continuing the game.

This went on till dinner.

Then we went to sleep.

**~~~(The next day)~~~**

**Flavia's P.O.V**

We walk through Konoha's gates totally normal.

We wander around through Konoha, looking for Kitsune.

That's when I spot here in front of the ramen shop with Hinata, Momo, and a bandaged up Sakura.

"YAOI-CHAN!" I cheer, glomping her.

"H-Hi...?" Kitsune gives a small smile.

"Whoes she?" Hinata asks politely.

"Th-This is my other f-friend, Flavia," Kitsune explains.

Why the fuck is she stuttering?

Momo pulls me to the side to explain.

"I like your hair!" Ino points out to me.

That's when Tobi grabs Kitsune into a hug.

"KITSUNE-CHAN! I MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH!" Tobi cheers. "LETS GO HOME!"

"Whoes he?"

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

The first thought that comes to mind, "Mada-"

Tobi slings me over his back and start running off.

"TOBI WAIT!" Momo calls out. "WHERE'RE YOU GOING?"

Tobi takes me to an alley a bit far off.

"Ok, what's going on?" Tobi glares using his Madara voice.

"I narrowly avoided being prisoner by playing shy girl!" I huff crossing my arms. "And I must admit, its pretty hard."

He cocks his head slightly, "And why're you playing shy?" The Tobi voice again.

"First, your not freaking me out with the whole Madara Tobi switch... Much." I put my hands on my hips. "Second,  
>I'm making friends, staying safe, and vacationing."<p>

Madara glares, "How do you know-"

"The great Kitsune knows all!" I laugh evily. "Btw, your my new role-model!"

"How," His eye just barely twitches.

"I'm doing your whole Tobi-Madara bit, except replace Tobi with a shy girl, and Madara with an insane, violent  
>chick." I explain.<p>

"Prove it,"

I sigh, "I-I don't r-remeber h-how I-I got here. P-Please d-don't hurt m-me..." I switch voices. "Fuck off or I'll shank you bitch!" I switch back, "G-Get away!"

He nods, "You have odd acting skills."

"Thank you! Teachers say I shouldn't use it for evil." I giggle, and switch voices again. "S-So wh-what're we  
>doing n-now, M-Madara-chan...?"<p>

"We're going back to the Akatsuki base of course!" Madara goes back to Tobi.

"W-Well, let's go," I give him a sly smile. "TO THE akatsuki BASE!"

I run off, with him behind me.

Right into Itachi.

"Ugh... How LONG were you standing there!" I exclaim.

"Long enough," He rolls his eyes. "So, Tobi's your role model now? Let's see how that works out."

"What's that spose to mean!"

He just smirks and walks off.

Once back at the Akatsuki base, I was pissed.

Flavia told me the whole story of what happened when Konoha found me.

"Oh, I SEE." I glare walking up to Pein. "You didn't even want to save me or help me in any way, eh? Maybe I  
>should've told em I was a spy instead! Then told em all your damned secrets Na-Ga-To! But nnoooo, I was nice enough to not do that!"<p>

Pein just rolls his eyes.

"And I guess I won't tell you what I know," I grumble walking off.

"Kitsune." He grabs a clump of my hair and pulls me back. "Spill it,"

"Do a hear a sorry?" I pout.

"..."

"Do I see a 50 bucks?" I go for something more realistic.

He grimaces at me, but pays the money.

"Ok, Tsunade seems to have a soft spot for lost kids. Naruto is a bit naive, Sakura isn't as tough as she seems and is TOTALLY scared of me! Which is a bit of an accomplishment. Aaannd, Kakashi will soon develop a new Sharingan that allows him to send stuff to another demension! And because I can tell the future, Deidara will lose his forearm to the skill. Aaaaand, Lee and Gai are the strongest in Taijitsu. Ummm, what else? I think that's all for the time being,"

"The time being?" Pein questions.

"Well I can't avoid Konoha forver, imma visit every now and then," I shrug. "And I'm still mad at you!" I stomp off to go bug someone.

**~~~(In Konoha)~~~**

Ino runs into the hokage's office.

"Hokage-sama! Momo and Kit have been kidnapped!"

"By who?" Tsunade looks up from her paper work.

"Ummm, a guy with an orange mask, this blonde that Momo claimed looked like me, and Itachi Uchiha!" Ino explains.

Tsunade freezes.

**~~~(3 Days later)~~~**

"I'M BORED!" I yell at the lamp.

"Yelling at a lamp won't help," Zetsu points out.

**[A/N: Zetsu dosen't have the venuc fly trap thing on his head in this story!]**

"It might!" I pout.

"No. It won't." He rolls his eyes.

I start petting his hair, which was oddly soft.

"Stop," He pushes my hand away annoyed.

"What is with you people and your weird hair?"

**"Says the girl with red hair."**

"Says the guy with green hair!"

He dosn't reply.

"Well fine, I didn't wanna talk to you anyways!" I cross my arms and walk off.

What a lie, I did wanna talk to him.

**Zetsu's P.O.V**

"Well fine, I didn't wanna talk to you anyways!" Kitsune crossed her arms and stomped off.

I catch the look in her eyes as she walked off.

I sigh, she seems sad.

The following morning...

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

Pein barges into the room, flipping on the light.

Me and my friends, lay still, trying to sleep more.

"Get up," He starts shaking me.

I mumble something along the lines of "go away" and continue my sleep.

He goes onto Flavia, also shaking her.

Because she's a extremly heavy sleeper, she turns around, swinging her pillow.

I hold back snickers as the pillow attacks Pein.

Pein shakes Momo, getting a few mumbled curse words.

He sighs annoyed, then rips the blanket off the bed, "GET THE FUCK UP!"

Momo shoots up surprised, Flavia screams as she falls out the bed.

But I hold still, ignoring the cold.

"Get up, Kitsune," Pein says calmly walking over to me.

Nothing.

He wraps his arms around my chest and pulls me out the bed, "Last chance to get up the easy way,"

I let him drag me to where ever.

He sits me down on something hard and cool.

After a few seconds, COLD ASS water assaults me.

I scream out, then fail at getting out the tub.

After the third try, I flop onto the bathroom floor.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" I snap, shivering.

"To wake you up," Pein pats my sopping head. "Now then, you three girls have wake-up."

With another splash of water, Pein is gone.

"A clone...?" I stand up, and almost fall again, slipping on water.

I make my way back to my room, changing into my wake-people-up outfit.

Momo and Flavia do the same, snickering.

"Quit snickering! It's not funny!" I slap the back of both their heads.

We go to wake people up.

**Deidara's P.O.V**

I was laying in bed peacefully, when my door opens and I hear talking.

I mentally sigh and go back to sleep.

"Deidara." A voice recognized as Momo's.

Poke. Poke.

I don't answer.

"Deidara!" Then Flavia, who also pokes my face.

I just grunt annoyed.

"DEI-DA-RA!" Kitsune pulls on my hair.

"What, un?" I sit up, finally opening my eyes.

Expecting to see 2 oddly dressed girls and one with my clothes on, I was caught off-gaurd.

"Get the fuck up!" Momo complains.  
>She was wearing a black mini skirt, a red tube-half-shirt thing, and brown bunny ears and tail.<p>

Flavia was wearing a light brown half shirt with ruffles on the edges, light pink booty shorts, and a racoon tail and ears.

Kitsune's was the most surprising... She didn't seem like the person the wear that kinda stuff. She had a pale blue, lace shirt that was plenty see-through, except for where her boobs were. It cut off under her chest. She had dark blue short-shorts that kept riding up her ass. And she was wet, which might explain why her... Er...  
>Forget I started that sentence.<p>

**My P.O.V**

I pull on my shorts reapetedly, very annoyed.

I watch as Deidara's face turns pink and his eyes widen.

"Are you up?" I tap on his head.

"Ahm, yes!" He jumps back. "Why're you wet?"

"Pe-leader-sama woke me up very rudely," I huff.

"Come down to breakfast!" Momo instructs.

"Yeah, in a minute, un," Deidara mutters laying back down.

"Don't make us come back in here!" Flavia threatens.

"TO ITACHI'S ROOM!" I announce, pulling on the shorts again. "Fucking shorts! Gah!"

We bound into Itachi's room, quietly.

Itachi's P.O.V

I'm awaken by 3 annoying girls, Yelling my name over and over.

After a few seconds of this, I shoot up glaring, "WHAT?"

"Yeesh, someones not a morning person!" Momo points out.

"What're you wearing!" I was still annoyed.

"Wake-People-Up outfits!" Kitsune cheers.

"Get the fuck out!" I through some kunai at them.

They squeal and run out, failing at finding the door a few times.

Flavia peeks back in, "Oh, and come down to breakfast- EEEE!"

She slams the door back as another barrage of kunai come.

Hidan's P.O.V

Those 3 annoying brats run into my room squealing like pigs.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU-" I cut myself off noticing their outfits.

"Wakey wakey Hidan!" Kitsune bounds up to me.

"Hm,"

"Time for breakfast!" She drops her hands to her sides.

Momo's P.O.V

"Nice outfit," Hidan points out, a pervy look on his face.

Me and Flavia start snickering uncontrolably.

Hidan gropes Kitsune's boob, smirking.

Kitsune lashes out on him screaming and punching, "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! YOU OUTTA BURN IN HELL! YOU DON'T TOUCH ME UNLESS I TELL YOU TOO!"

Now me and Flavia were cracking up on the floor, rolling around and clutching our sides.

"STOP LAUGHING BEFORE I COME AFTER YOU!"

My P.O.V

One at a time, we woke members up. Getting different reactions. Lol, some were better than others!

Now time for Pein!

We stare at the guy taking up the whooole king sized bed.

"On the count of three, we jump on him!" Momo instructs.

"One, two three!" (Flavia)

The three of us dog pile on Pein, jolting him awake.

His face was PRICELESS!

I burst out laughing and fall off the bed


	7. Chapter 7

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Garrets P.O.V<p>

Heh heh.

They're trying to get us to go to bed again.

Good luck to them.

When I walk into the living room... Well, what a scene.

Kisame knocks Flavia's fourth energy drink out her hand.

Sasori holds her still as Kisame pours half a gallon of water in her mouth.

After a few seconds, Flavia holds her stomach, then barfs up water and energy drink.

"Sick!" I laugh. "Shes swimming in her own barf!"

"Shut up, Garret!" Flavia gets up and heads for her room.

Hidan follows soon after with a cup of warm milk.

I peek into the room to see Flavia chugging half the milk down and falling soundly asleep.

"One down! Two to go, un!" Deidara cheers.

Momo's P.O.V

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when Itachi and Deidara stand in front of me holding a stereo.

I hadn't slept for 2 days, being the defiant bitch I am.

They blast rock music at me, and I was out in 5 seconds flat.

No ones P.O.V

"Wow. Kitsune wasn't lying when she said she'd be out like a light," Itachi comments, shutting off the music and carrying her to the room.

Deidara plops onto the couch, watching TV.

Garret runs past him, tripping on his out stretched foot.

"DAMNIT!"

Sasori picks him up and takes Garret to his room.

"Put me down, puppet!" Garret struggles(and fails) to get away.

Sasori throws the boy on the bed and glares, "GO TO BED!"

SLAM!

The puppet master locks the door and stomps off.

"Dat hurted..." Garret mumbles.

Kitsune's P.O.V

I'd gotten used to traveling Zetsu's way.

He drops me off in the Sound village.

"Aw man, why'd I have to come here!" I whine.

"Cause it's the closest to the Rain Village, which is where the base is," Zetsu explains patiently. "*Now quit being a bitch and do your mission*"

"Don't call me a bitch,"

"Sorry," Zetsu shrugs. "*Bitch*"

He morphs out before I could reply.

I wander around the village i hated so much, looking for something to do, something to spy on.

"I AM CORNOLIO!" I yell, just to see if I'd get any attention.

Just barely.

I walk to a new part of town, "I AM THE GREAT OROCHI- BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I couldn'T even finish the sentence!

He ain't all that great.

People were staring at me now, like I was insane.

Which I probaly was.

I close my eyes and try to remember the basic area of Orochimaru's hideout from the anime.

"Ummmm, let's see here..." I talk to myself. "There were trees... Just barely... A bunch of stone, open land... And a cave..."

I look around for said description.

"...DAMNIT!" So much for that plan.

I check myself into a hotel for the night, to lazy to practice with chakra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, Kitsune~!" An unfamiliar voice teases. "Wake the fuck up!"

I open my eyes and see two pink eyes inches from me.

I scream and roll away, forgetting the fact that I was in a small bed.

Hidan laughs at me falling face first into the floor.

"Bitch face! Why the hell are you here!" I snap.

"For your report on Sunagakure," Kakuzu rolls his eyes.

"Okay, okay... Gaara is currently the kazekage, he dosen't want anything to hurt his village! He has the one-tailed Shukaku in him. Temari fights with this big ass fan! Kankuro is a puppet master, just like Sasori! How weird that there's only to people in this entire world who works with puppets... Meh. The Sand village needs a few more shops, and a little more wooded area. Using real trees. And that's all I got,"

"You talk a lot," Kakuzu points out. "Dosen't your mouth get tired?"

"Yeah, actually it does. Toss me a water bottle?"

Kakuzu tosses me a bottle from the mini fridge.

I chug it down within a minute and a half.

I toss the bottle aside and plop back down into my bed, falling back asleep.

~~~~~~

My awakening isn't pretty.

I decieded walking with my eyes half open was a good idea...

...until I busted my lip on the safe.

I roll around on the ground, holding my mouth, muffled yells nonstop with cursing.

Tobi's/Madara's P.O.V

I watch with plenty of amusement, the girl rolling on the floor.

She was yelling something along the lines of "Fuck you safe" and "My fucking lip, ow!".

I sit on the bed, waiting for her to finish.

Kitsune sits up and looks at her reflection in the safe.

"Ow... Ow... Ow..." She repeatedly kept poking the bloody gash.

Bigger than expected.

"Poking it won't help," I comment.

If you've ever wondered if you could jump 3 feet in the air while on your knees, you can.

Kitsune just did.

She whips her head my direction, her hair(as she put it) attacking her.

"What is with you people and sneaking in!" She rants. "Haven't you people ever heard of walking through the front door! I'm starting to think you really are trying to give me a heart attack!"

"Calm down, Kitsune,"

"No! I won't calm down! Cause I just busted my fucking lip on this damned safe! And I can't even use it cau-"

I throw the pillow at her to shut her up.

"Hey!" She whines, throwing it back.

"Done yet?"

Kitsune nods poutingly and sits next to me, "Ok, you can talk now, I'm done,"

"What day do you wanna train?"

Kitsune's P.O.V

I decieded to push the thoughts out of how long he's been here, and think of the question at hand.

"Hmmm..." I tap my chin. "Mondays out cause those are my free days... Tues-"

"Tuesdays and Thursdays are taken," He comments.

"...Friday?" I expect him to say that day was taken too.

"Good, good..." He mutters. "And another thing, your mission over. Pein realized that your a bit inexperienced to infiltrate Orochimaru's head quarters,"

"That's insulting!" I answer poutingly.

"You can't even jump than 10 feet."

"Yeah, well... Psh." I couldn't think of a comeback. "I can jump 9 feet!"

"Your only skill right now is acting,"

"Y-You say th-that like i-it's a bad th-thing..." I mumble, going into emo mode.

I hug my knees and stare off into space.

"Kitsune?" The Uchiha taps my head. "What's with the change in mood?"

"I got bored," I shrug.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Madara rolls his eyes. "Let's just go,"

"You gotta carry me," I defiantly say.

He slings me over his shoulder and runs off.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"I'M HOME!" I yell at the top of my lungs, busting into the base.

"Kitsune!"

My friends(and brother) hug tackle me to the ground. 


	8. Chapter 8

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>I was walking through the forest with Tobi.<p>

We were arranging plans for me to go to different villages and get more information.

"Aw man! But that's work!" I pout, whilst crossing my arms.

"It could be fun work," Madara sighs.

"Fun and work do not mix well!"

He pats my head, "You still have to do it."

"Hmph!"

"You can go to Konoha first." He offers. "You will stay in each village for 3 days."

"Only three!" I huff. "That's not much time..."

"Get over it,"

"Is Momo coming?"

"No, not this time,"

"Great," I jump up and try to reach a random tree branch.

I miss by a few feet.

I keep jumping up and down, trying to get it.

"What're you doing?"

"I can't *Jump* reach the *jump* fucking *jump* tree branch!" I snap.

"..."

-.-" He watches me try a few more times before saying, "You need training,"

"What makes you say that?" I lean tiredly on the tree.

"Not only are out of breath from jumping, but you can't even jump up to a tree branch." Madara points out.

"Hell, I don't even know if I have chakra!" I snap. "And I don't know how to check!"

"You yell to much,"

"You yell to! When your Tobi!"

"Still, your normal self yells a lot,"

"SO!" I plop down on a rock next to him.

He places a hand on my forehead, and it starts glowing.

"The hell are you doing?"

"Seeing if you have chakra,"

"And how're you doing that?"

He stop, "Because if you didn't have chakra, I couldn't take any of it,"

"Hey!" I huff.

"Relax, I didn't take much,"

"Its still messed up," I rant. "I wonder if Momo has chakra? Or Flavia! Or Garret! Probaly, cause I have it and we all came here! Tobi! Go check for me!"

He sighs annoyed, "Bring them here,"

~~~~~~~

After a quick run, with 2 breaks, I bring my two friends and brother back.

"Check them!" I order. "...Please?"

With a sigh, he starts the process, three times.

"You all have chakra!" He announces.

"Who has the most?" Flavia asks, eager.

"It's between Garret and Kitsune-chan!"

I understand now, why the Tobi voice could get annoying.

"AW MAN!" Flavia starts trying to jump up to the branch. "But I bet I'm better at using it!"

Her feet start glowing after a few tries, and she jumps 20 feet, straight up.

"Holy crap!" She grabs onto a random branch.

I glare.

"My turn! My turn!" Momo goes under the tree and jumps about 15 feet up, grabbing a branch.

Garret goes next, and after a few tries, he shoots 30 feet up, "HA HA! BEAT THAT!"

I knew this wouldn't end well.

"Bye guys, I'm gonna go pack for my mission!" I wave nervously.

"Hey wait! You didn't jump yet!" Flavia protest.

"Yeah! Yaoi-chan! Jump!" Momo adds.

Deidara and Hidan appear outta nowhere.

"What's all this hype about jumping?" Itachi also comes outta nowhere.

"We're testing our chakra!" Garret explains. "But Kitsune won't jump!"

"OK OK!" I stomp over to the tree.

After about 10 tries, ignoring peoples snickers, I jump to the branch I was aiming for in the first place.

EVERYONE bursts out laughing(except Itachi) at my fail attempt.

That branch was only 9 feet up.

Itachi was hiding behind his cloak, probaly snickering.

"That was fucking fail!" Hidan teases.

I let go of the branch felling my face heat up.

"Shut up!" I stomp off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What to pack... What to pack..." I mumble.

I really didn't have much, so you would think it'd be easy to pack.

It really wasn't.

I end up going around peoples rooms' taking some of their stuff.

I got some shirts from Deidara's room.  
>Some money from Kakuzu's room.<br>Some shorts from Hidan's room.  
>And some food from the kitchen!<p>

All in all, this is the total:

Shirts: 3  
>Shorts: 2<br>Jeans: 1  
>Money: 1000 yen<br>Food: About 3 days worth

The next day, I set off, trying my best to ignore the teasing.

Zetsu was leading me their, btw.

"Try not to strain your ninja-ness!"

"Let's hope you don't have to climb any trees, un!"

"All of you shut the fuck up!" I snap.

~~~(2 Days later)~~~

Zetsu and I were pretty close to Konoha.

"Just walk straight from here, *and don't get lost*..." Zetsu instructs.

"Oki doki!" I wave bye.

"Meet here again in three days," Zetsu disapears into the ground.

I walk forward, lazy slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

I clear my throat and turn to the two guys watching the village gates, "G-Good aftern-noon!"

I wave with a smile.

After more walking, I stop at Ichiraku's.

"C-Can I g-get a-a pork r-ramen, please?" I sit down timidly.

The chick who works their nods her head, and begins cooking, "What size?"

"L-Large,"

After only 5 minutes, a few familiar voices are behind me.

"KIT-CHAN!" Naruto yells, running up to me. "YOUR BACK!"

"H-Hi Naruto-kun," I flinch from his loudness. "Hey, H-Hinata, T-Tenten!"

"How did you escape from the Akatsuki?" Tenten sits next to me.

"O-One of them t-took me o-on a walk a-and I-I ran off," I come up with a cover story.

"A-A walk?" Hinata raises an eyebrow. "L-Like a dog?"

I nod slowly, then smile as my ramen gets here.

"Oh g-god! I-I'm sooo hungry!" I dig in, then with some struggle, use the chopsticks.

"Didn't they feed you at all?" Naruto growls.

"N-Not unless y-you count d-dog food..."

Naruto turns away, growling something.

I finish my ramen with a loud burp, "E-excuse me..."

"We need to take you to the hokage's office!" Tenten suddenly remembers.

"W-Why?"

"Because, you escaped the Akatsuki!"

~~~(3 days later)~~~

"G-Good bye guys!" I wave good bye to all my new friends. "Th-Thanks for seeing me off!"

"I-I'll miss y-you, Kit-chan!"

"I-I'll m-miss you t-too, H-Hinata-chan!" I run and give her a hug.

I notice the sun start to go down.

"B-bye!" I yell out to everyone, then go walking down the road.

I'd gotten some new pants! They're like Tentens, except blue.

Ino did my hair with her bang-style, and Hinata's main style.

After some ways walking, Zetsu appears in front of me.

"Hey, Zetsu!" I wave eagerly.

"You travel to slow, so we'll go my way to Sand," He explains. "Hold on tight,"

I cling to him as we go into the ground.

It's rather scary.

We quickly get to Sand, and he drops me off behind the sweets shop.

"Don't be an idiot," He says before morphing out.

"I'm not an idiot!" I look in a puddle to fix my hair. "I sleeepy..."

But first things first, I'm going to the mini forest.

I play around in the clearing, working on my chakra control until the stars come out.

"Who're you?" Temari steps out the shadows.

"I-I'm Kit," I wave timidly. "Who're y-you?"

Temari gives me a supcious look, "Temari,"

I fall back and stare at the clear sky, full of stars.

"I like your name..." I comment.

"Thanks...?"

"C-Can you take m-me to the k-kazek-kage?" I plead.

Temari nods and leads the way.

'Ha ha! Score one for Kitsune!' I mentally cheer.

~~~~~~~~

Gaara was kinda intimdating at first, but I quickly broke.

"H-Hey!" I wave. "Kazekage-sama."

I then bow as an afterthought.

"Who are you?"

"I-I'm Kit," I explain. "I've b-been traveling a-around for a b-bit and I-I'm really tired. C-Can I s-stay here for a b-bit...?"

"Why should I let you stay here?"

"B-Because I'm really s-scared... Th-The Akatsuki are a-after m-me." I sigh shuddery.

Gaara seems to hold some pity, "You may stay here, but you must be under close watch,"

"Th-Thank you, G-Gaara-sama,"

"How'd you know my name?"

"I-I heard someone s-say i-i-it?"

He lets it go and waves his hand.

Temari leads the way and shows me a boring looking room.

"Th-Thank you," I bow and walk into the room. "T-Temari-sama."

She shuts the door and I hear a click as it locks.

I lay back on the bed, exaushted.

"Chakra fail..." I mutter, falling asleep.

~~~~~~~

When I wake up, it was still dark.

I'm greeted by a pair of yellow eyes, a single blue eye, and a pair of red eyes.

In my defense, I wasn't expecting visitors.

A pillow is shoved into my face as I start screaming and thrashing.

"Baka, hm!" The voice hisses. "Shut up!"

I freeze and stare.

The pillow is moved and a few of the candles get lighted.

"..." I glare. "Way to give me a heart attack!"

"Shh!" Itachi glares back.

"I'm serious! I just about died!" I pout. "Don't sneak up on me like that..."

"Whatever," Itachi rolls his eyes. "So what have you learned about Konoha?"

"You woke me up at 3 in the morning to ask me about Konoha!" I yell-whisper.

"Yes,"

I growl in annoyance, "Konoha has a female hokage whoes fucking surprised that a damned shy-girl escaped the Akatsuki! Sakura sucks at fighting, Ino uses poisinus flowers to fight, Shikamaru uses jitsu's that controls you... Um... Shadow possesion right? Tenten is the master of weapons! Haha! Kiba has a dog he fights with, and Hinata is actually pretty strong when she fights! EXCEPT SHES SOOO SHY!"

I get shushed again as foot steps head our way.

The ninjas blend in as Kankuro and Temari burst in.

"What's going on?" Kankuro scans the room.

"I-I was h-having a n-nightmare..." I turn red in embarresment. "I'm s-sorry!"

The two nod as I lay back down, and leave the room.

Minutes pass and the akatsuki say nothing.

I let out a sigh of relief and go back to sleep.

~~~~

"Kitsune!" A voice hisses.

My eyes shoot open, my heart stops for a split second when a pair of red eyes is inches from me.

"MMMMMMMMM!"

How dare he cover my mouth.

"Are you people TRYING to stop my heart!" I hiss quietly.

"Sorry, Kitsune-chan," Tobi's childish voice rings through the air.

"Gawd, I think you guys killed me with that one..." I be dramatic.

Deidara places a hand on my chest, "Nah, your hearts still beating, un."

"Oh crap..." I rub my head. "You people are giving me a headache... Warn me next time!"

"You never finished your report," Itachi sighs.

"Neji is a bitch to people, talking about destiny this! Destiny that!"

"To loud,"

"He has a byukugan too, stays at the Hyuga compound. Shino is kinda emo and works with bugs. Choji is fat and has expansion jitsus... And dats it." I shrug.

Itachi nods and sighs.

Tobi plops down on the bed next to me, making me bounce.

I throw the covers over my head and try to go back to bed.

"Kitsune-chan?" Tobi pokes me.

"Go awaaay..." I groan. "I tired..."

Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Tobiiiiiii,"

"Kitsuuuuune,"

"Talk to me, like, tomrrow! I sleeeeeepyyyyy!"

Things go silent for a good 5 minutes.

"Finally... Some sleep," I glance around to make sure no one would give me another heart attack.

"Kitsune," Madara taps on my head impatiently.

I jump a foot in the air, not expecting the intruders, "Omg wat!"

"Shhh," He puts a finger on my lips to shush me. "Pein has a message for you,"

I sigh through my nose, "Ok, what is it?"

"Don't blow your cover, stay alive, and... how do you get your brother and your friends to shut up and go to sleep like normal people,"

"Some letter," I roll my eyes. "And has Flavia been drinking soda and energy drinks?"

"Yes,"

"Well, wash it all out with half a gallon of water, she'll throw it all up." I explain. "Then, before bed time, force some warm milk into her."

"And Momo?"

"Play some rock music for her, she'll be out like a light,"

"Garret?"

"Fill him up with food, warm milk, and if that dosen't work, just yell at him and threaten to sick me on him,"

"Great, maybe they'll finally shut the fuck up,"

"And stop sneaking up on me!"

No answer.

I let out on last sigh of relief and turn around.

I let out a yell of shock to see that dumb red eye staring at me.

I freak and fall oit the bed.

Madara chuckles and walks off. 


	9. Chapter 9

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Garrets P.O.V<p>

Heh heh.

They're trying to get us to go to bed again.

Good luck to them.

When I walk into the living room... Well, what a scene.

Kisame knocks Flavia's fourth energy drink out her hand.

Sasori holds her still as Kisame pours half a gallon of water in her mouth.

After a few seconds, Flavia holds her stomach, then barfs up water and energy drink.

"Sick!" I laugh. "Shes swimming in her own barf!"

"Shut up, Garret!" Flavia gets up and heads for her room.

Hidan follows soon after with a cup of warm milk.

I peek into the room to see Flavia chugging half the milk down and falling soundly asleep.

"One down! Two to go, un!" Deidara cheers.

Momo's P.O.V

I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when Itachi and Deidara stand in front of me holding a stereo.

I hadn't slept for 2 days, being the defiant bitch I am.

They blast rock music at me, and I was out in 5 seconds flat.

No ones P.O.V

"Wow. Kitsune wasn't lying when she said she'd be out like a light," Itachi comments, shutting off the music and carrying her to the room.

Deidara plops onto the couch, watching TV.

Garret runs past him, tripping on his out stretched foot.

"DAMNIT!"

Sasori picks him up and takes Garret to his room.

"Put me down, puppet!" Garret struggles(and fails) to get away.

Sasori throws the boy on the bed and glares, "GO TO BED!"

SLAM!

The puppet master locks the door and stomps off.

"Dat hurted..." Garret mumbles.

Kitsune's P.O.V

I'd gotten used to traveling Zetsu's way.

He drops me off in the Sound village.

"Aw man, why'd I have to come here!" I whine.

"Cause it's the closest to the Rain Village, which is where the base is," Zetsu explains patiently. "*Now quit being a bitch and do your mission*"

"Don't call me a bitch,"

"Sorry," Zetsu shrugs. "*Bitch*"

He morphs out before I could reply.

I wander around the village i hated so much, looking for something to do, something to spy on.

"I AM CORNOLIO!" I yell, just to see if I'd get any attention.

Just barely.

I walk to a new part of town, "I AM THE GREAT OROCHI- BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I couldn'T even finish the sentence!

He ain't all that great.

People were staring at me now, like I was insane.

Which I probaly was.

I close my eyes and try to remember the basic area of Orochimaru's hideout from the anime.

"Ummmm, let's see here..." I talk to myself. "There were trees... Just barely... A bunch of stone, open land... And a cave..."

I look around for said description.

"...DAMNIT!" So much for that plan.

I check myself into a hotel for the night, to lazy to practice with chakra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, Kitsune~!" An unfamiliar voice teases. "Wake the fuck up!"

I open my eyes and see two pink eyes inches from me.

I scream and roll away, forgetting the fact that I was in a small bed.

Hidan laughs at me falling face first into the floor.

"Bitch face! Why the hell are you here!" I snap.

"For your report on Sunagakure," Kakuzu rolls his eyes.

"Okay, okay... Gaara is currently the kazekage, he dosen't want anything to hurt his village! He has the one-tailed Shukaku in him. Temari fights with this big ass fan! Kankuro is a puppet master, just like Sasori! How weird that there's only to people in this entire world who works with puppets... Meh. The Sand village needs a few more shops, and a little more wooded area. Using real trees. And that's all I got,"

"You talk a lot," Kakuzu points out. "Dosen't your mouth get tired?"

"Yeah, actually it does. Toss me a water bottle?"

Kakuzu tosses me a bottle from the mini fridge.

I chug it down within a minute and a half.

I toss the bottle aside and plop back down into my bed, falling back asleep.

~~~~~~

My awakening isn't pretty.

I decieded walking with my eyes half open was a good idea...

...until I busted my lip on the safe.

I roll around on the ground, holding my mouth, muffled yells nonstop with cursing.

Tobi's/Madara's P.O.V

I watch with plenty of amusement, the girl rolling on the floor.

She was yelling something along the lines of "Fuck you safe" and "My fucking lip, ow!".

I sit on the bed, waiting for her to finish.

Kitsune sits up and looks at her reflection in the safe.

"Ow... Ow... Ow..." She repeatedly kept poking the bloody gash.

Bigger than expected.

"Poking it won't help," I comment.

If you've ever wondered if you could jump 3 feet in the air while on your knees, you can.

Kitsune just did.

She whips her head my direction, her hair(as she put it) attacking her.

"What is with you people and sneaking in!" She rants. "Haven't you people ever heard of walking through the front door! I'm starting to think you really are trying to give me a heart attack!"

"Calm down, Kitsune,"

"No! I won't calm down! Cause I just busted my fucking lip on this damned safe! And I can't even use it cau-"

I throw the pillow at her to shut her up.

"Hey!" She whines, throwing it back.

"Done yet?"

Kitsune nods poutingly and sits next to me, "Ok, you can talk now, I'm done,"

"What day do you wanna train?"

Kitsune's P.O.V

I decieded to push the thoughts out of how long he's been here, and think of the question at hand.

"Hmmm..." I tap my chin. "Mondays out cause those are my free days... Tues-"

"Tuesdays and Thursdays are taken," He comments.

"...Friday?" I expect him to say that day was taken too.

"Good, good..." He mutters. "And another thing, your mission over. Pein realized that your a bit inexperienced to infiltrate Orochimaru's head quarters,"

"That's insulting!" I answer poutingly.

"You can't even jump than 10 feet."

"Yeah, well... Psh." I couldn't think of a comeback. "I can jump 9 feet!"

"Your only skill right now is acting,"

"Y-You say th-that like i-it's a bad th-thing..." I mumble, going into emo mode.

I hug my knees and stare off into space.

"Kitsune?" The Uchiha taps my head. "What's with the change in mood?"

"I got bored," I shrug.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..." Madara rolls his eyes. "Let's just go,"

"You gotta carry me," I defiantly say.

He slings me over his shoulder and runs off.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

"I'M HOME!" I yell at the top of my lungs, busting into the base.

"Kitsune!"

My friends(and brother) hug tackle me to the ground.


	10. Chapter 10

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Flavia's P.O.V<p>

Me, Momo, Konan, Tobi, Hidan, and Sasori were standing outside of Deidara's door in full shock.

"There's no way you can do that, un,"

"Whaddya mean? I can so do it!" Kitsune snaps.

"Yeah right,"

"I can!"

"You cannot fit the whole thing in your mouth, un!"

"Oh yeah? Watch me!"

"..."

"Mmf!"

"Mmmm~! I guess you can, un!"

"Mm-hm!"

"But just barely, un."

"..."

"Ah!"

Me, Konan, and Momo stare at the door blushing

We gotta open this door.

Kitsune's P.O.V

"There's no way you can do that, un," Deidara raises his eyebrow.

I cross my arms defiantly, "Whaddya mean! I can so do it!"

"Yeah right," Deidara holds up 20 bucks.

"I can!"

"You cannot fit the whole thing in your mouth, un!"

"Oh yeah? Watch me!" I shove the entire dango ball into my mouth.

Now this dango ball was the size of mine and Deidara's fist put together.

Which is pretty big.

I can fit this in my mouth, but not my fist.

"Mmf~!" I pump my fist in a cheering motion.

"Mmm, I guess you can, un,"

"Mm-hmm!"

"But just barely, un,"

I glare and punch his shoulder hard.

"Ah!" He backs away and rubs his arm.

Sasori, Momo, Flavia, Konan, and Hidan burst in the room wide-eyed, the females blushing.

"What the HELL is going on in here?" Konan stares.

"Mm, mmm! Nn wha oo ink!" I huff, having problems with getting the dango ball out my mouth.

"Turns out Kitsune can fit a huge dango ball in her mouth, un." Deidara shoves the money and my pocket and stares supiciously. "What'd you THINK was happening?"

"Ah-ha-ha-ha..." Momo laughs nervously. "Umm, n-nothing.. Uh..."

Deidara rolls his eyes.

"I-ara! Elk! I shuck!" I wave my hands frantically to get his attention.

"Wooow," He rolls his eye(s?). "Swallow it,"

"I Ooo ig!"

"Told you, un,"

"I-ara!"

"Ok, ok un!" Deidara tilts my head back.

"I don't think I wanna know how he'll get that thing out..." Sasori mutters, leaving.

The others follow as Dei scoops a piece out.

My mouth hurts...

Zetsu looks in curious, "**What the hell were you thinking**? A giant piece of dango? Really? Your gonna break her jaw,"

"Hey! It was her idea, un. I didn't think she'd eat it whole..." Deidara tries to close my mouth, to no avail. "Zetsu, help me out here, un,"

Zetsu rolls his eyes, but comes help with my rescue.

After about 30 minutes, they got all the dango out.

"My moth is shoooooo sowre!" I announce. "...Ah shwit..."

The two guys snigger, then rush out the room to avoid my wrath.

"Nwevah agin..." I pout.

~~~~~~~~

I head to dinner and keep my mouth shut.

Harder to talk, it got work.

"I wait I liwfe."

Translation: I hate my life.

I massage my jaw, and dig into the ramen.

"You people have got some dirty minds, un!"

"Sorry! It just sounded wrong!" Flava pouts.

"I will on't et wha Ooo ot..." I mutter.

Trans: I still don't get what you thought.

Sasori rolls his eyes and shoves a piece of wasabi in my mouth.

...

"OT! OT!" I spit the food out and glare at the puppet, the effect ruined from me fanning my mouth. "Itch."

"Itch?" Sasori teases.

"Oo kno wha I men,"

"What's wrong with your speech?" Pein questions.

"She shoved a big ball of dango in her mouth, it did something," Zetsu gives the short version.

"Dumbass." Pein sighs.

"It's probaly just swollen," Konan gets some ice out the fridge. "Put this in your mouth,"

I do so and listen to the conversation.

And then...

"Ok, everyone I have an announcement," Pein says.

My swelling went down! Haha! Thanks Konan!

"GIMME BACK MY ICE CREAM!" Flavia snaps.

"Ok ok!" Garret gives her the ice cream back.

"Hmph,"

"You guys done?" Pein rolls his eyes.

The two nod.

"As I was saying-"

"Hey Hidan! I just remembered something!" I announce.

"What?" Hidan mumbles.

"You piss me off!"

"Fuck you!" Hidan.

"You wish you could!" Me.

"You wish I wish I would!"

"Think what you wanna thnk, but it's not gonna happen!"

"SHUT UP!" Pein snaps.

"Sorry..." I mumble.

"Anyways, I'd like to welcome our 4 new members," Pein finishes.

Kisame spits out his drink, "WHAT!"

"Hahaha! You know you love us!" Flavia teases.

"And Tobi is going to train the four new members," Pein adds.

Momo does her spit take, "WHAT!"

I laugh my ass of at the fact that Itachi was in the way of her spt take.

He glares at my friend.

"Sorry Itachi!" She sniggers.

"Training starts tomorrow," Pein concludes his announcement. "You can go back to being dumbasses now,"

"I AM CORNOLIO!" I stand up on my chair.

"FWAAAAAA!" Garret stands up on his.

"AAAAAAADVENTURE TIME!" Flavia jumps up on her chair.

"REGULAR SHOW!" Momo stands up.

"It's anything but!" Us other three add.

"Yaoi-chan, your so unglompable," Momo comments.

"Whaddya mean? I'm TOTALLY glompable!" I huff.

"Riiight, not even Tobi has glomped you. Your unglompable."

"He's glomped me before!"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"When?"

"Yesterday. The day before. Last week." I list.

"Suure,"

"I'm serious!"

"Put a banana in your ear!" Flavia sings.

"A banana. In my ear?" Garret comments.

"Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear! It's true!"

"Says who?"

"So true! That all your fears will disapear! The bad of the world is hardly here! When in your ear a banana cheers, so c'mon put a banana in your ear!" Flavia bows, being all dramatic.

I throw Itachi's ice cream in her face.

This recieves a glare from both of them.

The two stand up, ready to rip my head off.

"HELP!" I grab onto Pein's cloak and hide behind him.

"How?" He rolls his eyes.

"I don't know, your the leader! Lead or something!"

"..."

"..." I get up like nothing happened. "Sooo, when does training start?"

"Tomorrow,"

"But that's MY DAY." I whine. "I don't wanna go first!"

"Get over it(un)," The whoooole table comments.

"Hmph." I grab a frying pan and walk off.

"Hey! Where're you going with my frying pan?" Konan complains.

"It's my art! Better than Deidara's!" I tease.

"That's art, un?"

"Yep,"

"Yeah right,"

"Psh, well its better than yours!"

"No way,"

"Yes way! My art could kick your arts ass!" I toss the pan on the ground.

"Shut up, un!"

A glop of clay lands in my pan, he does his little handsigns.

"Everyone hit the deck!" Flavia shouts, hiding under the table.

Other goofballs follow suit, while the others simply poof out the room.

"KATSU!":

"AHHHH!" I dive into the cabnet.

I wait until I hear Deidara's triumphant laugh.

I crawl out smirking.

"Have you both lost your mind!" Konan screams, coming out from under the table.

"Maaaybe..." I turn to Deidara. "My art won."

"No it didn't it didn't do anything, un!"

"Yes, but your art made it awesomer," I tease.

"You USED my art, un!"

"Yeeaaahhh," I pick up my pan, the immdeiatly throw it up, yelling stuff about it being hot.

THUNK!

Betrayed by my own weapon.

I fall to the ground and pass out.

Garret's P.O.V

"Fail," I comemnt.

"Ultra fail!" Momo laughs, poking her unconcious friend.

Deidara cracks up, "Clumsy ass bitch, un!"

Pein dumps ice cold water on Kitsune, making her rocket to her feet, rubbing her head.

She picks her pan up more carefully this time, and triumphantly weilds it.

"Haha! Just as I planned!" She triumphs.

"Sure it was," Sasori rolls his eyes.

"So you also planned getting knocked out and burning your hand?" Tobi acts like he's in awe. "Woow, what skills!"

"Ah, shut up," Kitsune pouts. "I don't need your sarcasm,"

"Your an idiot," Pein checks out the burns on my hand.

"I am not!"

"Do you really wanna start this again?" Pein raises his eyebrow.

"...no..." Kitsune mumbles. "Ohh Hidaaan..."

Kitsune walks up to the clueless albino with the frying pan behind her back.

"What bitch?" Hidan glances at her.

THUNK!

Kitsune hits him where the sun don't shine.

"That's gotta hurt..." I mumble.

"Score 3 for the girls!" I pump my fist in the air.

"What was score one and two?" Itachi asks.

"Tricking Deidara and blackmailing Garret."

"Of course... How many points do we have?"

Kitsune pauses and does the math, "Hmm, lets see... The time you captured me plus... Pe-Leader-sama torturing me... Itachi punching Flavia in the boob... The grand total is 6!"

"Wooow." Momo rolls her eyes. "We're 3 down,"

"Deidara! Look what you did to my kitchen!" Konan punches the blonde upside the head.

I laugh quietly at the male blonde, LOSING.

"Haha! 4 Points for girl!" Kitsune writes the score down on a dry erase board. 


	11. Date

** do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>My friends were wishing me luck with my training.<p>

"When I shall come back, I will know a kick ass jitsu!" I promise.

"Yeah right, un." Deidara comments.

"You can't even jump," Itachi adds.

"Shut up!" I huff. "Lets make it a bet! Losers have to do a dare of the winners choice!"

"Deal!" Deidara spits on his hand and holds it out to me.

Itachi copies that action.

I spit on both my hands and shake hands with the two.

"Lets do this!" I run out the room.

The training grounds had a small little lake, and a bunch of trees.

There were a bunch of broken weapons on the ground.

"Tooobiiii," I call out bored. "...Madaraaaaaa..."

"What?" Tobi jumps out the tree.

"Teach me a kick ass jitsu!" I command.

"You can't even jump, how can I teach you a jitsu?" Tobi comments.

I glare, "Stop. Mentioning. It."

Tobi chuckles at my reaction, "You first must learn chakra control,"

~~~~~

So we did the whole training thing, I learned all the handsigns, I learned how to SORT OF control my chakra, and now Tobi's saying trainings over.

"But you didn't teach me my jitsu!" I huff. "I don't wanna lose my bet!"

"You still can't jump," He adds.

"SHUT UP!" I snap.

I think for a minute.

Handsigns.

Nothing.

Super pose.

Handsigns.

Still nothing.

I yell in frustration, Tobi watching from a safe distance.

"What did Naruto do?" I talk to myself. "Didn't he like, bite his thumb?"

I try that, getting no blood AND jumping around like a little kid cursing like Hidan.

"Gotta be strong... Gotta win this bet.." I mumble.

I try again, drawing blood, then quickly do the handsigns(getting blood all over my hands in the process).

Nothing.

"FUCK YOU FUCKING JITSU! HOW DARE YOU NOT FUCKING WORK! I SWEAR TO JASHIN IF YOU DON'T WORK I WILL FUCKING BITCH SLAP YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" I snap.

I bite my thumb a bit to hard, and make a finger-gun.

With a poof, I end up with a gun and knife strapped to my left thigh.

On my right thigh is a spot for my gun to go.

"Fuck yeah!" I cheer.

"What is that?" Tobi questions.

"Its a gun," I explain. "A weapon from my world."

"So you can summon a weapon from another world... But you can't jump?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I whip around and shoot at the Uchiha.

He falls backwards out the tree, yelling out in surprise.

I raise my eyebrow, "What was that? Can't you, like, dodge it?"

Tobi glares at me.

"Oh and, sorry for shooting you," I mumble.

I then notice my thumb still bleeding.

"Tobi!" I whine. "My thumb won't stop bleeding!"

~~~~

I walk into the living room with my ultra smug face on.

"What's with the look?" Sasori glances at me.

"I AM ULTRA BEAST!" I yell. "ITACHI! DEIDARA!"

"What?" Itachi sits up and stretches. "Come to lose your bet?"

"Actually, i DID learn a kick ass jitsu!" I mock.

"Sure you did, un," Deidara rolls his eyes.

"Ok Tobi, what's Kitsune's great jitsu?" Pein rolls his eyes.

I stand in front of everyone, bite my other thumb, and make my finger gun.

"Take that, bitches!" I tease.

"What is it?" Pein questions.

"A gun, weapon from my world," I explain. "Very hard to dodge, very deadly."

"Test it on Hidan,"

I aim at the albino and pull the trigger.

And ear ringing bang goes off, a hole in the albino's chest.

"It works!" I cheer. "Time to pay up!"

Itachi and Deidara get a gloomy aura.

"Hmm... what should this dare be..." I mutter to myself.

"I've got one!" Momo bounces in.

"Hm?"

"Ok, Deidara and Itachi.."

"Yeeahh?"

"Must go on a date with us."

"Hold on a sec," I sip a mouthful of water and spit it out. "Are you kidding me!"

"Nope."

"B-But... fine... I have no other ideas..."

The two guys sigh and roll there eyes,

"Where to, hm?"

"Uh..." I pause to think.

"We're going to Waterfall Village! I love it there!" Momo announces.

"O...k..?"

"Go get ready," Itachi instructs.

"Yeah yeah yeah," I pull Momo upstairs to Konan's room.

"Hey guys," Konan waves.

"Hey Konan-chan! Can we borrow some dresses?" Momo pleads. "For our date?"

"With who?" Konan raises her eyebrows surprised.

"Deidara and Itachi."

"Um... ok.?

Konan looks us over, then disapears into her closet.

"Hey, Konan-chan!" I chime. "What're your thoughts on yaoi?"

"Never seen it."

"WHAT!"

"Why're you screaming?" Konan comes out with a dress in each hand.

"Sit!" I force her to sit on the bed, crawl under her bed, and pull out my favorite yaoi.

"WHy is ther... yaoi under my bed?" Konan questions.

"Just watch this while we get dressed!" I pop the DVD on and press play.

* * *

><p>"Watcha doin?" Flavia peeks in.<p>

Konan was all about leaning up against the screen, watching the clip.

I giggle at her expression as it ends.

"That was so..." Konan turns to us. "HOT!"

"Ohhh?" I tease. "Has Konan been hooked onto yaoi?"

"Sh-Shut up!" Konan blushes.

"Just admit it! Your becoming one of us!" Momo teases.

"I-I am not! I'm much to mature... To be... Hooked onto your... Childish... hobbies?" Konan looks unsteady.

The 3 of us stare intesnly at her.

"Oh what the hell, fine! I'll become one of you!" Konan smiles.

"Woohoo! Welcome Konan-chan!" Flavia cheers.

"Now for initiation!" I announce.

"Initiation?" Konan cocks her head.

"Mmhmm..." Momo taps her chin. "You need a kick ass skill, a super awesome talent, a cool everyday skill, a catch phrase, and pass a secret test we will deciede on..."

Konan sips her drink, "I guess my kick ass skill is being a paper ninja,"

"Of course," Momo smirks.

"My super awesome talent is singing,"

"Haha, unexpected," Flavia giggles.

"A cool everyday skill is cooking..."

"Konan's cooking is the bomb!" I cheer. "Catch phrase?"

I massage my thumb.

"Your an idiot." Konan rolls her eyes.

"Evil!" I pout. "But a good catch phrase,"

"So what"s the secret test?" Konan questions.

"Hmmm... We should have her kiss Pein!" Momo offers.

Konan does a spit take at this idea.

"Nah... That's to simple," Flavia waves her hand.

"Hmm, fake her death?" Momo again.

"No way, Pein'd kill us," I smack her head.

"Oh yeah..."

"Strip dance?" (Flavia)

"Teasing Pein?" (Me)

"Cross dressing?" (Momo)

"Slave?" (Flavia)

"Playing Mistress?" (Momo)

"Oooh! I know!" I announce. "Go get us Pein's porn stash! Only get the guy on guy ones!"

Konan chokes on an ice cube, "Pein has a *koff koff* porn stash?"

"Yep," I nod. "That's where I got the first one, but I couldn't carry more than one,"

"Oh, and get Kisame's too!" Flavia adds. "But you absolutely CAN NOT get caught!"

Konan nods, "Is it really worth it..? ...Yeah. You guys are entertaining,"

"Woohoo!" I cheer.

Don't judge, yaoi and gay porn is the same.

"OMG! Our dates!" Momo suddenly remembers.

"Oh yeahh..." I mutter.

I had on a red, sparkly dress that stopped a little below the waist, black leggings under it. Red heels, I could barely walk in.

I take off the heels and replace them with red ninja shoes.

Konan just rolls her eyes and walks out the room.

Momo had on a dark green dress, also sparkly, that went down to her knees. No leggings and green heels.

"Finally, someone with a good sense of style," Momo comments.

Me and Momo rush downstairs to find our "dates" watching TV.

"Let's go!"

"What happened, hm?" Deidara asks.

I pull my hair into a ponytail, ignoring the question.

"Let's go!" Momo leads the way,

* * *

><p>We sat in a restraunt that sold sushi.<p>

I could just imagine what was going on in Momo's mind...

I bet it was: Hottie... omg... so hot... yummy... hotty...

I sigh and stare down at the table.

"How may I help you?" This waitress with a huge bust comes over.

I catch her eying MY Deidara.

I-I mean...

I glare, "Mhm, can I get a Titanic roll?"

"Uh... huh..." She scribbles it down, not taking her eyes off Deidara.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I growl.

The waitress finally takes her eyes off the blonde to glare back at me, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Ahh, Kitsune, un?" Deidara gives me a funny look.

I shoot to my feet, only a few inches shorter than the waitress.

"I don't think I like your additude," The waitress growls.

"I KNOW I don't like you." I shoot back. "Back up off of MY BLONDIE."

"Your blondie?"

"Your?" Momo mutters.

"Yeah, my blondie." I ignore Momo's comment.

"Ha! You wish!" The waitress laughs.

I turn red and grab hold of her hair, "My blondie you son of a dick sucker!"

She turns twice as red, grabs my hair, and screams back, "Burn in hell!"

"Get a life you good for nothing, dick sucking, donkey raping, horse ass bitch!"

She freezes as tears come to her eyes, "H-Heartless much?"

"Mmmm, just get your eyes of my man," I scoff.

She takes our orders and trudges off.

I take my seat and avoid ANY eye contact.

"Your blondie, un?" Deidara teases.

"Shut up!"

"Aww, you know you love me, un."

"Shut up! I was in the moment!"

"Suuure."

The food is set down by a different waiter.

"FOooooood." I moan.

Deidara suddenly pulls my food away.

"Hey!"

"ADmit it, hm."

"Admit what?"

He reaches out for my food.

"Don't touch it!"

"I'm gonna touch it, un!"

"Don't!"

"I will,"

"Nooooooo!"

Momo's P.O.V

It's fun watching Deidara mess with Kitsune.

Itachi motions to me with his head.

I stare as he motions for me to follow him.

I nod and quietly get up, following him.

Once we're outside he says, "Let's leave those two idiots to themselves."

"_Blonde _idiots," I correct..

"What's the difference?"

"Blonde's are dumber than most idiots."

**[A/N: No offense to any blonde's]**

We walk through town, ending up at the lake.

"It's so prettiful..." I coo.

Itachi chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

"I guess this wasn't so bad..." Itachi mutters.

"For us. Not to sure about the blonde's."

"Must you always _try _to be right? Emphasis on try."

Kitsune's P.O.V

"Noo! Deidara!" I whine. "You already touched it! Don't eat it!"

"I'm gonna eat it, un!"

"Nooooooooooo!"

He laughs and puts it up to his mouth.

"Deidara!" I reach out and grab his arm, keeping him from eating it.

He pops it into his mouth.

"Deidara!"

"Yeah?"

"My food..."

"Don't worry, I'll get you some more food..." He chuckles.


	12. Hey there KONAN!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>We were sitting in our room, thinking up a name for Konan.<p>

"Ok... Anime related names..." Momo mumbles.

"Tentacles?" Flavia offers.

"No way, that names reserved for Garret," I complain.

"Konata?" Momo smirks.

"Ok, thats being written on the list," I write it down.

We go through many many names, only 6 of them being written down.

"So, the finalist are: Konata, Blue, Bonnie, Smutt, Icha, and Rape," I announce.

"Lets try it out!" Flavia claps. "Hey Smutt-chan, watcha doin?"

"Rape-chan! Help!" Momo laughs.

"Icha-chan, how's it going?" I try one out.

"Blue-chan! She hit me!" Flavia shakes her head.

"Bonnie-chan! It's a dog name!" Momo teases.

"Konata-chan, what up!" I wave.

"Hmmm... It's between Smutt and Rape..." Flavia mumbles.

Konan bursts into the room with a sack.

She quickly slams the door and locks it, then does some handsigns.

"There... Sound proof." Konan mumbles.

"So Konan-chan, which name do you like better?" I shoot up to my feet. "Smutt-chan or Rape-chan?"

"And those are choices because?" Konan raises her eyebrow.

"Because they go with Yaoi, Yuri, and Hentai,"

"Hmm... I guess... Rape-chan..." Konan blushes. "How often... Would you call me that?"

"When things aren't so serious, or we're having a meeting," Flavia answers.

"Oh ok," Konan shrugs. "And heres your porn,"

She dumps the sack out on the bed.

"I CALL FIRST DIBS!" I shout, diving into the pile.

"Hey look! These are all from different animes!" Momo notices.

"KYAAAAA!" Flavia cheers. "IT'S SASODEI!"

"Wow..." Momo marvels at the pile. "So much yaoi... So many pairings... So much anime,"

"Ok, now that it's all split up, find a good place to hide it," Flavia instructs. "Hey Rape-chan, you can borrow any of ours at any time,"

"Haha, thanks," Konan blushes and smiles sheepishly. "That name's gonna take some getting used to,"

"You know Tobi's secret... Right Rape-chan?" I cock my head to the side.

Konan nods slowly.

"Oh good, we have our own little secret then!" I chuckle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I might've pushed my luck to far this time... Shit.

"YEAH YOU BETTER RUN YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Hidan screams.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" I scream twice as loud. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

I said a few things... he said a few things... i said some very bad things... we cussed each other out... and now this is happening.

I start running up the stairs, but trip and fall back down.

That just distracts Hidan, so now he;s rolling on the floor laughing his ass off.

"Yeah yeah,. laugh it up unicorn." I grumble, going up the stairs more slower this time.

I run up the steps, stop for a quick break to catch my breath, and continue up to my room.

"Oh gawd.." I start breathing super heavy. "So many stairs!"

I lean on the wall and close my eyes to rest real quick.

Tobi/Madara's P.O.V

Me and Deidara were walking down to hall when we see Kitsune... Sleeping on the wall.

"Fuck joo..." She mumbles, turning over.

She falls to the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR!" She screams, snapping awake.

"ACTUALLY, un. You did it yourself," Deidara corrects.

"Hm..." Kitsune rubs her head. "What time is it?"

"3:00"

~~~(2 Days later)~~~

Momo's P.O.V

I walk onto the training grounds, hands on my hips, looking for Tobi.

"Nice place," I aprove. "Ya know, other than the weapons all over the ground,"

"Hey Momo-chan!" Tobi hops in front of me. "Ready to train!"

Why am I being trained by a high 6 year old trapped in a guys body?

"Yeah, sure," I shrug. "But if we're gonna train, you've gotta teach me an awesome jitsu so Yaoi-chan dosen't pass me up!"

"Well, what do you wanna learn? You've already got your chakra control down pretty good!"

"Not pretty good, VERY good! I've been practicing!" I gloat.

He's Tobi, he won't care.

"Oh really?" Tobi teases. "I bet your not better than Tobi!"

"Uh-huh!" I pout.

"Well if you wanna learn an awesome jitsu, you've gotta know your element!" Tobi explains.

"And how would I do that?" Hands on my hip again.

Tobi pushes a small piece of paper into my hand, then closes said hand into a fist.

"Now you must focus, Momo-chan!"

I focus on the paper... Then my mind starts to wander.

I start to think back when my stepdad tryed to kill me by burning down the house.

That's when I started living with Flavia... It's... Hard to live with Kitsune.

I clench my fist even tighter, then quickly pop my eyes open.

I open my hand, and that piece of paper turned to ASH.

"Woah... Tobi! What happened to my paper!" I shake my hand to get the ash off.

"It told you your element, it's fire!" Tobi announces.

"Hmm... That explains it..."

"Explains what?"

"It's just... I've had a lot of problems with fire... I don't wanna talk about it," I shrug. "NOW TEACH ME A FIRE JITSU!"

"Ok ok!" Tobi holds his hands up defensivly.

He shows me the handsigns.

"No, your thumb goes here and your middle finger goes here!" Tobi fixes my single handsign.

~~~~

"Ok... Now I get it!" I announce.

I do the hand signs and take a deep breath, "Fire style, Fire ball jitsu!"

It feels kinda... Weird... To have fire spewing out your mouth.

"Fuck!" I hold my hand. "Oww, I burned my hand..."

"Great job, Momo-chan! You've got it down!" Tobi praises.

"Woohoo! Yay! Thanks Tobi!" I hug the masked boy, then dash off to the base.

~~~~~~~~

"Haha! I learned a jitsu!" I cheer.

"Which one?" Kitsune looks up from her book.

"Your reading a book?" Flavia questions.

"I learned Fireball jitsu!" I explain. "And it took FOREVER to learn the handsigns!"

"Kewwwlllll... Do it!" Kitsune claps.

"...In the living room?"

"Yeah," 


	13. Garret's trainingshort

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Garret's P.O.V<p>

"Hey Tobi! Let's get this thing started!" I call out. "I need to learn an awesome jitsu!"

"All of you guys wanna learn a jitsu?" Madara sighs. "How annoying,"

"I heard that."

"Heard what, Garret-chan?" Tobi teases.

"I'm not a girl!" I glare. "And drop the act, I know your Madara. I'm sure Kitsune does too,"

Madara glares back, "You two are some intresting kids. How did you learn such information,"

"Well, in our world, this place is a anime that we watch. It also comes as a manga you can read. Kitsune is a total Narutard and is caught up on the show. She's constantly ranting about it, good and bad," I explain. "Her most recent rant is about you and Konan."

"And what was this rant about?"

"Well, I recorded it. So here ya go," I press play on my Ipod touch.

*SON OF A BITCH KISHIMOTO! HOW DARE YOU! YOU KILLED OFF KONAN! SHE'S ONE OF THE FEW KICK ASS KUNOICHI! SO YOU KILL HER OFF FOR THAT! SCREW YOU! I HOPE JASHIN SAMA FUCKS KISHIMOTO UNTIL HE'S DEAD! SPIRIT RAPE HIM! RAAAAHH*

Theres a loud crash from the phone, because Kitsune knocked over a vase with a watermelon.

*AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVER TO BARELY SHOW MADARA'S FACE! A MASK DOES NOT STAY ON LIKE THAT! AND YOU KILLED KONAN! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND! STOP CENTERING EVERYTHING AROUND THE UCHIHA'S!

Momo: *walks in* Yaoi-chan! Calm down!

Kitsune: No! Cause Kishimoto killed off Konan!

Momo: WHAT! HE DID WHAT!

Kitsune: AND MA-

Momo: NO SPOILERS! LALALALALALALA! I CAN'T HERE YOU!*

"And that there is a glimpse into my everyday life," I tuck the ipod away safely. "Surronded by 3, screaming fangirls."

"First off, that's just sad." Madara comments. "Second, who is Kishimoto?"

"Masashi Kishimoto is the creator of Naruto," I cross my arms. "Now let's get this training started!"

~~~~~~

I was focused on this paper, trying to figure out my element.

After a few minutes, I take a look and the paper turned to dirt!

"This world will forever amaze me!" I chuckle.

"So, your elemant is earth..." Madara ponders. "I wonder what the other two are..."

"The other ones are lightning, water and wind right?" I ponder. "Either way, the girls are gonna try to attack each other with their elements..."

"Are you serious?" Madara sighs. "It's a wonder how they're so close to each other,"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hahah, that's fun," I laugh. "Kitsune's gonna be jeeeaaaalous,"

I do the handsigns and dive under ground, headed towards the base.

~~~~~

When I burst through the ground, Kitsune screams and falls back.

"HAHAHAHA!" I fall back laughing.

"Why you little!" Kitsune jumps at me.

I simply fall back into the ground.

Kitsune pouts at the fact she couldn't get to me. 


	14. Best friends no more

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Flavia's P.O.V<p>

I bounce onto the training grounds, tripping on a rock and falling into the ground.

Tobi picks me back up, "You ok, Flavi-chan?"

"Yeah!" I smile widely at the guy. "Let's train! I wanna know my element so I can kick Kitsune's ass!"

"Tobi thought Kitsune was Flavi-chan's friend?"

"She is, but she through a pie at me," I shrug. "Ooohhhhh, I hope my element's water! Waters so awesome and- heeey, what's that?"

Tobi pushes a small piece of paper into my hand, "You need to focus, Flavii-chan! No talking!"

I nod, close my eyes, make my hand a fistt, and focus.

After awhile, I stare at the now wet piece of paper.

"HAHA! YEAH! I GOT WATER!" I dance around like an idiot. "Now I can kick Momo's ass!"

"But you can't kick Kitsune's ass, cause water helps lightning," Tobi explains.

"SINCE WHEN IS SHE LIGHTNING!" I exclaim.

"Flashback time!" Tobi announces. "Tobi was in his room when Kitsune barged in looking pissed!"

/"Tobi!" She yelled. "Why're you giving everyone an elemant except me!"

"You didn't ask," Tobi shrugged.

"Th-Then tell me mine!" Kitsune demanded.

Tobi shrugged and gave her a piece of paper.

She calmed down and focused, then after awhile, her paper was crumpled.

"Your element is lightning," Tobi told her.

"Haha! Yes! I'll be better than Kakashi!" She cheered. "Imma be... the Akatsuki's Red Flash!"

"Weird..."/

"wow..." I pout. "No fair... Garret beats me too..."

"Win some, lose some." Tobi shrugs.

"Well... LETS GET TRAINING!"

~~~~~~~~~~

I bound into the living room, which was on the verge of being destroyed.

"FUCK YOU!" Momo screams at Kitsune.

The two were fuming.

"SHUT UP! YOU WISH YOU WERE BETTER THAN ME!" Kitsune screams back. "WITH OUT ME, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE ALIVE!"

"SHUT UP!"

"MAYBE I SHOULD'VE JUST LET YOU BURN IN THAT FUCKING HOUSE!"

"FUCK YOU, KITSUNE!" Momo does some handsigns. "FIRE STYLE FIRE PALM JITSU!"

A ball of fire forms in her hand.

"Nooooo stop destroying the living room!" Konan whines.

Kitsune does some handsigns of her own, "LIGHTNING STYLE: LIGHTNING FIST!"

A ball of lightning forms in her hand, much bigger than the Chidori.

The two run at each other, in a very Naru-Sasu way.

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT!" I scream, doing my handsigns. "WATER STYLE: TSUNAMI!"

A wave of water comes from many different places of the base.

It stops both their jitsu's, forcing them to tread water to the nearest floating furniture.

"What the hell is going on!" Pein snaps. "Why is my living room underwater,"

"Die bitch! I hate you!" Momo starts trying to drown Kitsune.

"I hate you more!" Kitsune tackles Momo underwater.

"Drop dead already!" Momo starts kicking Kitsune in the stomach over and over again.

Kitsune struggles to crawl away.

They were on the kitchen table, btw... It floated in here.

"You."

Kick.

"Stupid!"

Kick.

"Good for nothing!"

Kick Kick.

"Orphan!"

Kick.

"BURN IN FUCKING HELL!"

Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp.

I was to stunned to do anything, they NEVER fought.

Kitsune curls into a little ball and starts crying, coughing up blood.

"Fuck you," Momo hisses, kicking her some more.

"Momo, that's enough, un!" Deidara picks said girl up and throws her into the water.

Momo grabs the first sharp thing she could see, 8 years of pain and hate, all being taken out on one girl.

"IMMA FUCKING KILL YOU KITSUNE!" Momo screams, hopping from pieces of furniture to get to Kitsune.

"Deidara... Wait..." Itachi steps in. "Let them prove themselves,"

"To who, un?"

No answer.

Kitsune gets onto her knees, aware of the death threat hanging in the air.

Momo comes at her, slashing like a madman, laughing like a maniac.

Her eyes were literally swirling.

"What's wrong with Momo's eyes...?" I whisper, literally shaking.

Sasori stares, "I think... They're Sharingan,"

Kitsunes eyes turn red, like, 9-tails red.

She goes onto all fours and growls defensively.

"Don't touch me!" Kitsune screeches.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" The two screech at the same time.

The two go at each other with everything.

Scratching, punching, kicking, slapping, biting, grabbing, throwing, and stomping.

"G-Guys..." I whimper, taking a step forward. "...Guys...?"

"I HATE YOU!"

A vase is smashed over Kitsunes head.

"I HOPE YOU DIE!"

Momo shoved into a TV screen.

"STUPID ORPHAN!"

Kitsune bitten.

"DAMNED UNLOVED WHORE!"

Momo punched in the face.

"FIRE STYLE: FIREBALL JITSU!"

Kitsune burned severly.

"LIGHTNING STYLE: LIGHTNING SHOWER JITSU!"

Momo zapped to a crisp, hair sticking up.

"I'M SICK OF YOU!" Momo dashes off. "BYE FOREVER!"

Momo disapears out the entrance of the base.

Kitsune stares sadly and angrily at the same time, "Yuri-chan..."

She passes out face first into the table.

"Flavia... What's wrong?" Kisame stares at me.

I was shaking uncontrolably, tears streaming down my face, bad memories entering my mind.

"This can't be happening..." 


	15. Choosing out an outfit

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>Momo's P.O.V<p>

I run through the forest full speed, I felt bad for trying to kill Kitsune.

...But not that bad.

I scratch my face on branches, repeatedly, unsure on where I was going.

I stop and dig through my backpack.

I pull out some papers.

"Well, if I'm gonna go somewhere, I at least wanna start off on hard." I mutter. "Name... Momo... Taio... Haha thats good."

I continue filling out the papers, "Rank, Chunin. Age, 16. Date of Birth, January 5th."

I finally get it all done, with only one problem.

I had no picture.

I search through my bag for a picture, then find one of me and Kitsune.

I pull put some sissors and start cutting her off carefully.

My heart gets heavier and heavier as I finish.

I throw Kitsune's half out, glue my picture on, and continue on to Sunagakure.

"I will be the best ninja in the world," I yell to myself. "Nothing will stop me! Nothing stands in my way! I'm on my own, and I'm gonna win! Ya here that Kitsune? I'm gonna WIN!"

~~~~

I make it to Suna in 3 days(four counting today) and I got the jitters.

"I wonder if they'll believe this is real...?" I mutter to myself. "Hmm... I'm gonna change out of these. It should help my ninja appearance."

I walk into the first store I see, searching for my perfect ninja outfit.

After spending a whole hour searching through the store, I decieded on an outfit.

I chose red leggings that stopped above my knees with a black mini skirt and a red tube shirt that stopped above my belly button.

I also had fishnet under the shirt, also with some on under leggings.

The shoes I chose were some black ones, that went below my knees.

After I payed for my outfit, I headed for the Kazekage's office.

I wonder if it was Gaara?

It was.

"Good afternoon, Kazekage-sama." I bow slightly. "I've come... From... Iwagakure to continue my ninja life here."

Gaara looks up and stares, "Do you have any papers?"

"Yes," I pull the papers out from my backpack and set them on his desk.

He skims them over, glancing up every now and then.

"Welcome, Momo." He finally says.

I smile big, "Hehe, thank you."

"Give this to the Academy principal, he'll give you a headband," Gaara gives me a piece of official looking paper.

"Thank you," I shuffle out the room, lost on where the hell the academy was.

After some wandering, I find the academy.

Even more wandering.

I find the principal.

"Kazekage-sama said you'd give me a headband!" I bust into the room. "Here's the paper!"

After he looks over the paper, he gives me a black headband with extra long ropes.

I walk out and go inside the bathroom, to tie the thing on.

After many different tries, I deciede to put it on my head, Naruto style.

"I'M GONNA BE THE BEST NINJA EVER, BELIEVE IT!" I shout, then climb out the window all ninja like. "Even if I only know two jutsu..."

I get something to eat, then go to the park.

"I feel like such a hobo..." I mutter, laying on the park bench. "But oh well."

My P.O.V

I glare defiantly at Tobi and Pein.

"I don't CARE if it's late! I want my ninja outfit NOW!"

"Ya know what Kitsune? If I take you to get your ninja outfit, will you leave me alone?" Pein growls.

"Yes." I nod.

"Then let's go." He slings me over his shoulder and does a teleportation jitsu to bring us to the nearest clothing store.

"Thank you!" I hug him, then run off to pick out my outfit.

Flavia went the day before.

She chose out hot pink shorts that went to her knees, black tank top, and black ninja shoes, Naruto style.

I wander around, throwing clothes around.

I had Pein holding the ones that I thought looked awesome.

And now on to the changing rooms.

JUST for the clothes.

"Shopping with your girlfriend?" This random dude chuckles. "Sucktastic ain't it?"

"She's NOT my girlfriend," Pein snaps.

"Yep, we're partners in crime," I comment, walking into the dressing room.

"Oooo, wat kinda crime?" The man wiggles his eyebrows suggetivly.

I whip out my gun and shoot him, "Go away,"

He limps off, looking freaked the fuck out.

Pein hands me the clothes to try on.

I feel kinda bad for him, cause I kept throwing rejected clothes over the door at him.

"Kitsune stop throwing clothes everywhere," Pein grumbles.

"My bad," I step out in the chosen outfit.

I chose some dark blue skinny pants with silver sparkle on them.

My shirt was silver and ripped along the sides, fishnet under it.

"So, whaddya think?" I ask, doing a 360 turn in the mirror.

"It's fine," Pein sighs. "Can we leave now?"

"No! I haven't got my shoes!" I grab his arm and lead him to the shoe section. "So many shoes..."

I eventually chose some black ninja shoes that were Konan style!

Haha!

Pein teleports us back to the base without PAYING.

haha, i LOVE being evil! 


	16. Losing Heart Points

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>"Nice outfit, Yaoi-chan!" Flavia approves.<p>

"Thanks! It took FOREVER to put together!" I wave my arms around.

"Flavi-chan! Kit-chan! It's meeting time!" Tobi bounces in with a childish tone.

"Here we come!" Flavia drags me into the dreaded meeting room.

"Meeting of doom number 2!" I announce.

"Next month will be the start of all your missions. That gives enough time for all of you to settle down." Pein explains. "For now, I will distribute the new partners. So get along while you can,"

"New partners, un?" Deidara says hopefully.

"This time, there will be mixed groups of two and three,"

"I wonder who I'm with..." Flavia mutters.

"Itachi, Zetsu, and Garret form one team." Pein states.

"Awesome," Garret crosses his arms. "I'm finally away from those freakish girls."

"Flavia, Hidan, and Kakuzu form the second team,"

"Woohoo! I'm with the zombie bros!" Flavia cheers.

This earns a grimace from Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Kisame and Sasori make the third team,"

"Lucky us," Kisame smirks. "No brats,"

"And lastly, Deidara, Kitsune, and Tobi."

"Damnit, un!"

"Woohoo!" I cheer.

"Aw man! She got the funny ones!" Flavia pouts.

"Yep, cause I'm annoyingly awesome!"

"I'm gonna die, un,"

"Deidara, don't be so dramatic." Pein sighs.

"I'm not being dramatic! First I have to deal with Tobi, hm! And now I have to deal with him AND the new brat!"

"I feel so unloved..." I pout. "Since when am I brat? I thought I was insane?"

"Your insane and a brat, un."

"You know you love me."

No answer, but he dosen't look at me... I WAS RIGHT!

We each go off on our seprate ways, mainly so we could each get along with our new partners.

_**Flavia's P.O.V**_

This is pretty damn awesome.

"So where're we going?" I ask.

"Shove it." Hidan glances at me.

"Shove what?"

_That's what she said!  
><em>  
>"Shove something in your fucking mouth and stop talking!"<p>

"...My mouth dosen't fuck," I PWN Hidan.

Hidan glares at me and keeps walking.

After a few minutes, I pull on his scythe curious to how heavy it is.

"Hey, isn't this thing heavy?" I ask.

"No." Hidan hands it to me. "See?"

I couldn't even lift the thing, let alone fight with it.

I struggled with that thing for a good 3 minutes, and I was already turning red.

Hidan was laughing at me the whole time.

"Sh-Shut up! This thing is heavy!" I huff.

"Not exactly," He picks the scythe up with one hand.

"Jashin forsken scythe." I mutter under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothin."

Another 5 minutes of silence passes.

"Kaaakuuuuzuuu! Where're we going?" I whine. "I'm tired!"

"We're going to get something to eat, then I'm gonna see if you can survive the way home."

Guess I'll stick with bugging Hidan.

Garret's P.O.V

"So, where're headed?" I ask impatiently.

"A dango shop." Itachi deadpans.

"And whhhyy?"

"Cause I like dango."

"I KNEW IT!" I shout, causing them both to flinch.

"How're you spose to be a spy if your so loud?" Zetsu questions.

"Meh, I manage."

We come to a small dango shop, that was obviously clueless to the Akatsuki and what they were.

Everywhere else we went, people stared and ran.

"When am I gonna get an Akatsuki cloak?" I try and make small talk.

"Ask leader." Itachi answers.

"You don't talk much do ya, weasel?" I tease.

This recieves a Sharigan glare and a death threat.

"Weeeeeaaaaaaselllllll." I tease some more.

"Hn,"

"I think that's gonna be your nickname from now on,"

"Hn."

"Hey weasel, whoes the last girl you fucked?"

Itachi's hand clenches and he gives me the death glare of doom.

"I've seen scarier," I comment. "The sad part is, they come from my sister."

"And she gives you death glares because?" Zetsu sighs.

"Because I interupt her rants a lot," I explain. "And I tease her about her hair and akatsuki obsession,"

A pinecone gets thrown at me from the bushes, "I mean fetish,"

"What was that?" Itachi questions.

"I dunno." I shrug. "It happens whenever I call something an obsession,"

**My P.O.V**

This is very... Entertaining.

About now, Deidara was trying to kill Tobi for tripping him.

I laugh at the scene and sit on a rock to watch.

Just as Deidara corners the Uchiha, I yell something out that probaly cost my life.

"Hey Deidara!"

"What, un?" Deidara glares at me.

"I made you a soooong!"

"Yeah. Uh-huh." He turns back to Tobi. "Now where was I..."

"DUN-NUH! DUH-NUH! DUDE LOOK LIKE A LADY!" I point frantically at Deidara. "DU-NUH! DU-NUH! DUUUDE LOOK LIKE A LADY!"

"KITSUNE, HM!" Deidara screams.

I laugh, scream and run all at the same time.

"I'M GONNA FUCKING BLOW YOU TO GOD DAMN PIECES, HM!"

He sounds halarious when he's mad! ...I love the attention... :3

"AHH! TOBI HELP!" I yell randomly, jumping behind him.

"How exactly?" He mutters.

"I don't know! Do your Tobi thing..."

"Ok," Tobi grabs ME and pushes me in front of him. "AHH! TAKE HER NOT ME, SEMPAI!"

Then he runs off.

"TOBI!" I throw my hands up, accidently hitting Deidara in the face.

This just pisses him off more.

I scream in a very Tobi way and run for the base.

"GET BACK HERE, HM!"

An explosion goes off under my feet, knocking me into the base.

I peel myself off the wall and keep running from the explosions.

"Yeah, thanks for alll the help," I pour on the sarcasm, walking into Tobi's room.

I was all... Burnt.

And scratched and bruised.

"What? You said to do something Tobi," He teases back.

I brush my hair, cutting off the singed pieces.

"Why're you always in here?" Tobi finally asks.

"Cause your the only on who treats me seriously..."

Hmm, one thing that will never change about Deidara is his... urge to blow things up.

I swear, if this was a dating sim, I would've lost like 30 to 40 points in the love meter with Deidara.

How am I gonna fix this?

* * *

><p><strong>I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! I haven't updated this in ages...<strong>


	17. Catching a turtlething

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>~~~(1 Month Later)~~~<p>

Deidara's still mad at me, but not as much... let's hope I don't screw it up.

"It's time to collect the tailed beasts." Pein explains our mission. "You'll be going after 1-tails and 3-tails. Gather what you need and set out right away,"

"But wait, that's only 2?" I raise my hand before continuing.

"Yes, Kitsune?" Pein rolls his eyes.

"Shouldn't I be assigned my own?"

"No. You'll assist Tobi and Deidara in catching theirs."

I pout, "But I want my own!"

"No."

"DAMN YOU! YOU SWIRLY EYED BITCH! GIMME MY OWN DEMON TO CATCH!" I snap.

"Good bye."

Tobi and Deidara back out the room.

"NAGATO! GIVE ME MY OWN DEMON TO CATCH!"

"Don't call me that, and your not trained enough,"

"DAMN RIGHT, I AM TRAINED ENOUGH! I'M NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM TILL I GET MY OWN BEAST TO CATCH!"

Woohoo! I got my own beast!

I go to my room and grab my backpack.

In it, I put some money, some clothes, and a snack.

I strap my kunai pouch on and attach my frying pan to my hip(don't ask how).

I run outside to meet Tobi and Deidara.

"Sempai! Deidara! Guess what? Leader's letting me get my own tailed beast!" I cheer. "I got 5-tails!"

Deidara raises his eyebrow, "He actually gave you one?"

"Yeah, but he says I still have to help you guys." I shrug. "Now let's go!"

We walk for a bit, before I start messing with the other two.

"Heey Deidara," I chime.

"What, hm?"

"I know something yoouuu don't!"

"Like I care, hm."

"Would you care if it was Tobi's big ass life changing secret?"

Tobi turns his gaze on me and stops talking to... Who/whatever.

"Tobi dosen't have a secret!"

"Right. Even if Tobi did have a secret, you wouldn't know it, hm,"

I could sense the slight eagerness in his voice.

"I know what his face looks like too!" I add.

"Really?"

"Do want the secret first, or the face?"

"Uh, Kitsune-chan! Stop lying! Tobi has no secret!"

"Secret, hm." Deidara stops walking.

I stop walking too, "His secret is... RIGHT AFTER THESE MESSAGES!"

I then run off and hide.

"WHAT!" Deidara roars. "KITSUNE GET BACK HERE!"

We walk and walk and walk.

Then Tobi does his thing.

"SENPAI! I'M TIRED! LET'S TAKE A BREAK!" Tobi whines. "LET'S GO TO THAT DANGO SHOP!"

And off he goes.

"Your sure don't look tired, hm." Deidara grumbles, follwoing after.

I quickly run to catch up.

A hold back my laughs when Tobi asks Deidara if his art is a rip-off.

"I never knew someone could run so fast," I snicker.

Then theres the big ass explosion and Tobi goes flying through the air.

"You gotta admit, it does look like your art," I make small talk. "The big empty eyes, the wide open mouth." I grab the pig. "It shall be my new pet!"

Deidara rolls his eyes and walks off.

I toss the pig aside and follow, my pan clanking against my thigh.

"Tobi," Deidara stares at the huge turtle thing. "Go get your tailed beast, hm."

"What the hell is wrong with that turtle!" I point. "It looks hella deformed!"

"Shut up, hm."

"Are you still mad at me for not telling you the secret?" I sigh.

I sit back and enjoy the show wheen...

"Go help him, hm."

"What? That THING." I stare awestruck.

We were hovring on his bird BTW.

"Yep." He shoves me off.

I land with a hard thump on the turtles head.

"Fucking OW!" I hold my head.

The... Turtle... roars and starts attacking me.

I fall onto it's back and get whapped by it's tail.

After it's done with that, it just flings me off it's back.

I can't walk on water, people!

So here I am, wading in the water.

And this water is COLD.

There's a big ass explosion and the turtle is knocked out.

"Tobi did it!" Tobi cheers.

I scramble up onto the turtles back, "Great job!"

"Actually, hm. It was my bomb that knocked it out," Deidara jumps in.

"Nu-uh! It was my awesome new jutsu!" Tobi crosses his arms.

I lay back on the turtle, far from Tobi, considering what happens next.

"Tobi, now that your in the Akatsuki, hm. You've gotta be more serious and quiet." Deidara lectures. "And... Tobi?"

Haha, he fell asleep.

And boom goes the Tobi!

I laugh at the scene, extremly satisfied.

"Where to next, Deidara!" I call out.

"We're getting yours, hm." Deidara glares. "No talking,"

"I'LL TALK ALL I-"

_**BOOM!**_

I land in the water, yet again.

"Passive agressive bitch!"

Great. I screwed it up _again!_

Love meter down by another 30..

* * *

><p><strong>I shall explain the love meter!<strong>

**The love meter is this thing that calculates love. It goes up to one hundred.**

**Deidara and Kitsune: 20% from this point on. (Was at 80%)**

**Flavia and Hidan: 50% from this point on. (Was at 70%)**


	18. Some messy love

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse? Now what if you and your friends loved to write Lemons?**

* * *

><p>"Baka!" Deidara smacks me upside my head. "What don't you get by stay hidden, hm?"<p>

"What? I got excited..." I rub my head.

Haha, I got my Akatsuki cloak... Its huuuuge!

We were getting stared at by villagers.

_**SMACK!**_

"Stop hitting me!" I hit him back.

"I'll hit you all I want, hm!"

_**SMACK!**_

"Deidara!"

SMECK! I hit him back.

_**SMACK!**_

_**SMECKKK!**_

_**"**_We're being stared at, hm..." Deidara sighs.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE STARING AT?" I snap. "GET A LIFE!"

"Let's... Just go... Hm..." Deidara grabs my shirt collar and drags me off.

Tobi jumps in front of us, "I FOUND 5 TAILS!"

"Where is it, hm."

"Gaurding a cave! Tobi got inside and found a box of these!" Tobi whips out something black and rectangular.

Is that what I think it is?

"OH MY GOD TOBI!" I squeal, tackling him. "GIMME GIMME GIMEE! YOU'VE GOT TO SHOW ME WHERE YOU GOT THESE EEEEEEEE!"

"What is it, hm?" Deidara plucks it out of Tobi's hands.

"IT IS AN IPHONE!" I snatch it from him and cuddle it. "My precious... My precious..."

I then notice something weird.

It had a bunch of hearts scratched into the back and a big M.

"Th-This is Momo's..." I plant it in my backpack. "LETS GO GET 5-TAILS!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" I point at the beast sleeping in front of me.

"It's a dolphin, hm."

"Are you BLIND? That THING is not a DOLPHIN."

"She's right, it's a horse." Tobi corrects.

"Your both INSANE." I snap. "It's worse than 8-tails!"

"Just go get your beast, hm. You asked for it,"

I sigh as a loud growl echoes from behind.

Not only did we wake up the beast... We pissed it off.

"AHHHH!" I dodge through the tails and HOOFS attacking me. "SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!"

"You said you don't WANT our help, hm." Deidara calls out.

I'm gonna DIE from trying this.

I dodge behind the monster, then start climbing up the back.

I hold on tight to the tail as it tries to fling me off, "GOOD HAN! BE GOOD!"

It flings me to it's mouth, and now my cloak caught on its teeth.

I wriggle around, failing at getting free and out of the corner of my eye I see Deidara laughing at me.

There was a loud rip, and I was free falling through the air.

"Ya know what? SCREW YOU!" I grab on to one of its tails and hold on tight.

I somehow end up on its back.

"LIGHTNING STYLE: LIGHTNING PALM!" I slam my palm down HARD on it's back.

This thing SHRIEKS and starts flailing around like crazy.

I fall off it's back again.

I do the lightning palm again on it's leg.

It FALLS OVER.

ONTO ME!

It starts turning back into the jinchuriki host and I stand up triumphantly.

"YEAAHHH~! I KICK ASS!" I do my winning dance, then run into the cave.

Out of all the junk in here...

I grab a new video camera, my Iphone, Flavia's Ipod touch, some cereal, a box of Snickers, and some Naruto manga.

"Kitsune, hm." Deidara stops me. "..."

"Yeah?" I take my hair out its ponytail.

I could hear Tobi yelling for where we went.

"That was pretty good, hm." Deidara smirks. "I didn't think you could do it, hm..."

"Can we go to a bar?"

"No, hm. I have no idea how you are drunk."

"Then can you carry me?"

"Carry you."

"Yep."

"Fine," Deidara rolls his eyes.

I jump onto his back with a yay.

We walk past Tobi, Deidara kicking him awake.

By the time we hit the forest again, I was in the zone and I had my Ipod.

I hook up the earphones and choose my "Sing and Annoy" playlist.

"Back door cracked we don't need a key! We get in for free! No VIP sleeze!" I bounce around. "Drink that Kool-aid follow my lead! Now your one of us, your coming with me! It's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down! To late, we're taking over, no ones getting out! This place about to BLOW-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH."

"Kitsune, hm." Deidara pulls one of my ear buds out. "That song is retarded, un."

"Psh, it's a great song!" I pout. "But fine, I'll choose a different song!"

"Robocop pulled out his gun and was like, BLAKA! BLAKA!" I make a finger gun.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE KITSUNE! QUIT SINGING ABOUT A ROBOT BAR FIGHT, HM!" Deidara snaps.

I switch songs, "Ohhhhh, ohhhh, oh. When you gonna stop breaking my heart? ...I don't wanna be another one, ohhh... Paying for the things I've never doone... Don't let go. Don't let go, to my love..."

I'm surprised Deidara didn't say anything.

"Can I get to your soul? Can you promise you won't let go? ...All the things that I need, all the things that you need... It can make it feel so real~! Cause you can't deny,you've blown my mind. And without your body, I think I'm losing control," I do little twirls and swaying motions in beat to the song. "Ohhhh, ohhhh, oahh."

I twirl right into a tree.

"OWW!" I rub my nose. "Stupid tree... Way to kill the mood..."

The boys were oddly quiet for once.

"Good night guys!" I lay back and close my eyes.

"Your gonna sleep in the middle of the floor, hm?"

"Yep," I yawn.

"Get up, there's village straight ahead, hm."

"..."

"Kiiiitsuuune." Tobi nudges me with his foot.

"Hmm?"

Tobi slings me over his shoulder and carries me off.

Yay! I'm speacial! Two guys carried me in ONE DAY.


	19. DA MOVIE!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Kitsune: It's coming...<strong>

**Momo: It's coming...**

**Deidara: What're you TALKING about, un?**

**Flavia: *le gasp* You don't know!**

**Pein: What's coming? Or who?**

**Kitsune: *snicker***

**Pein: What's so funny?**

**Ktisune: NOTHING! *runs away***

**Flavia: You guys are all idiots! You should get slapped!**

**Hidan: Jashin's sake, just explain already!**

**3 girls: OUR MOVIE!**

**Pein: WHAT! WHAT! WHO SAID WE WERE HAVING A MOVIE!**

**Momo: We did.**

**Pein: NO! No movie!**

**Kitsune: To bad! It's already in action! **

**Flavia: MWAHAHAHAHH!**

**Kakuzu: ...**

**Flavia: SAy it!**

**Kakuzu: I don't want to.**

**Flavia: Then your not getting paid!**

**Kakuzu: *growls* YaoiYuriHentai-THE MOVIE! Will we on youtube!**

**Kitsune: Ahem.**

**Kakuzu: Watch the adventures of the beloved Momo, the wonderful Flavia, and the pshyco Kitsune.**

**Kitsune: HEY! DX**

**Kakuzu: Oh I'M SORRY. The MENTALLY ILL AND INSANE Kitsune!**

**Kitsune: WTF! That's even worse! Be nice!**

**Kakuzu: No...**

**Kitsune: Why!**

**Momo: Because your not the one paying him.**

**Kitsune: But most of the story is Kitsune-centric!**

**Flavia: That;s cause your a total pshyco!**

**Kitsune: Forget you all!**

**Kisame: I thought you were hiding?**

**Kitsune: I AM!**

**Konan: Well, Leader never left the chat.**

**Kitsune: OH uh... CRAP!**

**_Kitsune has been disconnected..._**

**Deidara: Hopefully she'll even survive to get to the movie, un.**

**Kisame: Deidara be realistic.**

**Deidara: ?**

**Kisame: We all know she's not gonna make it in one peice!**

**Kitsune: Thanks for doubting me!**

**Hidan: Aren't you running?**

**Kitsune: How do you know?**

**Konan: First off, we're all in the same house**

**Itachi: Second, we can HEAR you.**

**Flavia: Should we help her?**

**Everyone: ...Naaaaah...**

**Flavia: Oh... OK then. *_*''**

**Kitsune: You all suck you know that! I think he broke my arm... _**

**Itachi: *sarcasm* Poor Kitsune, are you ok?**

**Kitsune: STFU WEASEL!**

**_Itachi has logged off...'_**

**Kitsune: OH COME ON!**

**_Kitsune has logged off..._**

**Zetsu: Yeahhh, she's not gonna make it to the movie.**

**Momo: So glad you have faith in me.**

**Zetsu: Eh?**

**Momo: Kitsune out!**

**Konan: That was weird.**

**Flavia: Come on! She's gotta make it to the movie! Then who would Momo-**

**Sasori: SPOILER ALERT!**

**Flavia: OK. ok... who would Momo HATE?**

**Hidan: Flowers.**

**Flavia: Where did that come from?**

**Hidan: You... Damn brain washer**


	20. Meeting

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Momo's P.O.V<strong>

I stand ready in Gaara's office.

"I'm ready for my mission, Gaara-sama." I bow.

"There have been Akatsuki sighted in the Waterfall village." Gaara starts.

"Akatsuki?" I say a bit to excitedly.

"Yes. Some Konoha ninja will accompany you. You are to infiltrate thier hideout and get some info on how to stop them,"

"H-Hai." Thoughts of Kitsune cloud my vision. "So who're these Konoha ninscoming with me?"

"Kushina Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Shikamaru Nara."

"Hai." I bow and leave. "I'll get my things and meet them at the village gates." 

* * *

><p>I gather all my things and meet my team at the gates.<p>

"Hi, Kushina. Sakura. Shikamaru." I bow. "Nice to meet you,"

"You... You look familiar." Sakura mutters.

"I'm Momo Taio." I wave.

Sakura continues pondering to herself.

"Nice to meet you to, Momo." Kushina bows.

"Well, let's get going. The sooner the better." Shikamaru sighs.

We set off through the desert... To the waterfall village.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"YOU LIED!" I point an accusing finger at Deidara.

"How, hm?"

"You said the village was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US."

"It was, hm." Deidara smirks.

"Yeah, 3 days in front of us!" I huff.

"Same thing," He shrugs.

**Momo's P.O.V**

We get to Waterfall in three days.

"Shikamaru, your such a downer." Kushina whines. "Man up! And lighten up!"

Shikamaru rolls his eyes.

Kushina reminds me of Kitsune...

"How do I man up and lighten up at the same time?" Shikamaru sighs.

"Figure it out!" Kushina huffs. "Hey Momo, your awfully quiet! What's up?"

I freeze, a ghost-kitsune appearing next to Kushina, mocking her movements.

I fall to my knees and start crying.

"What's wrong?" Sakura turns to me.

"Wh-What did I do?" Kushina kneels next to me.

I don't answer, but I collect myself and stop crying.

_/My plans to kick her ass! Not miss her!/_ I mentally scold myself.

"It was nothing you did, promise." I pat her head. "I just... Nothing... It's nothing."

"What's that spose to mean!" An all to familiar voice exclaims.

"It MEANS your not much of a girl, hm."

"Just cause I don't like wearing make up, wearing dresses, skipping, and flowers dosen't mean I'm not a girl!" Kitsune huffs. "I'm one hundred percent female!"

"Says you. That hasn't been proven, hm."

"Your genders still a mystery too," She retorts.

"Well... That was easy," Sakura comments, but stops and stares. "Is... Is that... KITSUNE!"

Kitsune snaps around at her name being called.

"Does Kitsune know that girl?" Tobi points.

"Er... Kinda, yes." Kitsune ducks behind Deidara.

"Then why're you hiding?"

Kitsune pulls Tobi next to Deidara.

"Cause Momo's with them!"

"So, hm?" Deidara jumps in.

"I'm not ready..."

"D-Did you say Kitsune?" Kushina stares.

"Yes." Sakura nods. "That's definantly her."

"Kitsune, we can see you." I walk up to herr.

"Shit..." She comes out of hiding. "Hey Momo-chan!"

"Hello..." I mutter.

_/Ugh! What's wrong with me? I wanna beat her ass and possibly kill her! ...But at the same time I wanna hug her and never leave again... Stupid feelings/_

Kushina wouldn't stop staring at Kitsune.

"Deidara says your not a girl unless you like girly things!" Kitsune whines. "Prove him wrong!"

"I didn't even say it that way, hm."

"Then how did you say it?" Kitsune puts her hands on her hips.

"I said your not very girly, hm."

"Uh... Um..." Kitsune blushes and pouts.

"Kit...sune..." Kushina steps up to her.

"Yeah?" Kitsune glances up, then ends up staring. "...Hey! You look like me!"

"It's the other way around, baka." Kushina thunks Kitsune's head.

"We're at the hotel, Kitsune, hm." Deidara waves bye and dashes off.

The two red heads have a stare off, until I say something.

"Kitsune!"

"Huh?" She stares at me... Actually, she looks up at me, I'm taller. "Yeah Momo?"

"OH MY GOD KITSUNE!" Kushina exclaims all of a sudden.

"Yeah?"

"Y-Y-Your... My daughter..." Kushina gasps.

"I thought you looked familiar..." Kitsune mutters.

So much for my plan.

"So wait, that means... NARUTO'S MY BROTHER!" Kitsune cheers. "But wait, does that mean I have 9-tails in me?"

"Yeah..." Kushina sighs. "But you deal."

"Shh, don't tell the Akatsuki!" Kitsune looks around.

"Wouldn't think of it... On the subject of Akatsuki," Kushina gets a mom look. "Why're you with them?"

"Because... They found us... We like, jumped through a portal, ran from some strangers, and ended up at the Akatsuki base." I explain. "Garret and Flavia are back at the base an- I should shut up now..."

"KIT!" Sakura exclaims. "WHY'RE YOU HANGING AROUND THOSE FREAKS!"

"Cause it's pretty damn fun to mess with them." Kitsune chuckles.

I go and sit down under tree to let them catch up.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"Mess with them?" Shikamaru questions. "Isn't that like, dangerous."

"It is... But not for me cause I'm fucking awesome!" I cheer.

"How is that?" Sakura also questions.

"Cause I'm the Akatsuki's Red Flash," I smirk and do a Jirayai pose. "Flavia came up with the name."

Kushina sighs, "I guess... I could live with this..."

"Live with what?" I cock my head.

"My daughter being an Akatsuki member."

"Ahhh..." I nod. "Well, it's getting dark! Get a hotel, see ya later! Goooood night!"

I dash off to our hotel, finding it empty.

I sit on the bed annoyed, "If I was a S-ranked criminal... With nothing to do... Where would I go?"

I sit there and think about that for a good 5 minutes.

"To the bar!" I dash out the window and around town, lost.

I find the bar and sneak in.

I order some drinks and go looking for my boys.

"Hey you," This random dude comes up to me. "Wanna have a night with me?"

**No one's P.O.V**

Kitsune stares glaze-eyed at the guy, "I hawv my hubby! Get away!"

The guy gives her a funny look.

"I aweady got sumwun to fluck!" She staggers off.

They start and announcement for kareoke.

"OOOOO! I WANNA DO KAREOKE!" Kitsune stumbles to the stage.

"Kitsune, hm?" Deidara glances up. "Shit.."

She hooks her Iphone up to the stereo and grabs a mic.

"Oh no, not this song, hm!" Deidara smacks his forehead.

"Back door cracked, we don't need a key! We get in for free, no VIP sleeze. Drink that Kool-aid follow my lead," Kitsune marches around the stage. "Now your one of us, your coming with me! It's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down! This place about to- Toooo late! We're taking over! No ones getting out! This place about to BLOWWW-OHHH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH!"

Deidara gets Tobi out the bar and heads for Kitsune.

"No wait!" Kitsune waves her hand. "We're taking control! We get what we want! We do what we don't. Dirt and glitter cover the floor! We're pretty and sick, we're young and we're bored. Iiiiit's time to kill the lights and shut the DJ down! This place about to- tooo late! We're taking names, we don't mess around!"

Some people sing along with the chorus.

Deidara snatches Kitsune off the stage and leaves the bar quickly.

"THANK YOU WATERFALL! I LUV U, GOOD NIGHT!" Kitsune yells.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I was mumbling to myself, no idea why the crowd got so quiet.

My eyes were closed at the moment.

Something taps on my head, interupting my conversation.

"I looooove you. I love you THIS MUCH." I spread my arms.

"Oh really, hm?"

My eyes pop open, "NO!"

Deidara chuckles and walks off.

"Stupid blonde..." I mutter, blushing.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

"Hidan!" I bound in front of him. "Where'd everyone go?"

"They're avoiding your annoying ass!" He snaps.

"You don't have to be so mean about it," I pout my lip out.

"Don't pout at me," He pushes my lip back in. "It won't work,"

I pout it right back out and cross my arms, "Cook with me...?"

"Hell no."

I make my eyes real big and watery next, "Please?"

"No."

"Pwetty pwease, Hida-kun?" I sit next to him.

"NO."

"Hiidaaaan, please?" I lean against him. "Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Ple-"

"What do you want to cook... Fucking annoying..."

"Let's make a cake!" I pull him to the kitchen and put on a black apron. "Get out the flour, milk, eggs, and chocolate chips!"

Hidan does so half-heartedly, while I get the bowls.

"What next, bitch?"

"Crack the eggs into this bowl, NO SHELLS."

"Ok, Ok. No need to yell," Hidan starts doing so.

I get down a pot and start melting down the chocolate chips.

"I'm done, Flavia." Hidan calls out.

"Are there shells in it?" I walk up.

"No,"

"Well then, measure 3 cups of flour into this bowl- and Hidan,"

"Yeah?"

"That's rat poisuning,"

"Uh... I knew that." Hidan grabs the flour.

I check on my chocolate and let it cool, then get an even bigger bowl.

I pour in some milk, the eggs, and flour.

"Mix this!" I push the bowl towards Hidan.

"Bossy much?"

"Very."


	21. Bitch

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Kushina's P.O.V<strong>

Why is Momo making us go back?

It will always be a mystery, cause she won't answer.

But now I have a new problem.

How do I explain this Naruto and Minato?

* * *

><p>"Hey, Ma! Your back already?" Naruto pops his head over the couch.<p>

"Yep... And I have some news..." I sigh and sit between Naruto and Minato.

"What is it?" Minato notices my sulleness.

"Well... I found our daughter AND her friends..."

"Ya mean Momo and Flavia?"

"You found Kitsune! Where is she?" Naruto bounces up.

"Wellllll... Momo's in Sunagakure... And Flavia's... In the Akatsuki." I start.

"That's sad... She could've been better than that." Minato sighs. "And where's Kitsune?"

"She's..."

"Hmm?"

"She calls herself the Akatsuki's red flash."

"What?"

"She's in the Akatsuki." I sigh. "And she seems pretty happy there."

"Happy?" Minato grimaces.

"But at the same time... There was something else..."

"They used to be little... semi-angels..."

"We have to go get her!" Naruto snaps.

"It's not that simple! We have to find the Aka-"

"I know where the base is," Momo peeks in through the window. "And I'll show you."

"Do you have Tsunade-sama's permission?" I cock my head.

"Welll, I never reported us back in and I added Naruto and Minato to the list." Momo shrugs.

"Well, what're we waiting for? Let's go!"

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

Back at the base, 5 days later.

"You actually CAUGHT 5-tails?" Flavia stares.

"Yep." I boast. "It was nothing! And I got these,"

I pull out her Iphone with the words ART IS A BANG scratched into it.

She squeals almost as loud as me.

"I see your happy," I smirk.

"Well yeah, all my blackmail is on this!"

My smirk faulters, "Say what now?"

"See?" She chooses a video and shows it to me.

_**"OOOOOOOOO KISAME UR SO BIG" I make the Itachi plushie squeak.**_  
><em><strong>I was using the Ita-plushie and Kisa-plushie to make yaoi...<strong>_  
><em><strong>"Yeah! Fuck that ass! SMACK!"<strong>_  
><em><strong>Garret walks in wide eyed, "Kitsune... What're you doing?"<strong>_  
><em><strong>"Ahh..." I blush embarresed.<strong>_

"Argh! Shut up!" I delete the video.

"Hey! That was my favorite one!" She whines.

"Hmm? I think Momo's back...?" Kisame closes his eyes. "And she brought some friends,"

"Oh she didn't." I deciede it's best not to question.

The door swings open with a loud bang, Minato, Naruto, Kushina, and Momo standing in the doorway.

"MOMO!" Tobi glomps the girl. "Who are these people?"

"Kitsune's family,"

"...Kit?" Naruto stares.

"..." I was torn between using my act or not.

I settle for waving.

Pein come downstairs annoyed, "What's going on."

"Momo brought Kitsune's family!" Flavia announce.

Pein goes silent as he stares at Naruto.

"Heeey, long time no... See?" I look away from Minato's stare.

"Kitsune." He comes forward.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Let's go. We're going home."

I look down at the ground and start walking off, when Pein grabs my cloak from behind.

"No." Pein glares.

I stand there awkwardly and TOTALLY TORN.

"Kitsune." Minato grabs the front of my cloak.

The two men have a stare off.

"Flavia, your coming with us too." Kushina states. "Neither of you belong here."

"Well, I don't fit in anywhere else." I sigh.

"Kitsune! Don't say that!" Naruto grabs my arm. "The Akatsuki are a bunch of low-lifes who use you for your power,"

"And she has much power indeed." Pein smirks. "Enough to take down-"

"Shhhhh!" I elbow him with my free arm.

"Took down who?" Minato stares at me.

"Um... Well I..." I couldn't handle this.

"Kitsune... Who did you take down?" Naruto this time.

I mutter my answer.

"Speak up, Kitsune." Pein urges. "Don't be shy cause you never are."

"I-I... Took down fwivtail..."

"Who." Minato's hold loosens on me.

"F-Five tails..." I look down at my bare feet.

Minato lets go of me all together, "You didn't."

"I did... Deidara and Sempai-"

"Sempai? Whoes Sempai?" Minato backs away.

"Tobi," I point to the masked guy.

His eyes widen at Tobi, who was sitting on the couch watching.

"Him."

"Err... Yes..." I go back to looking at my feet.

"Kitsune..." Naruto makes me look up. "Why?"

"I didn't mean to..."

"And you LIED to everyone..."

"I-I didn't lie," I mutter. "I... Just..."

"What the hell are you people staring at? Get out!" Flavia yells at the forming group.

"Kitsune. Come. With. Us." Naruto whispers.

"I can't..." I pull away from Pein and Naruto. "Jus... Just gimme some time to think!"

I run off and hide.

"Gah! Kitsune, no!" Flavia runs after.

"Hold on, Flavia." Pein stops her. "Let her think... For once."

**Kushina's P.O.V**

Flavia turns to Momo, "Why Momo? Why'd you do it?"

Momo shrugs, "I felt like it."

_**BOOM!**_

"YOU FUCKING FELT LIKE IT!" Kitsune comes out of nowhere, knocking Momo to the ground. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!"

"YOUR MY FUCKING PROBLEM!" Momo snaps.

Kitsune starts walking in circles, trying to think.

"Why can't you come home." Minato holds her still.

"She signed a contract." The carrot-top pulls out the paper with Kitsune's handprint in blood.

_**Kitsune's P.O.V**_

I remember the day so clearly.

_"So... I have to do this?" I stare warily at the knife._

_"Yes." Pein pushes me forward. "Are you gonna cut your hand yourself or do I have to do it?"_

_I pause, then hold out my hand. "You do it."_

_He makes a deep gash across my whole hand, then does his own._

_I squeal in pain and hold my hand._

_Pein pushes our hands together, then pushes mine down on the paper._

_I could feel heavy burning on my hand, "Ahhhh!"_

_Pein refuses to let me move away._

_"Ahhh! Stop it! It huuuurts!" I whine._

"The things you do," Minato says to me.

"Pe-Leader-sama!" I whip around, ignoring the low growl emitting from Minato.

"What?"

"C'mere! We need to talk!" I drag him to the kitchen.

"Ok, what?"

"I've got an idea, ok?" I sigh. "You'll like it, probaly not anyone else."

* * *

><p>Me and Flavia come forward to my family.<p>

I turn around, "Bye guys!"

"We'll miss you!" Flavia adds.

"Wait wait wait! Before we leave..." I run up to each and every member to hug them.

Some resisted, some didn't.

I guess since Flavia was a bit sane, she didn't join in.

Itachi growls at me as I hug him.

"Don't growl at me, it dosen't work." I skip off. "Ok, let's go!"

All the people in my group were staring at me with disbelief except Flavia and Momo.

* * *

><p>"Why's everyone so quiet?" I huff as we get back to Konoha.<p>

No answer.

"Where're we going?"

"Me and you are going to the Hokage's office," Minato answers. "The rest of you head to the house,"

"I kinda have to go..." Momo raises her hand.

"Then leave." I snap. "Go to your stupid Sand village."

Momo looks dejected, but walks off.

Minato leads me to Tsunade's office.

"Oh, Kit? How's it been going?" Tsunade smiles.

"Not to good..." I mutter.

"I think KIT has some things to tell you." Minato pushes me forward.

"Well... For one thing, my name's not Kit. It's Kitsune..." I sigh. "For another, I haven't been very truthful."


	22. SMD LMP

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>So I tell Tsunade my whole little situation.

Now, she's staring at me in disbelief.

"I can't believe this..." Tsunade shakes her head.

"I'm sorry..." I mutter.

Of course I didn't tell her the whole "leaking info" thing.

"From now on, you'll be under close survalience." Tsunade huffs. "Your family can choose how to punish you,"

The walk home was a silent one.

Once inside, Kushina had made dinner.

I sit awkwardly at the table.

"Your grounded for 2 weeks." Minato states.

"WHAT!" I shoot up.

"No leaving the house." Kushina adds.

"Bu-Bu-Bu... Fine..." I sigh.

After dinner, I go to my room and open my window to let some fresh air in.

I gasp, "I remember you!" I pick up the limp bunny plushie. "Snuggles!"

I hug it close and sit on my bed.

Flavia walks in, taking in the scene.

"..."

"..."

"You didn't see anything," I hide the bunny under my pillow.

"Whatever," She laughs. "Just scoot over!" 

* * *

><p>I scream a muffled scream at all the people in my room.<p>

"Stop DOING that!" I hiss, holding my heart.

"What's with your room, hm?" Deidara looks around.

"Nothings wrong with it..." I mutter.

"What's with all the bunny's, hm?"

"Stop talking!" I hiss again.

Footsteps stop in front of my door.

Flavia's now awake, and she's staring up at the ceiling.

The door bursts open, "We forgot Garret."

Naruto stares at our shocked faces.

I hide under my blankets and wait for him to leave.

"Hm, blondie's your brother?" Hidan comes out of hiding.

"Apparently." I shrug. "So, why're you two here?"

"We're bored, hm."

"And?"

"Entertain us, hm."

"I'm not a stripper," I comment.

"Not that way, hm!" Deidara sits on my dresser.

"I...I knew that..."

"No you didn't." Flavia teases.

"Let's fly on Dei's bird!" I jump up and push Deidara off my dresser.

After some searching, I find a sweater.

"No."

"Why not?"

"So I'm not responsible if you fall, hm."

"Buuuut-"

"Choose something else."

I will ride that bird.

"Well what am I spose to ride!" I snap, purposley making it sound wrong.

"I've got an idea, hm..."

"What is it?" I perk up.

"Ugh, fine! We'll ride the bird, hm!"

"I wanna ride something too!" Flavia whines.

"Ride Hidan," I whisper in her ear.

"Not an option." She shoves me away. "But fine, be that way."

"Let's go!" I pull Deidara to the window. "Do your thing,"

"It's a wonder how no one has heard you, hm."

With a poof, two birds appear.

I stand in the window sill, now freaking out.

Deidara helps me onto my bird, then gets on his.

We fly through the sky at insane speeds, I didn't fall once... I did hit something however.

I was going through the trees, when a thick branch whapped me off the bird.

I fall to the ground painfully.

"Owww! Oh god, oowwwwww!" I roll around the ground.

Deidara lands next to me, amused.

"What happened, hm? You were doing so well!"

"A branch attacked me! It knocked me off my bird!" I whine, sitting up.

"Does it hurt, hm?" He kneels next to me.

"Very..."

"Where?"

"My head!" I huff.

My bird lands near me, twitching it's head.

"Your head, hm?"

"Yeah, that branch hit my head," I shrug, pointing at the nasty bruise forming.

He traces his finger along my skin, which had a lot of bruises; more than you would thinks.

He kisses a purplish bruise on my colar bone.

I stay quiet, but blush lightly.

I had a looot of bruises, so this went on for a few minutes.

Then he places a big long one on my lips.

_/RED ALERT! RED ALERT! ANH! ANH! ANH!/_

I freeze, wide-eyed, then pull away in surprise.

He raises his eyebrow and leans in again.

I lean back and end up falling into a rock.

I cry out in pain and he starts tounge kissing me.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I watch as Deidara and Kitsune fly off into the night.

"What's wrong with your hair?" Hidan rakes his fingers through my hair.

"Whaddya mean?"

"The color. Were you born that way?"

"As far as I know, yes." I roll my shoulers.

I couldn't get what Kitsune said out my head.

Hidan lays back on the bed, "When the fuck do you think those asses will be back?"

"No idea, but Kitsune loves to fly so... Probaly awhile,"

Hidan sighs and closes his eyes.

I sit on his chest and stare down at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm just... Trying to figure something out," I slide back to his stomach.

"And what exactly are you trying to figure out?"

"S-Something." I mutter, sliding back to his lower regions. "Nothing in particular."

I lay down and stare at him.

"Your eyes are pink," I comment.

"Your eyes are purple." He comments back.

"Why're they pink?"

"Cause they are." He rolls his eyes.

"Let's play 21 questions!"

"Why?" He groans.

"Is it an animal?"

"Yes."

"Does it have 4 legs?"

"No."

"does-"

"This game sucks." He interupts.

"Well do you have any better ideas?" I huff.

"Actually, yes..." Hidan smirks.

And he KISSES me.

On the LIPS.

OMG!

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

Deidara pauses and feels the back of my head.

"I... Think your head's bleeding, hm."

My hand shoots to my head, and sure enough, it is.

"Look what you did," I mutter, sitting up.

"I didn't do it, you did hm." Deidara puts me on my feet.

"Well FIX it," I wave my arms.

"It'll fix itself, hm." Deidara simply puts a bandage on my head. "Get on your bird,"

I hop on and fly off, pulling flips and twirls.

"Wooohhoooo!" I jump up and off the bird.

"Are you INSANE hm!" Deidara snaps, catching me by my sweater hoodie.

"It was an ACCIDENT." I huff.

"Sure it was, hm." He lifts me onto his.

I jump again and land on my bird.

"Oh good, you didn't fall this time, hm."

"Shut up and... And suck my dick!" I snap.

Did that really just come out my mouth?

"I didn't think you had one, hm," He laughs.

"Argh! Shut up!" I zoom off.

I jump into my window, Flavia thumps onto the floor.

"What the fuck!" She whines.

"Did I... Interupt something?" I snicker.

"Nope," Hidan jumps out the window, stealing my bird.

"Soo, what happened?" I tease.

"Nothin much, buuut what happened with YOU." Flavia points out. "Your face is all pink!"

"Your face is pink too!" I dive onto her.

"SHUT UP!"

"Make me!"

The door suddenly opens.

Minato stares, "What're you guys..."

"Doing..." Kushina finishes for him.

"She hit me." I pout. "See?"

I point to my bandaged head.

Kushina sighs, "Your fighting at 4 in the morning cause she hit you?"

"Yep."

"Come eat breakfast, then." Kushina leads the way, Minato stays back.

"Why're you so bruised up?" Naruto points out.

"Me and Flavia were fighting," I sigh.

"You must've lost cause your all bruised up!"

"I didn't lose!" I huff.

"Then what's with all the bruises?"

"Suck my dick!" I snap.

Ugh, not that sentence again... Why is it in my mind?

There's an awkward silence as my voice echoes.

"Kitsune, don't use that kinda language!" Kushina finally scolds.

I shrug and sit down.

"You don't even have a dick..." Naruto teases. "Right?"

"Of course I don't, baka!" I smack his head annoyed. "Imma girl! I got pussy!"

"Kitsune!" Kushina smacks my head. "Stop talking like that!"

"But it's true!" I point out.

Flavia snickers at the scene.

"You sound like fucking Sai!" She laughs.

"Really? That's bad!"

"Fuck yeah!"

"And now you sound like Hidan."

"Shut up!"

"SUCK MY DICK!" (me)

_**SMACK!**_

"WHAT DICK!" (Flavia)

"SHUT UP!"

"L-M-P!"

A vein pops out on Minato's head.

"Lmp?" Naruto asks cluelessly.

Flavia rolls her eyes, "Lick my-"

"Flavia!" Kushina snaps. "It's hard to believe your a Hyuga-"

"OMG I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE EXTRA PERVY!" I shout.

"Shut up!"

Kushina sighs, "I give up!"

"SMD!"

"LMP!"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ORAL SEX!" Naruto cuts in.

We eat breakfast in quietness.

Back in my room, we started up again.

I don't even know what we're talking about anymore.

"Shut up!" Flavia shoves me.

I go tumbling out the window.

_**THUMP!**_

"Are you suicidal, hm?"

"No! Flavia pushed me!" I pout.

He flies me back up to the window.

"Prince Charming saves Rapunzel!" Flavia teases.

"SUCK MY DICK!" I snap.

Flavia hides her laughter by shoving a pillow in her face.

"Why do you keep saying that, hm?"

_Cause it's my only comeback._

"Cause my dicks huge and worthy of sucking!"

He just bursts out laughing, "What dick, hm?"

"My inner dick,"

"Your inner dick, hm? Have you lost your mind?"

"No!" I laugh.

"Either way," He leans close into my ear. "I'd rather you suck mine, hm."

"N-N-No thanks." I blush, embarrsed.

"You know you want to, hm."

Flavia was now gasping for air, laughing.

"Shut up, Flavia! No one wants to lick your nasty pussy anyways!" I snap.

"My pussy ain't nasty!"

"I feel so left out this conversation, hm."

"You don't have to be!" Flavia rants. "All boys have inner pussy's,"

"And all girls have inner dicks!" I add.

Deidara drops me and lays on my bed.

"I'd rather stay out of it, hm."

"Your taking up all the room!" I whine. "Move or I'll sit on you!"

Nothing.

I take my promise and sit on his chest.

"Why's your tounge so long?" I question.

"Shut up, hm. Trying to sleep."

"So, what do you do with those hands?" I tease.

"Shut. Up."

"Do you blow yourself to sleep everynight?" I continue.

"What don't you get by shut up!" He snaps. "Shut up, hm! Shut up!" He starts choking me.

I wrap my hands around his neck and choke him back.

Flavia cheers us on.

"What the hell is goiong... On..." Naruto barges in.

Flavia pulls him in and closes the door.

"Why is there Akatsuki in here?" Naruto questions.

"No *hack* reason!" I struggle to breath.

I let go of the blonde, he let's go of me.

"Dei-da-raaa... That hurted..." I mutter, rubbing my neck.

He just grunts.

"Say sorry!" I grab hold of his hair.

"Hell no, hm." He grabs hold of mine.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

This is just to fun to watch.

They ripped strands of each others hair at pretty much the same time.

"Oww..." Kitsune mutters.

"This is insane." Naruto comments.

"Suck my inner dick!" Kitsune huffs.

"How do you even get to your inner dick, hm?"

"You've gotta stick-"

"Don't start, Kitsune!" Naruto huffs.


	23. Riddles

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Deidara flies us back to my house just in time to see a bunch of lights come on from Naruto's and my parents room.<p>

"Oh shit! I need to get in, FAST!" I hiss. "Everyones awake!"

"Don't worry, un. I'm good with speed."

Deidara goes super fast, then just STOPS.

I get thrown forward into the open window.

I roll to a stop, hitting the door painfully hard.

Flavia snickers and pumps her fist in the air triumphently.

I sit up, only to be hit by the door and knocked over again.

"Owww!" I whine.

"Naruto! You hit Yaoi-chan with the door!" Flavia laughs.

"Ahh! It burns!" I rub my arm.

"Heh heh, sorry Kitsune." Naruto snickers.

"Moom! Naruto's beating me with the door!" I call out.

"That's not something you hear everyday," Flavia comments.

"What's going on in here?" Minato yawns.

"Naruto hit me with the door." I whine. "Look! I HAVE THE BRUISES TO PROVE IT!"

"Naruto... Why'd you get her started?" Kushina sighs.

"My bad, Kitsune." Naruto rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

"Mah head!" I whine.

I catch Kushina and Minato giving me this weird look.

"What?"

"That's a lot of bruises from just a door." Minato points out.

"Well... The Akatsuki might've caused a few of these burises..." I admit.

"Which ones,"

"Uhhh, this one. This one. These 3. This big ass purple one..."

I list every bruise on my body, except for the new one that Naruto made.

"So every bruise on your body came from the Akatsuki." Minato grumbles.

"Except for this blue one on my forehead, from Naruto!" I protest. "Speaking of the Akatsuki... Can I go visit them?"

"NO!" The three exclaim.

"Why'd you even ask?" Flavia questions.

"But we gotta go save Garret!" I add. "We need to bring him back!" 

* * *

><p>So here we are, back at the entrance to the Akatsuki base.<p>

But it was totally emptied and cleaned out.

"WHAT DA FUCK!" I screech. "WHERE'D THEY GO!"

"Search the place for clues." Minato instucts.

Our team consisted off Hinata, Kiba, Minato, Kushina, Naruto, Flavia, Sakura, and me.

"I'm hungry..." I announce, headed for the fridge.

"Your not gonna find anything." Sakura points out.

"Hmmm," She was right.

But I do find a note!

I look it over curiously, it had a riddle on it.

"Bend it over, touch your toes. Shake that ass for me." I whisper.

"Hey! What's this?" Sakura pushes the button on the stereo.

A kunai flies out the wall and attacks me.

I scream and duck out the way.

Then, Bring It Back starts to play.

I snatch the kunai out the wall and take the note off.

"Haha, that first one was for fun," I whisper. "But, go to the place where boobs bounce and ass shakes."

"What's that?" Hinata comes up to me.

"N-Nothing!" I exclaim. "Hey, you wanna drink?"

"No thanks,"

"Fine, be that way." I start shoving the note down the drain. "Flavia, c'mere!"

"Whaaat?"

"We need to get to the nearest strip club fast!" I hiss.

"...huh...?"

"Just come on." I drag her to the door, look around, then run out.

We dash through the forest, the others close behind.

"LETS GET A HOTEL IN THE WATERFALL VILLAGE!" I scream.

"Yeah! I'm tired! And hungry!" Naruto agrees.

And so be it. 

* * *

><p>We sit around the single hotel room.<p>

"I saw a strip club on the way here," Flavia whispers. "Let's go."

I nod, "Mooom! Me and Flavi-chan's goin on a walk, ok!"

"Be safe." Kushina shrugs.

We get the hell out of there and run for the club.

"Wait, how do we get the next riddle?" Flavia asks.

"Ask around?" I guess. "C'mon, let's ask the bar keeper."

"Excuse me, have you seen a... albino dude, a blonde dude, a puppet with red hair, a guy with a lot of piercings, a chick with blue hair and a flower, a guy with a bunch of stitches, a guy with blue skin, a guy with an orange mask, an Uchiha, or a guy with green hair?" Flavia asks the bar keeper.

"Yes... To the.. Uchiha?" The guy mutters.

"Good. He said you had something for us?"

"What's your names." The guy looks around.

"Kitsune, the Akatsuki's Red Flash!" I announce.

"Flavia, just Flavia."

"Hmm..." The guy digs around under the bar and tosses us a necklace.

"Heeey, this is Itachi's necklace!" I realize. "What's it doing here and what does it mean?"

"I dunno, he just said to give it to you."

"That little weasel..." Flavia mutters. "Thanks anyways." 

* * *

><p>We snuck off, headed for the Uchiha compound as a wild guess.<p>

"I'm sooooo confused! We've searched everywhere and still NOTHING." I whine. "What could this friggin necklace mean?"

"Maybe... Maybe there's something on the necklace?" Flavia mumbles.

I squint at the necklace, using moon light to see, and I see NOTHING.

"GOD DAMN YOU NECKLACE!" I throw it down at the ground.

It breaks on a rock.

"Oh shit... Itachi's gonna kill me..."


	24. Honey, I'm home!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>"Oooooooooh, your in troooooublllle." Flavia points.<p>

"It was an accident!" I scoop the necklace up. "It's not noticible, is it? Only one of the hand-cuff thingy's broke..."

"Anyone would notice if their necklace lost a charm."

"Aw man..." I try and put it back together, using plant juices for glue. "Fucking necklace..."

"Hmm? What's that?" Flavia points at the stuff coming out the broken charm.

"I think it's... Gun powder?" I mutter. "Quick! Get something to light it with!"

Flavia stands back as I finish dumping things out, "Fire Style: Fireball Jitsu!"

I dive out the way as the gun powder shoots a message into the sky.

"Great job, runts. Now head for the spot where there was a final end." I read.

"The final end... does he mean that place where Sasuke and Naruto fought?" Flavia mutters.

"Well, where the hell is that?" I grumble. "We're never gonna find it! Never!"

"Quit being such a pessimist. It dosen't fit you." Flavia huffs. "Anyways, I DO know where it is."

"You do?"

"Yeah, but it'll take about 3 days."

I sigh as Flavia leads the way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We get there in about 5 days, cause we had to stop and eat and sleep and use the bathroom every now and then.

"Ok, where to lo-WOAH!" I trip and fall into a crater.

"Nice one, Yaoi-chan." Flavia teases.

"Shut up..."

We search ground level for five minutes, till we come to the conclusion that we'll have to climb the waterfall.

"Here we go..." I mutter.

"Up the cliff..."

"Gulp."

We make our way up as quick as we dared.

"Hey! I hear music!" Flavia laughs.

"We are fighting dreamers!" I sing along. "Fighting dreamers! Dun dun da dan dun da da dun. Olee ole ole oh! Let's go my way!"

We reach the top and see MY IPOD.

"OMG! MY IPOD! I MISSED YOU BABY!" I pick it up and see it on a youtube video. "Da fuck?"

An episode of Naruto was playing, it was the one with Hidan and Kakuzu fighting.

"Maybe... Maybe we need to go where Hidan gets buried?" Flavia mutters.

"WTF DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR THAT IS!" I growl. "Why do they have us running around so much!"

"Jusst come on."

"Stupid Akatsuki... We've been wandering around for almost a week." I rant. "We came waaay near the Sound village, only to go BACK to Leaf?"

"Uh-huh."

Naruto's P.O.V

"I can't believe they just disapeared like that!" Sakura exclaims.

"Where would they go?" Kiba questions.

"I have a pretty good idea where," I grumble. "They seem to love it there, even though they get hurt a hell of a lot."

"Hmm..." Sakura taps her chin.

Kitsune's P.O.V

I scream in shocking realization that we just walked in on the HidaKaku vs. Kakashi and friends fight.

"Shut up before they hear us!" Flavia scolds.

"My bad..." I peek out from behind my bush.

"I think it's near the end of the fight..."

"I has an idea!" I make a me clone to run in front of Naruto's rasenchuriken.

"That was a dumb idea." Flavia rolls her eyes. "Your probably killed Naruto."

"WHAT!" I screech. "OH NOES!"

Then there's an explosion.

"OH NOES AGAIN!"

Naruto and friends retreat, Kakuzu disapears into thin air.

We run for the Shikamaru Forest and wait for Shikamaru to leave.

"Ok! Let's dig him up!" I exclaim.

"Stop yelling!" Flavia starts throwing rocks out the way. "Before Shikamaru hears you!"

"Ok ok." I join her.

We eventually get Hidan's head free.

"What the fuck?" He raises his eye brow.

"Hey Hidan!" Flavia waves. "Hmmm, your in pieces..."

"Naw! He's all together!" I start picking arms and legs out the debris.

"Shut up." Flavia pulls out a scroll. "We'll just send him to Leader-sama."

"How?" I question, pulling out even more body parts.

"I put a seal on Leader-sama."

"THEN YOU COULD'VE JUST SENT US TO HIM!"

"Not really, I can only send things other then me and I didn't wanna be left alone."

"Fine."

I get the last of Hidan's body parts and set them on the seal.

"You owe me a shower." I grumble.

"Bye Zombie Whore!" Flavia giggles.

"What! WHAT!" Hidan growls.

With a poof, he's gone.

"Hey look! A note!" Flavia points at the VERY BOTTOM of the pit.

"...That's pretty far down..." I mutter.

"Go get it."

"But it's DANGEROUS."

"Go. Before I push you."

I shoot her a glare, but climb down into the hole.

"What's the note say!" She call out.

I snatch it up and read it aloud, "Make like pirates and follow these cordinates! 100 Steps to the West, 50 steps North!"

"...Wow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We come to a big stone tablet that was writing something.

"Oh great, a test?" I whine.

/What is two plus two?/

"FOUR!"

/What came first, the chicken or the egg?/

"THE CHICKEN!"

/If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees, does it still make a sound?/

"DUH!"

/Who are you./

"Kitsune and Flavia."

/Solve this puzzle/

"Your turn, Hentai-chan!" I announce.

She looks over the puzzle for a few minutes, then begins to slide the squares.

It takes her 5 minutes to finish.

There's a loud blaring alarm and a slip of paper slides out the rock.

"For once you used your brains, now go to the place where it always rains." I read. "So we did all that for nothing!"

"Yeah, pretty much."

~~~~~(One week later)~~~~~~~

"HONEY, I'M HOME!" I joke, bursting into the new base.

"The brats are here." Sasori announces.


	25. Camping here we come

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>I make myself comfy on the couch and make it look like I was sleeping.<p>

I wait a veery long time till something blackmail worthy comes around.

It was around Midnight.

I peek one eye open to see Kisame with Flavia's Ipod.

"I'm sexy and I know it," He says just above a whisper.

I smother some snickers and watch.

"Girl look at the body, girl look at that body, girl look at the body." He flexes his muscles to the beat of the music. "I work out."

I could feel my face turning red from not releasing my laughter.

"I'm sexy and i know it!" Kisame yell-whispers.

Gotta hold it in, gotta hold it in!

He soon switches songs.

"My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and damn right! It's better than yours!" He gets a bit more louder.

I am literally SHAKING with laughter.

OMFG its so hard to hold in!

He again, switches songs, "Put it down on me! Put it down on me!"

Ok, that's it.

I burst out laughing and Kisame freezes.

He glares at me and I run the hell out of there.

I burst into my room still laughing my ass off.

Well, my room is techniqually shared with Deidara but still.

"Go back to sleep, un." He throws a pillow at me.

"I-I can't!" I stop for a minute to calm my laughter. "Kisame-he-hahaha! He was singing in the living room about his-Hahaha! His-His milkshake!"

Deidara snickers, "Gimme back my pillow, un."

"You threw it at me, you come and get it." I tease.

Then he takes MY PILLOW.

"HEY! THATS MINE!" I jump onto the SINGLE bed and struggle to get the pillow.

"Its mine now, un." He turns over.

"Dei-da-ra!" I whine.

No answer.

I pout on the edge of the bed until I hear snoring.

"Hmm... Should I really?" I tap my chin. "No... But this might be my only chance! Don't do it! I will! He can't stay mad at me! Yeah, but he can mess with you back. So? Hmm, do it as a date! Like, take him out for camping or something! ...I just realized it, but who are you? Your self concious."

I've offcialy gone insane.

I snatch Deidara's pillow off the ground and give it to him, "Here. Now gimme mines back."

He chuckles, but takes the pillow anyways.

"There, now I can sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up at 5 in the morning and head for Pein's room.

"Leader-sama?" I squeak.

Nothing.

"Leader-sama? Wake up! C'mon Leader-sama, wakey wakey!" I shake his shoulder. "Wake up Leader-sama."

He growls at me and glares.

"Are you awake Leader-sama? Leader-sama. Leader-sama. Leader-sama. Leader-"

"What."

"Are you awake?"

"What do you think."

"No."

Pein sits up, glaring daggers at me, "What."

"Can we go camping?" I put my hands in a prayer position and give him puppy dog eyes.

"No."

"But whyy?"

"Cause I said so."

"But it's for my birthday!" I whine.

"Then choose something else to do."

"Look. It's either a male strip club or camping." I threaten. "And if we're gonna go to a male strip club, everyones coming drugged or not."

Pein pauses to contemplate this.

"Fine. We'll go camping." He grumbles.

"YES!" I pump my fists in the air.

"But, you have to get everyone else on track and you have to find the spot." "Fine, I can do that!" I huff. "Just give me a few days." I leave the room, forming plans in my mind on how to get everyone on track. I stop by Sasori's room, knocking softly on the door.

"Danna?"

"What, brat?" He swings the door open.

"Come camping with us on my birthday, please?"

"Why should I?"

"Because, it's either camping or drugged at a male strip club."

"I'll come camping with you when I see a pig fly."

"Pigs DO fly, see?" I use a transformation jitsu to turn into a pig with wings.

I start flapping frantically to keep aloft.

"...Fine..." Sasori grumbles, slamming the door shut.

I unpoof with a smug look.

"I'm undeniable," I go to the next room. "Kakuzu, I will pay you 200 dollars to go camping with us."

"400 and I'll get Hidan to come." He yawns.

"Deal." I open the door and give him the money.

He counts it all, then slams the door in my face.

The next room was Deidara, but I decieded to leave him for last.

So, I walk into Itachi's room.

"Itachi, I know it's 5:30 in the morning, but can you come camping with us?" I shake him awake.

"If Momo comes, then yes." He mutters. "Now let me sleep"

"If Momo co- HOW THE HELL WILL THAT WORK!"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"She went to the Light Side," I joke. "But seriously, I can tame Tobi, I can make bigs fly, I can even make Leader listen to me. But I can't get Momo here."

"Only if everyone else comes and you pay me 200."

I curse under my breath and give him the money.

"But hey, I'll be much more plesant if Momo comes."

I leave the room before I go completely broke.

"I'VE JUST SPENT 600 DOLLARS IN LESS THAN TEN MINUTES!" I screech.

The next room was Hidan's, but he was covvered. So I go onto Kisame's room.

"KISAME!" I plop onto his bed. "Please oh please come camping with us! Its for my birthday and I neeeed to camp so very badly! But Leader-sama I need everyone to cokme! So can you puh-lease-"

"Ok, I will if you would let me sleep." Kisame pushes me off the bed with his foot.

I quietly cheer and move on to Tobi.

"Hey! HEY TOBI!" I scream. "We're going camping!"

"Where at?" He asks.

"I dunno, I'm still getting members on track." I shrug.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit in front of the market, looking through hundreds of pamhplets for camping.

"Hey girl, you've been sitting here for an hour now..." The shop keeper comments. "Are you gonna buy something?"

"I'll buy this banana." I toss him the money and pick up a banana.

He then leaves me alone to look through more pamphlets.

"Kitsune, un?" Deidara taps on my head. "Why're you... Here?"

"I'm looking for good camp sites." I mutter. "Who told you I was here?"

"Tobi, un."

"Well, this is proving to be really hard." I explain. "I'm stuck on these 3 camp sites, so which one do you like?"

I hand him the three pamhplets.

He looks them over for a few minutes, before choosing the "Lost" pamhplet.

"I like this one, un." He hands it back to me. "Lot's of space and a lake."

"THANKS! MY BIRTHDAY SHALL BE THE BEST!" I cheer.

"Birthday, un?"

"Yeah, I wanna go camping for my birthday." I nod, hugging the pamhplet like it depended on my life.

"Happy Birthday, Kitsune." Momo appears out of nowhere. "I reaaaly like camping, and I miss the others."

"Well... Then welcome back I guess?" I shrug.

This was a semi-apology... We still had things against each other.

"Deidara, do you know the way back to the base?" Momo turns to said blonde.

He nods in reply, then leads the way.

I catch him mutter something about "awkwardness".

~~~~~~~~~

"Itachi, you gotta be pleasant! Momo's coming with us." I announce boredly.

"Oy! Kitsune! I hear your paying people to come camping with us!" Flavia teases.


	26. Happy BIrthday, Kitsune!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Flavia's P.O.V<p>

Momo and Kitsune were sent out to collect water and firewood.

There exact words were: "Why do we have to do everything?"

BUT, they didn't set up camp AT ALL.

And we were running low on wood.

"Ah, my little maniacs..." I smile to myself.

"Maniacs is right." Kakuzu rolls his eyes. "It's a wonder how there parents dealt with them."

"Well... They weren't always like this." I shrug. "They used to be fairly calm."

"Woah! The little monsters were sane at some point in there life?" Kisame gets a fake-shock look.

"Yeah. Momo and Kitsune are out of balance. Everyone has basically the same layout for balance in mind." I shrug. "BUt onw, they're just bipolar and unbalanced..."

"How'd it get that way?" Pein asks.

"To make a long story short, they were some pretty bad orphans..."

"WAtcha talking about?" Kitsune skips into the clearing.

"You don't need to know," Sasori chuckles.

"Meany." She pouts. "Why won't you-"

"Kitsune, you want some marshmallows," Pein changes the subject.

"Ooooo! Marshmallows! Gimme gimme gimme!" Kitsune chases Pein around for them.

"Nope, you don't get any," He teases, tossing the bag to Deidara.

"Guys! Your so mean!" She whines, now chasing after the blonde.

Deidara throws the bag to Hidan who throws it to Konan who throws it to me etc. Etc.

"Agh! You guys are messed up!" Kitsune pouts. "You ate all the marshmallows!"

"Nah, there's one more, un." Deidara waves the last marshmallow in the air.

"Don't be that way!"

"What way, un?"

"It's mine! I bought em!" Kitsune fails at getting the marshmallow.

Deidara pops it in his mouth at the last minute.

"NUUU! HE ATE IT!" Kitsune rolls off the blonde and pouts inside the girls tent.

There were actually 4 tents.

One was for girls and it was baby blue and took up half the big ass clearing.

The other 3 was a bit smaller than the girl tent and for the boys.

Momo chuckles, "She looves her marshmallows."

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I pout on my air matress in the tent, my want for a marshmallow still strong.

Konan crawls in not to long later, "You ok, Kitsune" She snickers.

"Yeah... Kinda." I whine. "But I wanted a marshmallow!"

"Here." She tosses me a marshmallow out her pocket.

I immdiatly pop it into my mouth, "Thanks Konan-chan!"

I hug her, then peek out to see what the others are doing.

Hm, nothing of intrest.

"Kitsune and Deidara sitting in a tree, doing something the shouldn't be," Konan teases.

"Konan!" I turn super red.

She laughs at my expression.

"Oh! I gotta super secret question!" I lean close to her ear. "Is Pein your bitch?"

There's a 3 second silence, then Konan bursts out laughing.

She was almost ROFLAO-ing.

I leave her at that and lay down on my "bed".

Konan soon does the same.

Flavia and Momo crawl in and kick off their shoes.

"Good night guys!" Momo giggles. 

* * *

><p>I wake up at about 6am, then wake up the other girls.<p>

"C'mon guys! Time to go for a hike!" I shake them awake one by one.

They yawn and lay there for a few minutes. 

* * *

><p>We scale the cliff side the old fashioned way:<p>

With gloves and cracks in the rocks.

I had pulled my hair into a ponytail for the duration of the trip.

"How can you have so much damn energy?" Konan sighs.

"I always have energy on my birthday!" I laugh. "It's the best ddaaaay eeeeeverrrr!"

"Best day ever!" Momo chimes.

"Mr. Sun came out and he smiled at me!" I push hard on a crevice and get an extra boost.

"Said it's gonna be a good one just wait and see!" Konan catches up with me.

"Jumped outta bed and I ran outside!" Flavia gets right behind us.

"So let's chill out it's party time!" Momo speeds up a bit.

"Cause it's the beeest daaaaay eeeeveeerr!" I sing.

"Beeest day eeeveeer!" Konan does background.

We soon reach the top, looking out over the camping grounds.

"What a view..." Flavia sighs. "I love it!"

"Where to next, birthday girl?" Konan teases.

"Hmm, wanna go swimming?" I pull off a thick piece of bark. "We can slide right down."

"I'm not getting on that death trap!" Momo protests.

"Don't be such a baby!" Konan makes Momo sit down in front of her.

We set off down the smoother side of the hill made of mostly dirt.

We were leaving a big ass dirt cloud behind us.

"This is sooo cool!" Flavia calls out over the wind.

"How do we stop?" Konan realizes.

We go silent for a while.

"We can't stop, can we?"

I shake my head no.

We scream out loud as we leave the dirt and end up in the forest knocking into trees every now and then.

A certain tree root knocks us off the tree bark and into the air.

"I'M QUEEN OF THE WORLD!" Momo shouts in mid-air.

We skid to a stop and lay in a tangled mess on the ground.

"This looks like a game of Twister gone bad." I comment.

"Let's see here, your arm is on my face and your foot is on Konan's head..." Flavia chuckles. "Pretty flexible."

"Not really, it hurts."

We manage to untangle ourselves from each other.

"Now let's go swimming!" Flavia cheers.

"Naked?" Konan questions.

"Psh, we're all girls here." I shrug. "Now let's go!"

I keep walking until I see the lake.

I strip down and jump onto the rope swing.

"COWABUNGA!" I shout, splashing into the water.

"JERONIMO!" Flavia shouts next.

"CANNON BALL!" Momo cannon balls in, almost hitting me.

"FUCK YEAH!" Konan dives right in.

We burst out in a fit of giggles and just float around lazily.

We swim to the middle of the lake and just relax.

A boat slows down next to us.

It was Kiba, Hinata, Chouji, Shikamaru, Ino, and Kurenai.

We stare for a few minutes until the boys start blushing.

"Quit staring!" Momo snaps.

"Kiba's gotta booooner." I joke.

He glares and blushes more, "So Kit, what're you doing here?"

"Camping with friends." I shrug. "Swimming naked."

"Hey Kitsune, you know these people?" Konan asks.

"Yeah, they're from Konoha." I shrug.

"Well... Enjoy your camping..." Hinata shrugs.

"Hey Hinata!" I call out.

"Y-Yeah?"

"We're still best friends, right?"

She nods her head and smiles huge.

"Race ya to shore!" Flavia challenges. "That one!"

"Ready set go!" Momo splashes off.

"Hey, can we get a ride?" I ask as Flavia splashes off.

"Sure, to that shore right?" Kurenai smirks.

Me and Konan climb aboard, covering ourselves awkwardly.

They drop us off quickly, then speed off.

"We win!" I laugh as Momo and Flavia surface.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

Konan and I share a look, then sit on the shore, halfway submerged in the water.

"Ah, what a wonderful day." I sigh. "We climbed, we crashed, we swam, and then we can go back to the site and have raosted weenies!"

Momo and Flavia burst out in snickers.

"Shut up! That would hurt!" I throw a piece of grass at them.

"But still!" 

* * *

><p>We head back as the sun begins to set.<p>

"Sup, guys." Konan waves.

"I told you she's turning into one of them." Pein grumbles.

"What's that spose to mean?"

Pein sighs and rolls his eyes.

We sit around the fire(except for Momo who fell asleep in the tent).

"Hey Dei-kun! Let's go on a late night walk!" I whisper in his ear.

"Hm?"

I give him a pouty face.

"Fine, let's go, un."

Flavia comes out the tent just then, and I quickly get us out of there.

"Where'd the blonde and red-head go?" She questions.


	27. Gather round the campfire!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>We were pretty deep in the forest.<p>

_Shit..._

"Dei-Da-Ra... I think we're lost..." I mutter.

"How... How do you get lost at a camp site, un?"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"I'm not yelling, un."

"You were."

"So, how do we find our way back, un?"

"Psh. Well I can't see in the dark, and that's probably the problem!"

-.v

**Flavia's P.O.V**

"Heey, did they go off in the woods togetehr?" Momo giggles. "How long, Flavia-chan?"

"I say... 5 to 10 minutes!" I laugh.

"What'r eyou guys talking about?" Kisame raises his eyebrow.

"Kitsune has NO sense of the direction in the dark." Momo explains. "And when she's in the dark... she's much more... uh.."

"_**Coff, coff-**_horny-_**cough!" **_I add helpfully. "That blonde... Hmm."

"You know, this would've been useful info before we came here." Pein sighs. "Explains why she wanted to bring us to a male strip club."

"Ah yes, the place where you can get away with anything." I chuckle.

"Why didn't you just bring her to a male strip club?" Momo brushes her hair, gets bored, and deciedes to brush Itachi's hair.

"Because. I didn't. Know." Pein growls.

"Ah well, we'll see them both in the morning."

"And Kitsune can go HOURS." I chuckle darkly. "You guys should be happy she fell for Deidara, or she would've randomly chosen someone!"

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

Deidara fell asleep during our break.

"Heeey, Deidaaaarraaa~!" I sit on his chest. "WAkeey waaaakeeey~!"

"Hmm?" Deidara opens one eye, tiwtches, then steals a response from my head. "RAPE, UN!"

"IT'S NOT RAPE IF YOU DON'T WANT IT!"

"YES IT IS!"

"I AM NOT A RAPIST!"

"SUUURE, UN! YOU JUST _HAPPENED _TO WANT TO GO CAMPING AND BRING ME OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF _NOWHERE, _UN!"

"...THAT PART WASN'T PLANNED, DAMNIT!"

"Sure it wasn;t, un."

"SHUT UP AND TAKE OFF THE DAMNED PANTS!"

"See? Now it's rape, un!"

"...Shut up Deidara..."

"You know I'm kidding!" He flips me onto my back. "You could've just asked,"

"You were sleeping," I pout.

* * *

><p>I wake up in the morning under a friggin tree dropping its water on me.<p>

"Damn tree!" I sit up and strecth. "C'mon Deidara, get up!"

"Why should I, un?"

"Cause we have to go back to camp, duh." I start puting my clothes back on.

"I'm tired,"

"Cause I'm _experienced_,"

"Cause you did 49 other people, un." He sits up with a pouty look.

"Shut up, I'm not all worn out! I've _done _people, but not many have done me!"

"What's that mean, un?"

I whisper the answer in his ear.

"Ohhh..."

"Dumb blonde." I teases, patting his head. "Heh, I'm not usually uke... hmm... I just got topped by an idiot..."

"Just cause I'm blonde dosen't mean I'm an idiot, un?" Deidara crosses his arms.

I put my finger in his face and move it around real fast.

And he follows it.

"You are an idiot." I laugh, pulling him to his feet. "Let's go!"

"Yeah yeah."

* * *

><p><strong>OK, I've been updating fast in hopes of getting a christmas special in! Hmmm... teh Akatsuki celebrating Christmas? ...Scary shit... HAHAH! REVIEW!<strong>


	28. Dinah

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>We walk back home, exaushted.<p>

"So, un." Deidara turns to me. "How many people have you dated before me, un?"

"How many people have YOU dated?" I shoot back.

"I asked first, un."

"So? I asked second."

"Just answer the question."

"Did you mean people overall, or just boys?"

"...People overall, un?"

"Ok, I've dated... 30 boys and 19 girls." I sigh.

His eyes widen, then he glares, "FORTY-NINE before me?"

"What! What's the big deal?" I hold my hands up defensively.

"FOURTY NINE IS THE BIG DEAL, UN!"

"Psh, well you asked!"

"Ya could've just lied, un."

"Oh yeah? Well how many have YOU dated before me?"

"Twenty-something, un."

"...Well then..." I cross my arms. "You still don't have to freak out."

"Your only 15, how do you date 49 people, un?"

"Hey, a year is 365 days! That means a boy or girlfriend every month or so!"

"I bet your not a virgin either, un."

"..."

"Of course, how many?"

"Stop asking how many! It's just making you mad!"

"It's a lot isn't it, un."

"Pfft! Why do you just assume- psh! I haven't-Pfffft!" I sputter. "I bet you- Pft! Hah! Pssshhh!"

"If you tell, I'll tell."

"You first!"

"No you, un!"

"You!"

"Just say it on three!" Hidan snaps. "One Two Three!"

"15."

"17, un."

Cue stares of shock.

"DAYUM!" Flavia gasps. "That's one for every year!"

"Shut up!" I snap.

"But they can't have sex when they're 12 or less." Itachi points out.

"Then, about twice a year or so." Flavia mutters.

"Gah! Stop talking about it!" I throw pinecones at everyone talking about it.

"15 outta 49." Momo teases.

"Shut up!" I growl.

"That means Deidara's number 50!"

"Ugh!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally back at the base.

"Uh-guh." I whine.

"Uh-guh." Momo joins in.

"Uh-guh." Flavia.

"Uh-guh."

"Uh-guh."

"Uh-guh."

"Uh-guh."

"Uh-guh."

"Uh-guh."

"STOP IT!" Pein snaps.

"..."

"Uh-guh." I get the last word... Er, sound.

He glares daggers at me.

"One. Last. Chance." He growls.

"..." I give him a biig goofy grin. "Uh-guh."

THUMP!

"AGGHHH! HEEEELP!"

Pein was on top of me and trying to choke me to death.

"Pein! Pein! Get off of her!" Momo tries to pull him off.

"She didn't mean it! C'mon, don't kill her!" Flavia tries to loosen his hold.

"UH-GUH! UH-GUH! UH-GUH!" I shout defiantly.

"KITSUNE!" Momo covers my mouth.

I flinch, "U-Uh-Guh!"

"Kitsune, shut up!" Flavia snaps.

My noises were reduced to gurgles and weak screams.

Black spots blur my vision and noises get louder.

"PEIN LET HER GO!"

A male voice, "Pein! C'mon man, let her go!"

"Pein! Please let her go!"

"Agh! Your gonna kill her!"

"What the fucks going on, un?"

"Leader-sama's trying to strangle the red bitch."

"And this is the... Living... Room..."

"...Is she ok, desu?"

"Um, ah, she's fine! Pein! Your scaring the new girl!"

There's a short silence.

"AHHH! DON'T KILL ME, DESU!"

"Now look what you've done, and you STILL haven't let go of her!"

"Pein, please let her go!"

And then I black out.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up on the couch, many many people looking down on me.

"What the hell?" I say, but it comes out kinda scratchy. "...Look what you did."

"Sorry, sorry," Pein grumbles after a punch from Konan.

"Whoes she, desu?" A girl who looked much older than me pops her head up.

"I know this isn't a good time, but Momo left." Flavia explains. "And this is Dinah."

"It buuuurns!" I hiss as the light gets turned off.

"Woah, your voice is scary, desu." Dinah flinches.

"It's not always like this, but I get hurt easily and SOMEONE fucked up my throat."

"And... Your kinda bruise-y."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yell(or at least try).


	29. Fail Mission

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Me, Dinah, And Flavia go on our mission of AWESOMENESS.<p>

"So Dinah," I cross my arms. "Who do YOU like?"

"No one." She crosses her arms back.

"Valley girl."

"What!"

"Valley. Girl."

"How am I a valley girl for not telling you who I like!"

"Because of the way you said it!"

"?"

"Like, oh my god, I would like, never tell you that!" I mimic her voice.

"I didn't even say that!"

Flavia facepalms, "Stop arguing."

"I argue all I want!" I throw a piencone at her. "I'm Kitsune, screw the rules!"

"Yeah, well Kitsune has a few screws loose if you know what I mean."

Dinah laughs at this.

"So, who is it? Tell m enow, tell me now, tell me now, you now your gonna break hon, yoiu might as wel just tell m enow." I poke Dinah repeatedly.

_**5 minutes later**_

"Tell me now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now."

"If you do that ONE MORE TIME."

"I'm a ninja! Watcha gonna do! Now TELL ME NOW!" I punch her shoulder harder than expected.

"OKAY! JUST SHUT UP!" She explodes. "It's Tobi!"

...

Dinah glares at me form my position on the ground, laughing my ass off.'

"Stop laughing! It's not funny!" She kicks me in the side.

I sit up, rubbing my side, "Love Guru is about to get to work!"

"What about me!" Flavia protests.

"You can be Fem-Cupid!"

"Fine."

"Uugh, this is why I didn't wanna tell you guys!" Dinah smacks her forehead. "Don't do a thing! No cupid, no Love Guru! No nothing!"

"Can we use arrows?" I ask.

"What! No! Are you insane?"

_**Love Guru is in session...**_

We set up camp in a clearing once the sun starts going down, due to my deprivation of senses when it's dark.

Which basically means, I'm the only one who knows how to get there and I have no sense of direction in the dark.

* * *

><p>I wake up in a birds mouth.<p>

"DEIDARA!" I screech. "I said to stop doing this to me!"

"Well, I didn't want you drooling on my head, un!" He teases.

I wipe some drool off my face, "I don't drool."

"Then what was that you just wiped off your face, un?"

"...clay?"

"Suuure, blame it in the blonde."

"Ugh, what am I sleeping on?" Dinah whines.

"Hey! Hey! I'm stuuuuck!" Flavia fake-sobs.

"Tobiiii, get them out please?" I sigh.

"Tobi shall get them out!" Tobi PRIES the birds mouth open and helps the girls out.

"GOOD TOBI!"

Dinah blushes and comes between me and Deidara... How dare she! We were talking.

I pull her back away from the crowd.

"Hey... How far are you in the manga?" I whisper.

"Um... To the part where Tobi comes in."

"..." I go into the forest. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT! HOW AM I SPOSE TO WORK WITH THAT! SHE JUST MADE THIS A MILLION TIMES HARDER!" I walk back to Dinah. "What do you know about him?"

"Just the basics. Hair color, personality, et cetera."

I stomp off even deeper in the forest, "WHAT A HORRIBLE FANGIRL! DOSEN'T EVEN KNOW ALL THAT MUCH! HOW DARE SHE INSULT MY MATCHMAKING AND FANGIRLISM! BWAAAH!"

I come back to the group nice and calm.

Flavia snickers at my messed up hair and red face.

"Go Bwah." She says.

"BWAHHHH!" Me and Dinah comply.

This earns a weird look from the guys.

"Guuuys! We're hungy!" Flavia whines. "Let's go find some food!"

"Fla-vi-a?" I lean on my friends back. "Can you pweaase carry me?"

"No way!"

"Plllllease Flavi-chan?

"Ugh fine."

"YAY!"


	30. Love Guru and Fem Cupid

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>So we did that retard mission, and stopped at an Inn.<p>

"Hmm," I stare at the bed. "Me, Deidara, and Flavia will get this room, Tobi and Dinah share the other one!"

"How bout boys in one room, girls in the other." Flavia grumbles.

"Do you WANT the inn to explode?"

"Maybe." Flavia gets a sly smirk. "And you know you get off on explosions."

Dinah turns red as the boys usher us into the other room.

"I don't get off on explosions!" I snap.

"Yu-huh! When you hear an explosion you close your eyes and go Ohhh~! Deidara!" Flavia cracks up.

"EXCUSE ME!"

Dinah covers her face at all this sex talk.

"Yuuu-huh! You get all hot once you hear an explosion!"

"Flavi! Don't get at me over weird fetishes!" I huff. "Which I don't have!"

Flavia chuckles, "Suuure."

"Well what about you! I bet you've got a leather whip and chains hidden in your room!"

"Yuck! Yuck! I can't believe you guys are having this conversation!" Dinah covers her ears. "It burns!"

"Why don't you just go rape Deidara!" Flavia snaps.

"First off, it's rape if he dosen't want it! Then it's just violent sex! Second, cause I'm arguing with you!"

"Guys! Please stop being pervy!" Dinah whines, hugging a pillow.

"Fine." Me and Flavia grumble.

Things are silent for a few minutes.

"Kitsune's matchmaking is in session," I chuckle darkly.

"Huh?" Dinah stares naively.

"Phase one, get them closer." I mutter to myself. "Hmmm..."

"Kitsune, don't you dare!" She hisses at me.

"Haha, I shall!"

"Hmmm, how should we start it off, Love Guru?" Flavia laughs.

"Well, Fem-Cupid, she's the calmest out of all of us, which makes it a wonder how she and Tobi are compatable,"

"Fem-Cupid?"

"Love Guru?"

"You wanna just shove them in a closet and have her confess her love?"

"Totally."

Dinah shrieks and tries to get away as we grab her and drag her to a closet.

Flavia gets the easy job of retreiving Tobi.

"N-No! Put me down!" Dinah protests as her lift her up bridal style. "I don't wanna do this! This is sexual harrasment!"

"It's only sexual harrasment if you don't like it." I dump her in the closet with Tobi and lock the door.

"Kitsune!"

"Er... Flavia." I call for her attention. "Do you mind..."

"Nah, I can sleep by myself! Imma big girl! But if Tobi and Dinah escape, or something else bad happens, I'm barging in on you!"

"Meh, at least your truthful." I disapear into Deidara's room.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

Dinah had quieted down after 20 minutes, but that's when Deidara and Kitsune started up.

"Yo-You! Why're you always eating my food!"

"Because I like your reaction, un."

"You've tainted my food!"

"You say that, but-"

"DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"

"Haha fine, I won't, un."

Gosh. Such a bipolar couple.

I open a window to let some fresh air in as Deidara and Kitsune get loud enough, the whole hotel could probably hear them.

"Nah! Nah! Nah! You kicked me! Don't try and hit me with that lovey dovey crap!"

"I kicked you cause you slapped me, un!"

"I slapped you cause you touched my boob!"

"So?"

"My boobs are off limits!"

"Prude, un."

"What! I'm not a prude!"

"Yes you are, un." I could hear the pout in his voice.

I turn on the TV to try and drown them out.

"Ugh, I'm taking a shower!"

"Can I join, un?"

"Wha... No! Th-That's um..."

I shove my face in a pillow to keep my laughs from getting to loud.

**Dinah's P.O.V**

It's NOT plesant to be shoved in a closet with another person for 30 minutes.

But then again, Flavia and Kitsune aren't very plesant people.

"Bitches." I grumble, planning there punishment in my head. "Yes... Yes... Make them wish they were blind AND deaf..."

"What're you talking about, Dinah-chan?" Tobi asks.

"Flavia's and Kitsune's death." I growl. "Hmm, maybe... Ohhohoho, I figured out something worse than death!"

"Which is?"

I whisper the idea in his ear.

"That's a good idea." He comments.

"Now I just gotta get Itachi on my side..."

"Yeah! Yeah!" Flavia cheers. "Slam the chair over his head! Yeah! Take that bitch down! Pin him! Pin! Him! Aww man dude, ya should've pinned him when you had the chance!"

I think she's watching wrestling.

_**~~~(The next morning)~~~**_

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

We arrive at the base in a timely fashion, exaushted and a bit irratable.

And I was given the shock of my life.

Tobi revealed his identity.

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! TOBI REVEALED HIMSELF!" Garret exclaims. "Or uh, Madara!"

Me and Flavia were on a whole other subject.

"Nah, he's not much of an Uke type." I shake my head.

"Why not?"

"Because he's the powerfulest ninja in the whole damn show with a split personality."

"It's not a split personality." Flavia corrects. "It's an alter ego."

"Yeah, and that alter ego just died."

"Why you gotta put it that way?"

"Cause I'm evil."

Flavia bursts out laughing, once calmed down, we begin the meeting.


	31. Madara bashing

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>May the meeting begin.<p>

Madara was saying something about Project Moon or whatever, and Jibu.

Dinah was practically drooling at the now maskless "Tobi".

Deidara was in a shocked state.

Garret was just bored.

I raise my hand and wave it in the air.

Madara stops and stares at me, "Yes. Kitsune?"

"This is the most retarded plan I've heard all month."

"Come again?" He glares.

"C'mon Madara-chan! Use your brain! Are you trying to obtain world domination, or destroy the entire human race!" I wag my finger at him. "How are people gonna eat? And sleep? ...How will they reproduct!"

Madara keepshis stare even, "Continue."

"And, like, what if it's cloudy! Or if it's raning! Then no one could see the moon! But what if there's a lunar Eclipse, eh? You could be doing your genjitsu when all of a sudden, this lunar fucking eclipse comes floating by!"

"Well, do you have any better ideas."

"One second please." I go to the kitchen to grab a bag of chips, then run back to the meeting room. "Well, you could always split the world into continets like we did back on Earth. Or, or, or! You could hold the village leaders hostage and enslave the human race! Ooorrr, you could unleash Jubi on the world while us Akatsuki members(and anyone family related) escape temporarily while Jubi reaks havoc, OR we could take over Konoha and see how it goes from there! You could always take control of Kyuubi and use him as needed-"

"Kitsune."

"Yeah."

"Time out! Now!"

"What did I do!"

"Kitsune, you should know this rule;you created it." Flavia 'tsk's at me. "No one is to be eviler than Madara."

"But they were all great ideas!" I whine. 

* * *

><p>"You have Kyuubi, Kitsune?" Madara walks up to me.<p>

"Hm? Yeah. I share with Naruto. We made and agreement a few months back,"

"An agreement?"

"I said I'd take a piece of Kyuubi off of him, and I could stay here as long as I want."

"Hm... I guess we could extract it from you."

"Hell no!" I throw my shoe at him. "I'm not gonna die for your failure of a plan!"

"It's not a failure."

"Yes it is! Every single Akatsuki dies cause of this retard plan! What is WRONG with this world?"

"I thought the moon was just a big rock?" Flavia adds helpfully. "And how exactly would you get Jibu down?"

"Most people don't even WANT a biju in them! Yet, you want 9 of them!"

"We should take over Konoha!"

"Start a war!"

"Win!"

"Be rockstars!"

"Be bad ass?"

"You guys are idiots." Madara interupts our rant.

"I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I!" Flavia and I yell simutaniously.

"You know, it's not that bad a plan." Pein agrees with us.

"If we rule Konoha, can I be the Hokage?" I ask.

"No." Madara glares.

"But it was my idea!" I throw my other shoe at him.

"Yes. But I'M the leader."

"I liked it better when you were Tobi." I mutter. "I could abuse you all I liked."

awkward silence.

"I feel bad for you, Deidara." Itachi mutters.

**_CLANG!_**

I bring my frying pan down on the Uchiha's head.

He crumples to the ground.

"Psh, I should so be leader!" I brag.

"Yeah, you'd be a great leader." Pein rolls his eyes. "Until a squirrel came running by."

This gets some laughs.

"That's mean." I pout. "And I can't hit you, your one of the leaders."

"Itachi's awake!" Garret announces.

I turn around surprised.

Bad idea.

"OHHH! HE JUST SHARINGANED YOUR ASS!" Flavia laughs as I crumple to the ground.


	32. Merry Christmas Eve

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>It's snowing outside...<p>

"Flavia." I whisper, since it was 3 in the morning. "How long did Itachi have me out?"

"He kept you under genjitsu for 3 days, and you stayed sleep for another 3." She whispers back.

"How long has it been since we left?"

"About 3-4 months and 3 weeks."

I stand up and change into my clothes, "Merry Christmas Eve, Flavi-chan."

Flavia's eyes widen and she also gets dressed.

We disapear into the forest with our Akatsuki cloaks buttoned up(mostly for warmth).

"How bout this one?" Flavia points.

"No, that one sucks."

"This one?"

"Screw that tree."

"This one?"

"Perfect."

I do the handsigns, "Chidori!"

I cut the tree down at the base, Flavia catches it.

"We wish you a merry christmas, we wish you a merry christmas!" Flavia sings as we drag the tree home. "We wish you a merry christmas!"

"And a happy new year!" I laugh, kicking open the door.

We get a big pot and stick the tree in it.

"Dashing through the snow!" I get a bit louder, creating christmas decorations.

"In a one horse open sleigh!" Flavia strings popcorn.

"Over the fields we go, laughing all the way!"

"Hahaha!"

"Bells on bobtails ring!"

"Making spirits bright!"

"Oh what fun it is to ride and sing, a slaying song tonight! Oh!"

"IT IS 5 IN THE FUCKING MORNING!" Madara roars. "WHO THE FUCK IS SINGING!"

"Jingle bells! Madara smells! Pein just laid an egg! The Akatsuki mobile lost a wheel, and Kyuubi got away!" I sing teasingly.

A large group of people barge into the living room, staring at our christmas decorations.

"Merry Christmas!" Flavia laughs. "I mean, Christmas Eve!"

"What the fuck is christmas?" Pein growls.

"It's the time of the year when family gets together! They eat a large feast, give presents to each other, and spread joy and cheer!" I giggle. "And we're gonna celebrate it!"

There's many muttered no's.

"B-B-But..." I force tears to my eye. "It was gonna be the best christmas ever."

"No." Madara says firmly.

I give him watery puppy dog eyes and push my lip out.

After a few minutes of this, he just looked really uncomfortable.

"Don't you ever blink?" He looks away.

I widen my eyes.

"Maybe if you explain more on this chirstmas, we might be able to." He grumbles, awkwardly.

"SQUEEEEEE!"

"But if you make that sound again, it's gonna be a no."

So, me, Flavia, and Garret explain everything about Christmas to the not-so-jolly Akatsuki.

"No." Madara says at the end of it.

And I go into hissy fit mode.

* * *

><p>Ok, so I got what I wanted!<p>

Everyone left the house to go gift-shopping.

I wander around the plaza, looking for the perfect gifts.

I deciede to start with Sasori.

I go into this store that makes hand crafted puppets and dolls.

"Excuse me." I pull out two full body pictures. "Can you make a puppet of this one," I point to Sasori's picture. "And a doll out of this one?" I point to the picture of Flavia.

He nods, taking the pictures, "3 hours."

I nod and rush out the store, "Ok, how bout Hidan and Kakuzu..."

I walk into a weapons store, curiously, "Woah..."

My eyes turn to hearts at all the beautiful weapons.

I buy a spiky ball for Hidan, and more kunai and nunchucks for Kakuzu.

"Hmmm, what should I get Deidara and To- er, Madara...?" I sigh looking through millions of stores.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I'm such a great chirstmas shopper!

I've got every one a present except one.

Madara.

How do you shop for an insane asylum escapee with an alter-ego?

Sometimes, I swear, he was having to much fun being Tobi.

Hmmm, maybe I do know what to get him...

**Garret's P.O.V**

Shopping. Is. Horrible.

The only things that I knew were perfect for presents are for Konan, Kitsune and Flavia.

The rest of these insane criminals though...

I kick a wrapper across the floor irratably.

Some blonde chick bumps into me.

"My bad," I shrug it off.

She nods, then goes running off.

Ok, let's start small.

What would Hidan want for Christmas?

A weapon, a dart board, his own room, sex.

I'll go with a dart board.

I slip into the toy store, more ideas forming in my mind.

I think up something for Madara, Pein, Zetsu, and Itachi.

There's that blonde chick again.

A plastic ball hits me from behind.

A whip around and glare as a flash of red dives behind another counter.

I pick up the ball and chase Kitsune through the aisle's.

I throw the ball, but I miss and hit the blonde chick.

"Smooth." Kitsune teases, ducking out the store.

"Sorry," I sigh. "You can blame my idiot sister for that one."

"It's cool." She shrugs. "What's your name?"

"Garret, you?"

"Temari."

"Nice name," I chuckle. "Are you good with matching personality's to presents?"

"Who're you shopping for?"

"Well, my sister created this holiday, and its basically when you have a feast and give presents to others."

"Hahah, that sounds fun!" Temari laughs. "Sure, I'll help you!"

"Ok, the first one it a pyromaniac with blonde hair..."

**Momo's P.O.V**

Temari was telling me about this boy she met in the toy store.

"Yeah, that's nice Temari." I nod boredly. "What was his name?"

"His name's Garret! He even told me about this holiday called Christmas!" Temari explains. "You have a feast, spend time with family, and give presents!"

I stare in pure shock.

So Kitsune's bringing Christmas to the Naruto world?

"We should celebrate it." I state.

She gasps, "Really? You want to celebrate and have a party?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Well, it's gotta be done by tomorrow, cause today's christmas eve." Temari chuckles. "GAARA! KANKURO!"

The two males join us in Temari's room.

"We're gonna celebrate this thing called Christmas!" Temari cheers. "We give presents, have a feast, and spend time together!"

"Sounds... Nice?" Kankuro raises his eye brow.

I laugh, "I bet Gaara would be raising his eyebrow if he had any!"

I light pink tinge comes to Gaara's face, "I guess we could celebrate this new holiday..."

**Pein's P.O.V**

I have to say, this is the most retarded thing I've ever had to do.

And I have to put up with Kitsune, Flavia, and Garret.

"Pein," Konan shakes my shoulder.

Oh yes, we can't forget Konan either, who went to the dark(idiot) side.

"Pein look!" Konan shakes my shoulder some more. "We should get Kitsune this!"

"...An Easy Bake Oven?"

"Well yeah, you won't let her anywhere near a real oven."

"Fine, why not?" I roll my eyes. "Let's get Flavia that Play-Doh set."

"Hah! And you say you don't care about them!" Konan teases. "Flavia loves Play-Doh!"

I sigh, "What do we get Garret?"

"This." Konan pulls a new game system off the shelve with a grunt. "He keeps saying her wants it."

"Well, the brats are taken care of!" I say relieved. "Now for the idiots..."

"That's mean," Konan whines.

"Should I start referring to you as a brat, too?" I roll my eyes. "Cause your starting to turn into them."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are,"

She throws her shoe at me.

...

"And where have I seen THAT before?" I say sarcastically.

"Shut up and gimme back my shoe." She pouts.

"Nope." I pick her shoe up and throw it into the next aisle.

"My shoe!" She dashes away to retrieve it. "My baby!"

**O:_:o**

**Kakuzu's P.O.V**

"What do I buy a bunch of brats?" I grumble to myself. "Hell, I probably shouldn't buy anything."

"Kakuzu!"

Speak of the devil.

Flavia hides behind me, "Hidan's MAD."

"Do I look like I care?"

"He's stabbing people with heels..."

Da fuck?

I go into the woman's store to see Hidan chasing random ladies with self esteem issues with high heeled shoes.

"YOUR AN UGLY FAG! YOUR AN UGLY FAG! YOUR ALL UGLY FAGS!" He roars. "Except you." He stops and points at some random brunette. "Your a dike."

"Hidan." I throw a high-heel at him. "Stop terrorizing the woman with issues."

"They had it coming!"

"What are you even doing in here?"

He narrows his eyes and ducks out the store.

"Is it safe?" Flavia releases my cloak. "Can I shop in peace again?"

"Yeah, sure."

**Madara's/Tobi's P.O.V**

This is retarded.

I'm the leader of an evil organization for gods sake!

I shouldn't be celebrating some old fat guy.

Hmm, deal with Kitsune's screaming for 2 days or celebrate a weird holiday...?

At least it's not one of Hidan's holidays.

So what do I get these brats and bastards presents?

I was never the worlds best shopper...

What store to start at?

I enter the toy store ignoring the screaming kids(and Kitsune) wondering what to buy them.

Something catches my eye.

A teen whistle.

"Madara! I got the perfect things for christmas? Where're your bags?" Kitsune bounces around, candy high yet again

I blow into the whistle, and get a weird reaction.

Kitsune covers her ears and cringes, "Make it stop! What the hell is that?"

I just might buy this for me...

I stop blowing into the whistle and Kitsune rubs her head.

**Sasori's P.O.V**

"Danna, what do you think Kitsune would like, un?"

"Kinky sex." I reply bluntly.

Stares.

Hell, I was suprised that i even said that.

"Ok..." Deidara nods. "What about Flavia?"

"Seeing you in a dress."

"Next, un."

"Weapons."

I disapear into a store, leaving Deidara.

I know you've probably heard this a million times, but this is stupid.

I look through the electronic store boredly.

"This is hard." I bang my head on a shelf.

* * *

><p><strong>Merry Christmas Eve to all you guys! I'll post the next part tommorow, cuase, you know, that's when Chirstmas is! So, did you like it! LOL<strong>

**Take the poll on my profile! ^^" Then I need help thinking up prizes! OK! SO you must choose your favorite pairing! (DeidaraxKitsune, HidanxFlavia, ItachixMomo, GarretxTemari, or MadaraxDinah) and i want to give something to each one.**

**Prizes:**

**First PLace: _**

**Second Place: _**

**Third PLace: _**

**Fourth Place: _**

**Fifht place: _**

* * *

><p><strong>DeidaraxKitsune: 1 vote<strong>

**ItachixMomo: 1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia: 0 votes**

**MadaraxDinah: 0 votes**

**GarretxTemari: 0 votes**

**PLEASE VOTE PEOPLE! OH! AND REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW OR I WILL FORGET ABOUT THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!**


	33. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Kitsune's P.O.V<p>

Ah yes, Christmas!

So, I'm not spending it with family.

My family is in a place that I'm hated(by some).

At the time, we were outside playing in the snow.

"Pein! C'mon!" Konan pulls him outside. "Play with us!"

I create a snowball that was perfect.

"Konan, I'm not a kid. And neither are-"

I throw the snowball and it nails him in the face.

I couldn't help but to laugh, even though he was gonna bury me in snowballs in the next 5 seconds.

I run from Pein as he pelts me with a million snowballs.

My back up(Flavia, Garret, Konan) soon show up and help me out.

Hmm... Madara needs to be out here.

I disapear into the base and find him in front of the fire.

"Come play in the snow with us." I demand. "Where's your christmas spirit!"

"..." He glances up at me. "I don't like the cold."

"So!" I grab his arm and pull him out the chair. "Your just SCARED."

"What the hell would I be scared of?"

"Your scared I'm gonna kick your ass in the snowball fight!"

The Uchiha pride kicks in, and HE starts dragging ME outside.

He throws snowballs at me and I run and slip through the snow.

I trip and fall face first into the snow.

Flavia laughs, Garret helps me up.

I throw a few snowballs back at Madara and start running in circles.

SMACK!

I fall back as a snowball with a ROCK in it hits me in the head.

"Ok, who put a rock in the snowball?" Flavia demands an answer.

"It was meant for Garret." Itachi mutters, crossing his arms poutily.

"Argh!" I sit up, rubbing my head. "You know I bruise fucking easily! Your just adding to the collection!"

Flavia stares for a few minutes, "It's Rudolph!"

which basically meant there was a red mark on my head.

I roll my eyes and drop snow down the back of her shirt.

She squeals and starts jumping around trying to get the ice out.

Konan runs up and dumps a handful of snow on me, "I win!"

"Cold!" I throw handfuls of snow her way. "How dare you! I hope the snow rapes you!"

Konan snickers and throws snow handfuls at me.

~~~~~~~~

We sit around the table eagerly awaiting the dinner cooked by Kisame, Konan, Flavia, and Hidan.

"See?" I say to the two leaders. "Aren't you glad you came outside?"

Madara rolls his eyes, but had a slight smirk.

"Wait, HIDAN cooked this food?" Kakuzu shudders. "Do I really want to eat this?"

"Don't worry! I supervised him!" Flavia laughs. "Everything is fully cooked and not drugged."

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel SO MUCH better."

"Quit complaining!" I scold as the food is passed around. "Oo, steak... Anyways, before we eat, we have to list the things we're thankful for."

"Hm?" Konan stares.

"It's an orphanage tradition." I pout.

So as everyone finishes putting food on there plates, we begin.

"Pe-Leader." I cough awkwardly. "Why don't you start?"

He mutters something, then starts, "I'm thankful for this food."

I turn my gaze on Madara.

"No." He glares.

I glare back and pick up my fork and knife.

"I'm thankful that Kitsune isn't a cannibal." He grumbles. "She'd eat every damn thing in sight."

Next goes Konan, "I'm thankful for this food, this holiday, and this... Hm, for Kitsune's sake, I'll call this a family."

"..." Hidan winces as Flavia kicks him under the table. "I'm thankful for immortality."

"I'm thankful for money." Kakuzu sighs.

"I'm thankful for all this food!" Kisame chuckles.

"Oh! I'm thankful for this food, the snow, this holiday, and my life!" Garret laughs.

"Hn." Itachi rubs his arms, probably cold. "I'm thankful... For... Life?"

I shrug, "Sure, why not?"

"Haha, Itachi gets a pass!" Flavia laughs.

"I guess I'm thankful for art, this food, and Kitsune, un." Deidara mutters.

Sasori smirks, "I'm thankful for those brats finally leaving me alone, this food, and-"

"YOUTH!" Garret finishes for him.

"THE YOUTH! IT BURNS!" I joke, laughing.

"I'm thankful for my awesome friends and so-called family, my ninja-ness, and surviving all this!" Flavia cheers.

"We're thankful for food." Zetsu says evenly.

"Ok, I guess it's my turn!" I smile. "I'm thankful for my ninja skills, my life, you guys, my real family, and FOOD."

"LET'S EAT!" Hidan shouts.

And eat we do.

~~~~~~~~~

Oh man, I can't eat another bite...

"Mmm, I'm gonna sleep good tonight," Kisame sighs happily.

"No sleeping yet!" I climb to my feet, rubbing my bulging tummy. "We have to open presents!"

"Oh yeah..." Garret sits up from his spot on the couch.

So, we sit in front of the chirstmas tree in a half circle.

"Ok, who wants to go first?" I ask.

"I'll go!" Garret grabs his presents from the closet.

"Oh cool!" I stare at the BEAUTIFUL scythe in front of me. "It's like that one from Soul Reaper!"

Flavia got a slingshot with plenty ammo, Deidara got a slushie maker, Sasori got a deep fryer, Itachi got a set of knives, Kisame got a pet baby shark, Hidan got a dart board, Kakuzu got a knife set also, Zetsu got this fancy man-eating plant(lol), Konan got a make-up set(lol), Pein got 2 tickets to a beach resort(wink wink), and Madara got a super awesome Nerf gun!

"So Mada-" He cuts me off by shooting me with the Nerf gun.

"Hn." He smirks. "I think I like this gift."

"That was mean." I pout.

"I'm going next!" Flavia jumps up and pulls her gifts from under the tree. "Here ya go, Kitsune!"

I blush and stare at ground after opening the gift basket.

It had a Rainbow Dash poster, a leash, a collar, an awesome kitty hat, and condoms.

"Flavi-chan, that's embaressing!" I cover my face as she hands out the rest of the presents. "How dare you!"

I got bored as Hidan went to get his presents, so I started playing with a condom.

I unwrapped it, and started blowing it up.

Everyone was basically watching me with mixed emotions.

I tie off the condom once it get bigger than my torso.

"..." I turn to Flavia and hit her with the "balloon".

"..." She stares in shock. "Ahhh! There's lube on my face!"

"FLAVORED lube!" I add helpfully.

She shreiks and laughs at the same time, snatching the condom away.

She shoves it in my face, and I was shocked, so I kinda bit down on it.

It popped right in my face.

"And that, is how you break a condom." Garret adds.

"She popped my condom!" I throw the popped remains at Flavia.

"You guys are weird!" Hidan announces, dragging in his Santa sack. "Merry fucking Christmas!"

I'm tired of listing presents... I'll just list mine, Garret's, and Flavia's.

I got a pair of high-heels, Flavia got a WHIP, and Garret got a video game.

"See? I knew you loved whips, my S&M friend!" I tease Flavia.

"Oh shut up!" Flavia blushes. "I-I had nothing t-to do with this!"

"I bet it was on your christmas wishlist!"

Up next was Pein and Konan.

"OMIGOSH! YOU GUYS ARE SO AWESOME!" I huggle the Easy Bake Oven. "I LOVE YOU GUYS! ITS THE AWESOMEST THING EVER!"

Flavia opens her present, "Le gasp! It's Play-doh HEAVEN!" She stares doe-eyed at the Play-Doh set. "You guys are the BEST!"

When Garret opens his present, he's speechless, "Oh my god. It's... It's... The Q-box 3000,"

"It's Garret's god!" Flavia teases.

"Damn right!"

"My turn! My turn!" I announce as Pein and Konan finish giving out their presents.

I got Konan this fancy metal rose the size of a babies head and I got Pein a small dog.

At first he was shocked, holding the dog in his hands.

"His name is Chibi." I smile big. "Do you like him."

He clutches the dog and goes to sit down, leaving me confused.

"You made him really happy," Konan whispers in my ear.

Then, I give Madara the Mudkip plushie.

He is also shocked silent.

"What the fuck is that fugly thing?" Hidan snorts.

"DON'T DISRESPECT THE MUDKIP!" Me and Madara shout simutaniously.

Once I'm finished handing out presents, Deidara goes.

"...Where's my present?" I mutter.

"You get yours later, un." He chuckles.

Madara deciedes to go just then, and he gets me this AWESOME necklace with a charm(kanji for demon) on it.

"Awwz, it's a sexy necklace." I laugh.

Flavia got a rabbit, which she named Madara as a joke.

"You should be honored to be named after Flavia's bunny!" Garret jokes. "Even if it does die within a few months!"

O.e she's really bad with pets.

Garret then got this epic ass water gun!

"Gasp! That's the newest one!" I look it over. "Double shooter with a scope! Compartment for extra water, small for single-hand operation... It's a master piece!"

"You guys are insane," Madara mutters.

"Psh! We get if from you!" Flavia cuddles her bunny. "isn't that right, Madarina?"

I snicker, "It's a girl bunny?"

"Yup!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stick all my presents in my closet, locked in a trunk(except for my schythe) and go sit on my bed, messing with the dog collar, leash, and a few condoms.

What a wonderful Christmas.


	34. Christmas part 2

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Momo's P.O.V<p>

We were almost set up for christmas...

"Momo-chan!" Kankuro waves, pulling in two HUGE ice chests. "I got the drinks like you asked!"

I raise my eye brow and check to see which drinks he got, "Kankuro! What's with all the sake and beer?"

"It'll be a great party!" He snorts. "Beer and sake everywhere!"

"Fine, Fine. Did you get drinks for the little kids?"

"I took care of that!" Temari says, bubbly. "There's a whole kids area where they can play!"

"What's the drinking age here?" I ask as I notice a lot of kids in the room currently.

"10,"

O.o

"But, 11 is recomened."

"Well then..." I cross my arms. "Where I'm from, the drinking age is 18,"

"I pity you."

I laugh at this and finish helping set-up.

"Merry Christmas." Gaara cracks a small smile, then gives me, Temari, and Kankuro our presents.

"Oh cool!" I stare at the gleaming sword. "This is so awesome, where'd you get it!" I hug him. "Thanks Gaara-sama!"

"Great! A new music player!" Temari smiles brightly. "Thanks Gaara!"

Kankuro smirks, "Haha, thanks bro."

"What'd he get you?" I try and peek into the box, but he snaps it shut.

"You don't need to know." He teases.

I think long and hard about it, then turn red, then start laughing.

"Sheesh, you ok?" Kankuro continues. "You haven't drunk anything yet, have you?"

"No no! Some weird thoughts just came in my head!" I laugh.

Then, they wheel the pinata into the room.

"PINATA!" I cheer, grabbing a random stick and standing(5th) in line.

I twitch eagerly as people hit the pinata, ripping some of the streamers off(one boy got the top point off).

Finally, it was my turn.

They blindfold me with my own headband, then spin me around real fast.

I wobble a bit and almost fall over as people start cheering me on.

I take a swing and hear a satisfying thud as it makes contact.

I get ready for the second swing, but swing at an angle(from past experience).

Another thud.

"One more hit, Momo! Do it!" Temari laughs. "Beat it to the ground! Pretend it stole the last cookie!"

"That's... MY COOKIE!" I charge at the pinata and swing at it with all my might.

I remove the headband, throw it to the side, and join the scramble for the random treats that were(still) falling out the pinata.

"Kankuro!" I protest. "That was mine..."

"Hahaha, well it's mine now!" He gets to his feet and leaves the crowd.

He took the last alchohal strip!

Damn bastard...

I leave the crowd and grab a bottle of sake.

I've never actually tried it before...

Phew! That sake is some STRONG stuff.

Things were blurry, in and out, but I was still aware of things(unlike Kankuro and Gaara and a few other guys who got in a drinking contest).

I sit next to Temari on the arm of the chair and watch the scene unfold.

"Blackmail." Temari starts taking pictures with her new Ipod.

"Hehehe, you thin... You think we could get Gaara in a dress?" I laugh loudly.

"Ohhh! We should!"

And we did.

A pink dress with yellow lace!

And of course, you can't forget the pictures.

I take another sip of sake and almost fall flat on my face.

"Stupid!" I growl. "Watch where the fuck your going before I rip you apart!"

"Yelling at furniture again?" A cool and even voice teases. "I thought you grew out of that?"

I turn around, forgetting about the chair.

"Itachi-kun!" I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a sloppy kiss(where? I'm unsure... I think it was his forehead).

He takes me outside(and it felt really good in the cool air) and we stare at the stars.

"I'm curious.." I say as the alchohal slowly wears off. "How're the others doing?"

"The same, maybe a little more annoying..." He replies, closing his eyes. "Flavia's been mocking everything in sight..."

"Garret?"

"I think he found a girlfriend."

"..." I hesitate, closing my eyes. "Kitsune?"

"Leader's convincing her not to be a cannibal."

I snicker, "A cannibal?"

"Yes."

"That weirdo..."

"What about you?" He pokes my cheek. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good, been babysitting for more money."

"What happened to doing missions?"

"Gaara says it's not safe, something about the Akatsuki."

"Well you were apart of us at one point." He points out.

I sigh, "Don't remind me."

"..."

"What?"

"You cut your hair."

"Yeah, it was getting in the way."

"I liked it long..."

"It'll grow back." I assure.

"And what's that?" He points to the Hyuga symbol on my forehead.

"It came after a few months of being here in the Naruto world." I explain. "It's the Hyuga's mark... Not the main branch. That's why Flavia dosen't have it."

"Hn." He flops back down and closes his eyes.

"Don't fall asleep on me." I complain. "Am I really that boring."

"Just tired. Just got done celebrating Christmas."

"Heh, same here." I rub my head, feeling a headache coming on.

Itachi pulls a small box out his cloak, "Merry Christmas?"

"Thanks Itachi! ...But now I feel bad for not getting you anything!"

He shrugs, standing up, "I must go now."

"Come back soon?"

"Sure, why not?"

And then he's gone.

What has my life come too?

First I was a bad guy, then I was a spy, then a good guy, and now I MIGHT be falling in LOVE with a bad guy?

I was gonna lead a normal Kunoichi's life, but NOOO that just can't happen!

I go back into the party room, where everyone had either passed out on the floor, or went home.

I sit in a bean bag chair and open the gift from Itachi.

It was a locket(I think?).

It went around my neck, but when I open it, it plays music.

Within it, was a group picture of the Akatsuki.

Sigh.

Sometimes, I really miss them.


	35. Twins

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Kitsune's P.O.V<p>

I crawl out of bed from next to Deidara.

I put on some pants and a shirt and go downstairs.

Why have I been waking up so early?

It's 4 in the morning.

I sit at the table with a freshly made bowl of cereal.

"Yummy, yummy cereal." I sigh, letting the days before images flood my mind. "I never wanna forget yesterday... Everyone was so... So... Happy? At peace? Joyful?"

"What're you doing up so early?" Madara asks, joining me at the table.

"I wish I knew." I get to my feet. "Want some coffee?"

"Sure."

Things were pretty quiet as I made the coffee, passed it out, then started adding tons of milk and sugar to mines.

"You were kidding about extracting me, right?" I make sure.

"Yeah, of course... To many people became attached to you." Madara replies boredly. "And is that even coffee anymore?"

"Yeah, why?"

"There's more milk than coffee."

"And sugar, lot's of sugar!"

"I don't think you need anymore sugar," He chuckles. "You have enough energy as it is."

"I've got plenty energy!" I say. "Wait. That came out wrong."

"Sure did." He throws a sugar cube at me.

I throw one back.

He throws another.

I grab one and throw it at him.

This goes back and forth until we run out of sugar cubes all together.

"What a waste of good sugar." I mutter. "Maybe Chibi'll eat it."

"Yeah, if Hidan dosen't kill it first." Madara scoffs.

"You jinxed it!" I huff. "Do it! Do it now!"

He rolls his eyes, but knocks on the table 3 times.

"Better?" He says sarcasticaly.

"Very," I focus on what I would do today. "So, what's the plan now?"

"Take over Konoha, capture all biju-"

"Can you please not capture Naruto's Jinchuriki? Unless you find a way to bring him back to life of course. I mean, he's still my brother even if we are on opposite teams. And I don't want him zombie-fied like you plan to do to the rest of the Jinchuriki hosts, I want him 100% Naruto Uzumaki."

Madara rolls his eyes again, "We'll talk about that later. Anyways, then we'll take over the other countries-"

"And we'll rule the world!" I cheer.

"Stop interupting." He thunks my head.

"Ow." I rub my head. "So, if I can't be Hokage, can I be leader of SOMETHING?"

"You can be leader of the idiots."

"No! I'm serious." I cross my arms and pout.

"You can be co-hokage with me."

"Do I get my own theme song?"

"Sure."

"Yes!"

"What's this about theme songs and co-hokage's?" Pein yawns, also joining us at the table.

"Pein has sex hair." I whisper to Madara.

He snickers, but gets back to business, "Kitsune's being a brat and wants to be leader of something, so she'll be co-hokage."

"I feel so special!" I get another round of coffee for the 3 of us.

"Pein's second in command, Konan third in command, you co-hokage?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do you know what a co-hokage does?"

"Nothing perverted, hopefully," I chuckle.

"Your in charge of who to kill, what to destroy, and how we should conqour something." Madara explains. "Plans seem to come to you when your sugar-high, soo..."

"I like destroying things." I marvel to myself. "Best. Job. Ever."

"Is that all you got out of this whole conversation?" Pein questions.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"O-R-G-Y." Flavia whispers from behind the couch.

"You wish," I flick a sugar packet at her. "i bet you get off on those kinda things daily. Watching other peoples orgy's. Sickening."

"Says the girl who watched yaoi for 15 hours straight." Flavia teases.

"SHH! That's spose to be a secret!"

"To who? Your parents?"

"Maybe."

"Bitch." Flavia grabs a cup of coffee and sits down.

"Nu-uh! The only bitch around here is Pein! And Pein is Konan's bitch so oooh!"

There's a momentary silence.

Then me, Flavia, and Madara burst out laughing.

Pein crosses his arms and blocks out the conversation.

"Aww, he's pouting." Flavia points out. "Never seen him do THAT before."

"You haven't seen Leader do a lot of things before!" I laugh.

"That sounds WRONG."

"It's spose to,"

Konan also joins her so I get her a cup of coffee too.

"Konan-chan! Guess what?" I sip my 3rd cup of coffee. "I get to be co-hokage!"

"And what... Exactly do you do?" Konan teases.

"Not Madara." I laugh.

"That's enough coffee for you," Madara pulls my cup away.

"-"

"FINE! LAST CUP!"

"Yay." I chug down my coffee.

A small bark, and Chibi joins us.

"Hey Chibi! Do you want some coffee too?" I set my almost empty cup on the floor.

"Bad Kitsune." Flava picks the cup up. "Your gonna kill the dog."

"Hmph." I go and get the loud speaker as the clock stirkes 7. "WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

There's lots of groans of protests.

"While your at it, call a meeting." Pein mutters.

"AND COME TO THE MEETING!"

More groans.

"We have pancakes and baacon~!"

Some cheers.

I get the pancake mix and start creating pancakes.

"Kitsune, un." Deidara starts the coffee maker up. "How many cups of coffee have you had?"

"Oh, not that many!" I mix the batter extremely fast.

"Your shaking, un."

"So were you last night," I whisper teasingly. "KONAN! CAN YOU COME COOK THE PANCAKES!"

"USE YOUR EASY BAKE OVEN!" Konan shouts back.

"OK!" I get a powerful light bulb, and fill a small container with pancake batter.

Deidara had gone silent, a pink blush on his face.

I sit and wait boredly as the pancakes cook.

"Are you seriously making pancakes in that thing?" Garret yawns. "And what's wrong with blondie?"

"Yes I am." I have him start on the bacon. "And I just said a few words to him... Heh."

"Hmm? I'm curious!" Garret pokes me in my rib. "Tell me!"

"Nope, it's a secret." I retreat into the meeting room. "Pancakes are almost ready!"

"You aren't seriously making them in the Easy-Bake, are you?" Konan stares in bewilderment.

(Oh yeah! I used a big word! *Makes DJ sounds*)

"What's wrong with that?" I huff. "I can't use the real oven..."

"Kitsune! Your pancakes are burning!" Garret shouts.

"NOOO!"

Flavia's P.O.V

I look up from my play-doh set in time to see Kitsune screaming about her Easy-Bake pancakes.

"ACK! BUTTERFLY!" She screams again, hiding behind Pein.

"Your scared of butterfly's?" He questions.

"Spongebob traumatized her." Garret chuckles, bringing out slightly burnt pancakes and bacon.

"...Spongebob... Tramatized her." Pein raises his eye brow.

"Close up on a butterfly and she fled the room screaming."

"Is it-Is it gone?" She peeks out from behind Pein.

"Yeah," Itachi lets the butterfly out with a window.

"Phew."

"On with the meeting?" Madara says irratably.

"Yep."

"Ok good."

I block him out, considering I already heard and explained the plan, knowing my role.

I'm in charge of distraction and diversion.

Wow. Kitsune had a LOOT of coffee.

"Kitsune, if you drink to much coffee, it'll make you short." Sasori states.

"..." Kitsune smacks her forehead. "My favorite drink in the world has BETRAYED me!"

"I never said you had to stop drinking it, just don't drink to much."

"Oh, ok! That's better!" Kitsune makes herself another cup.

Madara snatches it away, "I said no more god damned coffee!"

"Wait! No!" Kitsune almost immediatly gets into begging position. "Pllease! I need my coffee!"

"If you want coffee, your gonna have to buy it. 5 bucks." Kakuzu joins the conversation.

"Stay out of it!" Madara pushes him away. "She dosen't need a drop of coffee!"

Pein sighs, "Just another ordinary day."

He throws a bunch of kunai up at the ceiling, and Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Sakura come crashing down.

"Please please please please!" Kitsune begs. "Coffee pleeaaassse!"

"Are you guys really criminals?" Sakura questions. "Cause it seems to me that all you guys is fight and get drunk."

"Sometimes we blackmail each other!" I add helpfully.

"C'mon! Don't be like that!" Kitsune jumps up and down trying to get the coffee.

Madara is enjoying this to much.

Ino throws a kunai at the two of them, "Would you PLEASE be serious for ONCE! What kinda leader ARE YOU!"

"He's a pshyco." Garret laughs. "Insane asylum... Uh oh.."

You know how Ino threw a kunai at the two of them?

Well, apparently, the kunai hit the cup and broke it.

Madara and Kitsune were now dripping wet in coffee(and turning a bit red, considering it was still hot).

We slowly back out the room(including the Konoha nins), leaving Ino to fend for herself.

"My... Coffee..." Kitsune growls.

"That. Perfect coffee." Madara also growls.

We shut the kitchen door and block out the crashes and Ino's screams.

"Your not gonna help her?" I ask.

"Well... Those two are kinda scary... Especially the red head." Kiba shudders.

"Call them off! Call them off! Please?" Ino shouts.

"Mmm, naah. You brought it on yourself." Pein munches on a piece of bacon.

"BITCH! THAT WAS THE LAST OF THE COFFEE!" Kitsune screeches.

"I'll get you some more!" Ino whimpers.

"You better." Kitsune pulls Ino through the kitchen(using her hair as a handle). "Go get some coffee. If your not back in 30 minutes, this-" She super glues, tapes, and seals a bunch of Deidara's clay to Ino's torso area. "Is gonna blow you to pieces."

Ino nods, petrified.

"Now go!"

Ino is out like the devil himself was on her heels(which he kinda was).

Kitsune lays on the table and curls up into a ball, "What do you Konoha people want?"

No answer.

"Eh, just wipe their minds." I pout. "But do it AFTER Ino gets back with out coffee."

"H-Here." Ino gasps for air, giving Kitsune the industrial size bag of coffee.

"Woohoo! Ok! Wipe their minds!" Kitsune makes her and Madara new cups of coffee.

"Finally." Madara does whatever hand seals and wipes the Konoha peoples minds.

Idiots(M and K)... Coffee adicts.

"Konan..." Everyone turns to the blue-haired lady.

She rolls her eyes and partial disgust.

She smacks the back of Madara's and Kitsune's head, "Listen here you coffee addicts! Get off your asses and stop drinking coffee!" She snatches the coffee mugs away. "So help me I'll-"

"You'll what?" Madara rolls his eyes. "Bitch about everything?"

Ohh, bad choice of words for him!

Konan punches him across the room, through the wall, and outside on the front porch.

Kitsune puts the coffee cup down and backs away with her hands up in a surrendering motion. The whole time, her eyes were like O.O".

"I thought so." Konan kicks the passed out Konoha people out and leaves them in a clearing. "If you want something done right, you've gotta do it yourself."

"Madara?" Kitsune pokes the motionless body. "You still alive?"

She's answered with a groan.

"Heh, poor guy," Garret chuckles. "Still hasn't learned."

"And just think, once he wakes up, he'll be up and running again." I add.

"I think being Tobi brainwashed him." Hidan scoffs.

"Possibly." Kitsune comes in, completely given up on getting Madara to wake up anytime soon.

She did, however, put him on the couch.

"Why so nice, un?" Deidara mutters, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Don't forget hospitibal," Itachi adds, helpfully.

"Exactly, un."

"Madara's my twin brother!" Kitsune laughs.

O.o

"Since when!" Garret throws his hands up. "And if so, why didn't anyone tell me!"

"PLAY twin brother," Kitsune rolls her eyes. "Gosh."

"I can't believe you guys didn't catch that," Konan also rolls her eyes. "Have you not noticed their age difference?"

"So, how was this decieded?" I ask

"Hm, I tell you later. It was his idea though." Kitsune shrugs.

"Le gasp! Is Madara is picking favorites?"

"I guess." Kitsune shrugs.

"So, your his favorite?" Dinah mutters, just now waking up and joining us(also with a hint of jealousy).

"Yup! I'm awesome like that!" Kitsune sits on Madara's chest. "Wheee! I'm on a... What're those things called that're at the grocery store?"

"I don't know, but you look like your having fun." Kisame laughs.

"Guess he's still alive." Zetsu mutters disapointedly.

"I can see why they doubt whether we're evil or not," I face palm.

"Kitsune, get off." Madara groans. "Your not helping my situation."

Kitsune moves to the couch, "Not my fault you got punched into-No! THROUGH a wall,"

"Shut up," He shoves her playfully.

Deidara twicthes(obviously jealous) sensing the obvious change in mood between the two idiots.

"We should watch a movie!" Kitsune throws her hand in the air, Madara dodging them so he wouldn't get hit.

"No." Everyone says.

"Watch a movie or face my frying pan!" Kitsune whips out the painful weapon.

"Ok, ok." Sasori huffs. "No need to bring that out."

* * *

><p><strong>Brotherly-sisterly love? lol not really. Explanations for THAT come pretty soon... Psh... twins.<strong>


	36. Banana's

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Kitsune's P.O.V<span>**

I get the first movie, _The Hangover_, and sit in Madara's lap.

Mostly because everyone took all the room on the couch.

He pushes my head down, so I lean to the side and watch the movie.

We laugh, we crack jokes, hell, we even bring out some drinks.

Not many though, so weren't drunk.

Madara's scary when he's drunk. O.O

Don't ask.

I get up to stretch as the end credits roll onto the screen.

"Next movie!" I hold up, _The Thing_, for all to see.

"Hell no!" Hidan throws a new movie at my head. "Play this one!"

"Ow! Ok!" I rub my head, inserting the disk.

I then make myself comfortable in Deidara's lap.

"So Hidan, what movie is it?" Flavia asks.

He shrugs, "Some kinda horror movie my last sacrifice had."

"Oh ok." Flavia pays attention to the movie once it starts. "Cool."

* * *

><p>I shreik and hide my face in Deidara's chest as an instinct.<p>

Pein glares(very scarily) at Hidan, "You deal with her."

What did that mean?

"Fine fine, whatever!" Hidan grumbles. "Why dosen't Blondie do it?"

"Cause 'Blondie' is going on a mission after this movie fest." Pein retorts.

"Damnit!"

Flavia was scarily into the movie, staring wide-eyed at the screen.

'No Cletus! Stop!' The woman on TV screams as a chainsaw comes on.

I can't help but to look, but I wanted to look away at the same time!

"Derp." Garret pats her head. "Light weight."

"Shut up!" I whine.

"Oh shit! Her head!" He points frantically at the screen.

"Stop it!"

"It's not my fault you have Night Terrors everytime you watch a scary movie." He mutters back.

"Stop talking about it!"

Hidan's movie soon ends, and THEN we watch The Thing.

I actually like this movie better.

"I think that stupid scientist is gonna die first!" I laugh. "So rude!"

"The apprentice is gonna die first!" Garret protests.

More movie passes.

"Everyone knows that skinny Russian dude is gonna die!" Flavia scoffs. "It's obvious from the way he's acting!"

"Noo, it's gonna be the fat Russian dude! Who speaks English." I huff.

* * *

><p>I flinch away as the fat Russian dude who spoke English gets eaten by The Thing.<p>

"I told you so." I tease Flavia.

Damn, these graphics are good for the Naruto world.

So, we finish up The Thing with the dog running away with the virus.

"Dinner time!" Konan cheers.

"Deidara, come get your mission." Pein adds.

Deidara groans as I get up and he goes to get his mission.

We sit around the table and eat ramen.

* * *

><p>I change into my PJ's and get comfortable.<p>

Flavia puts in ear plugs and is out like a light.

I sigh, close my eyes and drift into sleep.

Hidan's P.O.V

After only an hour of sleeping, that red-head bitch starts screaming bloody hell.

I groan and leave my bed before she woke up the whole damn house, and that bitch leader had my head.

I go in the room and find her being strangled by the blanket.

The fuck?

I untangle her and she calms down soon.

Jashin.

I lay back down in my room and go back to sleep.

2 Hours later, she starts screaming again!

"KITSUNE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I shake her awake.

She stares in shock, trembling, but quiet.

I leave again for another hour.

It as if her screams are getting LOUDER.

"FUCK THIS!" I grab my scythe and chage out the house.

Madara's P.O.V

Kitsune's screams get louder, Hidan shouts something along the lines of 'Fuck this' and the door slams shut.

I sigh and leave my bed, wondering what the hell she could be dreaming of to scream so loud.

Being a brother is hard.

No, scratch that, being a brother is easy.

Being a GOOD brother is hard.

I find her in the room, tangled in the blankets, face down, practically suffocating in her pillow.

"Kitsune." I roll her over so she would stop choking on pillow. "Kitsune,"

She opens her eyes, crying.

She sits up, looking around wildly.

"M-M-Madara?"

"Yes Kitsune? Why're you crying?"

She pulls me into a hug, "I dreamed you died!" She sobs. "But I don't want you to die!"

"Well Kitsune, I'm not dead." I pick her up and carry her downstairs. "Stop crying."

She's soon reduced to whimpers in 10 minutes.

I turn on the TV and lay down on the couch with her.

"Madara...?"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you won't die in this war,"

"..."

Can I really promise that?

"Madara~"

"Y...Yeah, Kitsune. I promise."

She nods and goes back to Good Luck Charlie.

* * *

><p>I don't know when she finally fell asleep, because I feel asleep myself.<p>

She didn't wake up though, so I don't care!

"Kitsune." I poke her ribs.

"Hm?" She twitches.

"Want some coffee?"

Kitsune rolls off the couch and bolts to the kitchen.

Then comes back to pull me into the kitchen.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Five." Madara replies boredly. "And no more scary movies."

"But I love scary movies!"

"Then what's with the Night Terrors?"

I shrug in reply.

It's a Saturday, so no one will be up for another 6 hours.

"Hey, Hey Nii-san!" I poke Madara eagerly.

He cocks his head to the side curiously.

"Nii-san?" He questions.

"Yes."

"I thought we were twins?"

"...Welll..."

"I'm kidding, what do you want?"

"We should go to a lake! And like, go swimming!"

"Can you swim."

"Yeah, I was on the swim team!"

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

><p>So we change clothes and sneak off to a near-by lake.<p>

"Ack! It's cold!" I run away from the lakes edge. "Why is it so cold?"

"Maybe cause it's a lake?" Madara rolls his eyes.

"But still! It's summer!"

"Your still getting in that water." He threatens.

"You can't make me!"

...

He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder and took me to the rope swing.

"Nooo! Madara! Put me down!" I struggle and FAIL.

"Noo, we're going swimming!" He teases.

"But it's cold!"

"And your bathing suit is to big." He pulls up my swim suit bottom.

"It's Konan's, that's why."

"Ok, Imma throw you in on three." He changes the subject.

"No no! Not ok! Not ok! Put me down!" I protest.

"One..."

"Madara!"

"Two!" He throws me in head first.

I shreik and grab onto the rope swing.

He gives me an annoyed look as I cling for life on the rope swing.

"Help?" I plead, just out of reach of the over hang.

"Oh, I'll help you." He starts breaking the branch.

"Wait! Wait! Ok! I'll let go! I'll let go!"

"Count of three, or I'll break the branch." Madara teases.

"Ok! One..." I stare uneasily at the freezing water. "Two..."

"Three!"

I shreik and let go as he tackles me, hard.

I come up sputtering, "Madara! What was that all about!"

"You wouldn't let go!" He splashes me.

"Stop splashing me! It's cold!" I splash him back.

"Your already in it though!" He splashes me even more.

"It's still cold!"

"So?"

"Stop splashing me!" I dunk him under the water.

Then, I swim away fast as possible.

"Yeah you better run!" He yells.

I make it to the chest deep water before he dunks me under.

I force myself above and splash him, "Violation!"

"You started it." He pouts.

"Wha...? Why's everyone pouting all of a sudden!" I huff.

"Hn." He splashes me.

"Baka!" I wade away, wiping water out my eyes. "Stop it! It's to cold, I'm getting out!"

I stop and pout as I catch my breath.

Madara jabs me from behind, "Well, where do you suppose we go?"

"A hot spring, we're already wearing swim suits." I laugh. "Those aren't cold at all!"

"Do you know where one is?" He follows me out the lake.

"No..."

"And you somehow thought you could magically find one?"

"Yeah,"

"Ok, NII-CHAN." He teases. "Whatever you say!"

"Can you carry me?"

"No,"

"But Nii-san!" I walk faster through the forest to keep up.

"What the hell?" A familiar voice retorts. "I don't remember giving birth to THAT."

"Hey, that's mean." Madara pouts. "I'm not a that, I'm a perfectly good him,"

"Ohh, this is awkward." I facepalm. "Hi mom,"

"Oh yeah, this is your mom," Madara mutters. "Kushina."

Kushina glares at him, "What're you doing with my daughter?"

I blush at how many things Kushina could've been thinking.

"Perv." Madara itachi-pokes me.

"Me? A perv? Lies!" I gasp. "And you really shouldn't be talking!"

"Psh, I'm no perv." He flicks me.

I flick him back, "Yes you are!"

"I may be a perv, but I'm not as ki-"

I slap my hand over his mouth, "Shut it! Shut it right now!"

He licks my hand.

"Eww!" I shreik, rubbing my hand on his arm.

"Your such a baby." He mutters.

"Excuse me! You never answered me!" Kushina shouts.

"Hm? We were just going for a swim but SOMEONE just realized that lakes are cold."

"Shut up!" I throw my shoe at him.

He catches it with ease.

"Now gimme back my shoe!"

"No." He throws it off into the trees.

"MY SHOE!" I screech, running to the basic direction of where he threw it.

**Kushina's P.O.V**

"Bastard." I growl. "Stay away from my daughter."

"I can't help that she'd rather be with me than you," He chuckles back.

"That's a lie!"

"Suuure."

"I swear, if you lay a finger on her,"

Kitsune comes back glowering, "You owe me new shoes."

"Kitsune, your shoe is right there." He points.

"...I knew that."

"Dumbass."

"I'm not a dumbass!" She laughs. "I'M TELLING KONAN!"

"Get back here, brat!" He chases after. "Don't you dare tell her!"

"I will!" She laughs like a maniac. "And I'm telling her you've been drinking more coffee!"

"You've been drinking it too!"

O.o

Madara=Evil?

Madara+Kitsune= ...?

And whoes Konan? His girlfiend?

I deciede to follow them.

"Brat! Don't you dare!"

"I'll do whatever I want, NII-SAN."

Ok then.

"Kitsune! You are dead! Don't make me sic Zetsu on you!"

"Oh yeah? Well I'll sick Konan AND Flavia on you!"

"Well I'll sick everyone on you!"

"Boob humper!"

"Cock sucker!"

"..."

"..."

The two burst out laughing, oddly at peace.

"Ok, screw the hot springs!" Kitsune laughs. "Let's just go home!"

e.o *twicth*

Damn child molestor.

"DEIDARA! YOUR HOME!"

Deidara? Isn't he that terrorist bomber?

Oh come on!

What have my little angels come to!

"Ohhh Konan~!"

"Shut it!"

"Mmmf!"

"Madara, what're you doing to that girl?"

"What's it LOOK like I'm doing?"

"Raping her,"

"Who asked you?"

"You did."

"Oh shit! What's going on here?"

"Eek! It's a threesome!"

"Kitsune, shut up!" Two male voices growl.

"Kitsune, who'd want to have a threesome with you anyways?"

"EVERYONE! I'M SEXY LIKE THAT!"

"Suure."

"EVEN SASUKE AND ITACHI WOULD HAVE A UCHIHA-SOME WITH ME! SO OHHH!"

I'm very disturbed now.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I continue arguing with other Akatsuki members, Pein and Madara keeping me from castrating Hidan.

"I'm sexy and I know it!" I protest with Flavia. "You know you think it too!"

"Your about as sexy as a banana." Flavia crosses her arms.

"Banana's ARE sexy! They look like dicks!"

"Ok, let me rephrase that..."

* * *

><p><strong>lol really long chapter. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!<strong>


	37. Coffee Addicts

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

**WARNING: Lots of OOC... =w= but then again, there's a lot of that in this story. (Right Madara-_Nii san?)_**

* * *

><p><strong>Kitsune's P.O.V<strong>

"Nooo! I don't wanna! Let me go! Let me go!"

Now, most people would think that was ME screaming.

But no, it was Madara tied up and being dragged across the floor by Konan.

"ARGH!"

Konan drops us off in the stupid class, "If you get kicked out or if you drop out, you WILL face my wrath... Madara."

"Why say my name?" He rolls his eyes.

We sit together in a circle of chairs.

"Class, we have two new members!" An all to peppy guy gestures to us. "May you please introduce yourselfs?"

"I'm Madara and I'm here against my will." Madara grumbles.

"I'm Jodie, and are you gay?"

A flash of white streaks across my face.

...

"OWWW!" I clutch my face. "Damn paper bitch, it was a question all of us wanted to ask and you know it!"

"Be good, or it'll be worse." Konan growls before leaving us be.

"I didn't think paper could hurt so much." I whimper, holding my cheek.

Madara chuckles, "Don't be such a baby about it."

I pull out my mini pen flash-light and shine it in his eyes.

"Don't fucking do that!" He snaps.

"Don't be such a baby about it!" I mock him.

"No fighting, this is a peaceful place!" The guy exclaims.

Me and Madara hold a glare(I blame the lack of coffee).

So we sit through the class, and everytime we had to partner up, we partnered up together.

"Madara, when's your last cup of coffee?" Sam(the peppy counsler) asks.

"1 and a half hours ago." Madara growls, getting irratable more and more every second. "And I need coffee NOW."

"What about you, Kitsune?"

"20 minutes ago." I answer before thinking. "...Oops."

"WHAT." Madara turns his glare on me.

"There was a coffee machine in the hallway!" I back away. "Sorry sorry! Ow!"

He pulls my hair and takes me into the hallway.

We both spend at least 10 dollars getting extra large cups of coffee.

We come back, getting jealous stares(and a few disapointed ones).

"Don't. Touch. Me. Coffee." Madara glowers at Sam.

"Madara, please. You must learn to control your actions."

He chugs down half the cup and replies much more cheerfully, "Fine."

We stick our coffee by the heater to keep it warm, and continue with the class.

A lot of you may wonder how the HELL we got addicted to coffee likes this.

Well for one thing, I'm a great nurse! Madara got sick(yeah, it was my fault) and I took care of him, pretty much running on coffee.

HE got addicted because he claimed he can handle more caffine than me, so natrually, a contest started. We forget whoes the winner... But hey, that's what got us hooked.

I think this world puts extra stuff in their coffee. *shifty eyes*

_**~~~(2 Months later)~~~**_

Garret jogs up to me, "Hey Kitsu-"

"What the HELL do you want?" I growl.

"Someone's suffering from-"

"Shut up!"

"Deprived much?" He chuckles, leaving me be.

I sit on the living room coffee table, hugging my knees.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, PINOCHIO!" Madara screams. "I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT! FUCK YOU WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY!"

I glance at a bottle on the side of the couch marked with 3 X's.

I take a sip and find myself in a temporary heaven.

"Madara! Madara! You've got to drink this!" I wave the bottle in his face.

He snatches the bottle away and takes half of it down.

He gets a bit more bubbly, "Mmm, good stuff,"

"Konan," Dinah goes over to Konan and whispers something.

"No no!" Konan takes the bottle away. "No drinking this!"

The stuff in the bottle lasted 5 minutes.

"Time for class!" Konan leads us there.

"Fuck that class." I glower.

"Damn addicts." Konan sighs. "Don't worry Konan, just 3 more weeks of their bitchyness."

We get to the class on the verge of ripping each others heads off.

* * *

><p>Things went well until Sam brought a cup of coffee to test our restraints and self control.<p>

Let's just say me and Madara had 0% control.

That poor classroom.

"Ohhh yes, great coffee!" I say, coming to the agreement to share the great coffee with Madara.

"Ah yes, everything is in focus again!" Madara giggles.

So yeah, you could say we were high off of coffee.

"That's it! Out! Out! Out!" Sam screams. "And by the way, the coffee has extra in it for punishment!"

Me and Madara shrug and leave the classroom, stopping by the coffee machine for a large cup of coffee for each.

"Hey Madara, you think we're forgetting something?" I sip my coffee.

"Nah, nothing important." He shrugs.

That's when we see a pissed off woman standing at the door way.

"..." Madara glances at me. "Shit, we forgot something important."

My mind was running slow.

"IT'S A BLUE HAIRED DEMON! RUN AWAAAY!"

And run we did.

"HAVE YOU NO SELF CONTROL!" Konan screams. "IT'S JUST COFFEE! I WILL RIP YOU APART!"

We manage to get out the building, hiding in the forest.

"..." We glance back to see Konan stomping through the forest.

So, of course, we start running again

* * *

><p>We ended up running to the boundaries of Konoha, scarmbling up a tree(still holding our coffee).<p>

"When I get my hands on those two." Konan walks right past us.

She soon leaves to go home.

"Konan's scaary." Madara shudders.

"That's my line." I mutter.

"Kitsune? Are you up a tree?" Naruto looks up at me.

"Uh... Oh... Hi Naruto." I wave awkwardly.

"Why're you hiding in a tree?"

"Paper cuts hurt."

T^T

"Huh?"

"Let's just say we failed our caffine addict class." Madara jumps out the tree, pulling me with him.

I follow him home, having no idea where the base is.

"Hey wait, if we go home, wouldn't Konan be able to get us?"

"..."


	38. Captured

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Flavia's P.O.V<strong>

Oh, those poor idiots.

Konan kicked their ass good.

But ya know, it kinda punished Deidara too, cause he can't have any sex for another week or so.

Haha, it's been 2.5 months.

"Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me!" Kitsune comes in singing.

"I thought you were hurt, like, badly?" I question.

"Yeah, but I got lucky because Leader needs me, you, Garret, and Dinah for a mission."

"How long is it?"

"2 months."

"Dayum!"

"Oh and Kitsune?" Konan walks in with a scary smile. "You'll be redone when you come back."

Kitsune whimpers and hides behind me.

Konan just got scary! O.o

Kitsune soon gets the hiccups and Pein starts breifing us on the mission.

Yeah yeah, whatever.

Kitsune was temporarily traumatized, Garret was love struck, Dinah was learning what it meant to be an Akatsuki, and I was confused.

Oh! And what does it mean to be an Akatsuki, you may ask?

It means your need for alchohal, sex, and your temper change to fit the needs of an average Akatsuki member.

And I'm confused because... Does Hidan love me?

I don't think so, but he gets jealous and... I don't know...

Ugh, maybe I should get Kitsune the match maker back and business.

"But she's traumatized." Garret pokes his sister.

"It'll wear off... Hopefully." Pein sighs.

Oh yeah.

MatchMaker+Trauma=Broken.

So we set off on our mission, saying bye to everyone.

"Hey Kitsune." I snap her out her thoughts. "Want some coffee?"

"..." Kitsune straightens up. "YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

"You just never learn, do you?"

But we stop and get her some coffee anyways.

"Dinah and Madara sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Garret sings.

"Oh shut up," Dinah blushes. "It's not even..."

"Official?" Kitsune tries. "Make a few moves, it'll become offcial,."

"Kitsune you idiot." Garret thunks my head. "Everyone knows the guy has the make the moves."

"Sexist!"

"Am not."

"A girl can make a move or two,"

"She's right, Garret." I add.

"Both of you shut u-"

We're suddenly held in headlocks and being dragged off.

* * *

><p>I wake up in a big empty room, my Akatsuki cloak stripped from me.<p>

"We're failure to ninja everywhere." I hear Kitsune cough. "We were caught in 5 seconds flat!"

She trails off in another coughing fit.

"Wha...?" Dinah sits on her knees looking around the dark room. "What happened?"

"Where are we?" Garret stretches.

"Your in Konoha." A voice chuckles.

A few dim lights come on so we could see.

"Hi Ibiki!" Kitsune waves.

I can't help but to facepalm on that one.

Kakashi soon follows after.

"Hi Kakashi!" I wave.

They glower at us.

"You guys recover fast." Kakashi mutters. "You were suppose to be sleep for another 5 minutes,"

"We're awesome like that!" Garret laughs.

Dinah just looked petrified.

"Soo, why're we here?" Kitsune questions.

Ibiki looks bewildered, "Your Akatsuki, duh!"

"So, your telling me your orders were to capture any Akatsuki you see?" I guess.

Kakashi nods.

"Well, you captured us, what do you want?"

"We want info." Ibiki picks me up and straps me to a chair before I can react.

He does the same to Kitsune.

Kakashi does that to Garret and Dinah.

"You, red-head." Ibiki growls.

"Kitsune." She corrects. "You should know the 4th Hokage's daughters name."

"4th Hokage?" Ibiki questions.

"Yeah, Kushina's my mom, Minato's my dad, and Naruto's my brother!"

"I'm your brother too, ya know!" Garret protests.

"Ok."

"STOP GOING OFF TRACK!" Ibiki slams his hand down. "What do you know of the Akatsuki."

"They like to get drunk!" I giggle.

"And they love scary movies!" Garret adds.

"And sex too!" I laugh. "Oh, but some of them HATE Hugs, and Zetsu has a shoe fetish!"

"Oh yeah, he ate Kitsune's shoes!" Garret remembers.

"SILENCE!" Ibiki roars. "You, green-haired girl."

"M-Me?" Dinah whimpers.

"Yes you," Ibiki rolls his eyes. "What're the Akatsuki's weaknesses?"

"...Sex...?" She tries.

"Leave Dinah alone, she's useless!" Kitsune teases. "She knows nothing of the Akatsuki, mostly cause she spends most of her time with us."

"Team awesomness!" Garret laughs.

"No, Team Smexy!"

Kakashi glares at us, "Well, KITSUNE, what are the Akatsuki's weaknesses?"

"Hugs, sex, alchohal, and having to be submissive." Kitsune says, partially joking. "They're always fighting over dominance!"

"Kitsune, your a joke to the interogation world!" I tease.

"Why, thank you! I try my hardest!"

Ibiki growls in frustration.

I must say, we're horrible at being interogated.

Ya know, until you pull out a kunai.

"My arm! Owww!" Kitsune yells. "It burns! But not as much as paper..."

Ibiki and Kakashi give her confused looks.

They then turn to me, "You girl." Ibiki gets his scary face on.

"Flavia." I correct.

"Flavia," He says my name with venom. "What're your ties to the Akatsuki?"

"..." I give him the best DUH! face ever. "I'm an Akatsuki member, dumbass."

Ibiki's face contorts in rage before punching me across the face.

"Ow." I laugh, but it still hurt. "Hasn't your mom ever told you not to hit a girl?"

"Why are you LAUGHING?" Kakashi exclaims.

"Because you can't hurt us," Garret chuckles darkly. "We have ties."

"And we're a bit mental." I add, still laughing.

The door opens again, "I'd like to see these Akatsuki members."

"I'm bringing sexy back!" Kitsune sings.

"Your to bruised to be sexy," Garret comments.

"Shut it!" She kicks him in the shin.

...

"Hi dad!" Kitsune waves at Minato.

I swear, he was resisting the urge to facepalm.

"Kit... Kitsune? Garret? Flavia?" His eye twitches. "Why didn't I see this coming? Untie them."

We're freed from those uncomfortable chairs and we hug Minato like a bunch of little kids.

"You guys are in so much trouble." He mutters. "Joining the likes of THEM."

"They're actually really nice once you get past the mentalness." Kitsune shrugs. "And you wouldn't BELIEVE how much coffee they had! It was heaven!"

Kitsune catches Minato's dark aura.

"In a... Hellish... Sorta way."


	39. Escapeof course

**do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>**Kitsune's P.O.V**

_**~~~Months later~~~**_

"I didn't MEAN to break the ramen shop!" I huff. "I don't get why I'm being punished?"

"A lot of reasons, Kitsune," Minato mutters.

We go into the interrogation corps and go in a room with one participant.

"Madara Uchiha." Minato growls. "You've been charged with starting multiple wars, kidnapping, and murder."

I blink my eyes in the dim light so I could see better.

I could see Madara tied to the chair.

"Hi Madara Nii-san!" I wave eagerly. "Long time no see?"

"Kitsune, what're you doing here?" Madara(would be) rolling his eyes(blindfold).

"Eh, got caught up in some stuff."

"Worst. Ninja. Ever."

"Shut up!" I cross my arms and pout. "Oh!"

I kiss him, "That's from Dinah!"

"So what? Now your passing on kisses?" Madara chuckles.

"Yep! It's fun too!"

"Wait till I tell Deidara you've been kissing other guys," He teases.

"Don't you dare!" I warn. "And... You taste of coffee..."

"Uh... Thanks?"

"Kitsune, stop flirting with the prisoner." Minato warns.

"I'm not flirting!" I protest. "I'm just really persuasive!"

"Ugh, it was hell." Madara sighs. "House. Everyday."

"You know you loved playing house!"

"No, no I didn't."

"Mmhm, suure." I turn to whisper to Minato. "He just dosen't wanna mess up his image."

"I heard that!"

"You were spose to."

Minato facepalms and pulls me away from Madara.

"I can't get any work done with you." He mutters.

"I'm just enthusiastic!" I protest, sitting in Madara's lap. "Right, Nii-san?"

"Off, Kitsune." Both males say.

"No!"

Madara bites my ear.

"AHHH!" I spring to my feet and run out the door. "ANOTHER CANNIBAL!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

I lay in my bedroom, writing a quick note in my journal.

Me and Garret jump out the second story window and land on the roof of some building being constructed on.

So, of course, we fell through the roof.

We push off the fallen debris and look at each other laughing quietly.

We get to our feet and dash to the Hyuga compound.

Flavia was on lock down.

We walk along the roof, looking for Flavia's chakra signiture.

We find it in the back room(library).

Garret cocks his fist, and punches a large hole in the roof.

We jump in.

"Wassup, Flavi-chan?" I wave eagerly. "C'mon! Get off your ass!"

Flavia stays with her back to us.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

Bait. The Hyuga's are using me as bait.

I stay with my mouth tied, staring at a wall.

My hands were tied in front of me.

"Flavi-chan! Don't ignore me!" Kitsune comes closer.

"MM! MM MM!" I protest.

"Eh?" Kitsune twirls me around forcievly, making an alarm go off. "Ugh, the things you get into!"

"Hurry up you two!" Garret throws a book at us.

I cut Flavia free and drag her to her feet.

We jump out the hole in the roof, headed for interogation corps.

It was rather easy to free Madara.

We run out of Konoha, leaving everyone cluttered and in shock.

"KITSUNE!" A female voice screams angrily. "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

"AHH! IT'S A SECOND KONAN!1!" I scream, running much more faster.

We stop once we're far enough from Konoha, we(me, Garret, Flavia) leave Madara and continue our mission.

"Glad to see you remembered me." Dinah hisses venomously.

"Oh shit! Sorry!" Flavia titters nervously. "We were in kinda a hurry! Ya know, with Konoha effing mad and Kitsune scared of her mom."

"It's ok," Dinah rolls her eyes. "Don't do it again though, or I'll go Konan on all your asses."

We agree on that, and dash through the forest.

"Well guys!" I laugh. "Looks like we're on the run again!"

As soon as I said that, we got ambushed, but this time we won out.

"Can't touch this!" Garret dances around the unconcious bodies.

"Let's keep going, Konoha's still on gaurd." Dinah reminds us.

* * *

><p><strong>People, I'm AMAZED at how long this turned out to be! What started out as a "I'm Bored So I'll Write A Few Chapters" is now an "Ok What's Next For The Plot?"... do you guys like it that much O.O<strong>

**Polls:**

**DeidaraxKitsune-2 votes**

**ItachixMomo-2 votes**

**DinahxMadara-1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia-No votes**

**TemarixGarret-No votes(porb cuz I haven't introduced this pairing as much)**


	40. Fluff?

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><em><strong>3 Months later...<strong>_

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"Baby! I'm home!" I announce as I enter the base.

"Sorry I'm late! Got a little caught up!" Flavia laughs.

"Let's play house!"

There's a lot of thumping feet as people run and hide.

"Heh, I told you they don't like playing house." Garret chuckles.

"They just don't like who they play." Flavia grumbles. "Right?"

"Yeah, they said something about it."

When we played house, Pein was the dad, Deidara was the mom, Kakuzu was grandpa, Konan was grandma, Hidan was uncle, Sasori was aunt, Itachi was little brother, Madara my twin brother(we're oldest), Garret was youngest brother, Flavia is the cousin, Kisame is the boy cousin, and Zetsu is the pet.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I go in the hallway on the first floor where the more... Loud members stayed.

The whole area was sound proof.

"Hidan~!" I peek into his room. "Are you decent?"

"Yeah yeah." Hidan rolls his eyes.

I come in and flop on his bed.

"Flavi-chan." He makes me sit up.

"Hmm?"

"Are you an S&M?"

"NO!" I blush.

He laughs at my reaction and goes to take a shower.

I dim the lights and play with his scythe to entertain myself.

"Shiiny~!" I marvel. "Is Kitsune's this shiny?"

I get a mischevious grin, grabbing a kunai out his drawer.

I barge into the bathroom Hidan greeting me with a "The Fuck!".

I shove him against the shower wall, wearing shorts and a bra, "I lied."

He gives me a surprised look as I bite into his collarbone.

"I am totally S&M."

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"Deiiii-kuuun~!" I poke my head into his and Sasori's room.

"You and Deidara share a room now," Sasori looks up from his puppet.

"Cool puppet by the way!" I add, leaving him be.

I go into my bedroom to see Deidara having "alone time".

Should I interupt, or?

Hmm...

"Mmm, Kitsune, un." He moans.

I sit across from him on my own bed.

I let him finish up before saying something, "Miss me?"

He jolts up, embarresed, "H-How long w-were you w-watching, un?"

"Mmm, about 5 minutes," I tease. "I think your exact words were 'Mmm, Kitsune, un...'"

He groans, shoving his face into his pillow.

"Hey!" I crawl onto his bed, flipping him over.

"What're you-"

"Watching you made you horny." I admit. "So come on,"

"But I'm not ready, un!" He whines.

"I can fix that," I giggle. "You've been a good boy!"

**Garret's P.O.V**

I move swiftly through the forest, meeting up with Temari.

"Hey guurl," I joke. "How's it going?"

"It's great, how's your sister?" Temari laughs.

"Idiotic."

She laughs again, "That's cute, ya know?"

"Eh," I shrug. "So, what do you wanna do?"

"Let's go to town!"

"Ok."

So we walk into the nearest town, stopping at a small ramen restraunt.

"So, what's your sisters name?" Temari asks as the man makes our ramen.

"Kitsune."

"Oh! I've heard of her! She's the Hokage's daughter!"

"Yeah."

"Hmm, what was it Gaara said? The bad egg? But, what did she do?"

"She, uh, got invloved in a few things." I answer truthfully. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"That's fine." Temari shrugs.

She's so... Peppy.

"Garret?" She waves her hands in my face.

"Huh?"

"I said, are you a Shinobi."

"You could say that,"

"What rank are you?"

"...Chunin..."

"Cool, me too! We seem to have a lot in common!"

"Yeah..."

Ok, maybe not, but still.

"Are you a natrual blonde?"

"Yeah! Of course! This," I do a pose. "Would NOT look good with red hair."

Temari laughs at my demonstration.

Damn, she's cute.

"How old are you, Garret?"

"16, why?"

"Oh good! Just making sure you weren't to young, because your rather short!"

I groan, dropping my head on the table, "Why does everyone say that?"

"Heh heh heh, sorry!"

"eh, it's fine."

We finish eating and just walk around the quiet town.

Then, one man stops and stares at me.

Oh shit.

"Y-You!" He points with a gasp.

"Yes, me." I keep walking.

"Your the one with the girl! The red-headed child! And her friends!"

"Hey, don't compare Garret with his sister." Temari glares. "He's a good guy."

"I'm a REALLY good guy. My sister is very..." I trail off, a good word not coming to mind.

The guy shudders, but backs off.

"Your sister must be with some pretty bad people..." Temari sighs. "Any chance she might come back?"

I sigh and look off into the mountains, "Some day, Temari-chan. Some day."

**Dinah's P.O.V**

I sit in my room, humming along to my Ipod.

I didn't really know the words.

"Du na na na na. Na na na na!" I twirl around, cleaning things up a bit.

I trip on an outstrecthed foot, crashing into the dresser.

"The hell was that for!" I throw a now broken perfume bottle at Madara.

"I was bored..." He shrugs.

"Yeah? Well save that kinda boredom for Kitsune."

"Kitsune's busy."

"With?"

"..."

"Ohhh." I flop down on my bed. "So what do you want?"

"I'm bored." He repeats. "Everyone's busy,"

"Your a leader, how can you be bored?"

He shrugs again, "Entertain me."

"I'm not an entertainer." I roll my eyes.

"We should get it on," He purrs.

_**SMACK!**_

"Ah! Bitch! What the hell?" Madara rubs his cheek, sitting on the ground.

"You perv! I said I don't like being touched!"

"So you SLAP me?"

"Yes!" I hiss. "You deserved to be slapped for violating my bubble!"

"What is it with you three girls and your forms of defense?" He grumbles to himself. "Yours is slapping, Kitsune's is a FRYING PAN, and Flavia's is kicking them in the balls and running."

"It's basic female etiquete." I reply bluntly.

"More like basic bitch etiqute."

I shoot my foot out and kick him in the balls.

He collapses onto the ground.

"Heh." I chuckle darkly. "Don't mess with a girl!"

"That was soo uncalled for," Madara groans. "Your such a bi..."

Heh, now he knows not to use the word bitch anymore.

"How can you possibly like coffee? It's disgusting!" I say out of the blue.

"It is not." He leans on my bed, finally recovered. "It's a wondrful gift from the gods."

"Sure it is," I roll my eyes, making sure he stayed out my bubble.

Someone cries out from downstairs.

?

"20 Says it's Hidan." Madara laughs darkly.

"Damn sadist..." I roll my eyes.

"What? You don't get at Kitsune for being sadist."

"It's no wonder you two are twins."

An explosion comes from the forest.

"Great. Guess we're moving bases again." Madara sighs.

* * *

><p><strong>People, I'm AMAZED at how long this turned out to be! What started out as a "I'm Bored So I'll Write A Few Chapters" is now an "Ok What's Next For The Plot?"... do you guys like it that much O.O<strong>

**Polls:**

**DeidaraxKitsune-4 votes**

**ItachixMomo-3 votes**

**DinahxMadara-1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia-No votes**

**TemarixGarret-No votes(porb cuz I haven't introduced this pairing as much)**


	41. The quest for the golden bear!

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Kitsune's P.O.V<strong>

These attacks are just plain annoying now.

Not only is this new base SMALLER, but it's also one story.

Hidan, Flavia, me, and Deidara in the first room.

Pein, Konan, Itachi, and Garret in the second room.

Kisame, Sasori, and Zetsu in the third bedroom.

Madara, Dinah and Kakuzu in the fourth bedroom.

And lemme tell you, people were NOT eager with the bed set up.

It was two to a bed.

Hey, at least they're queen beds?

We set up the rooms to our liking, then I couldn't help but to stare at Hidan.

"Hidan, why're you so cut up?" I question.

"Shut up." He growls.

"...Well then."

"I swear, if we have to move one more time." Flavia sighs.

"I dislike this base." I grumble. "With a PASSION."

"It's to small!"

"That's what she said."

**Garret's P.O.V**

"What the hell? Why do the bases keep getting smaller?" I complain.

"Because they cost less." Pein mutters.

I look around, "There's only two beds."

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"I call Konan!" We both shout simutaniously. "No you don't!"

Konan rolls her eyes irratably, "What's wrong with sleeping with Itachi?"

"A lot of things actually." I roll my eyes back.

"Like?"

"Well, for one thing, Itachi's a guy." Pein adds helpfully.

Konan facepalms, "Garret, just sleep with Itachi."

"But..." I cross my arms and pout. "He scares me."

**Dinah's P.O.V**

I smack my forehead as Madara gives me a pervy grin.

"Looks like we'll be sleeping together," He chuckles.

_**SMACK!**_

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" He shreiks.

"I don't know, you tell me," I say sarcastically. "You were being perverted."

"Do I really have to sleep in here with you two?" Kakuzu grumbles, rubbing his temples.

"You could always sleep on the couch," Madara offers.

"Noo! Kakuzu! Don't leave me alone with THAT." I whine. "He might rape me in my sleep!"

"It's not rape if you don't want it," Flavia bounces into the room.

"Yeah, then it's just violent sex!" Kitsune laughs.

"Well, I'm not S&M like you two!" I protest.

"I am NOT S&M!" Both of them snap.

"Suuure." Madara adds helpfully. "Now what do you want?"

"We gotta mission!" Kitsune throws her hands in the air, purposley catching Madara in the face. "God! Why else would we be in here?"

"Because your stalkers."

"Psh, your just jealous cause Dinah won't let you touch her!"

"Not true!"

"Whatever you say, nii-san!" Kitsune titters. "Just come on!"

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"We're going on a mission, a mission, a mission! We're going on a mission to get some gold!" I sing, skipping in front of everyone else.

"Your an idiot." Madara rolls his eyes.

"Your a... A... Pshyco."

"Your a dumbass."

"Your a bastard."

"Your kinky."

"Your a virgin."

"You wish!"

Dinah's eye twitches at this.

"Heh, my plan worked!" I mutter to myself. "Now then... Time to test loyalty,"

Flavia gets super happy and pulls on a pink tiara, then hands me some fake arrows.

"Cupid and Guru on the move!" She whispers loud enough for me to hear.

"So Dinah, are YOU a virgin?" I drape my arm on her shoulder playfully.

She blushes and ducks her head, "Wh-Why do you need to know?"

"C'mon, we're friends! And your old enough! Your, like, 18 or 19 right?"

"No." She mumbles. "I'm not a virgin."

"Phew! Good! Thank god!"

She ducks her head down more.

"So, how many?"

"Kitsune!"

"What? I'll tell you how many I'VE done!"

"How many?"

"15,"

O.o -Dinah

"Ok, I've done... 6."

I narrow my eyes at her.

"10." She sighs in defeat. "Happy?"

"Very." I smirk. "And no. I'm not a whore."

"Wha..?"

"Well, I could tell that's what you were thinking from the look on your face,"

"Well you sure do sound like a whore." Madara scoffs.

"You shut up!" I throw pinecones at him. "I'm not a whore! Being done and doing someone are two different things! I'm not all worn out like YOU ARE."

"Ohhhh, buuurn," Flavia snickers.

Uh-oh...

"SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" I shreik, running away.

"YEAH YOU BETTER RUN LITTLE BRAT!"

I run right into some random dude that SAKURA was fighting.

"Hey! It's spiderman!" I laugh as he shoots some kinda blue liquid out his wrist.

"Kitsune, I will let it drop." Madara growls. "For now."

And he kicks me right in the stomach, into a tree.

"I thought you were gonna let it drop!" I whine, coughing feircly.

"I did."

"Then why'd you kick me into a tree?"

"I was bored."

"That's sick, ya know?" Sakura comments.

"Thank you, Sakura!" I get to my feet. "Now to kick Spiderman's ass."

"Is that... Chakra?" Dinah stares disgusted at the blue liquid.

"Heh, I'm rotten." The man chuckles. "And so is my chakra."

He squirts his chakra at us, trying to catch us with his sticky chakra.

"Ehh, my ribs hurt." I mutter as Madara passes by.

"You deserved it."

I flip backwards, and end up doing the Matrix.

"I didn't deserve to be kicked into a tree." I comment. "I think you broke one."

"Hopefully."

Things suddenly go dark as I go tumbling backwards.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I stare in horror as some people come up behind Kitsune and Madara(who were arguing as always) and knocked them backwards over the cliff.

That spiderman dude shoots more of his disgusting chakra at them.

I aim a punch at him, grabbing the gold teddy bear.

He shoots at me and I go tumbling down the cliff side along with Sakura(who came out of nowhere).

Suddenly, a nursery rhyme fills my mind.

'Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after...'

I black out as my head hits a rock.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I wake up, half submerged in a stream.

I lift up my hand to fix my hair to find it covered in some kinda blue stuff.

And also connected to that blue stuff was Madara's hand.

"Oh come on!" I smack my forehead with my free hand.

"What're you yelling about?" He groans.

"We're stuck together."

"Hmm?" Madara gets this scarily happy look on his face. "Maybe I won't let it drop..."

"Huuuh?" I start trying to pull free of the stuff. "C'mon! Why. Won't. This. Release!"

Madara jumps to his feet and starts dragging me across the ground.

"H-Hey! Stop it! Slow down!" I struggle to get up, but he was moving a bit to fast. "Madara!"

"I'm looking for Flavia and Dinah."

"Let me walk!" I pull back forcively.

"Do you guys ever stop fighting?" Sakura rolls her eyes.

"No, they don't." Flavia rubs her head.

"Hey! You guys are stuck too!" I get a chance to jump to my feet.

"Yeah, and we're taking it much better,"

"It's not my fault he found a way to get his revenge,"

"Where's Dinah?"

"I thought she was with YOU?"

"Awww shit."

"Then let's go find her. Their base is right through this little area."

"At the end of it, right?" Flavia nods. "C'mon."

I was busy trying to get this STUPID stuff off.

**Dinah's P.O.V**

"Let me go!" I growl. "Just you wait, when my friends get here, they're gonna kick your ass!"

"We just want that golden bear." Spiderman-dude chuckles. "Then we'll kill you all."

"Psh, yeah right."

"Shut your mouth little girl."

We get to this run down shack of a place and I just sit in a corner and watch them play Poker.

I sigh.

What am I thinking?

It'll take days for them to get here if that chakra stuff is keeping them stuck together.

**Sakura's P.O.V**

These idiots...

Madara is basically torturing Kitsune lightly and Flavia is cheering him on.

I sigh as we come to a stone path going through the water.

"No, no way!" Kitsune shivers, already had been dunked in the water.

"But we have to go get Dinah," Madara chuckles darkly.

"Remember to let her up for air every now and then!" Flavia laughs, clutching her sides. "Oh, this is priceless! Wish I had a video camera!"

"Isn't she your friend though?" I question.

"Yeah, but this is just to funny to watch!"

"Oh..."

Madara knocks Kitsune into the water, jerks to the side a bit, but stays balanced.

"S-S-S-S-Ssson of a b-b-bitch!" She shivers before hitting a water fall and being shoved under.

The chakra stretches out, but she springs right back up.

She clings onto Madara's leg, shaking with cold.

"That's pretty fucked up," I comment. "You've dragged her against rocks, partly drowned her, knocked her into a bee hive, and dropped her down a gohper hole."

"That one was an accident!" Madara protests. "But still funny."

"Ohhh maan, where's D-D-Dinah?" Kitsune shivers, rubbing her arms.

All these Akatsuki members are insane.

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh, poor Kitsune. Has to watch what she says! What was Sakura doing here you may ask? Well it's from that filler episode with Naruto and Sasuke and they get stuck together? Yeah... In this version, they sent Sakura herself. REVIEW!<strong>

**Polls:**

**DeidaraxKitsune-4 votes**

**ItachixMomo-3 votes**

**DinahxMadara-1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia-No votes**

**TemarixGarret-No votes(porb cuz I haven't introduced this pairing as much)**


	42. Mall and Wells

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p><strong>Kitsune's P.O.V<strong>

Ok, so we rescued Dinah, but I got a lot of abuse on the way back.

We finally made it home, but the stuff was still sticking us together.

Odd enough, Flavia's and Sakura's came off within 2 days.

"Pein!" I shout, barging into his room. "Look at this!" I raise mine and Madara's merged hands. "Fix it! Fix it now!"

Pein glances at us, "It'd help if you'd stop pulling and stretching it," He pokes the rubber-cement chakra. "Which means you guys have to STOP FIGHTING, stop ARGUING, and stop TORTURING each other."

"Do you know how hard that is?" Madara mutters.

"He's mad at me." I grumble.

"What'd you do this time?" Pein crosses his arms.

"I called him 'worn out'."

Pein snickers and excuses himself out the room.

Me and Madara glower at each other, then drop the act once Sakura's gone and been threatened by both Pein and Flavia.

"...I'm cold." I announce.

"Is that all you have to say?" Madara rolls his eyes.

"Yes. It is. Because I'M SOAKING WET."

I pull him to my room and close the door, "Close your eyes."

"Real mature." He rolls them instead of closing them.

"Just do it! God!"

Madara closes his eyes with a muttered string of curse words.

I strip down(which was rather hard with only one hand) and put on some nice, warm PJ's.

"Ok, I'm done." I announce, buttoning up the stupid shirt with issues.

"Finally." Madara drags me out the room.

"A little HELP please?" I snap as I get sick and tired of the buttons.

"With?"

"These retard buttons."

"Someone's in a bad mood."

"Damn right." I sit on the couch. "I'm stuck to you, you dunked me in the water, dragged me across rocks, and let me dangle over the side of a cliff. I'm NOT having a good day."

"Hmmm..."

"AND we're all out of coffee!"

"Guess this is a bad day for you," He teases. "If only you could take it out on blondie... Oh well."

"Hm. If I can't take it out on blondie." I chuckle digging in a drawer. "I'll take it out on you."

"Shit."

"TO THE MALL!" I drag him out the door and to the big mall in the center of all the Great Nations.

Madara groans as I tug him into the pet store.

"Look at all the Chihuahua's!" I laugh kneeling in front of the bin.

"They're retarded." Madaa replies.

"Excuse me!"

"They've got a tiny body and a big ass head, they're always shaking every second of the day, and they think they're SO tough."

"Sounds a lot like you." I mutter, earning a slap on the head.

"I don't shake..."

We leave the pet store and just explore the mall for the day.

"Oh no! My babies in the well!" A lady sobs.

"Who drops their baby down a well?" I question. "Talk about horrible parenting!"

"Please help!"

Madara and I sigh, and look down into the well.

"Ok I'm gonna drop you down and you just grab her."

"Hey, why do _I _have to go down the well?"

"Cause you know damn well you can't hold me up."

Madara drops my down the hole, the sticky chakra starts wearing off.

The girl grabs my foot and Madara jerks me up up.

RIGHT at that time, the chakra breaks free, and I go crashing into a stupid tree.

I groan, rubbing my head, "Stop doing that!"

"Doing what?" Madara pulls me to my feet.

"Bruising me."

"That's hard to do cause you bruise so damn easily."

"I wouldn't have _any _bruises if you weren't so mean..."

"I'm mean to you cause you deserve it."

"Make some sense for once!"

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh, poor Kitsune. Has to watch what she says! What was Sakura doing here you may ask? Well it's from that filler episode with Naruto and Sasuke and they get stuck together? Yeah... In this version, they sent Sakura herself. REVIEW!<strong>

**Polls:**

**DeidaraxKitsune-4 votes**

**ItachixMomo-3 votes**

**DinahxMadara-1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia-No votes**

**TemarixGarret-No votes(porb cuz I haven't introduced this pairing as much)**


	43. Websites

**What do you do when one BFF is mad at you and the other is in some serious trouble. What do you do when your 2 brothers are being used as weapons? What to do if you agreed to take a piece of a little pest off of a certain blonde? And what if all this is happening cause you got sucked into the Naru-verse?**

* * *

><p>Garret gives me a nasty looking hot dog.<p>

"I don't want this." I grumble.

"And?"

AND I THREW IT ON THE GROOOUUUUND!

"What the hell, Kitsune!" Garret thunks my head. "That's a waste of good hot dog!"

"That was a nasty hot dog!" I protest. "Your the dumbass who brought me a ROTTEN Hot dog!"

"I cook hot dogs like a boss!"

"Well, I jump out of windows like a boss!" Flavia laughs.

"Buy a gun!" I laugh.

"Like a boss!"

"Aw shit man I can't do it! ...Pussy out!"

"Like a boss!"

"Buy some drugs!"

"Like a boss!"

"Suck a dudes dick!"

"Like a boss!"

"Cut my balls-"

"The fuck?" Pein walks into the room with a beer. "I thought you we-"

"It's a song, god!"

"You mean Pein?" Flavia smiles goofily.

Me and Pein stare at her with a WTF look.

"Ya know, since he's a god! Instead of saying oh my god, you say oh my Pein!"

Facepalm.

"Flavi-chan," Hidan walks in, glowers at us(me, Pein, and Garret), then turns to Flavia. "Are these any good?"

Flavia tastes one of the cookies on the plate, "Mm~! It's really good!"

I reach for a cookie, "Can I get-"

"No." Hidan slaps my hand away. "You don't get any."

I rub my hand, "Meany..."

Hidan go into the room and they share their stupid cookies.

"Rejected." Pein chuckles, leaving me alone.

Garret had gone... Just to leave me.

I flop on the couch and pout.

Everyone just left me like that...

I pull out my Ipod, thankful the Narutoverse is becoming slightly more modern.

I laugh and look through video's on Nin-Tube.

I get an idea and sneak into Pein's office.

I do a lot of typing, but I finally get up my website.

**_._**

Hehehe.

I make myself a Nin-Space and add everyone(from Konoha, Suna, Iwa) as a friend, awaiting approval.

THEN, I make a Nin-Tube account and add a video with a link to my website.

I shut down the computer and go back to the couch with my Ipod.

...

"UberART... Da fuck?"

I check out the just starting art website started by Sai.

Nice.

I make an account on this too, then flinch as large thunder accompanies the area.

...

"DEIDARA!" I shreik, running into the room, and hiding inside his bed.

"Uhh, are you scared of thunderstorms, un?" Deidara lifts up the blanket and stares at me.

"Y-Yes!"

"...Odd." Deidara walks off and leaves me be.

Oh yeah, SO comforting.

I flinch at every crash or boom.

"Kitsune, un, how can someone like you be scared of storms?" Deidara gets in bed next to me, hours later.

"Because they sound scary, ok!" I snuggle up against him.

"Hn."

**Flavia's P.O.V**

Sigh. Kitsune flirts without even knowing it.

I finish off the last cookie Hidan had baked.

That will never sound right.

"Told you I was a great teacher," I laugh softly. "Those cookies were great,"

"Yeah, whatever." Hidan crosses his arms and leans back.

"Psh, so criminals can't bake cookies and still be cool?"

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

After the storm, I go around with 2 camera's.

One for pictures, the other for video.

I sneak into Madara's room, hide my chakra and sit in his closet.

I wait for HOURS until he's in there.

And the embarresment begins.

"Have I gone insane? Nah, I'm not insane! I'm... I'm... I'm special!" Madara pep talks himself.

I video tape, trying hard not to snicker.

"Dinah's such a prude... She knows I'm irresistable! She loves me for gods sake and yet she won't let me even touch her!"

Madara sits on his bed talking to himself and filling up on candy.

Then he's literally bouncing off the walls with his stereo blasting.

Then he's doing the Macerana.

I cover my mouth and try and keep the camera steady at the same time.

Madara finally leaves the room and I sneak into Pein's office, hooking up the camera.

My video had gotten many views, and my people on Ninja-Space had accepted me as a friend!

I post a few more links and put the video on my website.

_ 'Madara Uchiha. Evil mastermind or candy high idiot? _  
><em> Recent footage shows this Uchiha singing, dancing, and bouncing off the walls like a total idiot. <em>  
><em> Seems like he has a girlfriend, but is he being depriived? (Wink, wink) Madara talks to himself a lot, going through many moods.<em>  
><em> What's your definition of evil? Is it this silly Uchiha?<em>

_ ~The Red Flash'_

I press the update button and go hunting for more footage.

_**~~~(7 Weeks later)~~~**_

My website is a HIT.

I update everyday, using funny video's and having a huge gallery of future blackmail.

I've got cross dressing, dancing, singing, acting-like-a-girl, and much more.

I check out the comments on the recent Kisame video.

They were very innapropriate... O/o

"Kitsune, what're you doing in my office?" Pein questions.

"Nothing." I exit off my website and hurriedly leave the room.

He grabs my shirt collar and has me show him what I was doing.

He goes scarily quiet.

"Y...You.." He pauses to gather his words, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Have been posting video's... Of us."

"Y-Yeah?" I back away.

"Take it down."

"But!"

"No buts."

"But it's really popular and funny! See?" I pull up the Madara video I first added, then show him cross-dressing Itachi. "The Real Uchiha's?"

Pein watches silently, then says, "You can keep it... But no leaking info."

"Deal!"

I edit a bit more, save and publish, and go get something to eat.

_**Days later...**_

"KITSUNE!"

Two VERY angry Uchiha's storm into the kitchen where I was making a PB sandwhich.

"Yeah?" I take a step back.

"Explain this." Itachi holds up his Iphone with my video of "The Real Uchiha's" playing.

"It's a... Umm... Video." I grab my sandwhich and back up some more.

"You. Are. Dead." Madara grabs me by my hair.

* * *

><p>I stare at the camera in my beat up state, "Well guys, this site is officialy closed down." I sigh. "Certain Uchiha's got pissed at being exploited."<p>

I glance back at the glowering two.

I lean in close to the camera and whisper, "Remember, they're slutty and they blow it,"

I do a little photo editing to make it look cooler, add some good bye credits, and add some random gibberish to the end.

"I jump out of window's like a boss!" I laugh. "I spy like a boss too! Oh! And I get beat up like a boss!"

I post the video and stare sadly at my website.

I click the remove button.

It asks me to put in my username and password.

I try 3 times, but it keeps saying it's wrong.

"The hell?" I mutter. "It's not letting me!"

"What." Itachi is at my side, staring at the screen. "You forgot the password?"

"No way! The password was ham17!"

"Then what the hell..."

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" I run out the room, secretly happy.

Garret was on his Ipod laughing his ass off.

I look over his shoulder and see a video of ME.

I stop and continue watching the mucho embarresing video.

Shit.

I check and see it put up by some guy named FireFlash_020.

Bastard.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, last chapter for tonight! Enjoy the randomness! BTW, whoever can guess who FireFlash_020 is will get a special prize! :D<strong>

**Polls:**

**DeidaraxKitsune-4 votes**

**ItachixMomo-3 votes**

**DinahxMadara-1 vote**

**HidanxFlavia-No votes**

**TemarixGarret-No votes(prob cuz I haven't introduced this pairing as much)**


	44. OH TEH NO!

**OMG! WHERE DID SOME OF MY CHAPTERS GO! Well, this story is on hold until I can find them :( I searched for 20 minutes and chapters 44 to 50 are GONE! POOF! FOOP! AHHH!**


	45. Picnic Time!

**Hey everyone! It's time for the "Kitsune Says" part of the story! I noticed everyone asked a lot of questions in the reviews so i created this... This is only for a limited time, so ask Kitsune any questions! I might do "Flavia Says" or "Momo says" later on. Maybe. But for now, these questions are answered in the P.O.V of Kitsune Uzumaki!**

Dj Neko: **XD But websites are perfect for keeping all my blackmail. I mean, one day, if you get on my bad side my finger might *accidently* slip and the most embaressing video of whoever I choose is all over the web! *innocent look***

**RandomAwesomer101: Cheater! You can only put one name! ...And it was none of those people either! :D It's actually someone you wouldn't expect. Hint: It's the same person who changed the password.  
>OH! And Authoress says that the "Hn" part was a typo! S'pose to be "un". <strong>

**Honest: I'd take you more seriously if you could at least spell "shit" right... And why grow up? You must be jealous of my perfect curves and semi-flawless skin! XD **

**onetikakawachi: Kushina was _going _to be dead, but then I thought about it, a bunch of storyline ideas popped into my head... and so she stayed alive... WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK FireFlash_020 are the Uchiha brothers!**

**Kitsune: Well, that's all for today folks! =^_^=**

* * *

><p>I groan outloud, bored out of my mind and trying to figure out what to do... Stupid mind blocks. My website is down until I figure out the new password and whoever the hell changed it. For now, I just made an accoutn on the website so I could reply to people's messages and stuffs. Who dosen't love a high-tech Naruverse? It's awesome!<p>

Hidan and Flavia have some kinda cooking obessesion, but at least it feeds me(sometimes). Selfish Hidan, with his selfish food... Who needs him? I can make my _own _food!

I am such a liar.

I roll off the couch and go looking for someone to mess with. Madara and Dinah were out doing whatever people in there 20's do. I walk right into Kisame's room and lean to look in his fish tank. There was a bunch of fancy fish in there, all of which tasted fairly good. Oh yeah! I stare at the note taped to the fish tank.

"Dear Kitsune, if I catch you in here I will literaly feed you to the fishes." I read outloud, then immediatly pale...

Oh shit, the doors opening! I do a quick transformation jutsu and hop into the tank to blend in with the other fishes. I swim around aimlessly as Kisame enters the room. He stops and stares at the new edition to his tank. A fully red fish with light blue circles around it's eyes.

"Must've respawned again..." He shrugs it off. "One weird looking fish though."

I blow bubbles angrily at the comment, hiding behind another bigger fish who looked very hungry. I slowly back away and go hide behind the treasure chest. Kisame leaves and as I'm about to leave Hidan walks in. He looks into the fish tank and sticks his hand in.

"Hmm, your pretty big." He picks me up. "You'll be dinner then."

I spaz out as I realize I couldn't breath anymore. Stupid fishes, freaking useless! Can't even breath fricken air! They suck! Suck SO BADLY! GRRR! Hidan poofs into the kitchen and drops me in a pot of water as I realease the henge.

"...The fuck!" He stares at me surprised.

"What's wrong Hidan?" Flavia turns around. "Why's Kitsune in the pot?"

"I really hate henge now." I grumble, pulling myself out the pot.

"You were in Kisame's room, huh?"

"Shhh, I don't know how long it takes for a fish to eat a person!"

**Flavia's P.O.V**

Kitsune disapears into the hallway and I just shrug it off for now. I turn back to the silver-haired immortal.

"Hidan, do you bake cause I do or because you want to?" I question.

"A bit of both." He mutters.

"Oh okay, because that's such a clear answer." I roll some pizza dough into a circle. "What again are we making?"

"...Dinner...?"

"Your horrible at answering my questions." I grumble, throwing the dough ball at his head.

"Bitch, don't throw dough at me!" He throws it back.

_**5 minutes later**_

"If anyone asks, it was Kitsune." I stare at the mess in the kitchen we made.

"I can live with that." He agrees, picking dough out his hair. "So what're we doing about dinner?"

"...Wanna just order pizza?"

"Sure, I'll call."

I go into the living room and claim the remote before anyone else could get back from their daily business.

"Hey! Get off your lazy ass!" Hidan snaps. "The pizza place is closed today!"

"Well, what does that have to do with me?"

"Go tell Konan we're out of food cause Kitsune ate it all."

I nod as I get up, "That's believable."

I go upstairs and find Konan sitting on Kitsune's upper back and brushing out the red-head's hair. Kitsune yells profanity and makes futile attempts to get free. Konan laughs and just continues with whatever she was doing.

"I AM NOT A BARBIE!" Kitsune protests.

"Konan, go tell Pein we're having a picnic." I announce. "Dinner's not working out."

"Where're we having it at?" Konan spits out the bobby pins and grabs a ribbon.

"The nearest park that hasn't banned us yet."

"Konan! Get off me! AHH! THE GIRLINESS! IT BUURNSS!" Kitsune screeches, something all of us have learned to ignore in most cases.

"Okay, I'll be right down after I finish with-" Konan gets a kick to the face and Kitsune runs off. "KITSUNE!"

I bust out laughing as the two females go crashing down the hallways. I go downstairs and hug Hidan for no apprent reason, just felt like it. What? I don't want to hear a word from you people! Kitsune can fall in love, become step-family with and annoy pshyco's but I can't hug one?

I don't love him, no way. Even if I did, he dosen't love me. So why get all heart broken over love I know isn't gonna happen? _I don't love him. ... I hope._

* * *

><p>We sit around a park, the sun was shining, and we were being the idiots we loved to be. I start to race Kitsune and, knowing she was losing, she tackles me to the ground.<p>

"Kitsune, I worked hard on that look and what do you? Roll around in the mud." Konan pouts. "Maybe I should dress up Flavia next time."

"What? I still look pretty good." Kitsune strikes a pose. "Yeaaah, look at my sexiness!"

Laughter erupts, Kitsune sulking behind a tree. Speaking of her, Konan put her in a short skirt, a tight one-sleeved shirt, and grey leggings. Her hair was done up in a side pony tail with a black ribbon in it. Kitsune didn't look to happy about the outfit... oh well.

I walk up to Hidan with a goofy smile, "Do I look good in this?" I do a 360 turn.

"Yeah."

"LIES! You didn't even look!"


	46. The Fog

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I groan and fall face first into my bed.

"What's wrong, Flavi-chan?" Hidan asks.

"My friendship is falling apart!" I sit up. "They HATE each other. One or both are gonna DIE and I can't do ANYTHING about it! It's... It's not fair!" I punch the wall and go stomping away.

"...Damn..." I hear Hidan whisper as I walk out the room.

**Hidan's P.O.V**

...

She cracked the fucking wall.

"Hm... I think I know how to make her better." I mutter.

I go across the hall to Konan's room, "Yo biatch!"

"Quit stealing my prnounciation!" Kitsune swings open the door and lets me in.

"You don't own the damn pronouncation."

"What's up, Hidan?" Konan smiles and waves.

"Out, Kitsune." I shove Kitsune out the room.

"But I was here first!"

I simply slam the dooor in her face and listen as she walks away, "What does Flavia see in him?"

"Konan, I need you to do me a favor."

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

"Wait wait wait! Why do I have to do it?" I whine. "I'm a horrible practice dummy!"

"You shouldn't have maimed Chibi." Pein mutters.

"He was in my landing area!"

"Start."

They blind folded Flavia so she could heighten her senses.

They put soon taped my mouth shut so she didn't know it was me.

I duck and dodge and resist the urge to fight back.

Damn bastards.

She backs me up against the wall and throws a punch, which I narrowly miss.

I flinch as chunks of ceiling come raining down.

"Oops! Did I get carried away?" Flavia takes the blindfold off. "Hey, Kitsune? What're you doing here!"

I pull the tape off, "Training dummy. I maimed Chibi."

After more training, I go on a walk, bored out of my mind.

_**"Hey, girl."**_A voice whispers.

I stop walking, "Who's there?"

_**"Hey girl, what is your dream?"**_

"To beat Momo, duh."

_**"I can help you."**_

A thick fog comes outta nowhere.

I cough, "Why's it so foggy?"

_**"Let me help you, Kitsune Uzumaki."**_

"Shit, enough with the fog!"

_**"Kitsune."**_

"Weirdo fog."

_**"Uzumaki."**_

"Hm?"

_**"Let me help you achieve your goal."**_

"How do I know you won't kill me?"

_**"I will show you the future..."**_

I stare into the swirly fog and see... Me?

**_'Yeah, biatch! I win! Kitsune is the best!" The future me laughs. 'Ain't so great now!'_**

**_'...Burn in hell.' Future Momo coughs._**

**_'Shut up,' Future me walked into the forest. 'I did it! I did it! I finally win!'_**

I back away from the fog and bump into the tree.

_**"Let me help you, Kitsune Uzumaki..."**_

"O...Ok!" I put my hands on my hips. "Help me fog! Help me kill Momo!"

**Momo's P.O.V**

I was sitting in my room with the window wide open breathing in the fresh Suna air.

Stupid brat.

"Hey Momo."

I whip around defensively, clutching a kunai.

"Hn, just turn on me then,"

"Sorry, Itachi. I was surprised." I settle on my bed.

"So, what's going on between you and Kitsune?" He sits next to me.

"What do you mean? We're the best of friends." I lie, and he knew it.

"Hn."

"Don't Hn me."

"I'll Hn you all I like." He pokes my forehead.

"Hmph."

* * *

><p>I got bored as Itachi soon left... But fog came in my room.<p>

"Ahhh! Its foggy!" I wave my arms in a fail attempt to clear the fog.

**_"Momo Hyuga..."_** A voice says. _**"What is your goal?"**_

"To kill Kitsune, everyone knows that."

This is weird.

_**"I will help you with your goal..."**_

"Suuure."

_**"It's true... Don't you want Kitsune dead?"**_

"I can do it myself."

_**"No. I've seen the future. Do you wish to be beaten?"**_

"Go away." I grumble stubbornly.

I stare at the ceiling at a future me.

**_'I crawled to my feet, glaring at Kitsune as she walked away._**  
><strong><em>I pull my sword out the ground and creep behind her.<em>**  
><strong><em>"Brat." I swing at her.<em>**  
><strong><em>About 2 screams are heard.<em>**  
><strong><em>I looked around catiously, "Is it over, fog? Did I do it?"'<em>**

I nod approvingly, "I accept your deal, fog. But whats your-"

The fog suddenly snaps away as Gaara opens the door.

"You ok, Momo?" Gaara asks. "I heard voices and I came to investigate."

"Eh? Just talking to myself... I'm not crazy!" I catch his look.

"Ok... I'm just gonna leave..."

"I'M NOT CRAZY GAARA-SAMA!"

* * *

><p><strong>XD Hi all, I wrote through the missing parts and turned it into all one chapter... So then, I found this one which made me RELLY happy cause this is an important part to the storyline! oh! And <span>xXDarkDragonessXx<span> got it right! It was Deidara! :D lawl, why you may ask? Cause he saw some videos on him on Kitsune's website.**

**Get it? Cause his bombs flash when they set off and cause fires! **

**Okay, now for another guessing game if you like... Who do you think the fog is? It's an actual person and he/she hasn't been introduced into the story yet(but he HAS been mentioned quite a bit).**


	47. Brownie Zombies

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

It was dark.

And I had chased Madara pretty far.

"Give it back, damnit!" I jump up and down, trying to reach.

"Naaah."

"Bastard!"

There's many MANY chinks as kunai are pulled out.

* * *

><p>"My head hurts!" I yell poutily.<p>

"If it hurts so much, why're you yelling?" Madara growls back.

"Just thought I'd announce it."

"Dumbass."

"Uchiha Madara and Uzumaki Kitsune." A deep voice chuckles. "The most pshyco members in the Akatsuki."

"Don't pair me with him(her)!" Me and Madara yell, then grimace at the headaches.

"We could do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Why does he get a blindfold?" I interrupt. "I gotta watch both interrogations, but he dosen't? That's sexist."

"That makes zero sense." Madara huffs. "Dumbass."

"Hmph." I pout.

"..."

"..."

"Kitsune?"

"..."

"Don't ignore me."

"You hurt my feelings."

"I always call you a dumbass."

"...Oh man, what the hell did they drug us with?" I shake my head.

"Would you guys shut up?" The interrogater growls.

"No." We reply truthfully with smirks. "We're having a very disrespectful conversation."

"Disrespectful..."

"Don't care." I glare. "You broke my blackmail DVD!"

"Listen up, I want information and I want it now."

"Uh-huh, that the best you can do?" Madara smirks.

The guys face turns red as he glares daggers at the Uchiha.

"Aww, thats mean Nii-san, at least give him a chance." I laugh.

"Didn't he break your blackmail?"

"..." I glare at the guy again. "Break him! Break him like he broke my blackmail!"

That's when I notice the looseness of my chains.

God, people underestimate me.

I pull my hands together and poof into a mouse, run to a safe distance, and go back to normal.

"Can't see me!" I cheer, unblind-folding Madara. "Never underestimate a girl!"

"Don't you dare start singing." Madara huffs as I free him.

"Why not!"

"Cause your singing's annoying."

"Just cause you said that, I'm force feeding you Easy-Bake cookies."

"Great."

We head back to the base, in a deep game of tag.

* * *

><p>"Untie me. Now." Madara growls.<p>

"You know I don't go back on my threats!" I drag my Easy-Bake oven out.

"Bitch."

The timer dings and I pull out the first batch of cookies, "Ok, these ones are chocolate chip! How do they taste?" I shove the cookie in his mouth and hold my hand over it.

He glares at me as I force more cookies into his mouth.

"EAT THE DAMN COOKIES!"

Pein walks in, takes one look at the scene, and walks out.

I throw a burnt cookie at his head, "Don't act like you don't see it!"

_**~~~(Hours later)~~~**_

"Ok, we've done chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, strawberry, frosted, almond, mint, and sugar cookies." I check off the list. "And NONE of them tasted good?"

"No, your cooking sucks." He snaps.

"God, so cranky." I crank up the Easy-Bake. "Ok, the last one is brownies!"

"No way am I eating any more of that half-cooked, proccessed food."

"Yes you are!" I cram a brownie into his mouth.

His expression is surprised and he finishes with his own will, "Not bad. Guess brownies are your thing."

"Woot! Woot!" I untie the Uchiha and start giving out the approved brownies.

"I... Don't think I wanna eat those." Pein backs away.

"Yes you do, they're delicious! I'm serious!" I whine.

"I really don't trust those Easy-Bake foods."

"Bastard..."

I shove a brownie in his mouth and dash away.

I then commense shoving brownies in everyones mouth, seeing if they like it or not and if it has any side effects.

Later on, I start selling my brownies for money, using transformation jitsu to look like a little girl.

I knock on the first door, "Would you wike to buy bwonies?"

I twitch at the new 'accent' I'd gotten.

"Aww, how cute!" The old lady pulls out her purse. "I'll take 2!"

"Here ya go!" I trade the brownies for money. "Thank joo!"

The next house was a bit harder.

"What do you want, brat?" This tall guy looms over me.

"Would joo wike to buy some bwonies?"

"No."

"Why nwot?"

"Your voice annoys me."

I clear my throat, "Buy some damn brownies."

He seems shocked and drops his wallet.

I grab a few hundred and give him 5 cookies, then skip off to the next house.

"Hewwo!" I wave at the young couple. "...'Ould joo wike to buy some bwonies?"

Ah shit, the accent got worse.

"Oh how cute, I love brownies!" The girl exclaims, paying me for a few brownies.

"Twank joo!"

I go house to house until I'm fresh out of brownies.

"Oh gwood, Madawa! Jour here!" I run up to the now taller Shinobi.

"Who the hell are you?" Madara glares down at me.

"I'm Kitsune, wetard."

"Yeah right."

"I did a twansformation jutsu and da accewnt fowowed me."

"Please tell me you weren't selling brownies."

"What? Why not?"

"The after effects made them zombies."

"Then why aren't you a zombie?"

"I'm immune to your Easy-Bake goods."

I undo the transformation and look around curiously.

"...Guess your right." I stare at the large group of zombies coming towards us. "But are they moaning brownies?"

"Don't know, don't care, lets go!" Madara turns around and walks out the village.

"Hey, wait up!"


	48. MY EYE!

Thankfully, the Easy-Bake Zombies were only temporarily.

But now we were faced with a new(equally weird) problem.

"What the fuck is in the middle of my floor?" Pein growls.

"He did it." I point to Madara.

"Whaddya mean I did it?" Madara pops my head. "You don't even know what it is!"

"It's a black hole." Sasori examines it.

"Thank you, Proffeser obvious." Flavia scoffs.

"It's probably the same thing that sent us here." Dinah comments knowingly.

"The Krusty Krab Pizza. Is the pizza. For you and me!" I sing.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan shoves me.

"No, you shut the fuck up!" I shove him back, a bit to hard.

He falls backwards into the blackhole.

But being the ninja is, he grabs my foot, I grab Sasori's foot, he grabs Flavia's foot, she grabs Madara's foot, he grabs Kakuzu's foot, who grabs Konan, who grabs Deidara, who grabs Itachi, who grabs Pein who holds on to the couch.

"I hate interdimensional travel! Pull us up, damnit!" I growl.

"Who do you think your talking too?" Pein growls back.

"PLEASE pull us up."

Pein summons his paths and they rescue us from the black hole, which we cover with a thick slab of wood.

"This day. Was fucking retarded." Madara comments, moodily.

"Yellow diamonds in the light! Where we're standing is so so fine!" I sing. "As a shadow crossed his mind! What it takes to come aliiiiiive!"

"Cause the way I'm feeling I just can't deny, I gotta let it goo!" Flavia joins.

"We found love in a hopeless place!"

"We found love in a hopeless place!"

"We found love in a hoooopelesssss plaaaaace!"

"Are you guys serious?" Zetsu grimaces.

"It's a true song!" Flavia throws a pillow at him. "I mean, we were SUPPOSE to be with Konoha, but instead we went with the Akatsuki."

"And we fell in love with them!" I chime helpfully.

"And you claimed Madara as your twin brother," Garret adds. "Which makes no sense cause he's older and dosen't have the right hair color."

"Psh, well Deidara's my boyfriend and Sasori's to serious! Besides, he was Momo's replacement."

"I thought I was Momo's replacement!" Dinah exclaims.

"..."

"Dosen't that song apply to Momo too?" Flavia mutters, tapping her chin.

"Yeah, I think her and Itachi have something going on."

"Oh yeah, and it applies to Garret cause he's with Temari!"

"What? Really?" Konan gasps.

"Yup." I nod. "But they don't do much."

"Hmm, maybe I should come with you guys next time you try to play stalker."

Flavia smiles deviously, "Fem Cupid and Love Guru are back in business!"

"Oh yeah!" I cheer, pulling her into the back room. "Ok, Fem Cupid, whoes first?"

"I say we get Pein and Konan together! They make a good couple!" She whispers excitedly.

"Ok, now for brain storming!"

* * *

><p>I look at the many pieces of paper work, making sure to copy his hand writing perfectly.<p>

Flavia got Konan... Stupid coin.

Once I finish the note, I switch on his computter and get to work on the website... Deidara told me the password! Hooray!

Lots of questions of where I went.

The first line of the blog is, _"No I'm not dead."_

After that, I post 3 video's as a late Christmas present.

"Watcha doin?"

I ex off the tab and whip around, "Nothing."

Madara flicks my head, "I swear if your back on that website."

"Of course I'm not, someone hacked it, remember?"

I wait for him to leave before posting pictures of him and Pein drunk-cross-dressing.

The computer dings, annoucning a new PM.

_ 'I miss you, please come back home. :( Is there a special reason your staying there? ...Your not pregnant are you? O.O_  
><em> ~Naruto.'<em>

I sigh and reply back, _'Yuck, no I'm not pregnant. If anyone's gonna have a baby it's mom. I stay here for... The fun of annoying S-ranked criminals!'_

I shut down the computer and dash out the room.

"FEM CUPID!" I shout at the top of the steps. "GET UP HERE!"

"I'm right here." Flavia pokes her head out our room.

"Oh..."

_**~~~(later that night)~~~**_

"Great, they came!" I whisper kinda loud.

"Go lock the door." Flavia whispers back.

I groan and lock the door, and grab the stereo.

Me and Flavia were sitting on the bar that held up the roof, wich isn't such a good idea but its the best seat.

Flavia slides down and sets out the food(Sushi) then goes back to hiding.

Konan throws a piece at us, "Get the hell out."

"Whyy?" I whine.

She throws a FORK at me.

"Ok ok, fine."

Me and Flavia exit the room, rejectedly.

"Ah!" Konan walks up. "Leave the stereo."

"But its my stereo!"

"And I want it."

"Fine."

"Thanks, Kit." Konan whispers as she takes the stereo.

I nod with a satisfied smile and leave.

* * *

><p>"Fuck you, its mine!" I crawl on top of the fridge where he couldn't reach.<p>

"I MADE IT."

"Well I got the cup out!"

"Oh yeah, you did so much." Madara rolls his eyes. "You don't even like coffee that way."

I take a sip, wait a few second, then do a spit take, "You can have it."

"Dumbass." He smirks, taking the cup back.

"Dinah! He's calling me names!" I huff.

"...Why're you on the fridge?" Dinah stares.

"That's not important."

"And dosen't he always call you names?"

"It's not that, it's the principal! You can't just go around calling people names!"

"You do it all the ti-"

"ANBU! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" A voice commands from the front room.

"Hold on, I need my morning coffee." I hop off the fridge and make some coffee. "Ok, continue."

"Your coming with us!" One of the ANBU grab Garret.

"Hey, Nii-san, have you ever noticed the ANBU masks look kinda like kitties?" I turn to Madara.

"Yeah, why?"

"Just thought I'd ask."

"You guys are oddly calm." Pein sits on the counter next to me.

"Used to it." Madara shrugs. "You think we should check for chips in these 3?"

"Why would I have a chip in me?" I give him a weird look.

"A **TRACKING**chip."

"Ohhh."

"Retard."

"Dinah! He did it again!"

"Not now, Kitsune!" Dinah huffs, in the middle of fighting.

I walk up to this really tall ANBU and tug on his shirt sleeve.

"What?" He glares.

"Him." I point at Madara. "He called me a bad name!"

Anyone who heard that face palmed.

Flavia pops my head.

"THIS IS DOMESTIC ABUSE!" I exclaim.

"DAMN RIGHT! THIS WHOLE ORGANIZATION IS DOMESTIC ABUSE!" Flavia yells back, snapping her fingers in a Z motion.

"She's right." Pein shrugs.

"Hm, yeah..." I nod. "Everyone abuses each other."

"This is retarded." The tall ANBU growls. "They're not even taking us serious,"

"Dude, your wearing a kitty mask. How am I spose to take you serious?" I roll my eyes, then catch his fist and hit him with my frying pan.

"Kitsune, your out of character." Madara announces.

"Blame the author."

"Don't break the damn fourth wall!"

I cabbage patch, "I wi-in! You lo-ose! I wi-in! You lo-OW!"

That ANBU stabbed me!

I kick the kunai out his hands and walk away poutily. He grabs another one and follows me. I duck and see another kunai coming right in my face. I scream bloody murder and run away.

Then I come back for my coffee.

The Akatsuki wipe the anbu's minds and they leave.

"Well..." I watch as Konan bandages my ankle. "That was a fun day."

Konan sighs and removes the kunai from my eye, "The things that hurt you. Now your blind in one eye."

I take this into consideration for a long time, dropping my coffee mug in horror, "WHAT!"

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Kitsune... <strong>


	49. A quest for two

**_'Voice-sensei'(as Kitsune calls him)  
><em>**_'Kyuubi'  
>Thought<br>_"Speech"

* * *

><p><strong>TIME SKIP OF DOOM, OH YEAH!<strong>

"Wh-What...?" I stare up at Pein. "Your kicking me o-out?"

He nods.

"Why?"

"Your useless."

"Don't make her feel bad, Pein." Madara smirks.

"Oh come on, I have to leave but Garret and Flavia don't!"

"Uh, Garret already left."

"But he has the right to come back."

"True."

"Flavia's is having special training." Pein states.

"Fine, I'll leave, but don't wipe my mind." I smirk. "I enjoy the knowledge you gave me."

"Psssh, you just don't wanna forget that yaoi jutsu Konan taught you." Madara rolls his eyes.

"Maaaaybe. But hey, I'll always know how to extract a biju. And how to destroy things, with CLASS."

"Bye Nii-chan." Madara waves.

"Bye Nii-san, bye Pein!" I sit in the middle of the scroll as they send my lazy ass to Konoha.

"Oh, and when you get home, ask them to implant this." Madara tosses me a box. "That bandage does NOT look good on you."

"I can't believe you just said that!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>'This just makes your goal easier,'<strong>_

"True true, but I'll miss them." I shrug.

**_'You can go back after Momo's dead.'_**

"Ok..."

I get curious and open the box Madara gave me.

Its an eye... A black one to be precise.

**_'How nice of him.'_**

I reclose the box, really happy I'd be able to see normal again.

As I walk into the front gate, people were staring at me.

Guess its not normal for someone wearing an Akatsuki cloak to walk into a village without any tricks.

I go up to Sakura, "Sakura-chan, do you know how to implant an eye?"

"Uh uh, yes?" She stares, surprised.

"Implant this one." I give her a box and point to my bandaged eye. "Into this socket."

She nods, takes me to the alley and gets to work.

* * *

><p>"I'm home..." I say, not all to excited.<p>

"Kitsune!" Kushina hugs me, her stomach kicking me. "You came home!"

I sigh, "Yeah."

"What's with your eye?" Naruto points at the very noticable black-colored eye.

"Nii-san... I mean, uh, Madara gave it to me."

Minato twitches at my habit of calling the "evil mastermind" my brother.

I mean, we(me and Madara) don't have a good past with each other, but we both barely remember it.

So best friends it is.

"Kitsune, how do you get so close to criminals?" He groans. "They're the reason your life is so fucked up,"

"YAY! BACK STORY TIME!" Me and Garret cheer.

"Ok then." Kushina stares.

"Well, Garret... Things weren't to bad with you considering your last born. But Kitsune, I think, got the worst of it being second born." Minato starts. "Naruto was more... Sheltered."

"Psh, see how it is," I pout. "Tell my back story like that... Continue."

"When Kitsune was 3, it was decieded that she would take a piece of Kyuubi off of Naruto to avoid any accidents."

"Did I get any?" Garret asks.

"Yes." Kushina nods.

Minato continues, "Well, we gave her a bit to much of Kyuubi's will and chakra, so it made her a bit unstable."

"Why do people keep using that word?" I throw a pillow at him.

"Then, the Akatsuki came into the picture. Madara kidnapped you at age 4 and hid you while he tried to figure out how to use your power."

"And the first thing that came to his mind WASN'T biju extraction?" I question.

Everyone stares in shocked silence.

"Sorry, I've been around them for a year now."

"Anyways... We found you, but in a bad attempt to keep you hidden, the previous Hokage sent you to that other world. Which triggered the release of Kyuubi."

"Kyuubi likes me." I shrug. "He rarely tries to get released, considering we're a lot alike."

"It may have something with his will being in you." Kushina points out.

"But then wouldn't he try to break free?"

_'Stop talking about me.'_

"Well fine then." I pout. "Kyuubi says stop talking about him."

More weird looks.

"She tamed Kyuubi before me!" Naruto exclaims.

"Oh yeah, take that big brother!" I stand up on the coffee table. "I'M gonna be the next Hokage!"

"Since when is the Hokage a former Akatsuki member?" Garret smirks.

...

"WAAAAHHH!" I collapse onto the couch. "MY DREAMS ARE CRUSHED! PAST AND FUTURE!"

"That wasn't neccesary, Garret." Minato mutters.

"Thumb sucker." I grumble. "I could EASILY become Hokage."

"How?"

"Garret got his assed kicked for hitting on Leader's girlfriend." I announce.

"Kitsune, you big mouth!" Garret attacks me with a pillow.

"Wait wait wait! Watch!" I laugh, turning to Minato and doing hand signs. "Taa-daa!"

Everyone stares in shock as I erase Minato's memory from the last 10 seconds.

"Criminals sure do have there perks." I lick my fingers.

"Perv." Garret snickers.

"EWW! I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!" I cover my ears. "MY VIRGIN EARS! IT BUUUURNS!"

"Your not even a virgin."

"Huh?" Kushina stares. "S-Since when haven't you been a virgin?"

"A few years actually, Deidara was kinda disapointed about that. But I made up for it in OTHER ways."

"Pervert!" Garret hits me with a pillow.

"Oww! Don't hit my head, I just had back alley surgery!"

"My bad, wouldn't wanna damage your new eye."

"Exactly."

"I was kidding."

"I know."

"I can't believe it." Kushina sits down and stares at the ceiling. "My little girl grew up with out me."

"Psssh, you wouldn't believe how much growing up I still have to do."

"So, is a piece of Kyuubi going in the new baby?" Garret asks.

"...We don't know." Kushina mumbles, rubbing her belly.

"WHAT NEW BABY!" I exclaim in shock.

* * *

><p>I walk around the village, then stare at Hinata.<p>

"Hinata-chan!" I call out. "Wanna go get some ice cream with me and Naruto?"

"S-S-Sure." Hinata smiles shyly.

I lead her to the ice cream shop and we sit down with Naruto.

"H-Hi Naruto-kun." Hinata smiles.

"Hi Hinata!" Naruto waves.

"Oh!" I point out the window. "Sakura finished fixing my cloak, bye guys!"

"K-Kitsune!" Hinata calls out, embarrased.

I claim my Akatsuki cloak from Sakura and immediatly put it on, "God it's cold here. You like coffee?"

"No, but I think Kiba does."

"Ok good!" I go looking for Kiba and find him at the coffee shop(of course). "Kiba-kun! Hi!"

I sit across from him and order a coffee, "Yeah, I know this is sudden and not to normal, but uh... Who're you instrested in?"

"Err, don't be offended cause I barely know you, but I'm not intrested." Kiba stares.

"Oh, your really funny Shikamaru!" I force a laugh at the unneeded rejection. "But seriously, who do you like?"

"I guess... Ino, but DON'T tell anyone." He mutters. "I don't even think she notices me."

I get that devious smile I can't keep away, "Love Guru to the rescue."

"Wh-what!"

"See ya later, Love-bird!" I giggle.

"Kitsune, stay out of it!" He chases after as I run out the coffee shop, my latte in hand.

"Dun na na na Na na! na na na na na na!" I sing my theme song as I run.

Then I stop under a tree and chug down the rest of my coffee.

"Pttoo!" I spit out. "God, you guys coffee sucks! I need my own coffee maker!"

Yep thats me, switching from task to task faster than you can say "Stop!".

...That sounds better in my head...

Anyways, after I lost Kiba, I toss my coffee cup aside and look through the store trying to find the perfect coffee maker.

"Woah..." I stare at this shiny red one, then stare at the price. "1500 Dollars! Its a fucking coffee maker!"

"The newest model of coffee maker!" A sales person chimes.

"It's still unreasonable." I do some handsigns behind my back and focus on the lady. "Grab the coffee maker and bring it out back."

"O...K..." The lady replies, following my orders.

"Damn I love being criminal."

I go around back and claim my coffee maker, "You didn't see anything."

* * *

><p>I wake up very confused.<p>

"Why am I strapped to a chair?" I mutter. "Helloooo? Anyone in heeere?"

"Hey Kitsune, long time no see." Ibiki comes into view. "I think you have an idea of why your here?"

"Because you loove me." I pull my magazine out my cloak and read it boredly.

Yes, they only strapped my waist and feet down.

A different guy snatches the magazine out my hand, "Your gonna answer our questions, got it!"

I stare in silence for a few moments, "I was reading that."

...

...

...

After many more switches between the two, I get tired of it.

"Guys, I know what your trying to do. Your playing good cop, bad cop." I roll my eyes, then smirk. "But uh, I'm usually bad cop."

"Crap, she's onto us." The different guy grumbles.

"And another thing: why am I being questioned when I don't know anything?"

"You've been with the Akatsuki and you haven't learned a thing about them?" Ibiki stares.

"Yeah, pretty much. I know their names... Their age... And maybe one or two of their jitsu's."

"You are useless." Ibiki facepalms, untying me.

"...Well then." I leave the room rejectedly.

_**'They under estimate you too much'**_

"I know, but we'll show em, right?"

_**'Yesss, just follow what I say.'**_

"Hai!"

* * *

><p>"Yaaay! A mission!" I cheer.<p>

"You sure it's safe for her to be leaving?" Sakura whispers.

"I didn't leave the Akatsuki, I was kicked out."

"For what reason?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Once we get to the village, I'm surprised we were suppose to be protecting royalty.

We were given rooms that connected to the princesses room on every side to assure her "safety".

Naruto got North, Sakura got South, Sai got East and I got West.

* * *

><p>I balance on the roof of the building, trying not to fall.<p>

'Balance damnit! Balance!'

"Ok!" I whisper.

I crawl into a meeting a stare down at the princess, "I'm so sorry."

I pick her up bridal style and run off into the night.

**(I)(Dedicate)(This)(Line)(To a)(Timeskip)(pine)(line)(line)(line)**(line)(line)(line)****(line)(line)(line)****(line)(line)(line)****(line)(line)(line)**  
><strong>  
>I sit in the cave and stare at the princess tied up in front of me.<p>

"Y-You! Your that red-head! What's going on?" She yells.

"I dunno... My voice said I needed you for something."

"What!" The princess stares at me like I'm crazy(which I probably am).

_**'Get her necklace!'**_

"Ok ok, no need to be in a rush." I shrug.

"Wh-What do you want? Money? Booze? Sex?"

"Psssh, I have both those things. You get booze, sell some for money, and buy more booze. Repeat." I roll my eyes. "And sorry hon, I don't go that way... I think."

Princess just stares.

"Do I look like the type that likes girls? I don't think I am but..."

_**'Kitsune, focus!'**_

"Oh yeah, Imma need that magical necklace of yours!" I remember. "Where is it?"

_**'Its around her neck, dumbass.'**_

"Oh..." I snatch the necklace of Princess's neck and examine it. "Dosen't look all that special."

_**'Just put it on.'**_

**Momo's P.O.V**

I was sleeping rather peacefully until that stupid voice woke me up.

_'Ya need something?'_ I growl in my mind. _'I was sleeping.'_

**_'You have a job to do... I need you to retrieve a sssspecial item... It'll make you much more powerful.'_**

"Ugh, do I have to do it right now?" I pull on my clothes. "Where is it?"

_**'The Sound Village.'**_

_'DO YOU KNOW HOW FAR THAT IS!'_

_**'Don't you want to defeat Kitsune?'**_

_'Yeah, but seriously. I have missions to do, students to teach. I can't just disapear like that.'_

'**_Then ask for a mission.'_**

_'Fine, we'll see.'_


	50. A little more quest and a game of tag

**Momo's P.O.V**

I glare at the sky, extremly tired and irratable.

**_'Almost there, Momolita.'_**

_'Don't call me that.'_

_**'Why not?'**_

_'Cause it sounds retarded.'_

**_'But its your name.'_**

_'No, Momo's my name and I'm not gonna argue with a voice in my head.'_

I pull myself over the 4 foot overhang and look around, "Where the hell am I?"

**_'Just keep walking and mind the booby traps.'_**

_'Haha. Booby traps...'_

**_'I will never understand kids these days.'_**

_'Hm?'_

I jump upwards, avoiding a three-pointed blade, "What the hell!"

_**'I said mind the booby traps.'**_

"Well can I at least know where I am?"

**_'Your much more polite..'_**

_'ANSWER THE QUESTION!'_

**_'Your in the safe haven of all dangerous weapons. Go in and choose-no-let one choose you.'_**

_'Whatever.'_

I pick up the three-pointed blade and weigh it in my hand, "Those weapons better be worth my time."

I use the blade to deflect any more booby traps set to kill me. And there were a lot of those.

I finally manage to get to the door and drop the now use less blade. Now I realize that someone was already here... And they made a big mess of the weapons.

_'Yo voice, what's with this mess? Hope you don't expect me to clean it up.'_

I twitch as a large sword pierces the wall next to me.

"Whoes there?" I hiss.

No answer.

I go deeper in and look through all the weapons, weilding each one.

I pick up a double-sided katana and smirk, "I think I like this one."

That SAME SWORD from before just barely misses my hands and knocks the katana from my hand.

_'Voice, what the HELL is going on.'_

**_'I said your weapon has to choose you.'_**

_'But I don't like that weapon.'_

I roll my eyes as a sigh echoes through my head.

I'm really starting to hate this voice. It might be trying to help, but it's really quite annoying with it's sarcastic nature. It's worse than Madara... And that's saying a lot. How does Kitsune stand that man?

I sift through more weapons, much more carefully than the person before. That stupid sword was persistant as ever and lodges itself in my arm.

**_'Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark.'_**

"FUCK! AHH! GOD DAMN FUCKING SWORD!" I shreik, clutching my arm.

I pull the sword out and examine it, "Maybe your not to bad... But damn that hurted."

The sword makes a PURRING SOUND that resembled an apology.

_'What freaky weapons are these?'_

I exit the 'sacred place' and practice weilding my sword.

It was actually rather big and white in color(with streaks of black).

I kinda like it...

**_'C'mon don't get distracted.'_**

I roll my eyes at the voice and make my way back home.

The 4th Great Ninja War is being attempted... Oh goody.

And Kitsune's mom is knocked up... What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

Note the sarcasm.

I stop by a store to get something to strap the sword to my back so I wouldn't have to carry it all over the place. Boy is Temari gonna be surprised.

My thoughts drift to whether or not I'd ever return to Konoha, but then again, do I want to? I mean, I hear the Akatsuki are gonna take them over first, but at the same time, I kinda miss the Hyuga's.

Hm... Who would've thunk me and Flavia are techniqually related? I mean, we look nothing alike.

I have brown hair, she has black hair. My eyes are hazel, her's are black. I'm good, she's evil.

Oh, and I have that X thingy in the middle of my forehead, she dosen't.

I finally make it back to Suna, greeting the guys who gaurd the village gates.

"Hey, Gaara-sama! I'm back!" I knock on his office door.

"Come in, Momo." Gaara replies, as emotionless as always.

I take a seat in front of his desk and smile brightly.

"Momo... I was looking through some paper work and I found an old newspaper... Do you know what the headline was?"

"No what?" I cock my head to the side.

"Akatsuki burn the book store." Gaara tosses the newspaper between us.

The front page picture was decently taken. It was Flavia freaking out and running off in one direction, with me and Kitsune blaming each other front and center, me pointing at the building, her waving her arms around.

_'Stop waving your fucking arms!'_

_'I'll wave my arms all I want!'_

_And to prove her point, she swung her arms in many different directions._

"Um... I can explain." I sigh.

And I launch into the whole story of how I was poofed into this world a few months ago, stayed with the Akatsuki for awhile, and coming here to train after my fight with Kitsune... Leaving out the fact that I was dating Itachi of course, that woudln't look to good.

Gaara couldn't help but stare after I finish, now knowing my life story.

Suddenly, a siren goes off, scaring the crap outta me. And that siren means Akatsuki are in the village.

I walk calmly over to the window and open it up, staring out over the village.

A high-pitched scream that was a mix of fear and laughter erupts from not to far.

"Relax Gaara." I sigh. "They're playing tag."

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I scream-laugh yet again as another bomb goes off near me.

I love the desert when I play tag. Nothing gets in my way, except for buidlings of course.

I hop onto a picnic base, "THIS IS BASE!"

"What the hell!" Madara stops abrubtly. "You can't just randomly call something as base!"

"Yu-huh." I cross my arms.

"No, you can't. We already established when we first started in Konoha that the kage's building would be base."

I pout and look away, "I don't wanna play anymore."

You may wonder why I'm playing tag with Madara after I was(very rudely) kicked out the Akatsuki? Welp, I was walking around bored out of my mind when I found him. Wouldn't leave him alone until he played tag with me.

"..."

Madara blows me up into the nearest building.

"OW! I SAID I WASN'T PLAYING!" I sheild my head as stuff on the shelf I tipped falls.

"You dumbass, we ran all the way to Suna for nothing." He glowers.

"Your the one who changed the rules!"

"I didn't change anything! You quit because you couldn't change base!"

We continue arguing back and forth, even as Suna ninja's surrond us.

"Look. Would you like to take over a small village? Will that make you feel better?" I huff.

Madara gives me a brief nod.

"Then let's go, these ninja look bored." I lead the way.

"Why the hell are you leading the way? You have zero sense of direction." Madara shoves me softly(as soft as he can get).

I pick myself off the ground, all to use to this, "Because my zero sense of direction is gonna find us an epic ass village."

"I'm really starting to question whether or not I actually trained you."

"What's that spose to mean!"

"Oh, Hey Gaara. Momo. Temari. Kitty-Ninja." Madara glances up at the 4 top ninja of this village.

"Kitty Ninja!" Kankuro's eye twitches.

"Hey, she taught me the name's." He jabs his thumb my way. "Blame her."

"It's nice to know people's names." I mutter, annoyed that the attention was on me now.

"What're you doing in my village?" Gaara says very slowly as if we were retarded.

"We're mental, not retarded Shukaku." Madara snaps. "Get it right."

I smack him upside the head, "It's Gaara not Shukaku."

"I don't really care."

"Yes you do!"

"It dosen't even matter!"

"YES IT DOES! Shukaku's in your friggin statue and Gaara is standing right fucking there!"

"State your business." Gaara cuts in.

"...Whut?" Me and my Uchiha friend stare, confused.

Gaara facepalms and Temari takes over.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" Temari questions.

"Playing tag." Madara replies with a poker face.

The corner of Temari's mouth twitches, threatening to go into a smile, "How can you say that with a serious face?"

"Tag is the only game that I can play and still be taken seriously."

"Eh?"

"What game are we playing next, Nii-san?" I cock my head to the side.

He gives me an evil smirk, "We're gonna play Blow You To Bits."

"But I don't wanna play BYTB." I pout.

"Don't care."

I shreik and run from the equally mental leader, in the basic direction of Ame.

Madara sends a majority of fire based jutsu's my way.

"ACK! I QUIT! I QUIT! YOU WIIIIN!" I yell, diving behind a sand dune.

"It dosen't work that waaay!"

"I HATE THIS GAME!"


	51. Lockdown

I cling to Madara's waist, pretty sure he would leave me if I let go, fire hurts.

"Let go, Kitsune."

"Not till we get to the near home."

"..."

"..."

"Why again are you clinging to me?"

"Cause I'm to tired to walk." I groan. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: I'm not a runner."

"Of course your not." He replies sarcastically.

"Maadaaaraaaaa!" I whine. "Carryyy meeeee!"

"No."

"Pleeeaaaaasssse?"

"..."

"Madaaaaraaaaaaa!"

"..."

"Maaaaadaaa-"

"You sound wrong."

I shut my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut, "I bet you get off on my noise."

_**TWHACK!**_

"Ow! Why the hell do you hit so hard!" I snap, finally releasing him and walking beside him. "AND you didn't deny i-"

_**TWHACK!**_

"Ow! Damnit! Owww!" I hold my head.

"I thought you couldn't walk?" He teases.

"...Shut up, Madara." I groan.

* * *

><p>"Carry me! Carry me, Madara! Carry meeeeeeee!"<p>

"If I carry you will you shut. Up?" Madara scowls.

"Yep."

"I carry you later."

"HEY!"

"Kitsune, time to go home." Minato hops in front of us, sending a glare Madara's way.

"But! But! He said he would carry meee!" I whine.

"Hey, uh, Kitsune, don't you have some match making to do?" Madara pipes in.

"OH YEAH!" I hug the Uchiha and run to my fathers side. "BYE NII-SAN!"

Your probably wondering what the hell I'm doing with Madara, even though I'm kicked out the Akatsuki.

Well, the first reason was because I found him in the woods and wouldn't leave him alone till we played one more game. The second reason is a secret, heh.

Ya know, when I think of it.

"Stop calling him that." Minato scolds, surprised when I flinch. "Why'd you flinch like that?"

"Yeah, Kitsune, why'd you flinch like that?" Madara teases.

"..." I cross my arms and let out the only reasonable response. "Hn." I turn around and walk away.

"Don't steal my sound!" Madara throws a rock at me.

"OW DAMNIT!"

* * *

><p>I sit in the kitchen, making myself a big mug of coffee.<p>

"Kitsune! That's enough coffee!" Kushina scolds, pressing off the machine.

"MOOOM!" I shriek. "I NEED MY GALLON OF COFFEE EVERYDAY!"

"How did you even GET addicted to coffee like this!"

"Madara was sick." I answer bluntly and sip my coffee.

"Kitsune, how'd you get that coffee maker?" Garret smirks, knowing me all to well.

"..."

"..."

"Go fuck Temari."

"Kitsune! Watch your language!" Minato shouts.

"HE STARTED IT!" I whine.

"And now I'm ending it!"

"Go fuck Kushina!"

"..."

"..."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Kushina roars.

"AHHH! I DIDN'T MEAAAN IT! IT'S A HAAABIT!" I run through the house, throwing the things in the woman's path.

Kushina tackles me to the ground, shaking me back and forth by my collar, "What is wrong with you! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!"

"IIIII'M SOOOORRRYYYYY!"

Kushina releases me and stalks away.

I go into fetal position and suck my thumb, "She's scarier than Konan..."

"You sure about that?" Garret pats my head, trying to comfort me.

"I don't know."

"Mom! Your traumatizing Kitsune!" Naruto announces.

"She should be used to it!"

"All to true!" I jump onto my feet and go pout on the couch. "I miss my blonde furballl!" I whine, tears threatening to fall, cause I missed everyone.

"Kushina, this is your area." Minato calls out.

"Oh, so just cause Imma woman, means I gotta deal WITH BOY PROBLEMS, EH!"

"Nevermind."

I keep forgetting she's pregnant...

And still, no one comes to comfort me, so I wallow in self pity on the couch.

I sit there for 10 minutes before Naruto, Minato and Garret start feeling awkward.

There's a knock on the door, the ninja's thankful for the visitor.

"Hello, Uzumaki family!" Ino laughs. "Um... What's wrong with Kitsune?"

"She's in self-pity mode." Garret rolls his eyes. "Misses the Akatsuki."

"Oh..." Ino sweatdrops. "And you don't even try to comfort her! Sheesh! You really do need more females in this family!"

Ino takes a seat next to me, wrapping her arms around me comfortingly.

"Thanks, Ino-chan..." I sigh all shuddery-like.

"Now tell me, what's wrong? Why do you miss the Akatsuki?"

"Because! I miss Flavia, she's my only best friend left, here in Konoha, practically everyone shuns me except for Naruto and his friends! I miss making fun of Pein and getting away with it, I miss having random contests with the others, I miss making Itachi talk!" I blink back the tears. "I miss getting drunk, getting captured, pissing enemies off and escaping constantly! I miss the pointless arguements and the blackmail opportunity's! I miss having to bash S-ranked criminals over the head with my trusty frying pan!" I clutch said item, every dent and chink holding a memory(i am so not a drama queen.) "I miss making my equally psycho, Uchiha, step-brother insane and getting him pissed off! The thing is, you guys only see the bad in the Akatsuki. You guys saw everytime they hit me, dropped me, or hurt me in anyway, but they've always been there for me and always will be! Anyways, I usually deserve it for the things I do to them. I miss them all! Maybe it's because I become attached to things, maybe because they're like an insane, evil second family! Weasel-kun, Fishy-kun, The Zombie Bro's, Pinnochio, Dinah-chan, Zetsu-danna, Rape-chan, Pein-sama, and even Nii-san, no matter how unstable he is! But, the person I miss MOST is my blonde furball!"

Ino giggles, "That's actually a good nickname for him,"

"What's a blonde furball?" Naruto questions.

"HE'S MY BLONDE FURBAAALLLL!" I whine. "Mine mine mine! Not anyone else's! Not even yours Naruto! Or Minato! Or Garret! OR KUSHINA!"

"If you miss them so much, why not go back like you always do?" Ino questions.

"They kicked me out..." I mumble.

"O-Oh..."

"Pein said I wasn't strong enough..."

"I guess calling him Leader never stuck." Garret smirks.

"I WANT MY FURBALL BACK!" I roar, just as moody as Kushina. "DAMN YOU PEIN!"

"Kitsune," Kushina comforts me. "It'll be ok, he's just a boy."

"There's no one else who'd accept me..." I make whiny little noises from the back of my throat. "Deidara's different... And a bit off in his mind, which is great! And the way his hair is, it's just... So... GRABBABLE. And.. And... There's so many things I have to say about him, but I can't say, because they're inapropriate!"

"So you only love him for sex?"

"NO!" I growl out. "Deidara was wonderful in so many ways, I can't even describe! His speech impidement is just so cute, and the way he sticks his tounge out when he's working on his art, the way his art explodes!"

"We get it..."

"I miss them all so much..." I pout.

"I know!" Ino snaps her fingers. "You could go match making!"

"I don't have my Fem-Cupid..."

"Uh... Uh... I could be your Fem-Cupid!"

"I guess..." I bite my thumb in thought. "Ok! First victim-I mean, customer! TENTEN! AND NEJJJIIIII!"

I drag Ino out the house, into the rain, in search of the two who were MADE FOR EACH OTHER!

"Kitsune! It's raining!" Ino whines.

"None shall stop my match making! Rain, nor shine! Snow, nor hail! Rabid wolves, nor evil midgets!"

"Uh... What?"

_**~~~(The next month)~~~**_

I smirk to myself as Tenten and Neji go walking together, now a happy couple.

"I feel so proud of myself, Temporary Fem-Cupid." I sigh, contently. "Ok, well, I gotta head home."

"Please. You just wanna get out the sun." Ino smirks.

"I burn easily!"

"Yeah yeah, heard it a million times! Tire easily, burn easily, bruise easily, what don't you do easily?"

"I don't submit easily." I smirk, suggestively.

"Ewww, don't talk that way!"

I head home and climb through Garret's window.

"Don't jump out at me! I lost my keys!" I announce.

"You could always try the front door." Garret scoffs.

"I'm grounded, remember?" I scoff right back.

"Oh yeah, Ms. Put-Tsunade-In-The-Hospital."

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"

"Yeah, and now because dad can't with this baby on the way, DANZO'S currently in charge."

"Garret, when I die, I want you to bury me near the ocean, under a nice and shady tree."

"Drama Queen. Deidara, Madara, Flavia and Konan'd probably get Pein to bring you back to life."

"True, true."

"..."

"But maybe not, since I'm not in the Akatsuki anymore," I stick my tounge out, trying to resist a smile.

"Yeah... About that... We need to talk."

"Aw man, fine... But DON'T tell mom and dad."

"Don't tell mom and dad what?" Said people barge into the room.

"..." Me and Garret stare in surprise.

"Well?" Minato raises his eyebrow.

"That..." I sigh and bow my head. "I'M KINKY AND PROUD!"

Garret gives me a look that said 'Your very dedicated to secrets'.

"WHAAAAT!" Kushina's jaw drops. "And your discussing this with your brother because!"

"Well it's not like I could talk about it with you guys! Maybe Naruto, but he's been on a bunch of missions, and Danzo won't send me on any! HOW AM I SPOSE TO PAY MY BILLS!"

"What bills?" Minato questions.

"My damage bills... That Danzo said I HAD to pay." I cross my arms and glower. "Stupid old geezer."

"I resent that."

I shreik in surprise, whip around, and smack the current Hokage with the back of my hand.

"..."

Awkward silence..

"In my defence, you snuck up on me." I grumble, stomping out the room to retrieve my scythe and coming back. "And what the hell do you want!"

"Why'd you bring a weapon?" Danzo glares.

"In case you try anything." I sneer back. "I have this feeling you want me dead."

"I do have that feeling."

"That's good, cause I hate you too."

"Kitsune," Kushina warns, smacking me upside the head, tossing my hair out of place.

"He started it!" I snap.

"Shut up, brat," Danzo sneers.

"SEE!"

"Danzo, I really think you should let her take a mission, because, well." Minato smiles sheepishly. "She's getting a bit antsy as you can see."

"Send me on an assasination mission, damnit! I can pretend it's YOU MR. FREAKY ARMS!" I roar.

"KITSUNE!" Kushina smacks her hand over my mouth.

"Oh, she can go on a mission," Danzo gives me a creepy smile. "Here's your breifing." He gives me a folder.

I look over it and give it right back to him, "Do you want your office fixed or not? Cause if not, we can just call it a day."

"I gave you a mission, _DIDN'T I?_"

"I'm not gonna kill Flavia's boyfriend." I state. "And I can't. He's immortal. And I won't capture him. Or decapitate him. Or none of that. I'm not a traitor." I resist saying 'unlike you' but my glare said it all. "How bout this: you give me a mission of MY CHOICE."

Danzo sneers and gives me other 3 choices.

Kill a group of Ame-spies, raid an Ame hideout, or destroy at least one Akatsuki base.

"Mmkay, how bout this be my mission: Kill you."

"Kitsune! Where's your respect!" Minato snaps. "Being around those criminals has really changed you!"

My seal flairs at everyone being against me, "Yeah? Well I know things YOU DON'T! Ok! Danzo needs to die, like, NOW! And I'm sure Naruto agrees with me cause Danzo wants Sasuke dead, damnit! This old coot is insane and is gonna get Konoha DESTROYED!"

"Your delusional, brat."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I lunge at Danzo, both of us headed out the window.

"See? No self control!" Danzo sneers, jogging backwards along the roofs like a show off.

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

**_'Finish him off, Kitsune! Do it!'_**

"I'm working on it, ok!"

**_'And stop talking outloud!'_**

I slash at Danzo with my scythe of epicness, chasing him along roof tops, everyone staring and pointing.

"DIE!" I get a huge gash along his arm, practically cutting it off. "YOU SICK BASTARD!"

Danzo jumps down into the city streets, and if he thinks that'll stop me, he's a real idiot.

He runs through the crowd, me following close behind, everyone else ducking to avoid my large blade.

Many people screaming and yelling my name.

Did this guy really fear me? I hope he isn't serious since he dosen't have "feelings" as far as I know.

"HAHAAHA!" I laugh like a maniac. "PREPARE TO DIE, BIATCH!"

"Wait! Kitsune, no!" An all to familiar voice I hadn't heard in awhile yells. "Don't do it! Ignore the voice!"

How did she know about...

_**'Don't listen to them! They're just illusions!'**_

"YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" I hiss.

"Kitsune, un! Stop!"

I look back at the blonde hair, the icy blue eyes, the half-smile I've come to love.

"D-Deidara...!" I lower my weapon as the blonde jogs over.

"I see you've gotten yourself in a lot of trouble, un."

"He had it coming," I laugh softly. "Can we go home now?"

"Well..."

Next thing I know, Deidara got a kunai to my neck, using his free hand to keep my head still.

"Wh-What? Deidara!"

"Such a child." He sneers, there's a poof, and instead of Deidara, I see an ANBU.

_'...'_

_**'Trust no one, Kitsune. Think. Why would they be back already?'**_

_'I...I guess I just got my hopes up...'_

A large crowd had formed around us, another ANBU was trying to remove my vice-like grip on my scythe handle, while a diffrent one helped out Danzo. That bastard. He planned this.

I no longer try to stop the tears from falling. I'm NOT some cold-hearted Shinobi.

I'm a teenager girl with ninja skills. And I'm gonna use them. To rip. Danzo. Apart.

They handcuff my hands together with these chakra dampening cuffs, attach a chain, and lead me through the village.

I keep my head down, knowing I was getting those same shocked, appaled, disgusted, and disapointed faces I got when I first came to Konoha.

They take me to the center of town for everyone to see.

"As you all know, Kitsune Uzumaki was accepted into our village, even though she may be a former Akatsuki member." Danzo starts his speech.

"Ok, we get it old man." I sneer. "I've got a temper. And I'm proud of it. I tried to kill you for things you PLAN to do. I may be affiliated with the Akatsuki, but I am in no way cold nor heartless. I care for my family, both sides, and if your gonna punish me, go on and do it, as long as it's not sexual, and don't make some big deal out of it. When I hurt Tsunade, it was a true to heart accident, I was training, and seeing if I could tame Kyuubi, which I couldn't. But since all of you think I'm this horrible person, and no one wanted to help me, that's what happened. Your great Hokage got hurt and was replaced with THAT." I gesture to Danzo. "So maybe you guys should think about that. Whoes the real bad guy? Oh! And another thing! Who sets a mentally ill female off? Eh? And then uses the things she loves against her! That's a time bomb waiting to happen!"

Danzo and everyone else seemed stunned by what I said, and I didn't really care.

"Anyone who cares that's out there, make a note for me: sign up for some mental classes!"

I take a seat on the stage and wait for Danzo to start talking again.

"Why should we trust an Akatsuki member!" A voice yells out from the crowd, earning murmurs of agreement.

"I never said you had to trust me. Anyways, you guys are being sterotypical, the only thing I've done to you guys is attack your Hokage, and the first time was invouluntary!"

"If your done trying to talk your way out," Danzo clears his throat. "You'll be sentenced to home-lock down until further notice."

"Wow, you reaally don't care about your office, huh? If I can't go on missions, how am I spose to pay it off." I roll my eyes boredly.

Danzo twitches but ignores my comment, "No one is to bring her food, water, or anything. She will survive off the things ANBU bring her."

"That dosen't sound very fair." I cock my eye brow. "Do I get coffee?"

"No."

"See? This is why I stuck with the Akatsuki. There were no rules and if I did something bad I had a 10 minute time out." I groan as they take me to a secluded home. "Do I get visitors?"

"Anyone is free to visit you, though I couldn't imagine why,"

"Because I'm likable!" I escape the ANBU's grasp, kick Danzo in the balls, and run to my "assigned home".

* * *

><p>It's actually very boring here. I can't use chakra, I can't leave, no one comes to visit me, and the ANBU barely bring me any food or water.<p>

The best I can do is bounce a ball I had in my pocket... Which sucks hardcore.

_**'You should've killed them. Killed them all.'**_

"What would that solve?"

**_'Kitsune, everyone's trying to keep you back!'_**

"You think I don't know that?" I hiss, my voice getting slightly louder.

_**'You've gotta do som-'**_

"SHADDUP ALREADY!" I shreik.

Suddenly, two ANBU dash in, weapons ready.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" I roar. "I DON'T WANT YOU BREATHING MY AIR!"

"Calm down, Uzumaki Kitsune." The female instructs.

"I DON'T WANT TO!"

The world hates me.

* * *

><p><strong>Does anyone have a good idea for the summary? Also, REVIEW!<strong>


	52. IMPORTANT STUFF!

I NEED to get out of here. Danzo's gonna execute me... I knew he didn't like me... He's a butthole. I pace around, trying to think of a discreet way to get out for about 5 minutes. I give up and start trying to come up with a very obvious plan. That takes about 10 seconds.

I sigh and count to 3 in my head. I run like hell at the window... on the _second floor. _This is gonna be one hell of a fall. The window shatters the moment I hit it, then I'm falling through the air, rain surronding me.

It was oddly peaceful.

I hit the ground, and I think I blacked out for a few seconds. I sit up and find myself in a bush... stupid bush. I stand up and scope the area, seeing some ANBU and Danzo running towards me. I narrow my eyes at Danzo. He was using _my _scythe. _MY _baby.

"YOU!" I charge at him and wrestle him to the ground. I pry the scythe handle out his hands and start running.

I disapear into the forest, saying good bye to Konoha. Forever.

* * *

><p><em>Hungry, Tired, Sweaty, Lost. Hungry, tired, sweaty, lost. Hungry, tired, sweaty, lost.<em>

I know it didn't help to keep repeating those words in my head, but I needed somthing to take my mind off the current situation. And that sure wasn't working out.

I lean against a tree for a break, exaushted.

**_'Don't stop for too long, you might not get back up.'_**

"Oh great, your back. Don't lecture me."

_**'Fine fine, and what have I said about replying outloud?'**_

"Sorry."

I push off the tree and keep walking, when something catches my eye. A wanted poster. With me on it.

A low growl erupts from my throat, surprising even me. Everything in the area quiets.

"It's a bear!"

"Bears don't sound like that, baka."

"Then what was that!"

"Not a bear."

I stare at the two grown ups emerging from the forest in front of me. One was a blonde woman, the other was a brunette man.

"Oh! It's the bounty girl!" The woman cheers.

...

I jump over the heads and dash through the forest, putting as much chakra as I dared to my feet. Sadly, my chakra dosen't regenerate as fast as everyone elses, so I might be in trouble... Which is ironic.

The couple was chasing close behind, apparently they were ninja too.

"Go away!" I shout, tripping over my two feet. "AWAY!"

The stop and circle me.

Things go dark...

* * *

><p>I wake up covered in blood and in the middle of nowhere.<p>

It was raining...

I get onto my hands and knees, the rain making whatever dripped off my a pale red.

_'Voice-sensei... What happened?'_

**_'I helped you out, brat.'_**

_'What happened to those other people?'_

_**'You don't need to know.'**_

_'Well where am I?"_

_**'Look around dumbass.'**_

I shoot a mental glare his/its/her way and look around.

Big metal buildings, lots of pipe, tons of rain.

"Awesome! I'm in Ame!" I cheer, pumping my fist in the air. "Now I just got-"

"You there! State your business!" A Rain Shinobi twirls me around, keeping a firm grip on my shoulder.

I glance at the ground to see my scythe just a few feet away.

"Can you hear me? State your business!"

I stare blankly at the guy, "You don't gotta yell."

His face flushes, mostly with anger/annoyance, "What are you doing here?"

"Eh? Well, I'm looking for my friends." I explain. "One's got black, fluffy hair-actually, a lot of them have black, fluffy hair... Another's a blonde furball, and then there's a silver-haired Jashinist-"

"Enough ramblings!"

"But you asked me what I'm doing..."

"Just kill her already." A different Shinobi grunts.

"It's not nice to kill people." I stick my tounge out.

"Well we're not very nice people."

I take a deep breath and finally take in the full situation, at about the same time the mean-shinobi decieded to grab me.

"I'LL TELL YOUR GOD!" I shreik. "I know him personally! I'm here to see him! And! And! Your angel is my best friend! Lady Angel I mean!"

They stare at me unbelieving.

"Don't believe me? Go ahead! Take me to them right now!"

And they do exactly that.

"Wait wait." I collapse halfway up the stairs. "Oh man, there's to many stairs. Crap. I need... A break."

**Konan's P.O.V**

"I wonder what Kitsune's doing..." The love-sick blonde mutters to himself.

"Bitch is probably being stabbed to death." Hidan retorts, very uncaring of the blonde's feelings. "Din'tcha hear? Bitch tried to kill Danzo. Got in a lot of trouble."

"HIDAN! WHAT DON'T YOU GET BY DON'T TELL HIM!" Flavia shreiks from the living room.

"Sorry..."

I snicker, "Well well, someone's afraid of their girlfriend."

"I am NOT afraid of her." Hidan scowls.

"Whatever floats your boat."

"C'mon Konan, our shinobi caught us a spy... And they need us." Pein says, headed for the kitchen door.

"But it's raining!" I whine.

"Your starting to sound more like them everyday."

I stick my tounge out and throw my shoes at him, "Carry me!"

"No."

"Carry meeee!"

"No."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

"FINE!"

"Yipee!" I laugh, hopping onto his back.

We go outside and we're greeted with an odd sight.

Remmy(one of our best Shinobi) was getting his ass kicked by a little red head... Wait, a red head? Not many of those around here.

"Kitsune!" I call out. "Why are you beating up our shinobi?"

"BECAUSE THIS SICKO WAS FEELING ME UP!" Kitsune shreiks, takes one look at us, and tackles us to the ground. "PEIN! KONAN!"

Pein pushes her off and lets her cling to me while he acted all proffesional-like.

"Konankonankonankonan I missed you soooo muched Rape-chan!"

"Missed ya too, Yaoi-chan!"

"Remmy, other guy." He waves his hand. "Your dismissed."

"TOUCH ME AGAIN AND I'LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF!" Kitsune whirls around and bares her teeth at poor little Remmy.

Remmy is gone in 1.2 seconds.

"...You got scarier." Pein points out.

"It's actually a lot to explain." She groans. "But let's go! Can I please rejoin! Please? I've been training! Pleaaaassss-"

"Sure."

"That's not fair! I'm all wanted cause-wait. You said sure?"

"Sure, why not? We need more forces in war, and your really good at controlling those Shinobi, so why not?"

"THANK YOU PEIN-SAMA!" Kitsune latches on to the carrot-tops waist and he drags her inside.

"Madara. I. Said. No." Dinah glares daggers at the Uchiha.

"What'd he do now?" Kitsune smirks at her "brother".

Now that I think about it... Kitsune replaces people. She replaced Momo with Sasori, then Dinah. She replaced her pet mouse with Chibi. And now, she's replacing Garret with Madara... Odd girl.

I take a few steps back as Kitsune's smothered in hugs by Dinah, Deidara and Flavia.

"Ack! Can't breath!" Kitsune sticks her hand out the top of the pile in a dramatic motion. "Save meh Konan!"

"But you look like your having so much fun!" I tease.

"Kooonaaaan!"

"Ok ok," I grab her hand and pull her out the crowd.

Being her clumsy self, she trips and lands in a pile of garbage.

"Yuuuck!" She waves her hand rapidly, then swivels her head to Madara. "Huug!"

"No." He glares.

"Hug!" She stumbles to her feet, arms out-stretched, a goofy smile plastered to her face.

"No."

"Hug!"

"No."

"...Hug?"

"No."

"Meany." She pouts the turns to Dinah. "So what did he do?"

"He wants me to have sex with him." Dinah says simply put. "And he's starting to sound like you."

"Don't group me with that idiot!" The two of them yell. "I'm not an idiot, you are! Cut it out! Shut up!"

"I can solve this." Pein leaves the room. "Your both idiots."

"..."

Dinah was ecstatic on the inside that Madara would leave her alone for a few days now that Kitsune's back... Maybe.

"Dinaaaah!" Madara whines.

"Fuck you, I said no!"

Kitsune grabs some popcorns and watches them fight amusedly.

"Give me one good reason why!"

"You haven't taken me on a date, you just started paying attention to me, and DO NOT TOUCH ME!"

"I'm an S-ranked criminal, can't exactly take you to a nice dinner, you don't know how long I've payed attention to you, and why can't I touch you!" Madara counters.

I sit next to Kitsune and we share our popcorn.

"I don't like being touched!"

"You kinda have to be touched to have sex." Flavia sweatdrops.

"That's the problem!" Dinah pouts. "Just a warning guys, if you ever have kids, DO NOT touch them a whole bunch, or they'll turn out like me!"

"Touch-a-phobia!" Kisame chuckles.

"I said stop touching me!" Dinah scowls at Madara. "Touch me one more time, and I swear to god I'll cut your balls off!"

Madara takes the threat seriously, "I'll touch you all I like." But he dosen't dare touch her again.

"Female power, oh yeah!" Kitsune cheers.

"It's hard to believe that all we need is a frying pan and a knife to control most men." Flavia snickers.

"It's a blessing." I flick her forehead. "Don't question it."

"Dinah! Can I get a hug?" Kitsune spreads her arms, still covered in rain, mud, blood and garbage.

"Sure, why not?" Dinah shrugs. "Not like I can't take a shower after."

"Yay!" Kitsune hugs the older girl and sticks her tounge out at Madara. "Ha! I can touch her, you CAN'T!"

The Uchiha scowls and storms out the room.

"This is to entertaining." I smirk. "Are those the only reasons you deny him?"

"Nah, I just like teasing him." Dinah giggles.

"WE SHOULD ALL GO ON A DATE!" Flavia announces.

"We?" Itachi cocks his eye brow.

"Yeah... Ooh! I finally get to announce the pairing names!" Flavia lists off on her fingers. "DeiKit!"

"Oh wow, that sounds like a dye kit." Dinah scoffs.

"PeiKon!"

"Isn't Kon that dude from Bleach?" Kitsune teases. "Guess I gotta pay him."

"MadaDin."

"No comment." I laugh.

"And of course, HidaFlav!"

"Ahh! I can't make fun of your name!" Kitsune whines.

"So, where're we going to dinner and when!" I cheer.

"Today! At that new seafood place!" Flavia ignores Kitsune

"Go take a shower." Sasori smirks.

"Don't say it that way!" Kitsune stomps off.

"Kitsune! No way your going first!" Dinah chases after her. "You always steal all the hot water!"

...

"So, is this some Fem-Cupid work?" Itachi asks.

"Why yes, my weasel friend, it is." Flavia smirks. "Madara and Dinah seem to have issues, and it's mine and Kitsune's job to fix it!"

"Now that I think about it," Zetsu taps his chin. "Kitsune pushes them together, Flavia shoves the arrows in their butts."*

"Haha, that's my job!" Flavia cheers.

"You guys are insane." I sigh.

"I am so sorry Flavia!" Kitsune emerges from the hallway. "I temporarily replaced you with Ino!"

"WHAAAT!"

"But! We got Neji and Tenten together! And Shikamaru and Ino! AND NARUHINA!"

"You did so much without me..." Anime-tears stream down Flavia's face.

"I'M SORRY!"

"Sometimes, I miss the Tobi facade." Pein groans. "It kept everyone busy, and I didn't have a buncha teenage girls and boys shrieking around about sex."

"You know you love it, Pein! Join the bunnies!" Kitsune hops up and down.

Why bunnies you may ask? Because of the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP sounds that are made during you-know-what.

"I'd rather not."

"Whhhyyy?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Your next, Pein."

"Ok, Kitsune! You can have the shower!" A now clean Dinah laughs.

"Finally!" Kitsune dashes away.

"Pshyco, un..." Deidara mutters.

"Hey, hey! That's YOUR girlfriend." I remind him.

"I never said I didn't like it, un."

"Oh... Wow Blondie-or should I say, Furball?"

"Shut up, un!" Deidara blushes and storms off.

"People sure are moody nowadays." Flavia points out. "Must be stressed."

She gets a lot of no-shit looks.

"We're on the brink of war, remember?" Pein rolls his eyes.

"Don't tell me you forgot," I laugh. "And all those times you spent complaining about the training."

"Psh! Well! Well!" Flavia flops down onto the couch. "Don't correct me."

"Someone get Kitsune out the shower," Kisame grunts. "Her 5 minutes is up."

"Got it, un." Deidara messes around with the water heater.

"DEIDARAAAA!"

"Works everytime, un."

Kitsune comes out, wrapped in a towel, soaking wet and shivering, "That is uncalled for! Do you know how COLD that was?"

"Yes, un, I do actually."

"Still! I wasn't done!"

"Just get dressed." Pein facepalms.

"What if I don't wanna get dressed!"

"Then you don't go to dinner."

"Getting dressed!" Kitsune dashes out the room.

"Pein, how would I look with long hair like Kitsune's?" I ask.

"Don't even try." Pein sighs.

"That's a no then?"

"Yes, it is."

"Ok,"

"Join the bunnies! Join the bunnies!" Flavia chants. "C'mon, I have money on you guys! Join the bunnies!"

"Whoes against us?" I cock my head to the side.

"Madara and Dinah."

"Psh, we are so winning that."

"Deidara go get Kitsune," Kakuzu instructs. "We're sick of you lovebirds."

"Ok, un!" Deidara gets a perverted look.

"And don't get side tracked!"

"Damn!"

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, this was an extremely long chapter with a decent sized authors note. I have a couple things too say. THIS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT! DO NOT SKIP OVER IT!<strong>

**1.) That little * up where Zetsu explains Flavia's and Kitsune's jobs as matchmakers? Did you get it? You got it, right?**

**2.) Don't forget to review!**

**3.) I wanna write a spin-off for this story, but... I wanna only choose one. I'll put a poll up on my profile, or you can tell me here, but here are my ideas:**

**_A.) Miracle Worker-Kitsune, the daughter of Minato and Kushina. Her brothers Naruto and Garret. When she's finally allowed to join the world,  
><em>****_interact with others, will it backfire horribly? Or will she unwittingly better everyones life? Who knows, maybe this little freak can heal those around her without even trying...(Most main characters are 4-8)_**

**_B.) Teenage Dreams-Kitsune, Flavia and Momo, besy friends forever, are going to highschool. A tease, a naive child and an antisocial join together to have their dreams come true. But with the new gang in town... Will their dreams crash and burn?_**

**_C.) Insanity- Kitsune Uzumaki had a decent life, her friends and family loved her. One day, she travels too far from home.  
>And she joins the Insanity. Can a cute blonde save her from herself?(Most characters in early teens)<em>**

**__4.) Give some love to my puppy story, Freaks Stick Together!**

**5.) Have a good day XD But lastly, should I make a sequal?**


	53. A pervy date

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

We sit together around one big, circle table.

"So, did anything GOOD happen while you were in Konoha?" Flavia cocks her head, then narrows her eyes. "Other than replacing me and accomplishing a bunch with that pig."

"Uhhh... I got a coffee machine... Um... Made some friends that I may or may not lost... Er... I think that's it," I stick my tounge out in thought. "Argh! Why can't I remember any-OH YEAH!"

Pein shushes me.

"I learned a new jutsu."

"Wow. Kitsune actually learned something!" Madara teases.

"I learn new things everyday!"

"Name one!"

"That Pein likes grape jelly!"

Awkward silence.

"Name another." He grumbles.

"I know where your tickle spot is." I stick my tounge out.

"Shut up, Kitsune!"

I get whapped upside the head with the specials menu.

"Ouch." I rub my head.

"What the hell, un? Who says ouch? It's ow." Deidara raises his eye brow.

"I can say ouch,"

"Say ow."

"Ouch."

"Ow."

"Ouch."

"You guys are fucking made for each other." Hidan facepalms.

"You know what I question?" I quickly change the subject.

"Don't change the subject!" Flavia wags her knife at me.

"I change the subject all I like!"

"I shank you."

"I shank you back."

We both smirk at each other, "I loooove you."

"Hey!" Both our male dates huff.

"So Kitsune, what were you asking?" Konan laughs.

"How Madara and Dinah ended up together. Fate and Destiny must have some fucked up minds." I smirk.

"Hey!" Dinah whines. "We're a perfect couple!"

"Not really..."

"Eh!"

"If your coupled with an Akatsuki member, it's not a perfect couple."

"Oh..."

"And the fact that all you do is argue about whether or not to have sex or not," Flavia smirks. "I mean, what's the problem? The position? The time? What!"

I bust out laughing, getting glares from the couple we're talking about.

"Just cause we didn't join your bunny group, dosen't mean we're having issues," Madara retorts.

"So your saying you HAVE done it?" Flavia asks, with a poker face.

"..."

"HAH!"

"Pleeaaase Dinah? I'll give you half my winnings!" I whine.

"EH! WINNINGS!" Dinah's jaw drops.

"That's interference, Kitsune!" Flavia snaps.

"Sowwy!" I duck my head.

"This is the weirdest date I've ever been on, un." Deidara announces.

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress eyes us warily.

We all start shouting orders, the waitress writing it down in a hurry.

Then we all go quiet.

The waitress rushes off, sweating heavily.

"Sooo, Pein, Konan." Flavia cocks her head to the side. "Have YOU done IT yet?"

"Why're we talking about this?" Pein turns a light shade of pink.

"Cause we're curious of why our leaders haven't been laid." I provide an answer for Flavia.

"What she said!" Flavia laughs.

"Shut up!" Our two leaders snap.

* * *

><p>Me and Flavia had started chanting, not only to win our sides of the bet, but to annoy our leaders and female friends.<p>

"Lay him! Lay him! Lay him! Lay him! Lay him!" We bang on the table, getting stared at. "Lay him! Lay him! Lay him! Lay him! Lay him! Lay him!"

"Could you guys be any louder?" Dinah glowers.

"LAY HIM! LAY HIM! LAAY HIIM! LAAY HIIM! LAY HIM! LAY HIM!"

"Apparently."

"This is so stupid." Madara facepalms.

We turn to Pein and Konan, "LAY HER! LAY HER! LAY HER! LAY HER! LAY HER! LAY HE-"

"Foods here!" Pein announces.

"LAY HER!"

"How bout I lay you, un?" Deidara whispers in my ear.

"I would love that furball,"

I'm sure Hidan and Flavia were having the same conversation.

Deidara grimaces, "Why do you keep calling me that, un?"

"Cause your blonde, your har is soft, and you remind of these things called Puffles on this game I used to play."

"And because I remind you of things called Puffles, un, you call me Furball?"

"Exactly!"

"That makes no sense, un."

"Dosen't have to, Furball-kun!"

Our food is set down, the waitress quickly brings our drinks, and scurries off, probably not to eager to serve us.

"Hey, catch." Hidan smirks.

Flavia opens her mouth wide and Hidan throws 2 grapes into her mouth.

"I gots skillz." Flavia smirks.

"My skillz are better than yours." I retort.

"Can you catch two grapes in your mouth?"

"No, but I still have better skillz."

"Back on the subject of our leaders," Flavia changes the subject. "What's your favorite position?"

Dinah's eye twitches, "I think I liked it better when they were chanting."

"You should really listen to their chanting." Madara smirks.

"I don't get how you guys get in all those weird positions." Konan huffs, shaking your head.

"It takes practice, rape-chan! I should show you some," I tease. "Are you flexible?"

The bluette nods.

"Good! Then this should work out fine! Hey Pein, any preferences?"

The orangette turns more shades of pink.

Dinah goes into thoughts she probably wants locked away, and turns tomato-red.

"..." I cross my arms and pout. "Everyone's taller than me."

"Your made to be fucking short, get over it." Hidan retorts.

"You only say that cause your tall!"

"Maybe."

"Your just jealous!"

"Of?"

"Cause I'm bigger than you!"

"Lies!"

"Kitsune, we're all pretty sure your not a shemale." Flavia pipes in.

"Pretty sure!" I gasp, slightly offended. "Whaddya mean,_ pretty sure._"

Flavia snickers, obviously not planning to answer anytime soon.

"I am not a shemale!"

"Sure your not."

"I'm not!"

"Uh-huh."

"Shut up!"

"This is so amusing, un." Deidara idly pets my head.

"Stop petting me." I mutter.

"You call me Furball, un, I can pet you all I like."

"Damn."

I push my bangs out my face and let him continue with petting me.

"Diiinaaaaaaaaahhh," Madara had gone back to whining to his girl.

"Stop whining Nii-san," I stick my tounge out.

"I'm not whining."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No. I'm not."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yesss."

"No."

"LAY HIM DAMNIT!"

Both Madara and Dinah seemed caught off gaurd by my out burst.

"No, I'd basically be doing it for money." Dinah replies calmly.

"...Dinah, there's a lot of things I could say to counter what you just said." I let my eyes droop so I could give her a bored expression.

"Sh-Shut up!"

"Psh, and you guys call me immature."

"Koonnaaan, tell Kitsune to stoooop." Dinah groans.

"I will not stop!" I hiss. "I'll keep going for as long as I want!"

"No!"

"...Touch."

"What exactly did that prove?"

"That your a possible lesbian."

"WHAT!" Dinah starts giving off a deathly aura.

"I mean, you let everyone EXCEPT guys touch you! And you act like a freaking virgin! Your 20!"

"You better run, Kitsune."

...

"Save me!" I squeak, to no one in particular.

"Kitsune didn't mean it, Dinah." Flavia sighs. "She just wants her money."

"Excuse me for one moment." Dinah storms off to release some pent up agression.

"It's a wonder how all you bitches are friends." Hidan comments.

"All I'm saying is that she did it with another girl, or it was all oral..." I grumble. "Let's leave, I saw the bill. Kakuzu'd kill us all."

"I'm immortal, remember."

"Then Imma come back as a ghost and mind rape you."

"..."

"Did you even hear what you just said." Pein cocks his eye brow.

"Nope, I don't hear a lot of things I say."

"That explains. So much."

"Why won't you lay her!" Flavia whines.

"I think you both need to get laid and leave us alone." Dinah scowls, coming back in. "You guys and your damn gambling."

"..." I hide behind my blonde furball. "Dinah's scaring me..."

"EVERY female scares you, Kitsune, un." Deidara teases, leading the way out the restraunt that was probably happy to be rid of us.

"We don't buy no drinks at the bar!" I sing.

"We pop champange cause we got that dough!" Flavia joins in.

"Lemme here you say ah ah ah ah!"

"Go ah ah ah ah ah ah!"

"I make you go ah, just like I'm your doctor!"

"Sex-heads." Pein mutters.

"We're not sex heads!" I protest in fear of going to another class. "It's just fun to talk about it and watch people either join or turn pink."

"..."

"REVERSE BULLDOG!"

Konan and Dinah turn really pink.

"Really?" Madara raises his eye brow. "That was necesarry?"

I nod eagerly, "Hey, you still haven't given me a hug!"

"You don't get a hug."

"Hey! That's not right! You didn't miss me?"

"Naaah."

"Your a meany!"

"I'm kidding."

I run up and hug the Uchiha anyways, who refuses to hug me back.

"Ahh! Your so meaaannnn!" I whine, releasing him.

"I'm mean to you,"

"Touche."

* * *

><p><strong>Yet another chapter! The wait wasn't too long, was it? :D And I guess there'll be a sequal since so many people want it. :3 I've already started to write it. Your gonna love it, I just know it! *puts on armor* just in case... It hurts to have things thrown at you T.T well, review!<strong>


	54. May the war begin

The war is starting...

I pull my hair into a high ponytail and pull on my Akatsuki cloak.

We're gonna take over a few smaller villages, train our forces, then attack the two larger villages: Suna and Konoha. Psh, and Madara says I'm not smart.

We gather around the meeting room as positions are planned.

"Hmm, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Flavia, Kisame and Konan, you stay here and greet and train any new recruits we send." Madara instructs. "Itachi, Hidan, Deidara and Sasori, you'll be the first group to attack, take the rookies with you."

"And meee? What'll I dooo?" I cock my head to the side as I get my new fingerless gloves on.

"Your coming with Pein and me."

"Pein and I!"

"Don't correct me."

I shrug it off and grab my scythe, which I've become scarily attached too.

"Let's go, Sama's!" I strike pose, that didn't look like it belonged in this, but more like something from Sailor moon.

They give me a weird look, dismiss everyone else, and THEN they lead the way.

"So, where're we headed first?" I ask excitedly. "Is it somewhere sunny? I hope so! I love the sun!"

"Uhh..." Is all Madara says.

* * *

><p>"SNOW! YOU BROUGHT ME TO THE SNOW!" I shreik. "YOU LIED TO ME! IT'S FREEZING THE FUCK COLD!"<p>

"Shhhh!" Madara claps his hand over my mouth and drags me into the back alley, Pein following begrudgingly. "Just calm down."

"I'm cold..." I whine. "Could've at least warned me."

"And you would've complained the whole way here."

"True."

"Can we just finish this village and get going?" Pein cuts in.

"How're we doing this, then?" I cock my head to the side.

"..."

* * *

><p>"Why couldn't I help?" I glower at the carrot top.<p>

"Because your not very nice to strangers, let alone royalty." Pein glares back. "Nor very peaceful."

"But still, you made me sit outside and everything!"

"And your a good girl." He pats my head. "Good Kitsune."

"Let's... Let's just go." I glare at a bunch of little kids who were staring at me in either fear, awe, or amusement.

They scurry off with the group of moms/kids.

"What're the moms for again?" I ask.

"To keep humanity alive after the war." Madara answers this time.

"Eh? It's that big of war?"

"Maybe it will, maybe it won't." He narrows his eyes. "Don't go near Momo till the END of the war is near."

"Okay..."

We leave the almost empty snow village and move on to this unnamed village.

"Kitsune, do yo-What the hell!" Madara's eye twitches, and so does mine.

I was being swarmed by little kids.

"AHH! GET IT OFF ME!" I shreik as they start climbing on me. "HEEELLLP! THE LITTLE GREMLINS ARE GONNA EAT ME!"

"Calm down!" Pein smacks me upside the head. "Fuck, they're just children!"

"OW! OOWWW! IT BIT ME! IT BIT ME! IT FUCKING BIT ME!"

"THEY'RE JUST KIDS!" Madara roars, throwing off the kids. "YOU'VE GOT A FUCKING SCYTHE FOR GODS SAKE, USE IT!"

I stick my tounge out at the Uchiha, then notice something.

"Dude, what village is this?" I question.

"I dunno, Child's Village or something."

"More like Zombie Village." Pein points at the transforming children, that were limping back towards us.

"They're wild boys-and-girls!" I clap eagerly. "Someone get a cage!"

"You are such a-"

"Shut up."

**Flavia's P.O.V**

O.o Konoha just blew up our kitchen. Just walked in and blew it up. Don't know what they were trying to accomplish though.

Our 2 leaders plus Kitsune work fast. The base is getting rather full now and they STOLE MY ROOM. I gotta share it with, like, 15 other people!

I go into my room and take in the disturbing scene. The kids and teenage boys were playing in my under clothes. ...

"IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE!" I shreik. "GET THE FUCK OUT MY ROOM, YOUR SLEEPING OUTSIDE!"

The scurry like little mice as I scream out profanities and swing my dagger. At that point Zetsu came running in, staring at me in a bizzare way.

"What's going on?" He questions.

"These people aren't allowed in my room anymore, look at the mess they made!"

"..."

"Hmph."

Zetsu leaves and I get started on cleaning up, relaxing my mind a bit. Kakuzu walks in.

"Chyea, Kakuzu?" I tilt my head.

"Make sure your stuff is ready, the rate our leaders are going we'll be leaving soon." He explains patiently.

"Huh... Well, Kitsune seems to be taking this quite well, going against her family and all."

"What about you?"

"I have yet to meet my family." I shrug. "So, I don't have much to be guilty about."

"Hm..."

"And plus: I get to rule the world!"

"You and your friends are crazy." He turns on his heel and begins to leave. "At least Garret has some sense in him."

I sigh and sit on my bed, having no one to talk to about the Naruto characters with. Has anyone ever noticed they yell out the name's of there jutsu's? It's kinda stupid and a waste of time.

I go downstairs to go help Konan and Kisame with the noobs being sent as the third wave of attacks. They were all pretty damn fidgety.

"Hey! Listen up you little fidgets!" I stand up on a few boxes and raise my voice. "Your about to go into the fight of your life! So get over yourselves, focus, and get your butts out there!"

They look up at me surprised.

"What? You think I'm kidding?" I grab a long sword off the wall. "Get out there or I'll shove this up you-"

I don't even get to finish and they're gone. I give Kisame and Konan a grin and a wave before disapearing to bring in more troopers.

These one's were a mix of kids and half-lizard people. Wow. Maybe they can go to Suna. I bring them in, give them some food and send them on down to the training area like I always do. A kid walks up to me and gives me a note which I gladly accept.

_'Headed down the mountains and around the bend, be home soon! ^_^_  
><em>-Kitsune'<em>

I smile and discard the note, getting a popsicle out the freezer for a snack. This is gonna be a good day... Well... As good a day during the war could get.

**Momo's P.O.V**

They've gotta be kidding me. Trying to take over again? They're just gonna lose again. It's 13 against the world.

I was sent to station in Konoha, so here I am. And I'm surprised at the damage already done. I walk slowly and carefully through the village, wary of any attackers. I pull up my hood and keep my head down.

I go up into the Hokage's office and see her fretting with birds, Shinobi from varying lands and paper work.

"HEY! BACK UP OFF THE HOKAGE, SHE'S TRYING TO WORK!" I snap.

They snap there heads around to stare at me and back up some. Tsunade sighs in relief.

"It seems the Akatsuki actually had a plan this time..." Tsunade mutters. "They're allying themselves with other smaller villages."

"This is definantly not a Madara or Pein plan." I shake my head with slight disapointment. "This is the same tactic Kitsune used when we played things that involved war or battles."

"So your saying _KITSUNE'S_ in charge of this mess?"

"Not in charge, per say, but it's her idea." I then remember something. "Congradulations on your recovery."

"Thanks," Tsunade sighs. "I knew I shouldn't have put Danzo in charge."

"I resent that." Said old fag enters the room.

"Well, you did give the Akatsuki back 2 times there power since you drove Kitsune away." I point out. "All this stuff that's happening? Kitsune's plans."

Danzo rolls his eyes, "Hush child."

"See? That's why she tried to kill you Mr. Old-Egomaniac."

Tsunade shoots me a look to shut up. I sigh and grugdingly follow it.

_**'I'm back.'**_

_'Course you are, you always come back.'_

_**'Hn.'**_

_'Where do you go anyways?'_

_**'Focus on the war plans.'**_

_'Make me!'_

_**'So arguementive.'**_

_'Damn right!'_

"Momo, what do you know of the Akatsuki?" Tsunade asks.

"They work in pairs," I recall whatever information I still remembered. "There's 10 of them not including Kitsune and Flavia."

"What about Garret?"

"He's not a fighter. He's probably hiding out somewhere to wait out the war." I shrug. "But he wasn't all to strong, if anything, Flavia and Kitsune are who you need to look out for."

"It's been a week since their last attack." Sakura adds.

"Tsunade, you have children making war plans." Danzo scoffs. "This is pityful."

Everyone just ignores him this time, since it seemed he was a child-racist.

Hinata comes forward a bit from Naruto's side. Naruto... He and the Hyuga's were devestated to what had happened to their younger siblings. They went to the "dark side" and now we're in a war against them.

"I say we go to the frontlines and attack." Kiba crosses his arms.

Neji rolls his eyes, "It-"

A large explosion erupts from outside, villagers screaming and 3 maybe 4 insane laughs. I force the window open and gape at the village of Konoha. Deidara was standing triumphantly on a roof, Kitsune by his side jumping up and down excitedly. If you looked to the South you could see Danzo's house and ANBU corps blown to bits. It's just a game to them.

"Tsunade, we need to get the villagers out!" One of the elders shout.

"I know, I know!" Tsunade grumbles.

I check out the window to see Kitsune inches away from me. She smiles deviously and launches herself into the building.

She waves at everyone, "Heyo! Miss me?" She jumps out the way as one of the few ANBU in here try to grab her. "Missed me! Haha!" She ducks a few kunai. "I feel like you guys don't want me here." She pouts.

The window explodes, a humongus hole now in the side of Tsunade's office. We start clearing out the room, leaving Kitsune to whatever goes on in her world. I think I heard her scream something about winning.

May the war begin.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I grab onto the tail of Deidara's bird as he zooms by the window, letting myself get jerked out and just hang there until I find something to land on. I summon my gun and jump down into the main battle field. I fire off the first bullet, the gun jumps a bit due to under use and I miss my target.

"Show off, how come you get a gun." Flavia grumbles, jogging up beside me.

I smirk and poof up another one, "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you, Kitsune!" Flavia cheers, taking the pistol. "Can't wait for the actual party."

We stand back to back, shooting anyone who dared to come near us. We tried our best to not shoot the villagers(we're not heartless) but sometimes we just couldn't tell the difference. One grabs Flavia by the hair and jerks her backwards. I shoot the person in the head, blood splattering everywhere.

"Thanks," Flavia smiles.

"Welcome." I do a 360 turn to check out the area. "Run in an arc around the center of town. Watch out for bombs. Meet ya on the other side."

"Ay-aye captain!" She salutes and takes off.

I put the gun in it's harness and pull out my frying pan with a grin. I recently got it re-enforced so it wouldn't dent as easily. I love my pan.

I let out a woot and dash through the village, earning a few weird looks from my side. I stop and do a quick turn, surprised I didn't just trip and fall flat on my face. I dive in the way of Madara's knife and scoop up the two kids.

**Sakura's P.O.V**

At the time, I was hiding out in a building, healing anyone I could find. Right now, I was watching the two major idiots argue again, but this arguement proves Kitsune isn't heartless.

"They're little kids, you can't just kill them!" She scolds.

"They shouldn't have come out on the battle field."

"They're home is a battlefield, idiot."

"Shut up and keep fighting."

"Don't kill the ki-"

The older brother of the two kids drop a large water balloon on Kitsune's head. She bristle's and whips around, pulling her scythe off her back.

"I thought we couldn't kill the kids," Madara scoffs.

"That's not a kid." Kitsune glares. "That's a Shinobi, he's got a headband."

"Loopholes? I thought you were above that." Madara chuckles. "I'll take care of them, you keep bashing people's heads in, kay?"

And that she does, with her 'trusty frying pan'. Odd girl.

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><p><strong>Review, you guys! Did I do good?<strong>


	55. Izuna

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

We did it! We took over Konoha! They ended up retreating into Suna, but that's fine. I get my own house, I'm in charge of the prisoners and everythings going great!

I walk through the turn up streets and smile when I hear that slight echo of Voice-sensei clearing his throat.

"Is it time now, Voice-sensei?" I grin toothily.

**_'Yes Kitsune, you remember that necklace?'_**

"Chyea?"

**_'Click the button and it turns into a sword.'_**

"A'ight. Thanks, where's Momo?"

**_'Suna, taking care of hospital patients.'_**

"Kitsune. There's something wrong with you and I know it, your talking to yourself and who the HELL is voice sensei?" Flavia growls, gripping my shoulders tightly. "And where do you think your going?"

"I'm FINE, Flavia." I growl back, narrowing my eyes. "Let. Me. Go."

"Who is voice sensei."

**_'See what happens when you talk outloud?'_**

"None of your business." I clench my fists.

"Tell me! What's going on in your mind!" Flavia screams.

**_'Your an idiot, you know that? You'll never beat Momo at this rate.'_**

"Both of you SHUT UP!" I scream, everything going red.

...

...

...

...

I tromp out the village gates, blood dripping from my hands and hair. I drop the frying pan and glare out at the sky. I grip the handle of my scythe, the blade glowing in the moon light.

"I'm coming for you next." I mutter, Voice-sensei chuckling darkly in my head. I don't care anymore though. He's gonna help me kill Momo.

**Momo's P.O.V**

I wake up bright and early and leave my temporary house to get back to helping at the hospital. I walk up a few flights of steps and enter the room full of the smell of rotting meat. Which there was. Lot's of blood was still everywhere, nurses frantically trying to patch up the "bad survivors".

I take my last breath of fresh air and set to work on a 9 year old girl with a cut going down the middle of her face and a knife lodged halfway in her back. It's lucky that knife didn't hit anywhere fatal.

I talk softly to her, keeping her distracted as I work the knife out.

"It stinks in here..." The girl mumbles. "There's blood everywhere. I wanna go home."

"Okay hun, once we get you all fixed up, you can go home, okay?"

Once the knife was fully out, I put a bandage on her face and back, and send her up to the healing room full of medical ninja. Lucky them it smelled great up there.

I take a quick glance at the window and due a double take. I could've sworn I saw Kitsune. Maybe the bloods get-

**_'Kitsune's here. Be prepared.'_**

_'How do you know?'_

The window crashes in and Kitsune nimbly steps in. Her hands were already covered in dried blood, who's, I don't know. She grins at me, but not a normal grin. Something's wrong with Kitsune.

"Hello~!" She pulls her scythe off her back and raises it above her head and glares. "Goodbye."

I dive out the way just as she brings the scythe down. I jump high as she swings again with insane speed and strength. I lead her out the hospital into the desert and even farther.

"GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!" She cackles. "YOUR TIME HAS COME!"

"That's where your wrong, Kit-chan." I whirl around, bringing out my big ass sword. She looked surprised.

We fight. Hard. We stain the sand in blood, a few Shinobi must've followed after us. A dark aura was surronding Kitsune.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I groan, an intense pain surronding me. All I could remember was Kitsune's "new" eye turning red and suddenly, darkness. My head hurt, like a huge hangover times 10.

"Flavia, why're you on the ground," Sasori kneels down next to me.

"I...I think Kitsune attacked me." I sit up slowly and rub my eyes. "...Take me to Madara."

"Sure, but why did she attack you?" He helps me to my feet and leads me to the Hokage's office.

"There's something wrong with her... And I need to find out what before it's too late."

I barge into the office, stumbling over my feet but don't fall, and lean on Madara's desk.

"What?" He raises his eye brow.

"That eye you gave Kitsune... Who was the original owner?"

"Why?"

"Because she's going insane and talking to a voice inside her fucking head, and I wanna know one thing: Why did it turn red when she got mad?"

"...Oh shit."

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

Kick. Duck. Slice. Slash. Punch. Duck. Swing. Slice. Spin. Stab.

Momo grits her teeth and swings wildly at me, trying to get a good hit. She shreiks suddenly, "YOU AREN'T HELPING!"

"...eh?" I stare in pure confusion. "Who isn't helping?"

"Shut up, Kitsune!"

"Rude..."

**_'Finish her! While she's distracted!'_**

I raise my scythe as Momo seems to start arguing with herself. I strike her down, blood splashing everywhere. I erupt in laughter, "I win! I! WIN! HELLZ YEAH! I WIN! I FINALLY BEAT YOU AT SOMETHING!"

I start to walk away, but a bad feeling starts to form in the pit of my stomach. I push it away and just enjoy my victory.

_**'Never turn your back on an opponent.'**_

I hiss in pain as a sword pierces just above my thigh and comes out at my stomach. I turn back to see Momo with a weak smile on her face.

"I win again, Kitsune."

"NO!" I roar, try to take a step but fall to the ground. I hiss again, that stupid sword screwing my movement up. "No! I was gonna win this time! What the hell is this! No! No! NO!"

A mad man's laugh erupts as smoke fills the area. A tall man with blood-red eyes and a smirk on his face. He shakes his head slowly, "Silly children. Don't belong in this Shinobi world. I've planned this from the very beginning. To jump in right before you both died."

"Th-That dosen't make..." Momo collapses onto her knees.

"There's no way..." I glare at the man.

"And your both gonna help me kill my brother. You have no choice." The man chuckles.

"Brother?"

"Madara Uchiha. Your Nii-san."

I stick my tounge out and blow a rasberry, "Jealous?"

"What would he be jealous of?" Momo gets her breath back.

"I'm sexier, Madara treated me better and didn't steal my eyes, actually, he GAVE me an eye. Hmm, he treated me better than he would treat... Namenamename... Izuna."

"Oh yeah."

"I just realized something." I change my position on the ground. "He did pit us against each other. Stupid mind control."

"Damn... Grrr, I was gonna beat mind control."

"Oh yes, we caught up!" Flavia cheers, dropping down from one of three birds in the sky. "...Who's the old guy?"

Izuna scowls in her direction, "I'm Izuna and I'm not old. I'm younger than Madara."

"But Madara has a six pack." Dinah points out. "From here, you look skinnier than... A stick."

I start laughing, but suck in a hiss of breath at the sharp pain in my stomach. Madara, Deidara and Itachi jump down from their birds.

"Guys! Tch!" Momo grips her chest. "He's got us under mind contro-"

**Flavia's P.O.V**

Momo and Kitsune slump over, then shoot to there feet, dispite the various weapons in their bodies. They look around, one of Kitsune's eyes was actually Sharingan. They begin pulling the weapons out their bodies one by one until they were just heavily bleeding all over the place.

"My idiot minions." Izuna chuckles, earning a glzed over glare from the two. "Now's not the time for a fight..."

With another poof all three of them are gone. I gape wide-eyed at the spot my two friends were just standing.

"I can't believe it." I mumble.

"Dinah, start me a check list." Madara mumbles. "Fight Izuna, rescue the girls, get Kitsune a NORMAL eye, kill Izuna and sign all three of the girls up for classes."

"Long list you got there." Dinah rolls her eyes. "Classes?"

"They're brains got tampered with, I'm getting them classes."

"And Flavia?"

"She's having a mental breakdown right now."

"Eh!"

Which I was. I mean, it's a rather traumatizing day to get knocked out by one of your best friends AND have them under mind control, bloody and disapear with a pshyco who's even more pshyco than his brother.

**Momo's P.O.V**

I hear a groan from across from me, everything that just happened flooding back to me. I can't believe I let my mind get tampered with my Madara's PSHYCO brother! I was always wondering WHY I wanted to kill Kitsune. I was just mad at her.

"Momo, are we... Friends again?" Kitsune asks, checking out the stitches on her stomach and above her thigh. "Damn that is one sharp sword."

"Yes we are, and your scythe is pretty cool too." I comb my fingers through my hair. "You gotta plan, Kitsune?"

"Don't I always?" Kitsune starts playing with the wiggly bars on the door. "Hey! Izuna! Can we get some food in this mother!"

"Already up and running?" Izuna rolls his eyes.

"No, my leg hurts like a beast."

"Sorry," I smile sheepishly.

"S'okay."

"Well eat up." Izuna puts huge bowls of ramen in the room with us. "We've got a big fight on our hands."

"You've got a fight on your hands," I correct as he walks away.

"Fight, fight fight." Kitsune grumbles. "That's all that ever happens in this world, it's quite annoying."

"I wonder how the other world is fairing without us?"

A large, blue orb shines to life... On a funeral.

_'One year ago, 4 teenagers and a baby disapeared from existence.' The guy on the orb says. 'Later on that same night was a robbery. Their parents mourn their loss.'_

"Huh..." Kitsune watches the funeral go on. "To think that they think we're dead."

"We sure have come close to it." I point out.

"I thought your brain was to smart for this!" She teases. "I do wonder when he originally started though..."

We fade into silence as the ramen bowls empty, I focus on the door way. Maybe I can move it with my mind...

"Okay, here's my plan," Kitsune whispers in my ear. "When-"

"What's that your whispering about, hon?" Izuna hangs upside down beside them.

"...How do you do that?" Kitsune stares, trying to copy his actions.

I sigh, "Kitsune, I don't think-"

"OW, GOD DAMNIT!" She faceplants right on the floor.

Izuna chuckles and flips onto his feet, pulling Kitsune to her feet. He frowns, pinching my red-headed friends' nose shut to stop the steady flow of blood.

"..." Kitsune blinks surprised. "Thanks."

"Haha, squeaky voice." I tease.

"Fuck, your like a geyser," Izuna grumbles.

"I fell face-first on the ground!" Kitsune whines.

"No one's nose bleeds that long,"

"That is true, Kitsune." I point out. " I think you've got some kinda defect that makes you easy to hurt."

"But seriously, what were you guys whispering about?"

"You ARE Madara's brother." Kitsune shakes her head. "And we were talking about condoms."

"!"

"I like grape flavored ones!"

I deciede to play along this time, "Psh, chocolate flavor is better."

"But if it tastes like chocolate, I might bite."

"That's your problem,"

"Izuna! I need you to go to the nearest store and buy a wide variety of condoms!" Kitsune claps excitedly. "And can you poof us up a sink of some kind?"

"..." Izuna walks to the entry way. "You guys are weird."

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><p><strong>Now Izuna must deal with the crack Kitsune causes XD I hate being serious, so this is what I came up with. Always end on a happy note... REVIEW! Or I'll go all Pinkie Pie on your ass! (High five to those who get the reference).<strong>


	56. A living hell

**Oh CRAP! I haven't updated in forever! Ihope you guys are still reading, I'm so sorry! **

* * *

><p><strong>Flavia's P.O.V<strong>

I'd gained my common sense back, and I was now laughing about the whole situation. Madara was staring at me, since Dinah fell asleep while we took a "short" break and he had no one to talk too.

"What... Are you laughing about?" He questions.

"Your brother," I break off in a fit of laughter. "Wh-Why would he _***haha**_* take Momo and Kitsune? Man, I wish I could see what's going on there!"

Madara snickers, "Your right."

"C'mon, your pretty powerful, don't you have some kinda magical globe that'll show us what's going on."

"I don't have that but..."

I pass out for a few seconds and wake up in a new world. There were boxes EVERYWHERE!

"How dare you use Sharingan on me!" I shout as I find Madara.

"Just shut up and come on." The eldest Uchiha rolls his eyes. "Now where... Ah! Here it is."

He pushes open a box and busts out laughing. I glare at the too-high box and hop onto his back, busting out laughing also.

Izuna had just presented Kitsune and Momo with a huge bag of assorted condoms, of which they were splitting up evenly between each other.

_**'Look! This one's musical!'**_Momo squeals.

_**'Yes! Grape flavored!'**_Kitsune fist pumps.

Momo dumps everything out and searches frantically, _**'Izuna-chan! You didn't get chocolate flavor! But you got grape for, Kitsune!'**_

_**'Cause he looooves me!'**_

_**'Kitsune, most Uchiha really hate you.'**_

_**'Nu-uh!'**_

_**'Sasuke hates you, Itachi avoids you, Madara... He dosen't count, you both relate to each other-'**_

_**'NII-SAN LOVES ME, AND YOU KNOW IT!'**_

_**'Sure he does, Kitsune.'**_

_**'He does-IZUNA! DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM US!'**_Kitsune jumps onto the Uchiha's back, gripping tightly onto his hair.

You could tell how much Izuna wanted to just throw her across the room, but he resists. And I probably knew why... He needed to get on their good side. Izuna magically poofs up a sofa and sits in it, watching over the two teens.

"Oh the hell he's in for." Madara chuckles darkly.

"Wonder if he'll bring 'em back." I smirk.

We leave the Sharingan world, and I find that I am extremely. Tired now. I glare at the Uchiha who shrugs, as I blackout... Stupid after effects.

**Izuna's P.O.V**

I watch in pure annoyance as I sit in my own personal hell. They're insane! They're playing with freaking condoms. How does Madara deal with them?

"Bigger! Bigger! Bigger!" Momo chants as Kitsune blows up a black condom.

Kitsune blows one last time and the condom explodes, sticking to her face. Momo bursts into laughter, pointing at the red head.

"And you guys are playing with condoms because?" I sigh.

"Condoms are great! The provide protection!" Kitsune hops to her feet and points to herself. "It keeps THIS looking good."

"I don't even think you could handle a baby." Momo smirks. "But hey, at least it would blend in with the family."

"Eh?"

"Red-head and a blonde, baka."

"OOOHHH!"

Kitsune begins shoving quite a few musical and flavored condoms in her pocket, then a few normal ones. Momo laughs and nonchalantly slips a few in her shirt.

"Okay, close your eyes." Kitsune instructs, digging through the pile, Unwrapping a condom and holding it up to Momo's face. "What flavor?"

"Hmm," Momo pokes her tounge out and licks the condom. "I'm gonna say... Watermelon."

"Nice."

"Okay your turn,"

Kitsune grins, "Mmmm, coffee~!" She continues licking whatever flavor was left on that condom. "Decaf to be exact."

Both girls turn to me. Momo hops to her feet also, "Let's play house, Izuna-chan!"

"WHAT?"

* * *

><p>Oh goody, Momo and Kitsune are somehow magically my kids. They run around around in circles with extremely long ribbons.<p>

"Izuna-chan! Carry meeeee!" Kitsune shouts from across the room. "I'm not that heavy, I swear!"

Timeskip.

"Izuna-chan! I likes your hair, can I braid it?" Momo bounces up to me. "Plleaaaaaase? I could french braid it with my awesome Momo skills!"

Time. Skip.

"AHHH! IZUNA! MOMO GOT LUBE IN MY EYES!" Kitsune shreiks, rubbing her eyes furiously. "And it burrns! Cheap ass condom!"

"In my defense, you ran up on me." Momo pouts.

"You guys are idiots." I comment.

"We know."

Time. Fucking. Skip.

Kitsune sits in my lap and narrows her eyes at Momo, kicking her in the side.

"Ow, what the hell Kitsune!" Momo rubs her side.

"Payback for getting lube in my eyes."

"It was funny," Momo giggles.

"ANYWAYS!" Kitsune claps her hands together. "Izuna, you should always use protection! Whether it's a girl or a boy or an animal or a plant or a demon! You could get an STD or AIDS or you could get pregnant!"

"I'm a guy." I point out.

"Dosen't mean anything, your more of an uke type when it comes to most pairings, and we don't need anymore red-eyed babies running around here! Itachi and Madara are handling that."

"What about Sasuke?" Momo questions.

"Sasuke has a 10 inch dick, and it's going up his ass and it sure dosen't belong to him." I grumble. "Fucking prick, trying to kill Sakura and Karin."

"See, this is why he dosen't like you."

"Well, instead of trying to kill his brother he could, oh I don't know, rebuild his clan? I mean, he HAD a million fangirls, he could've gotten a bunch of Uchiha kids."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is, to have a kid you must have unprotected sex and cum inside, DUH! I WENT TO SEX ED, MOMO!"

"Whaddya mean I'm uke in most pairings!" I shove Kitsune off me.

"Welllll." Both girl look away awkwardly. "Your not paired with many, but the ones your are paired with happen to be."

Kitsune skips around the couch, "Uchiha's~!"

"That's sick." I glare.

"It's actually very hot."

"Sick."

"Just imagine it!" She tries her hardest to convince me.

"No thanks."

"You and Madara in bed-"

"Disgusting, we're brothers."

"-you sucking him off and then pulling him into a passonate kiss-"

"I don't wanna hear that!" I cover my ears.

She jumps on top of me and tries prying my hands away and talking louder, "-ramming his-"

"Shut up, Kitsune!"

"And you riding him-"

"Are you deaf?"

"-wine bottle-"

"Kitsune!"

"-hardcore bondage-"

I block out a majorite of her words succesfully until her mouth stops moving. I uncover my ears and glare at the perverted child.

"It would be very hot and sexy." She states triumphantly.

"First of all, I'm not gay, second: Madara's my brother. Third: Everything I heard was DISTURBING."

"...Are you bi?" Momo asks.

Another freaking time skip, someone shoot me.

"IZUNA! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE LAID!" Momo screams in my ear, waking me up from my quick rest.

"And you said he wasn't sleeping." Kitsune scoffs.

"That's none of your business." I scowl at the Hyuga.

"You sure your not bi or gay? Cause I have a friend-"

I quickly cut off the Uzumaki's most. Annoying. Kid. "Not intrested."

"You sure your not a little curious?"

"I'm sure,"

"You can top if that makes you feel confident?"

"Go away."

Momo whispers something in Kitsune's ear.

They laugh and curl up on the couch on either side of me, muttering quick good nights. I sigh in relief, finally able to leave, when Kitsune suddenly pops her head up and stares for a few moments.

"What?" I glare tiredly.

"Momo. Dude. I just realized something really messed up about your children's eyes." She nudges her friend until the girl pays attention.

"Hm?" Momo cocks her head to the side.

"Well, if Itachi's the daddy and an Uchiha and YOUR a Hyuga, your kids might have eyes like Izuna's!"

"..." Momo drops her head back down. "Way to traumatize me before I go to sleep."

"I'm do my job with pride." Kitsune grins tiredly, laying her head back down. "Night Izuna-chan!"

I grunt in reply and leave as quickly as possible. What a day.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

I wake up in time to find myself being dragged to the village gates. I glare at whoever was dragging me and snatch my foot away.

"You couldn't have carried me?" I snap at Itachi. "Sheesh, people these days."

I skip into my new "home" and go into the sweets shop to pick out something. I frown as I realize all the chocolate was GONE.

"Those little brats, eating all my chocolate." I grumble, exiting the store with a lollipop. I then sigh. "I wonder what's next...?"

"We take over Suna, then either destroy or ally with Sound." Itachi appears behind me.

"Oh yeah... What about Iwa?"

"That's the basic area Momo and Kitsune are,"

"Wait, how do you know?"

"I followed their chakra signiture for awhile, we may or may not destroy Iwa because it seems like Izuna is in charge their so it's up to Madara."

I blink slowly and stare up at the raven-haired Uchiha, "That's the longest sentence you have ever said."

"Wait, if you know where they are, let's go get them." Konan pops up out of nowhere.

"Yeah!" I cheer. "Let's bring Konan, Madara, Itachi, Hidan, Deidara and Kitsune's therapy tools!"

"Therapy tools?"

"Why yes, Konan."

"Well... Let's go get the others and go!"

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><p><strong>Again, I'm reall really sorry for taking so long to update! D:<strong>


	57. Moments

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I yawn and stretch out my back from my position on the couch. Momo was still fast asleep, and I didn't have a marker on me. DAMNIT!

I get up and smile at the mess of condoms littering the... What the hell do I call this place? It's not a room, but not exactly a dungeon... The droomon. Yeah...

I pat myself on the back for my smartness and start cleaning up the unwrapped and popped condoms. I wonder where Izuna is?

"Izuna-chan!" I lean on the bar-door that keeps us locked in. "I'm hungry! Are you awake?"

No answer, so he's either ignoring me or still sleep. I groan and try to get a look around, but all I could do was see a hall way. I stand there for awhile, praying to the gods that I wasn't stuck, before pulling myself out between the bars and going back to the couch.

I walk in circles around the droomon and wait for everyone to wake up. God, I hate my sleeping habits, few people wake up at these times. Well, if we're gonna be here I'm making some requests. Hmph.

I cross my arms and blow a stray piece of hair out my face. I need a brush.

"What to do? What to do?" I sigh outloud. "Izuna's not here to poof some stuff up, Momo's still sleep... I'll practice my therapy techniques!"

**Izuna's P.O.V**

"Izuna-chan!" One of the girls yell from their... Whatever they wish to call it. "Are you awake? I'm hungry!"

I take one look at the clock and shove a pillow over my head. I dealt with them all day yesterday, I'm not getting up at 3am. Things are quiet for quite sometime and I sigh in relief.

I'm almost back to sleep when a scream erupts from the back room.

"IZUNA! HEEELP! AHHHHHH!"

Definantly Kitsune.

With no chance of going back to sleep, I get up and pull on some pants, going to see what the hell has the girl screaming this early in the morning.

"What the hell are you screaming for?" I growl out.

"That spider bit me! Is it poisonus? Ahhh! Imma gonna die!" Kitsune shreiks.

"Shut up, it's just a spider. Kill it."

"But it's huge!"

"Don't care, kill it,"

"Meany."

"It's four in the morning."

"How come you keep us in here? We won't break anything, I swear on my stepmother's grave! It's so stuffy in here!"

Momo yawns, finally waking up, "Yeah, we won't leave. It's actually not half bad here. We don't even know where we are, and Kitsune has a horrible sense of direction."

I roll my eyes and start to walk away.

"Izuna, I don't get why you don't just seal the front door?" Kitsune points out. "That way, we can't leave but we can still around the... Imma call it a house."

"It's a win-win situation," Momo adds.

I take this into consideration as I keep walking. They might be pretty strong, but they're not all to smart. I could just use an advanced seal that they couldn't break. Yeah... I'll go do that.

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I squeal in delight and hug Izuna as he lets us out the droomon. Then I go off to find the laundry room. I strip down, leaving my Akatsuki cloak on and wash a load of clothes. Then I go find the bathroom and take a long hot shower, washing my hair while I'm at it.

I was enjoying myself so far. I wonder if he has any coffee? Does he live alone...? Pretty damn big house for a single person.

I leave the shower and grab a comb off the counter, going into the living room to wait for my clothes to finish the wash cycle. I was eager to find a TV, not so eager that Momo and Izuna had taken it over.

"The news? Why?" I groan, sinking into the couch. "It's so boring! All they do is report stuff and-"

"If we change the channel, will you shut up?" Izuna snaps, changing the channel to some cartoons, but turning it down real low.

"Someone's not a morning person." Momo chuckles.

I watch cartoons and comb out my hair for the next hour, until it's silky smooth and straight. A low buzz comes from the laundry room and I run to put the clothes in the dryer.

**Momo's P.O.V**

I get up and make myself some breakfast, which was some microwave pancakes and a cup of orange juice. Izuna had gone back to sleep the second Kitsune had left the room the go put her clothes in the dryer.

"Momo, if I put these bullets in a frying pan, would they shoot themselves?" Kitsune appears out of nowhere, taking apart her magical gun that refills itself.

"Maybe, why?" I shrug.

"Saw it in a movie."

"Well don't, we promised Izuna we wouldn't destroy his house."

She sighs heavily, "Okay..."

She gets to work on looking for something to eat. I leave the kitchen without another thought, changing the channel to some reality show. Things go silent in the kitchen.

"Kitsune...?" I call out boredly.

I'm answered by an explosion and a scream... Then some cursing... Few more crashes... Another curse.

I run into the kitchen, "What did you DO!"

"I tried to make pancakes and bacon!" She shreiks, stomping out a fire. "It didn't work out!"

"You idiot! He's gonna be pissed!"

"My bad, okay!"

"HOW DO YOU MAKE PANCAKES EXPLODE!"

A buzz goes off sounding slightly faraway.

"MY CLOTHES!" Kitsune stops just outside the kitchen. "And it was the bacon that exploded." And then she's gone... How does she do that?

I groan and start trying to erase the traces of exploded bacon from the kitchen. It wasn't to hard, but I couldn't do anything about the stove.

Kitsune comes back in her normal clothes, "Thanks for cleaning the mes-"

"Your taking the blame."

We pause to stare as Izuna tromps into the kitchen, staring at the stove blankly. Kitsune puts a pot on her head and cowers under the table.

"What happened... To... My... Stove." Izuna's eye twitches.

"Kitsune tried to make bacon." I exit the room.

**Flavia's P.O.V**

"What's with the fancy, rainbow backpack?" Dinah questions.

"It's got food and Kitsune's tools of therapy."

"For?"

I lean closely to her ear and whisper almost silently, "Izuna is Madara's brother. If Kitsune likes Izuna... She'll work a miracle."

"Ohhhh,"

Madara glances back at her, "What's with the Oh?"

"Noothing."

"Oh really."

"Yeah, really."

"This is so entertaining." I grin. "I like starting things."

"..." Itachi stops walking. "We're surronded."

"Thank you, useful Uchiha." Konan spites.

"Hey, I'm useful." Madara flips Konan off.

Dinah sighs, "Guys-"

"With what? Flirting?" Konan scowls.

"Don't scowl hun, it'll ruin your face... Oops, to late." Madara teases.

"Ohhh! Buuurn!" I laugh.

Itachi sighs, pulling out a kunai, all too use to this situation.

Dinah tries again, "Guys, I thi-"

"Oh! You wanna say _I DON'T LOOK GOOD!_" Konan screeches. "What about those wrinkles, huh!"

"Ooh, damn!" I cheer them on.

"What about your fat ass and saggy boobs, huh!" Madara growls back.

"GUYS, SHUT UP AND FOCUS OR I WILL SHOVE A 10 INCH DILDO UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!" Dinah screams, stomping her foot.

We all freeze and stare, even the enemy Shinobi that were trying to sneak up on us.

"YOU TOO!" Dinah screams at the enemy. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE OR YOUR HEAD IS GOING UP HIS ASS, YOUR HEAD IS GOING UP HER ASS AND YOUR HEAD IS GOING IN HIS DICK!"

"Ouch." Madara backs away slowly. "Okay, we'll be serious."

"Scared of your girlfriend, Madara." I tease.

"Hey, if you want a head shoved up your ass, that's fine with me. I'm not into that."

"Psh, I'm not either."

* * *

><p><strong>I gave you a double update for taking so long ^^; sorry again!<strong>


	58. Le Perv

**Kitsune's P.O.V**

I cower on the sofa, freaking out on the inside. Momo laughs softly at my over reaction.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" I throw a couch pillow at her.

"Oh man, who knew your greatest fear would be something so... IRONIC!"

"Shut up, Momo!"

"Your banned from cooking." Izuna pops my head.

"I know..." Kitsune sighs. "We NEVER speak of this. EVER!"

"Whatever."

"Izuna, what time is it?" Momo asks out of the blue.

"About noon, why?"

"I hope you have wall insurance."

**_BOOM!_**

"My saviors!" I cheer, not moving from my spot on the couch. "Took you long enough."

"KITSUNE!" A black furball tackles me. "MOMO!" Said furball uses me as a launch pad to tackle Momo. "I MISSED YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!"

"That's mean," I grumble. "And that hurted."

"IM SORRY KITSUNE!"

"Yelling is not necesarry." Madara pops Flavia on the back of her head.

"But reccomended." Dinah grins, then turns her attention to Izuna who decieded to ignore the fact that his wall just got blown apart. "So your the one mind controling my friends."

"I don't even know you..." Momo blinks slowly.

"That's not the point!"

There's this awkward silence, glare off that lasts quite awhile. I look back and forth between the oldest Uchiha brothers. They didn't seem to happy to see each other.

"Has anyone ever noticed that Uchiha's don't really like each other?" I comment. "Izuna hates Madara, Sasuke hates Itachi and vice versa for both."

"It's no wonder they all died out." Flavia smirks.

"Guys, that's mean." Momo pouts. "Do you have something against Uchiha's?"

"I have nothing against your boyfriend." Flavia shrugs.

"I love Uchiha's! Except for Sasuke." I grin. "All the leftover Uchiha are INSANE, except for Itachi. He's with Momo though, so I must respect him a bit."

"Dinah threatened us all, Kitsune! We need you back, everythings out of balance!" Konan announces.

I bust out laughing, "Seriously? Oh man, I can't believe I missed that!"

"Oh, and we brought your therapy tools, whatever they are."

"YOU GUYS ARE THE BESSSSSST!"

"...Therapy?" Izuna raises his eye brow.

"Don't let her touch you." EVERYONE in the room replies.

"Hey! I'm clean!" I protest. "Cleaner than any of you dickholes in here!"

"Your mouth isn't very clean." Itachi mutters.

"Perv."

"You thought it, not me."

"..." I cross my arms. "I like Izuna better. He's nice."

"Bitch, I'm nice to you." Madara snaps.

"...You just called me a bitch and you hit me all the time. Izuna beats you on the nice sca-WEAPONS DOWN, ALL OF YOU!"

...

Going all dominatrix**[A/N: What does this word mean? I heard it on TV and everyone's ass got kicked!]** on everyone, I got them to sit down and shut up and watch TV. I smirk to myself and watch some reality show.

"Kitsune, your mouth needs to be washed out with some heavy duty soap." Konan rolls her eyes. "That was an over reaction on so many levels."

"Sorry,"

I go through my therapy bag, "Izuna, Madara, your my second and next patients."

"Who were the first?" Dinah raises her eye brows in surprise. "And were they high?"

"Hidan and Kakuzu were my first, and possibly."

Madara glares, "There's no way-"

I shoot two tranqs, both catching the Uchiha brothers by surprise, in the neck. They faceplant right down into the floor, unmoving. I squeal in delight and get the rope out my therapy bag, tying them both to chairs and bringing them to the Droomon(making sure to keep the doors unlocked).

"Good luck, Kitsune!" Dinah gives me a thumbs up. "Try not to scar Madara, okay?"

"Don't scar yourself either!" Momo chimes helpfully.

"Soo supportive!" I scan my special scroll. "Now get out, I have work to do."

"Daaamn, your actually into your work," Konan laughs.

They leave, the Uchiha brothers wake up and I start the jutsu.

* * *

><p>I groan and rub my head, not having done this in awhile. I look up at the miffed Uchiha's.<p>

"Okay, lets get this therapy session started." I clap my hands together. "Here's the rule of whatever I accidently created one day, One: you can't touch me. Two: I control what happens in here. And Three: ...Haven't come up with rule 3."

"You are so dead." Madara glowers.

"Hey! I'm taking time out of my day to fix YOU PEOPLES problems!"

"Who asked you too?"

"Look. I don't want to be someone's mindless zombie, and I kinda like Izuna... So shut up and let's therapize." I start walking slowly through their joined minds. "Now, what age do you think the problems started?"

"At birth." The two of them mutter.

"You mean I gotta go back THAT FAR!?" I shreik, both cringing and me remembering I just joined our minds together. "Sorry."

I move a little faster, "Okay, how bout we start at Izuna age 5." I push open a door at random and peek in at the scene of them(Madara 8, Izuna 5) taking a bath together. "Awww, that's so cute!"

Little Izuna scoots over to Madara and bites deep into his arm. A scream erupts from the latters mouth. I close the door and move down a bit further. The next door was Little Madara glaring down at a newborn Izuna.

"Aww, is someone jealous?" I tease. "Okay, let's start here. Why were you jealous of a baby, Madara?"

"I wasn't." He growls.

"Sure you weren't, because it's so normal to glare at a baby."

"Shut up."

"Madara-chan!" I jump on his back. "Answer the questions or I can't help!"

"Izuna's an attention whore."

"Okay, that's a good start." I drum my fingers ontop of his head. "So, why do you think Izuna's an attention whore?"

"I don't think, I KNOW!"

"..."

"Your an ass." Izuna scowls.

I groan and walk off into their memories while they argued. As I come into middle-aged memories, I get the feeling I'm being watched.

"If you guys are try-"

"HULLO!" A random guy glomps me.

"AHH WHO THE HELL ARE YOOU!?" I thrash around useleslly.

"I AM TOBI!"

"Huh?"

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

"Kitsune." I wriggle my way free.

"THANK YOU, KITSUNE!"

"Hmm?"

"MADARA-CHAN LOCKED ME UP AND WOULDN'T LET ME GO! YOU FINALLY FREED ME KITSUNE-CHAN!"

"That's great, Tobi."

"Hey... Do you know where Madara-chan is?"

"Yeah, follow me."

"Hehehehe."

"What's with that laugh, Tobi?"

"Tobi just can't WAIT to see Madara-chan again!"

"I bet he'll be so surprised."

I find the Uchiha brothers at each others throats, profanities and random outbursts coming from them.

"Hey!" I pull them away from each other. "You have a visitor!"

Madara turns to stare in horror, "You let him OUT?!"

"On accident, yes."

"Who's he?" Izuna cocks an eyebrow.

"I am Tobi!"

"Also known as Madara's alter-ego." I chuckle.

Tobi gets Madara into a bone-crushing hug, "TOBI MISSED MADARA-CHAN SO MUCH! TOBI WAS SO LONELY WHEN YOU LEFT HIM, BUT NOW TOBI IS HAPPY NOW THAT YOUR BACK AND TOBI MADE A NEW FRIEND NAMED KITSUNE!"

I roll on the ground, laughing at the Uchiha's obvious pain.

"Hey Tobi!" I deciede to help out a bit. "Ya know Izuna here? He's Madara's brother, which makes him YOUR brother too! Shouldn't he get a hug too?"

Izuna shoots my a glare right before Tobi glomps him to the ground and practically deafens him. I start laughing again, pointing at the suffering Uchiha.

"You bitch, call him off!" Izuna growls.

"No. No! You do not call me a bitch and give me orders! Only I do that to others!" I huff.

"Hey Tobi, I think Kitsune needs a hug." Madara grins.

"OH YEAH!"

"Wait-wait-waaaaiit!" I cover the back of my head as Tobi glomps me next. "Oh god, get him off of meee! Fucking shit, AHHHHHHH! Your both assholes!"

**Flavia's P.O.V**

My life is so weird. My best friends WERE under mind control, Dinah's reading couples' magazines, Momo's kinda emo, Kitsune's performing THERAPY on two brothers who hate each other and we apparently took over half the world. Yippee?

"I'm so boooored!" I groan.

"Your basically ruling the world and your bored?" Konan questions.

"Yes. I don't have a cookie-slave yet."

"Sigh."

"DO NOT DO THAT TO ME!"

"Sigh." Momo joins in.

"HEY!"

"Sigh." Itachi rolls his eyes.

"STOP IT!"

"Sigh." Dinah smirks.

"YOUR ALL SO MEAN TO ME!"

"CRAZIES AND PSHYCOMEN!" Kitsune skips into the room. "I HAVE CURED THE FIRST OF MANY!"

"Kitsune, you didn't cure anything." Izuna walks in with his arms crossed. "If anything, you destroyed whatever therapy Madara had."

"I didn't mean to, okay?" I scoff. "Besides, if you want your normal eyes back so much, I know a pinkette who's great with transplants."

"Do you even know where they are?"

"Well, ones in my eye socket right now." I shrug like its a normal thing to say. "The other, Madara probably has."

"Speaking of which." Izuna sighs. "Tobi! Come here!"

"Tobi?" I question.

"Like I said, she destroyed whatever real therapy Madara had."

"Tobi's here Izuna-chan!" Madara(?) comes bouncing into the room. "What do you want?"

"Where's my eye?"

"In Kitsune's eye socket."

"The other one."

"In some half-blind guys socket from Shadow."

"What the hell? You gave my eye to a stranger!?"

"Nice to know he dosen't mind I have his eye." Kitsune chuckles, sitting by me. "Play chopsticks with me."

"Make me."

"One round and we'll do more match-making."

"Fine." I roll my eyes and hold out my fingers.

* * *

><p>Madara and Izuna went looking for the guy Madara gave Izuna's eye. They came back 30 minutes later, much to my surprise.<p>

Kitsune and I corner Dinah in the exercise room.

"Someone's self concious." I giggle, looking around the room.

"So Dinah, it seems you and Madara have hit a bump in the road with your relationship." Kitsune plants her hands firmly on her hips.

**[WARNING: The rest of this chapter is a bit perverted XD But we're all big kids here! ...I blame my friends... dirtying up my mind with their contests and videos..]**

"We have not."

"You guys stopped talking." I point out helpfully.

"I DON'T wanna have sex with him." Dinah pouts.

"Well, there ARE other ways,"

"Hm?"

"You could get him a whore." Kitsune lists off. "Or a sex doll."

"No and no." Dinah's eye twitches.

"Well then, there's ONE other way." I grin sneakily.

"What is it?"

"If we tell you, there's no going back!"

"Alright! Tell me!"

"Say it." Kitsune smirks.

Dinah groans exhasperated, "Kitsune and Flavia are the best matchmakers in the world."

"Alrighty then, Fem-Cupid, go get as many banana's as you can find!"

"Alrighty then!" I jog out the exercise room, and go into the kitchen. "Izuna-chan! Where do you keep your bananas?"

"For what?" Izuna gives me a weird look.

"Dinah's hungry, and she wants bananas." I giggle.

"Um... I'm not even gonna ask, they're in the bowl on the table."

"Okay!" I grab the whole bunch of bananas and run back to where Kitsune and Dinah were. "I got the bananas!"

**Itachi's P.O.V**

"Hey... What do you think they want the bananas for." Izuna asks.

Everyone stops what they're doing to think.

"Why don't we go spy on them," I answer sarcastically.

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!" Konan jumps out her seat. "Let's goooo!"

We sneak through the hallways to Izuna's indoor gym.

"Alright, now open your mouth and slide it in." I pick out Kitsune's voice. "Do you have a gag reflex?"

There's a breif silence then lots of coughing.

"Yes, yes she does." Flavia laughs. "Try tipping your head up some and loosening your neck muscles."

"You guys are INSANE." Dinah whines.

"It works though."

"Why did I agree to this?"

"Cause you loooove us." Both younger girls chime.

"..." Momo turns the doorknob and takes a step back. Then she shoves Izuna in the room and runs off.

"She's got 5 in...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!?" Flavia squeals. "This is a secret ritual!"

"Not really." Izuna mutters.

"Well it's not so secret anymore!" Kitsune exclaims.

"You guys are pervs. Poor Dinah."

"We're not pervs, we're prepared! Your just jealous cause you can't do it."

"I'm not gay."

"Are you bi?"

"No."

"Your sure?"

"WE'VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS!"

All of them exit the room, Izuna and Kitsune arguing about Izuna's sexual attraction, Flavia holding 3 unpeeled banana's with a sly grin and Dinah red in the face.

"Hold on." Izuna gives Kitsune the universal shush signal. "Madara, your girlfriend has no skills." Then he goes back to arguing.

Madara twitches and his eyes glow red.

Kitsune pauses the arguement again, "Dinah did pretty good for a first timer."

"What about you?" Konan questions.

"I never had a gag reflex." Kitsune grins. "I was great at parties. So entertaining."

"Hey, can you show me how to do that?"

"What the hell?" Momo stares wide-eyed. "Your not the only ones in here!"

"Pshh, you know you wanna learn too, Momo-chan." Flavia grins.

These girls are all freaks. Freaks I say! They should be banned from eating bananas.

I look over to see Momo thrashing about on the ground, Flavia holding her head still, Kitsune sitting on her chest and pushing a banana into Momo's mouth and the other Uchiha brothers cheering them on. What did I do to deserve to be around all these idiots?

* * *

><p><strong>I'm a perv... I blame my friends even more...<strong>

**I can't believe this stories almost done! D:**


	59. Contest Banana

**Wow... havent updated for awhile... WARNIGN. VRY PERVERTED.**

* * *

><p><strong> Kitsune's P.O.V<strong>

We'd gotten all the Akatsuki here and I was finishing up my announcements.

"And so, we should rule the world together!" I clap my hands together. "Now, girls! Time for the contest!"

"I'm not apart of this." Momo glares.

I flap my arms like a chicken, "Baaawk. Bawk bawk! Your a chicken! Afraid you gonna lose? Bawk-ba-bawk!"

"Oh shut up, you practicially killed me last time!"

"I told you to relax."

"Yes, cause everyone can relax when they're being assaulted by a banana."

"Ahahahaha."

"What's this contest, un?" Deidara questions.

"Oh, you'll see." Konan smirks.

Izuna and Madara had quietly started arguing. I look away for 5 seconds to check the time when I hear a thump. I swivel my head around to see Madara ontop of Izuna, the older trying to strangle his brother. Time to intervene.

"LE GASP! INCEST, THE FANFICS ARE TRUE!" I squeal, hopping up and down like a crazed fangirl. "UCHIHACEST IS REAL!"

"YOU GUYS SHOULD MAKE A PORNO!" Flavia joins me.

"I've been away to long..." Momo mutters. "My friends have turned into horny teenage boy brains."

"I'd watch it." Dinah and Konan raise their hands.

"I'd direct it." I smirk.

"I'd produce it." Flavia claps her hands together.

"It's settled then! Madara, Izuna! Your the stars of my next porno!" I announce.

Madara quickly gets off of Izuna, "Next?"

"Yeah, these two girls at this hotel needed a good video-taper, and since it was a payed job, I did it for them." I shrug.

"I'm not gay. I'm pretty sure HE'S not gay." Izune reiterates, a tic mark appearing on his head.

"Why can't you be gay?" Flavia pouts.

"But then I'd be all lonely!" Dinah huffs. "Who would I be with if Madara was gay?"

"Can we just do this contest of yours and get on with our lives," Pein facepalms.

"Oh! Right!" I go retrieve bananas from the kitchen.

"I don't wanna do this, there's people watching." Dinah mumbles.

"You did it when Izuna walked in and-"

"DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE, I'LL DO IT!"

"Le gasp! Dinah can read minds!" Flavia smacks her cheeks with her hands.

"Let's just get this over with." Momo gives up on arguing and grabs a banana.

"Hey, how're we gonna measure this?" Konan realizes.

"Just bite down when you reach your limit." Flavia shrugs.

"Ready..." Izuna reclines in a random chair. "Set..."

"Go!" Madara interupts.

* * *

><p>Momo falls into a fit of giggles as we measure the banana's that now had little bite-indents. Flavia gives her a knowing look and writes down the last score.<p>

"Ya know, these are pretty big bananas. What do these people put in their food?" Dinah mutters.

"Everythings big in the ninja realm! Have you SEEN how big a shuriken can get?" I throw my hands up. "Even their frogs are fucking huge!"

Flavia laughs and announces the winners, "In first place, we have me at 10 inches! In second place we have Kitsune at 9 and a half! In third is a tie with Konan and Dinah at 7 inches and Momo, who CLAIMS she didn't try and could go deeper if she wanted, got 5 inches."

"I'm not claiming anything." Momo's eye twitches. "I didn't even wanna do the contest."

"You just keep thinking that, honey," I tease.

We settle around the living room with our respective partners and watch TV in semi-peace. I mean, you wouldn't BELIEVE how many times there were arguements over the stupid remote! Then again, I caused most of them.

"Alright, let's just watch cartoons and call it a day." I huff, snatching the remote from Izuna and changing the channel.

Things get deadly silent. I sigh and wait for whatever bad was gonna happen to happen. I watch cartoons with a smirk aimed at Izuna.

Next thing I know, I'm on the ground. I clutch the remote and crawl away from the attacking, and probably paid Flavia. I get a good distance away and throw the remote at her head.

"Oww..." She picks up the remote while rubbing her head. "Ah-hah!"

"Hehehehe." I wave the batteries in the air and hide them in my bra. I skip away singing the Vocoloid song, Trick and Treat!

"What the hell are you singing?" Izuna questions.

"It's this song from another world." I simply say.

"Eh?"

"Oh, uh, we didn't tell you, did we?" Momo taps her chin. "From what I've been told, we're originally from here, got sent to another world called Earth-"

"Then got transported BACK here for whatever reason." Dinah interupts.

"Dinah, what's your last name?" I question. "Are you from the Naru-verse?"

Dinah taps her chin in thought, "I checked through Tsunade's files, my last name... I forgot."

Flavia facepalms, "But your from here, right?"

"Eeyup."

Konan gasps in realization, claiming the remote and batteries. She changes the channel and the opening song to MLP:FIM was playing. Momo's, Pein's, Madara's, Izuna's and Dinah's jaws drop down to the floor as Konan sits on her knees and watches TV like a little kid.

"I guess we are pretty influencing, Yaoi-chan." Flavia giggles.

"I feel great about that, don't you Hentai-chan?" I chuckle. "Hey, Yuri-chan!"

Momo chooses to ignore me, a sweatdrop evident on her head. Me and Flavia yell Yuri-chan for awhile, before we give up when she doesn't reply. We groan overly loud, now bored.

Momo blinks and stares at Izuna, "What was your plan when you became..." She makes quotes with her fingers. "Voice-sensei?"

Izuna shrugs, "Fight to the death?"

"Ahhh."

"Ya know, Uchiha's are suppose to be smart and all, yet they ALL wanna kill off each other." I point out. "That's stupid, the Uchiha clan would go extinct."

They silently consider this, so I continue with a new hope.

"Ita-Itachi!" I bounce up and down on the balls of my feet. "Please! Please? Oh please?"

Itachi sighs, "What Kitsune."

"Therapy! You and Sasuke, puh-lease! PLEASE!"

Itachi kinda just stares at me, also sweatdropping. He turns away to look for help.

"Tell her no!" Madara growls.

I shoot him with a dart and he passes out on the ground. Itachi stares at the now unconcious Uchiha surprised. I shoot Izuna a look and he turns away.

"I think you should give it a shot," Zetsu comments.

"Say yes! Please say yes!" I whine.

"..." Itachi sighs. "If you can get him here."


	60. Life and Death

**Wow it's been awhile... Sorry! But here you go!**

* * *

><p>Everyone stops fighting to stare at the monsterous monster coming our way. It reminded me of that thing from Cloverfield mixed with a Shark-bearagator. Everyone scatters, the good-guys forming a wall around the Akatsuki.<p>

We stare with amused looks at their fail. Kitsune jumps onto Jugo's back with a battle cry, "Charge, Jugo-kun! Wooo!"

Suigetsu laughs at how she dealt with the situation, charging in the opposite direction. Jugo hits the people and Kitsune is thrown off. I catch a glimpse of Garret, which surprises me.

He shouldn't be out here. Momo looked fairly confused also. Everything was a mess of running and blood. A blood-curling scream erupts from the area where Kitsune fell.

I tumble down the steep hill, Deidara, Izuna, Madara, Dinah, Konan, Momo, and Karin follow with a mix of worry varying to curiosity. See? They care about her sometimes.

We see a fairly disturbing thing. We see Kitsune being dragged towards a cave by some kinda mutant monster. It had lots of fur, tentacle-string-things like Kakuzu, bright red eyes, a pointy mouth and a couple rows of teeth and a squishy, pink body with multiple tiny legs/feet.

Kitsune makes a mad grab for her scythe and cuts the tentacle-strings off her feet. She runs over to us and breathes a sigh of relief.

"Aww, you guys came after me." She grins. "I knew you loved me,"

"That thing is scary as fuck." Dinah flinches at the memory. "I really hate this island."

"We can leave, ya know." Madara points out. "We got Dinah and Konan back. If we leave now, we can-"

"NOOOOOO!" Kitsune suddenly says. "I AM GONNA WORK ANOTHER MIRACLE!"

She does many handsigns, and suddenly flops face first into the ground. Madara sighs while Izuna mutters something about a 'delusional child'.

"She does have family on the other side." Dinah comments. "She isn't totally heartless."

Everyone slowly stops fighting and starts... Hugging? Kitsune gets back up with a tired smile. She taps her head.

"Memory sharing." She breathes. "This war is over. Madara, you rule over the Uchiha compound, even though it doesn't house only Uchiha, along with Izuna. Itachi, Sasuke, your back in the community as normal people... All of you are. Your welcome."

"Your a real good person, Kitsune." Konan smiles.

"Yeah, yeah." Kitsune forces her eyes open. "I need a nap."

"You always need a nap." Minato appears behind us.

The memory of this war was gone.

"Damn ri-"

Those same, mosnterous, black threads wrap themselves around Kitsune's neck, mouth and forehead. She gives a muffled screamed and claws at it fearfully. Before any of us can react, it jerks her backwards into it's cavern. Black threads cover the entrance like a web.

We stare in horror, unbelieving of what just happened. Kitsune does something good... And gets killed?

3 DAYS LATER...

In the middle of a grassy field, we had a cross stuck in the ground. Surronding it was many... Many things. Her stuffed bear that was missing an eye, her scythe, flowers, various weapons found in her pouch, her old Akatsuki cloak(it ripped, she got a new one), and her other pair of shoes. There was also a bunch of pictures. One when she was a new born(surprisingly bald), one when she was a toddler(before being sent to Earth), and a recent one with her posing like she was a little kid pretending to be a cowboy. A candle was placed atop the obituary and lit.

"We are here today in memory of Kitsune Uzumaki." Tsunade says, everyone quieting down. "She was a confused, fighter...friend...lover...daughter and singer. She made ends meet and tried her best to please everyone."

I turn to my left to see Momo wiping her eyes every few seconds, the area around them turning puffy and red. She sniffs and swallows stiffly. Right next to her was Deidara, his head down, he himself shaking.

To my right was Hidan, looking up at the sky, eyes closed and holding his rosary. I sigh sadly and stare at the obituary made for our Kitsune. Through good and bad, she was always there. After every kidnapping, she came back laughing. After every battle, she came back laughing, even if she lost.

But I don't think she'll come back laughing again. She's not Hidan, someone I'll have forever because he's immortal. He'll be the only one who won't leave me by death. But my roots with Kitsune and Momo...they go deep. Deeper than the roots of a tree.

I look behind me and stare at a stone-faced Madara. I snap my fingers and he looks up at me.

"Do you miss her?" I whisper.

"No matter what happens in the future, I will always miss that frying pan swinging, perverted, loud, brat." Madara sighs.

I nod in agreement and turn back around. They were doing that thing where you say what you want about the deceased. The Uzumaki's were up first.

"Kitsune was our daughter...maybe a bit off." Minato starts. "But we loved her a lot and will forever hold her in out hearts."

"To think she never got to see her baby sister," Kushina rubs her stomach. "She didn't get to see a lot of things, actually."

"I wish I could've been there." Naruto whispers and walks off the stage.

All four Uchiha brothers go up, the rest of the Akatsuki, Momo, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Shikamaru, and the rest of the Konoha teams. There were many mentions of her match-making. Everyone thought she wasn't really that bad.

I go up, in charge of giving a prayer of respect, "Dear... Jashin... God... Whoever I'm suppose to follow. I know I don't pray much... But did she really deserve this? Did all those who loved her deserve this?" A sob escapes my throat, but I continue. "She risked everything for everyone, all for what? To be horribly killed? We spent 6 HOURS trying to get her out of that stupid cave and she was screaming and crying for 5 of those hours! She was begging for death! She tries to do something good and she's punsihed? She stopped the god damn war, isn't that worth anything? She did something good for everyone, and with a snap of fingers she's dead." I finally snap and my wall is broken. "If that's how whatever stupid god out there thinks thats how things should work, then fuck them! I don't want a god that punishes the good! What I want is my friend back, but there's no way to fix this!" I start pacing the stage. "NONE of your Konoha people truely cared about her. NONE OF YOU! She was thrown in jail and almost executed, brought to the brink of insanity, casted off, brought back, casted off AGAIN and none of you tried to help! None of you stood up for her, yet she kept thousands of people from dying!"

I begin to walk off the stage, "None of you good-guys even liked her till she died. The Akatsuki? We stuck with her until the end, even after that. You People?" I pause to take a deep breath. "You stood there and watched." I throw the microphone down and stomp off into the woods.

No one followed me, I was glad. I needed time to think. My friend was killed by the most fucked up thing possible, whether it was karma or the choice of some god. The world can burn for all I care.

In the back of my mind, I silently wondered what happened in that cavern.

THAT NIGHT...

It was a rainy, stormy night and things were quiet during dinner at our new home. At the Uchiha compound. Something Kitsune made possible.

Deidara left without a word, which was understandable. His girlfriend(something even closer than that!) was just killed in front of him. I stare out at the rain and rub my stomach softly.

Hidan comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. His hands gently stroking my stomach. He sighs contently and stares out the window.

For some odd reason, our house had a nice view of Kitsune's obituary.

"It won't help to stare at it." Hidan murmurs. "She's not coming back."

"If only." I sink to my knees. "Do you think she deserved it, Hidan-chan?"

Hidan pauses to think, "No." He pauses again and adds. "This wasn't Jashin-sama's doing, no matter how torturous."

I sigh and stare at a crack in the wall, "At least I know where she is."

"In a cave with a weird monster?"

"No! ...In heaven with all those other dead ninjas. In heaven with Granny Chiyo, Zabuza, Haku, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru."


	61. Epilouge

**Final chapter... But hey! The sequal will be up TOMMORROW! So make sure you read it! A dead sequel is not a good sequel so please read and review. **

* * *

><p><em><strong>NO ONE'S P.O.V<strong>_

Flavia had begun to lose her usual spark. She joked and teased less and less. She tried her best to act normal, but she visited the obituary everyday.

Momo was depressed. She spent half her time in the Naru-verse hating Kitsune and wanting her dead. Not to long after they make up, the red-head dies. She felt horrible and rarely talked anymore.

All 4 of the Uchiha boys talked less than usual. They no longer had someone loud and perverted to brighten their day or to tease.

The rest of the Akatsuki had gone back to their usual ways, laying around and remembering good times. Deidara alone was extremely depressed. He drank and was almost always drunk as a skunk. No one really bothered him anymore. He didn't even argue with Itachi anymore.

Overall, no one was really that happy. The remembered back on old times and memories. A couple people tried forgetting, and it... Kinda worked.

The name Kitsune Uzumaki would never be forgotten.


	62. Hey y'all

Attention Everyone!

its the moment you've all been waiting for... YaoiYuriHentai 2 is finally up! It's under the same name, except with the words "Legends" added...

The things love most about this story is that it's called YaoiYuriHentai, but there is none of that in it XD though their may or may not be references, idk. I should read through this someday.

Im rambling again...

but seriously, go check out the sequal! Review please :3 I'd appreciate it!


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